Lost and Found
by GoofyGal2008
Summary: Takes place about a month after 4.11. In the aftermath of Meredith & Derek's breakup, she fails to show up for work one day. Where is Meredith? What happened to her and how will her friends cope once they find out?
1. She's Not Here

**A/N:** Just a few quick warnings before we get going here. One, this story might get more than a bit angsty. Don't say you weren't warned if you want happy and fluffy all the way through. I love good drama, so expect a lot of that in this story. Two, I don't really like McDreamy all that much at the moment. Now, that doesn't mean I'm going to kill him off or make him a complete jerk, but I'm also not giving him the free pass he always seems to get on the show. Don't say I didn't warn you. If are one of those who think he can do no wrong, this might not be the story for you.

That said, I think this is a unique, entertaining story that should keep you interested throughout. There will be lots of twists and turns along the way as the story develops, so I hope you enjoy the ride!

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. I make no money. Struggling artist, remember? There'd be no struggling if I owned the show.

* * *

Meredith Grey was extremely confused. All around her she heard voices, doctors talking about treatment plans and surgeries, but she couldn't pick out any familiar voices.

_Why can't I open my eyes?_ Meredith wondered silently. _Why can't I talk?_

Somewhere in the jumble of voices, she managed to make out a few words. _Plane crash…internal bleeding…fractured vertebrae._ Whoever they were talking about, Meredith knew enough to recognize that when you could hear the fear in a doctor's voice, it was either an intern talking or the patient was in really bad shape. And judging by the tone of voice, she guessed that this was no intern she was hearing.

_But who are they talking about? Is it my patient?_

Slowly, Meredith managed to crack open one of her eyes. Bright lights, white walls, bustling activity. Yes, the room certainly looked like an ER trauma room. But something was off.

_Where's Dr. Bailey? Where's Cristina?_

A plane crash – and judging by the tone of the doctor's voice, a rather serious one – but no Bailey barking orders or Cristina trying to snag a surgery to scrub in on? Something was very wrong with what Meredith was seeing.

_Why don't I know these nurses?_ Meredith didn't pretend to know all the nurses personally, especially the trauma nurses, but she certainly would have thought she could at least recognize most of them.

_Wait…whose interns are these?_ As a second year resident, Meredith knew almost all of the surgical interns. A plane crash surely would get surgical interns, but she didn't recognize any of the faces peering down at her.

_Hold it right there…why are they looking at me? Do they expect me to tell them what to do? They aren't my interns! And why are they looking down…_

_Damn it…_

Realization gradually washed over Meredith, hitting her like a ton of bricks and sending her mind into overdrive.

_I'm the patient?_

…_no, it can't be._ Meredith's eyes darted around the room, looking for something – anything – that would tell her she was wrong. Nothing.

Meredith quickly began running through what she remembered of her day. Izzie dragging her out of bed. Alex kicking out her latest one night stand.

_I've got to thank Alex for that later,_ she reminded herself. _That guy was sort of creepy once I sobered up._

What next? Going to the hospital. Getting yelled at by Bailey. Avoiding McBastard. Eating lunch with the group. Gagging at McBastard and the slutty scrub nurse kissing at the nurses' station. Letting McSteamy flirt with her to get back at him. Going to the bar – not Emerald City, though, because she couldn't go there without running into them. It was too bad, really, because her new bartender just wasn't as nice as Joe.

_Overall, a moderately crappy day,_ she thought ruefully. _Definitely no plane crash, though._

_So what the hell am I doing here? And where is everyone else?_ She tried to speak again, to voice her confusion, but still no sounds came out.

"Miss? Miss, can you hear me?" The blonde woman currently hovering over Meredith asked eagerly.

_Yes, damn it! I can hear you! And that's Dr. Grey to you!_ Meredith tried to scream, but the words were only in her head.

"Miss, please don't try to speak," the blonde woman tried to calm Meredith. "You have a tube in your throat to help you breathe. Just nod if you can hear me."

Slowly and painfully, Meredith managed to move her head in acknowledgement before the room began to fade. As she felt herself slipping away, she vaguely heard the blonde woman mutter something about getting Jane Doe to surgery.

* * *

"Meredith? Meredith, are you in there?"

Izzie Stevens slowly opened her roommate's door, fully expecting to find Meredith in bed with yet another bar pick-up. Ever since her most recent breakup with McDreamy…wait, no, he was McBastard these days…she seemed to be reverting back to her old habits of drinking too much tequila and sleeping with a series of inappropriate men.

Surprisingly, though, Izzie found no man in Meredith's room that morning. Unfortunately, she also found no Meredith. The sloppily made bed indicated that Meredith had not been there since the previous morning.

"Damn," Izzie muttered as she headed down to the kitchen.

"Good thing it's Meredith's day off," she commented as she grabbed a muffin.

"Why? I didn't hear a guy last night," Alex Karev responded, pouring a cup of coffee for himself.

"Only because she didn't come home last night," Izzie said, concern in her voice.

"Well, at least it gave us a break," Alex said. "Honestly, Iz, I don't think I can handle too many more mornings with strange guys in this kitchen. Yesterday's guy almost broke my hand in the door, and I need these hands!"

"I know, I know," Izzie sighed. "C'mon, we're going to be late. We'll talk to Meredith tonight."

* * *

Things were coming back to Meredith in bits and pieces now. The memories were hazy, though, almost as if she had dreamed them.

"_You really like your tequila, don't you?"_

_Meredith looked up from her row of shot glasses to see a familiar young man standing next to her. Name…name…she knew she was supposed to remember his name. Who was he? Must be another one-night stand. Why didn't these guys ever understand the 'one-night' part of one-night stand?_

"_What do you care?" Meredith was grumpy, despite the five shots she'd already downed, and in no mood to talk to anyone that night._

"_I'm just saying, I know where we could get some pretty great tequila."_

_Ryan…yes, that was his name. Ryan. She'd picked him up last week. Mr. Friday._

_"Where?" she asked, her defenses dropping as she found herself finally playing along with his advances._

As she snapped out of her memory, Meredith began shaking in her hospital bed.

"Miss…miss, calm down. It's okay," a pretty brunette nurse assured her.

_Why does no one use my name?_ Meredith desperately wanted to ask questions, but quickly realized that she was intubated. Resigned to her silence, she quietly looked around the room, taking in her surroundings.

_Something is very off about this,_ Meredith thought. _This really doesn't look like one of our rooms._

"Miss? Do you know where you are?"

Meredith slowly shook her head. The nurse started to answer her, but before her brain could process what she was hearing, she found herself slipping once again into blackness.

* * *

"Meredith!" Izzie stood at the bottom of the stairs, screaming for her friend. "Meredith Grey, we are going to be late! I don't care if you're hung over again, you need to get your butt out of bed and get down here!"

"Dude, Iz, stop your yelling. She's not up here," snapped a very grumpy and tired Alex as he trudged past Izzie into the kitchen.

"Well, where the hell is she?" Izzie asked in concern.

"Beats me. I don't think she came home last night," Alex shrugged.

"What?! That's two nights in a row, Alex. You don't think something happened, do you?" Izzie asked, the concern in her voice quickly escalating to panic.

"Relax. Meredith's a grown woman," Alex assured her. "She probably just had an extended sleepover with one of her rebound boys. We'll see her drag herself into the locker room soon."

"She wouldn't…"

"Want to bet? Twenty bucks says she got drunk, had inappropriate sex and comes in totally hung over," Alex said, laughing to himself.

"Well, it sure is nice to know you have confidence in our friend," Izzie said sarcastically.

"Oh come on, Izzie. A tiger doesn't change its stripes. Not that I blame her this time. If anyone deserves some comfort sex, it's Meredith. She's had to put up with Shepherd parading that scrub nurse around the hospital for over a month. Of course, everything would be so much easier if she'd just let me kick his ass…"

"You may be right. But still, I'm worried, Alex."

"Chill out, Iz. And hurry up, we don't want Bailey yelling at us for being late again."


	2. Meredith?

**A/N:** This chapter and some others throughout the course of this story may be a tiny bit crossover-ish with Private Practice. It has been quite a while since I watched an episode of Private Practice, so I apologize if any of those characters seem out of character. They aren't really integral to the story, though, so I didn't feel it necessary to spend huge amounts of time with them.

Also, I would really appreciate it if you guys could leave a review to let me know how you are liking the story - I'm eager to learn what people like or dislike so that I can improve this and future stories. Thank you!

**Disclaimer: **Once again, none of these characters belong to me. Sadness.

* * *

"Yang, you'll be assisting Dr. Hahn today."

"Sweet, cardio!" Cristina exclaimed, clearly pleased.

"Stevens, with Sloan."

"Better not ask for coffee or I'll kick his ass," muttered Izzie.

"Karev, with Shepherd."

"If the slut nurse comes along, I will kick his ass," Karev mumbled under his breath. He'd never openly show it at the hospital, but he was just as pissed as the other residents were at Derek Shepherd for leaving Meredith for Rose.

"Grey, you're covering the pit."

Miranda Bailey glanced up from her clipboard, surprised to not hear any grumbling from Meredith Grey, only to realize that the resident was not actually there.

"Where the hell is Grey?"

Dr. Bailey stood with her hands on her hips, glaring at her former interns, all of whom were immediately professing not to know anything at all about Meredith Grey's whereabouts.

"Well, one of you suck-ups better find her and tell her that if she's not dead or bleeding now, she will be when I get through with her!" She paused for effect, taking one final look at the residents. "Well, what are you waiting for? Engraved invitations? Go!!"

And with that, the residents scrambled off to their assignments.

"Where is she?" Cristina hissed to Izzie and Alex.

"Beats me," Alex shrugged. "Sleeping off her hangover, probably."

"Alex! You know she wouldn't miss a shift!" Izzie cried as she smacked him hard on his arm. "I really think something is wrong."

"Hey Stevens, you coming? Or are you getting my coffee first?" Mark Sloan hollered from down the hall.

"Somebody please call her!" Izzie pleaded, before hurrying off down the hall to find Sloan and her interns.

Cristina pulled out her phone, but was interrupted by Dr. Hahn, leaving Alex to make the call.

As he expected, he heard five rings and was sent straight to voicemail. "Grey, you better have had one hell of a night last night, because Bailey's going to have your ass when you get here. Which had better be soon, or Izzie's going to call the cops. Hope the hangover's worth it!"

"Very professional, Alex," George chastised, coming up from behind.

"Oh please," Alex rolled his eyes. "Shouldn't you be on scut work somewhere, O'Malley?"

* * *

It took Meredith a while to process that the aching in her body was not the result of a particularly bad hangover. Although her eyes remained closed, the smells around her told her she was at least near an OR.

By now, it was safe to say Meredith was officially scared. She had yet to hear a single familiar voice or see a friendly face. She kept expecting to hear Cristina begging her to wake up, or Bailey yelling at her for the extra work she was creating by being injured. Heck, at this point she'd even settle for Mark Sloan asking about his favorite dirty mistress.

To make matters worse, the memories flooding her mind were becoming painfully more recent.

_There were flames flickering all around her. Meredith felt pain everywhere, every bone in her body felt crushed. The only reassuring thought she could muster was that if she felt pain, it meant she wasn't paralyzed._

_Turning her head, she gasped when saw Ryan lying nearby, his limp body bloody and mangled._

"_Ryan? Ryan!" Meredith screamed, over and over, but he didn't respond. His chest wasn't moving, and she knew that even if she could get over to him, she'd find that he had no pulse._

_A powerful smell suddenly overwhelmed her senses, something she couldn't quite place at first but which she knew she would be forever seared into her memory: the scent of burning jet fuel._

_Meredith didn't stop to think. She wasn't scared. She wasn't sad. She didn't let herself stop to feel the pain ripping through her body. She was just doing. No thinking, no feeling, just doing._

_Moving as quickly as she could, she pushed off the wreckage that was pinning her down. She tried to stand, but found her legs uncooperative. Pulling herself with her arms, forcing her legs to assist in any way they could, she crawled away as quickly as she could._

_Suddenly, she heard a deafening roar and felt a searing sensation overtake her body, and then everything went black once again._

A familiar voice pulled her out of her painful memories. She fought to open her eyes, but once again found her body unresponsive to her brain's demands.

"Meredith?"

She struggled to place the soothing female voice. Not Bailey. Not Cristina. Not Izzie. Not even Callie. Why did she know this voice?

* * *

"Dr Stevens, are you paying attention? Perhaps you'd rather go sit in an on-call room and day dream if this facial reconstruction isn't up to your standards of interest?" Dr. Sloan asked as he stopped his explanation of the procedure he was preparing to perform.

"I'm sorry, Dr. Sloan. I am interested. I'm just worried about Meredith," Izzie said distractedly.

"Why?" Mark asked curiously. "What'd Shepherd do to her this time?"

"Nothing, as far as I know," Izzie said. "It's just...well, I don't know where she is. She had yesterday off, but I don't think she ever came home. She wasn't there this morning, and now she didn't show up for her shift today. I just have this feeling, like something bad has happened."

"I'm sure she'll show up, Stevens. She always does," Sloan tried to reassure her, although his tone conveyed much more concern than he had intended or even expected.

* * *

Addison Montgomery was not happy. It was 8am, but instead of just getting back from her morning run on the beach, she had spent the last five hours standing in the OR at St. Ambrose Hospital, all because Charlotte King hated her.

Okay, perhaps she was really there because a patient of hers was in a car crash while six months pregnant. But there was absolutely nothing wrong with the baby. She had been called in at the crack of dawn to simply stand there and monitor the baby's vitals during surgery.

_Charlotte must really hate me,_ she mused as she headed out of the OR. _An intern could have just as easily covered that surgery. But no, Charlotte King has to get up on her high horse about her being "one of yours." That woman definitely has it in for me. The least she could have done is give me something that involved me doing a little cutting._

Suddenly, Addison was met with a sight that made her stop dead in her tracks. The doors to the next OR over had opened, and Charlotte King and a nurse wheeled out a gurney with a young woman on it.

"Are you sure she had no ID?" Charlotte asked.

"Yes, Dr. King."

"And there's still no clue as to who she is?"

"No, Dr. King," the nurse said timidly. "The police have checked every lead. They can't find anyone matching her description with any connection to the pilot or the plane's owner."

Charlotte King sighed heavily. "Alright, well, whoever she is, get her stable and we'll try to transfer her over to County. No way are we spending any more resources than we have to on her without knowing if she's even insured."

At that moment, Charlotte looked up to find Addison Montgomery staring at her. Or rather, to be more precise, staring through her, her eyes seemingly fixed on the young woman lying on the gurney. Annoyed, Charlotte strode over, stopping nearly in front of Addison.

"Dr. Montgomery?"

Getting no response, she waved her hand in front of Addison's face.

"Dr. Montgomery? Did you come here just to stare at my Jane Doe? Your patient is down the hall."

"My God," Addison muttered in a voice so soft Charlotte King barely heard her. It had taken her several moments to process what she was seeing. The young woman's face was badly bruised and burned, but Addison was certain that she'd know her anywhere.

"Excuse me?" Charlotte King wanted answers, and was frustrated that Addison was ignoring her.

Addison pushed past Charlotte and walked straight to the patient's side. As Charlotte hurried over behind her, now thoroughly confused, she saw Addison take the young woman's hand in hers.

Finally, after what seemed like ages to Charlotte, Addison spoke one word.

"Meredith?"


	3. Introducing Meredith Grey

**A/N: **Thank you to everyone who has been reading this, signing up for alerts and an extra special thank you to those of you have been good enough to leave reviews! You all are awesome! If you guys have any specific questions that you think need answering in the story, please let me know in a review – it helps me to know what details you all want to know, and which aren't as important. Even if you don't have questions, reviews are still always welcome - thanks!

This chapter is a little bit Addison-centric, but it is necessary to move the story along, and we will see much more of our friends at SGH in the coming chapters.

**Disclaimer:** Nope, nothing has changed. Still own nothing...

* * *

_Addison. What the hell is Addison doing here?_

Hearing Addison conversing with another woman, it dawned on Meredith for the first time that maybe this wasn't her hospital. Maybe – just maybe – she was not at Seattle Grace. But if not Seattle, where? Exactly how far did she get in that plane? Where were they going in the first place?

_Where the hell am I?_

She tried again to open her eyes, feeling that if she could just see Addison, see who she was talking to, maybe something would tell her what was going on.

* * *

Addison turned to look at Charlotte King, who for the first time noted the look of fear in her eyes.

"Charlotte, what happened to her?"

"A private plane crashed a few miles outside of town night before last. She was the only survivor."

"Wait, if she's been here for over twenty-four hours, why is alone? Where are her friends? Derek should be here, Yang should be here…" Addison's voice trailed off as she caught the expression of shock on Charlotte's face.

"Dr. Montgomery, do you know who this woman is?"

Addison just nodded numbly.

"Well thank goodness!" Charlotte exclaimed. "The pilot and two other passengers on board the plane were killed instantly. The police were able to identify the pilot and the two deceased passengers based on the plane's registration, but not this patient. Unfortunately, she doesn't seem to be any relative of the owners or the pilot, and any identification she might have had was destroyed in the crash."

Addison reached out and grabbed the chart Charlotte had set down on the end of the bed as Meredith was wheeled into a recovery room. Charlotte started to protest – it was, after all, confidential information – but the fact that Addison seemed to have the only clue to this woman's identity forced her to hold back.

Addison had to fight back tears as she read the lengthy list of injuries Meredith had sustained. Broken ribs, fractured vertebrae, sixty-five broken bones in all. Internal bleeding. Ruptured spleen. Kidney damage. Third degree burns.

_Good God,_ Addison thought to herself. There was a time when she had wished Meredith would just disappear, when she had wanted Meredith out of her life once and for all. That time, however, had long since passed, and before she left Seattle, she had actually found herself developing a certain fondness for Meredith. Not that they were best friends, but Addison would have liked to think that they were at least friendly, if not actual friends.

"Dr. Montgomery, it would be very helpful if you could share any information you might have on this patient." Charlotte's patience was running low.

"Oh. Right." Addison stuttered, wiping a tear from her eye. "Sorry, of course. What do you need to know?"

Charlotte motioned for a nurse to come over with the patient information form. "Sarah, what do we need to know?"

"Well, her name would be a nice start," Sarah stated, amused that the two world-class doctors couldn't figure that out without assistance.

"Meredith Grey."

"Age?"

"Um…I'm not sure. Around 30, I think."

"So I'm assuming you don't know date of birth?" Sarah asked.

"Sorry, no."

"Alright, let's see, what else? Oh yes, next of kin?"

"Well, I guess there's her father…although I'm pretty sure they're not on speaking terms…I know she's got at least one sister, but I don't think they speak either. You know what? Just leave that one blank. I'll call her family." Addison knew exactly which "family" Meredith would want called.

"Very well," Sarah said, making a note on the form. "When you do get a hold of them, be sure to inform them that we need next of kin here in person to give consent for some of her treatments."

* * *

"Dr. Bailey, may I have another resident?" Derek Shepherd cautiously approached Miranda Bailey, having been warned by Rose that the Chief Resident was in a particularly foul mood that day.

"Karev kick your heartbreaking ass already, Dr. Shepherd?" Dr. Bailey asked an astonished Derek. Ever since he had taken up with Rose, Derek had noticed a significant increase in hostility towards him from most of the interns, residents and even some nurses, but no one was more forthright with their disgust than Miranda Bailey.

"What?" Derek stammered. "No, I mean I need an additional resident for my surgery this afternoon. I was hoping that…um…well, I was hoping that you could give me Meredith?"

Bailey sighed, placing her files at the nurse's station and turning to face Derek, hands on both her hips.

"And just why would I want to do that? Even if Grey hadn't chosen today of all days to be MIA, I most certainly would not be assigning her to your case! You have hurt her enough, broken her into small enough pieces. How dark and twisty do you really need to make her before you learn to just back off, Shepherd? Eventually I will have to start assigning her to you, but only – and I mean this – only when I feel she is ready. Fact that she didn't even bother to show up today tells me she is most definitely not ready."

"Wait, what do you mean she's MIA? Where'd she go?"

"You can't be as stupid as you act, right? M. I. A. What the hell do you think the 'M' stands for? If I knew where she was, it sure as hell wouldn't stand for missing! Now back off before I make you sorry. I don't have any spare residents for you. Take O'Malley and one of Grey's other interns. That should cover you. Now go away before I change my mind."

"Change your mind?"

"About not kicking your ass today, Shepherd. Go!"

He thought about replying, reminding her that in spite of everything, he was still her boss, but the look in her eyes told him she was definitely not joking. He sighed and walked away to get the interns.

* * *

"Charlotte?" Addison asked tentatively. "Would it be alright if I stayed here with her today? I don't want her to be alone…her, um, family wouldn't want her to be alone."

"I suppose that would be alright. We do have fairly strict protocols concerning visitors, but since you do have surgical privileges, I think we can make an exception."

The two women stood by Meredith's bedside in silence for several minutes while Addison studied every detail of Meredith's chart, trying to find some way in which she could help her.

"Charlotte?" she finally asked. "She can't be transferred, right?"

"Correct. She isn't stable enough for transport. Although now that we've identified her, I assume she has insurance, so it shouldn't be an issue."

"I wasn't thinking about money, Charlotte," Addison snapped. "I was thinking about her treatment. You don't exactly have the best plastics department here. Who were you planning on having do the skin grafts?"

"That hasn't been decided yet. I have a call in to Reynolds over at County and Myers at Cedar Sinai."

"No," Addison shook her head. "I've seen Reynolds work; he's sloppy and couldn't care less about his patients. And Myers is a nice woman, but she's barely out of her residency."

"Excuse me? You think you can get someone better at the drop of a hat?"

"Yes."

"Who?"

"Mark Sloan."

"Dr. Montgomery, the surgery needs to be done tomorrow. Mark Sloan doesn't even live in this state. You can't just pick up the phone and have the best plastic surgeon in the country drop everything and fly hundreds of miles for some random patient."

"Correction, Charlotte," Addison couldn't help but smirk as she said this, "you cannot just pick up the phone and do that. I can, and I will. Consider it done."

"Right," Charlotte said in a tone indicating that she seriously doubted Mark Sloan would be setting foot in Los Angeles anytime soon. "You do that. I'll keep those calls in to Myers and Reynolds, just in case. Not that it really will make much difference. Your friend Ms. Grey probably won't make it through the first surgery."

"No." Charlotte was shocked by Addison's straightforward reply. "Charlotte, this is not some random patient. This is a woman who stood for hours with her hand on a bomb – a real, honest to goodness bomb – in an OR in order to keep it from exploding. A woman who was technically dead for nearly four hours after drowning, but who kept fighting and somehow pulled through. She has put up with more crap in the last two years than most people deal with in a lifetime, and she has survived. She is a strong woman and a talented surgeon. She may be in bad shape, but I refuse to accept that Meredith Grey is anything other than a fighter, and she will pull through this. She has too much to live for!"

"Very well. Just try not to give the family unreasonable hope." And with that, Charlotte left the room, leaving Addison alone with Meredith.

* * *

Addison took Meredith hand in hers, carefully avoiding the burns that extended all the way down her arm to the middle of her palm. Leaning over, she spoke to her in a soft voice.

"Okay Meredith, you really do seem to have a knack for finding trouble, don't you? You'd better pull through this, if only to wipe that smug look off of Charlotte King's face, do you hear me? I'm going to call Richard, and then you know that everyone will be pulling for you. Hell, he'll probably have to fight to keep the whole hospital from flying down here. I'm sure Derek must be worried sick about you by now, and…"

Addison was startled when Meredith's breathing monitor began beeping rapidly, as though Meredith had taken a sudden, sharp breath when she heard Derek's name.

"Okay, enough talk for the moment. Just stay calm, Meredith, and keep on fighting. I'm going to make a few phone calls, so if you hear my voice, that's what it is. I'll still be right hear the whole time."

Keeping one hand locked with Meredith's, Addison swiftly pulled out her cell phone. She knew her first call would be the only easy one she'd make that day.

"Hey Naomi, it's Addison…Yes, I know I'm supposed to be at the clinic…Naomi, I don't think I can make it in today…No, I'm not sick, but a friend of mine is in the hospital and I need to stay with her today…No, she's unconscious right now, so she didn't ask me to…No, her family is in Seattle. It's going to be a while before they can get here…No, I don't think she knows anyone else in L.A., and I can't just leave her here alone…Thanks Naomi, I appreciate it…Okay, bye."

It took Addison many minutes of staring at her phone to work up the strength to make her next call.

"Seattle Grace Hospital, how may I direct your call?" came the voice on the other end of the line.

"I need to speak with Richard Webber, please."


	4. One Call

**A/N:** Thank you all for the wonderful reviews! I tried to respond to as many of them as possible, but if I didn't, I just want to say thank you! Reviews make me so happy!

In this chapter, there will be a more detailed description of Meredith's injuries. I just want to put it out there that I don't have anything against Meredith, so please don't think that when you read this. I'm merely trying to be realistic about what someone who actually survived a crash like hers might experience, because really, most people don't even survive crashes like that, so for her to walk away unscathed would be a bit too unrealistic for me.

**Disclaimer:** I'm still waiting, but as of now, nope, I still own nothing...

* * *

An exhausted Miranda Bailey walked out of surgery and over to the nurses' station. One look at her overly busy residents told her that she was still missing one. She stepped into the relative privacy of the nearest on-call room, pulled out her cell phone and dialed again.

"Meredith Grey, you better have a damn good reason for being…" There was a brief pause as Bailey glanced at her watch and did some quick calculations. "…six hours late for your shift! You'd better be bloody when I see you, Grey, very sick or very bloody. You can't pull crap like this if you expect to cut it as a surgeon. Get your ass into this hospital now, or no surgeries for a month!"

Bailey slammed the phone closed and tried to steel herself to go back out and pretend, for the sake of her residents, that she was not worried sick about Meredith Grey.

She marched straight past the nurses' station, pausing for a moment to answer a few questions from some clueless interns. She then continued on, a woman on a mission, not stopping until she had marched straight into Chief Webber's office, completely bypassing his bewildered secretary.

"Chief!"

"Dr. Bailey," Richard Webber replied cautiously. Visits like these usually did not end well for him. "What can I do for you today?"

"Chief, Meredith Grey is missing."

Webber's ears perked at the sound of Meredith's name. "What do you mean, she's missing?"

"Sir, I mean that she isn't at her house, she isn't anywhere in the hospital, she isn't at the bar, her shift started six hours ago, I can't reach her on her cell phone, her pager was sitting in the bottom of her locker. Last time anyone saw her was night before last. Yesterday was her day off, but Stevens and Karev aren't sure she ever came home."

"What do you suggest we do, Miranda?" The fact that Dr. Bailey was worried automatically worried Chief Webber.

"Well, Chief, I don't want to do anything overly dramatic, since I suppose it is always possible that she's just skipping work, but I think it might be a good idea if we called the police."

"You really want to bring law enforcement into this?"

"No, but I don't think we have a choice, sir. I can't shake the feeling that something bad has happened."

"Alright," Webber sighed, knowing Bailey was right. He was reaching for the phone, about to call the police, but was stopped when the phone rang first.

"Chief Webber," he answered, intending to brush the caller aside quickly. He paused when he heard the voice on the other end of the line. There was a brief pause on the other end before the caller spoke.

"Richard? This is Addison Montgomery."

"Addison…I'm sorry, I really can't talk now, we've got a situation here. Can I call you back?"

"Looking for Meredith Grey?"

"How did you know…" his voice trailed off after this last question as his eyes grew wide and he motioned for Bailey to sit.

"I'm sitting right next to her."

"Hold on, Addison, Dr. Bailey is here as well, so let me put you on speaker."

"Miranda? Can you hear me?" Addison's voice rung out from the phone.

"Yes, I can hear you."

"Good. I understand that you are looking for Meredith Grey. I think I can help with that."

"You know where she is?" Bailey was incredulous. Why would Addison Montgomery, ex-wife of Meredith's now ex-boyfriend, know where she was?

"Yes. She's right here, in L.A. I'm sitting with her as we speak."

"Damn fool girl. What the hell is she doing in Los Angeles?"

"I don't know exactly what her reasons for coming were," Addison said. "In fact, I don't think she was actually intending to come to Los Angeles. She was in a plane crash night before last, and she is now at St. Ambrose Hospital."

"Night before last?" Richard asked, finally breaking his silence. "Do you mean to tell me that Meredith has been in the hospital for a day and a half and this is the first we are hearing of it? Why weren't we called?"

"Richard, up until a few hours ago, she was a Jane Doe," Addison explained. "Any identification that she might have had was either destroyed in the crash or is still out there among the wreckage. The only reason she isn't still a Jane Doe is that, by some coincidence, I was called here this morning for a patient, and happened to be walking by when they were taking Meredith out of surgery."

"Addison, what exactly is her condition? Has she not been awake at all?" Bailey asked, although she wasn't quite sure she wanted to hear the answer.

"According to the nurses, she was conscious briefly right after her arrival," Addison said. "Since then, she's drifted in and out, but she's never maintained consciousness for more than a minute or two. She's been intubated the whole time, so she hasn't been able to speak even when she is conscious."

"What exactly are her injuries?" Chief Webber asked, also unsure of whether he wanted to hear the answer.

"Well, there isn't really a way to make this sound any less horrible than it is. The good news, if there is any in this situation, is that she doesn't appear to have any significant neurological damage, although they won't know for sure until she wakes up. As for the rest of her body…" Addison's voice trailed off as she pondered the best way to describe Meredith's injuries.

"Addison, just say it. We need to know," Bailey reassured her.

"Okay," Addison took a breath and continued. "Most of her injuries are from the crash itself. She had severe internal bleeding when she came in. She's had three surgeries to repair the damage. Each time, they close her up and within a few hours another bleed shows up. It's been about six hours since her last surgery, so they are hopeful that this time they got it all. Her spleen was ruptured, so they removed that when she first came in. There was significant damage to one kidney, which also had to be removed. They've got her on dialysis as a precaution for now, but they believe that the second kidney is unharmed."

As Addison was speaking, Dr. Bailey had to cover her mouth with her hands to keep from crying out, but even she couldn't maintain enough composure to prevent a few tears from trickling down her cheeks.

"The orthopedic damage is also significant. She appears to have, at last count, sixty-five bone fractures. Her right leg was basically shattered. The surgeon did all that he could to repair it, but they'll most likely need to amputate it in a few days."

At this, Chief Webber slumped back in his chair, covering his face with his hands.

"There are a number of other internal injuries, but those are the most significant. There are also…"

Bailey interrupted impatiently. "You said most of her injuries were from the crash. What else happened, Addison?"

Although they couldn't see her, it was almost as though they could hear Addison cringe as she thought about what she had to say.

"After the crash, well, the fuel tank ignited." Addison paused as she heard the horrified gasps of her former colleagues, who knew full well what that meant. "It took about fifteen minutes for the flames to reach the tank. Somehow, in that time Meredith managed to get free from the wreckage and get some distance between her and the crash site. If she hadn't, the fire would surely have killed her. Unfortunately, there's only so far she could get with her injuries. She still sustained third degree burns to about seventy percent of her body."

"Oh God," Bailey practically whimpered.

"Richard, that actually brings up something I'd like to discuss with you," Addison continued.

"What is it, Addison?" Richard's voice was shaking as he tried to regain his composure.

"Well, St. Ambrose isn't exactly known for its plastics department. Charlotte King, the chief of staff here, intends to call in a plastic surgeon from another local hospital. They need to do the first skin grafts tomorrow, which I know is short notice. But Richard, she needs the best if she's going to pull through this, and for non-cosmetic procedures, you won't find the best here. I was hoping you might be able to send Mark down for a few weeks to do the work himself."

"Is there any way she could be transferred up here?" Bailey asked hopefully.

"No. I wish she could be, because I know Seattle Grace is home for her. But at this point, even transferring her to another local hospital would be too risky. She's just not stable enough."

"I'll get Sloan on the first plane down," Richard assured her. "Do you need anyone else?"

"Next of kin. There are a number of procedures the surgeons feel are necessary, but most of them require consent. I really don't know who Meredith's next of kin is, but they need someone to sign the forms."

"Right. I'll put Cristina Yang on the plane with Sloan," Richard said.

"Yang, sir? Don't we need a blood relative?" Bailey asked the chief.

"No, Yang has Meredith's medical power of attorney. Meredith had the paperwork drawn up after the ferry accident. It should be in her file here. I think, however, that Lexie Grey should also go. Weren't she and Meredith getting closer recently?"

"I think that would be a good idea, sir. Even if she didn't go, I'm certain she'll be of no use to us here once she finds out." Bailey was dreading the mess she'd have on her hands, trying to keep her residents focused – heck, she knew she was going to have a hell of a time just keeping herself focused – when one of their own was lying in a hospital bed hundreds of miles away fighting for her life.

"Who is Lexie Grey?" Addison asked, confused.

"Meredith's half-sister. First year surgical intern," Bailey replied.

"Right. Um…I really don't think it's my place to make the call, so I trust that one of you will take care of letting Derek know? I assume that he'll want to come down with the rest of them."

Bailey and Dr. Webber exchanged nervous glances, realizing that Addison was woefully out of the hospital gossip loop.

Webber cleared his throat. "Right, well…I've got to go page Sloan, Yang and Grey. Dr. Bailey, why don't you stay on the line with Dr. Montgomery while I do that? I'll be right back." The chief quickly ducked out of the office.

"Damn coward," Bailey muttered under her breath.

"Miranda? Why do I feel like I'm missing something here? What's going on?" Addison was thoroughly confused. "I mean, Derek is her boyfriend after all."

"Not anymore."

"What? What happened?" Addison was floored by this news.

"He kissed a scrub nurse, they broke up and now he and said scrub nurse spend half of every day canoodling in the damn cafeteria. You'd think it was their personal hotel room. No one wants to see that."

"Wow...how'd Meredith take the break up?"

"Not well, not well at all," Bailey sighed. "I don't make a habit of listening to gossip, but it's been hard to ignore this time. Seems she finally told him she was ready to commit to a real relationship and he goes and makes out with a nurse."

"I think I'm going to kill him…" Addison's heart was breaking as she looked at the young woman lying before her, realizing now that she was broken in more ways than one.

"Don't bother. I thought we were going to have restrain Karev when the news first broke. Heck, even Sloan nearly clocked him one. At least he ended up with a new nickname."

"Oh?"

"McDreamy is now officially McBastard. Outside of strictly professional interactions, half the hospital won't speak to him, the other half just yell at him."

"I can't believe it…he swore he would never hurt her!"

"Yeah, well, I'm a little cynical on the whole men thing right now, so don't get me started. Knowing your ex, he's going to try to worm his way onto this little L.A. expedition anyway. I want you to promise me: if he shows up, don't let him in. He's broken her one too many times; this time, he doesn't get another chance to do it again, not on my watch."

"Don't worry, Miranda, he wouldn't be allowed in here anyway. They are unbelievably strict with visitors in this hospital. I think it has something to do with the fact that they handle a lot of high-profile patients. You can't get off the elevator in ICU without a pass from the front desk, that's how bad it is."

* * *

Mark Sloan was finishing up his facial reconstruction when the first pager went off.

"Olivia, check that pager for me, would you honey?"

Olivia glared at him, as the nurses often did when spoken to by the now notorious Dr. Sloan, before heading over to the table where the doctors had placed their pagers.

"Well? Whose pager is it?"

"It's yours, Dr. Sloan," Olivia said. "It says you are to report to the chief's office immediately."

_Damn, what did I do now? This is like being called to the principal's office in high school,_ Mark thought.

"Alright, well we're nearly done here. Stevens, would you mind closing?"

"Sure, Dr. Sloan," Izzie said.

"Okay then. Hope I'm not in trouble," Sloan laughed as he left the OR.

* * *

Two ORs away, Erica Hahn was in the middle of a bypass when a pager began ringing in her OR. She was more than a little annoyed.

"Would someone check the damn pagers?" Hahn snapped at the nurses.

"Dr. Yang, it's your pager. It says you are to report immediately to the chief's office," a nurse replied.

"What?" The thought of having to leave her first cardio surgery in weeks made Cristina beyond angry.

"Go, Dr. Yang," Dr. Hahn ordered coldly.

Before Cristina could make it out of the OR, another pager began going off.

"What the hell is going on today?" Hahn barked. "Who is it now?"

"Um, it looks like Dr. Grey's pager, ma'am," the nurse replied. "Same message as Dr. Yang received."

"Well, Dr. Grey, you'd better get going. Wouldn't want to keep the chief waiting."

Lexie and Cristina both begrudgingly left the OR, annoyed at being kicked out of a surgery and confused as to why they were being called to the chief so suddenly.

* * *

Miranda Bailey had just hung up with Addison Montgomery and was slumped down on the couch in the chief's office when Mark Sloan burst in.

"Okay, what did I do that was so bad that I had to be called out of a facial reconstruction?" he asked, looking around before realizing that the chief was not actually in the office.

"Dr. Bailey, where's the chief?"

"Sit down, Dr. Sloan. He'll be back soon. We still have to wait for Yang and Grey."

"Oh good, they found Grey?" Mark asked as he sat down.

"Not that Grey…Lexie," Bailey said, a hint of sadness in her voice.

"Oh. Still no word from Meredith?" Bailey was surprised to hear concern in Mark Sloan's voice.

"Just sit there and shut up, would you?" Bailey snapped at him.

At that moment, the door opened again and Cristina Yang and Lexie Grey walked in.

"Dr. Bailey? Where is the chief and why exactly were my intern and I pulled out of surgery?" Yang asked, clearly annoyed.

"I'm right behind you, Dr. Yang," Dr. Webber replied, entering the room behind her.

"Dr. Yang, Dr. Grey, please have a seat," the chief instructed as he closed the door behind him.

"Thank you all for coming," he continued as he took a seat behind his desk. "I know I pulled you all out of surgery, and I apologize. This is a matter of the utmost importance and could not wait." He paused for a moment, taking the faces before him, knowing that at least two of them were about to face one of the worst emotional experiences of their lives.

"Dr. Sloan, Dr. Yang and Dr. Grey, effective immediately the three of you are all on emergency leave from Seattle Grace Hospital."


	5. Defending Meredith

**A/N:** Okay, I couldn't leave you all hanging with the end of the last chapter for too long. So this chapter is pretty much equal parts SGH and L.A. I think the last scene here is my favorite thing I've ever written. Let me know what you think!

* * *

Richard Webber looked up at the shocked faces before him. He raised a hand to silence the protests all three were about to throw at him.

"The three of you will be on the 3:45 flight to Los Angeles this afternoon. That should give you just enough time after this meeting to go home, pack a few things and get to the airport. I have no idea how long you will be gone. You might only be there for a few days, but I hope that you will be there for several weeks."

"Chief, are you trying to get rid of me?" Sloan asked, half-jokingly.

"Dr. Sloan, if you are only gone a few days, it will be because the patient you are going to Los Angeles to operate on has died. If you are gone several weeks, it will be because she lives."

"Richard, why are you sending me with a resident and an intern? Attendings do consults, not residents and certainly not interns!" Mark was more confused than ever.

"Dr. Sloan, you will be the only one travelling to Los Angeles in a professional capacity. Dr. Yang and Dr. Grey will be accompanying you because of their personal connection to the patient."

"Sir, who exactly is this patient?" Yang asked, knowing in her heart that there was only one person who was that connected to both herself and Lexie Grey.

"The patient is Meredith Grey."

* * *

_"Where can I get this great tequila?" Meredith asked Ryan, not really curious but at the same time not really wanting to be left alone._

_Mexico."_

"_Mexico? Look Ryan, I am…not…drunk enough to go to Mexico with you," Meredith admonished, stumbling through her words._

"_Are you sure?"_

"_Well, even if I was, I wouldn't be by the time we got there."_

"_Makes sense. Although you're missing out. And you know, you only live once. What if you die and regret not going to Mexico? Once you're dead, you don't get a second chance."_

"_Not true. I've already been dead…I didn't mind it, thank you very much. Least then I wasn't a dirty mistress AND a jilted woman."_

_Ryan laughed, amused by her drunken confessions._

* * *

"Mer…Meredith?" Cristina asked in a shaky voice. "What happened to her?"

"She was involved in a plane crash the night before last. It appears she was the only survivor. She's still unconscious and up until this morning, she was an unidentified Jane Doe. They believe her identification must have been destroyed in the fire that followed the crash," the chief replied as calmly as he could.

"Are they sure its her then? I mean, if she's unconscious, then maybe they just have it wrong. She hasn't even been reported missing yet, so how would they know it was her? Maybe it isn't her…how do they know it's Meredith?" Lexie pleaded desperately, hoping against hope that a mistake had been made.

"I'm afraid not. Addison Montgomery identified her this morning."

"Addison?" Cristina and Mark exclaimed in shocked unison.

"Who?" Lexie asked.

"McBastard's ex-wife," Cristina explained to a shocked Lexie.

"Yes, Addison. She happened to be called to the hospital for a patient this morning and recognized Meredith as she was being taken out of surgery. Dr. Bailey and I have just finished speaking with her regarding Meredith's condition and her treatment. Addison will be staying with Meredith until you get there, in case she wakes up. None of us want her to be alone right now."

"Sir, what exactly is her condition?" Cristina asked hesitantly. "I mean, why do they need Dr. Sloan?"

"Her injuries are extensive, Dr. Yang, both internally and externally. Dr. Sloan is being called in because, in the fire after the crash, she sustained third degree burns and will require a difficult series of skin grafts. Addison and I discussed this, and we both agree that the plastic surgeons in Los Angeles, while perfectly competent, simply do not have the experience in this area that Dr. Sloan does. Dr. Sloan, I trust that you will be able to separate your personal connection to Meredith from your professional treatment?"

"Yes, of course," Mark replied, trying not to think about the damage he was going to see when he reached Los Angeles.

"Very well. Dr. Sloan, I would appreciate it if you would please call and update me with any changes in Meredith's condition during your stay. I had her chart faxed to me so that you can have the opportunity to review it on the flight. They would like to begin the skin grafts tomorrow morning." The chief handed a large stack of papers to Dr. Sloan, who couldn't yet bring himself to look at them.

"Dr. Yang, are you are aware that Meredith granted you medical power of attorney several months ago?" Yang nodded. "Good. I pulled the paperwork from her file. You'll need to take it with you when you go to Los Angeles. I understand that there are a number of treatment decisions that will need to be made upon your arrival." The chief paused as he handed a second, smaller stack of papers to Dr. Yang.

"Dr. Grey, I recognize that you and your sister have not known each other very long, but I have heard that you have gotten close in the last few months. I'm certain it would mean a lot to Meredith to know that you are there, which is why I am also sending you." Lexie just nodded, still trying to process the news she had just been given.

"Sir, what about Stevens and O'Malley and Karev?" Cristina asked.

"Dr. Yang, as much as I wish I could send everyone who cares about Meredith Grey, this hospital still needs to function, and it cannot do that if I send half the surgical staff to Los Angeles. I'm sorry."

"No, I understand. You still have a hospital to run. Will you…will you tell them, or should we find them before we leave?"

"I'll take care of it."

* * *

"Meredith? Meredith, can you hear me?"

_Addison again?_ Meredith struggled to keep her eyes open as the room around her slowly came into view and she locked eyes with the tall redhead. _Definitely Addison. What the hell is going on?_

Suddenly, Meredith became away of something in her throat, and she began coughing hard.

"Calm down, Meredith, you're still intubated. I'm going to get a nurse and we're going to get it out, okay? Just stay with me," Addison urged her as she motioned for a nurse to join her in the room.

"Okay, there we go…1…2…3…good, it's out. Try not to talk for a few minutes, Meredith, your throat is going to be very sore."

"Can we get some water in here?" Addison asked the nurse, who hurried off to get it.

"Too much…too much pain…" Meredith stammered.

"Shhh…" Addison tried her best to comfort her. "I know it hurts right now…you'll get through this, Meredith, you will. I'm going to go get your doctor, see if we can't up those pain meds now that you're awake, okay?"

* * *

As they left the chief's office, Cristina and Lexie found themselves agreeing on one thing.

"This is all McBastard's fault," they both stated authoritatively.

"How exactly is it his fault?" Mark asked, still in shock about what he had heard in the meeting.

"Well, if he hadn't run off to the nurse, she wouldn't be out drinking every night. I'll bet you anything she was drunk when she got on that plane," Lexie started.

"And," Cristina continued, "If he didn't take the little tart to Joe's every night, Meredith would have been drinking there and not at some other bar. Which means we would have been there to stop her from leaving."

"Of course, if he hadn't broken her, she wouldn't have been drinking in the first place," Lexie continued, getting angrier by the minute.

"So, what it all boils down to is that if she doesn't make it, we blame him," Cristina finished.

"I guess I see your point," Mark conceded, his face paling several shades when he looked up and saw none other than Derek and Rose walking down the hall towards them.

"Hey Mark, I heard you got called to the principal's office during surgery," Derek teased. "What did you do this time?"

"Just shut up, you bastard! This is all your fault!" Cristina screamed at him, drawing the attention of everyone in the corridor.

"What? What is my fault?" Derek threw his hands up in mock protest, not understanding what was going on.

"You broke her!" Cristina shouted again.

"Woah…is this about Meredith? Is she in trouble for skipping her shift today? Because I didn't do that to her; she needs to learn how to handle problems better. If she's too hung over to show up, that isn't my fault. She was probably too busy with one of her bar pick-ups. It isn't my fault if being a whore is the only way she can…"

_Crack!_

Derek's defense was interrupted by a fist slamming straight into his face. Everyone in the corridor stopped dead in their tracks and stared as Lexie Grey shook out her hand, tears streaming down her face.

"Don't you ever talk about my sister like that again, you jackass!" And with that, she stormed off, Cristina rushing after her.

"I hate to say it, Derek, but you kind of deserved that one. You really do have a knack for saying the wrong thing at the worst possible time," Mark told his friend, as he too rushed off to catch up to Cristina and Lexie, leaving Rose to tend to Derek.


	6. The Meeting

**A/N:** You are all so kind to leave such nice reviews! To answer the question I keep getting, I don't currently plan on having any major romantic pairings in this story, MerDer or otherwise. That may change later, but for now, the plan is mostly to be exploring the friendships the doctors share.

**Disclaimer:** Yeah, I still own nothing...

* * *

"Addison? Where am I?" Meredith looked around, not recognizing anything in her surroundings.

"Los Angeles. St. Ambrose Hospital. Meredith, do you remember anything about what happened?"

"Um…I remember being in a bar – please, no comments on that one – and then I remember screaming…lots of screaming, but not good screaming…I remember…oh God, I remember seeing Ryan lying there, not moving…and the smell, that awful burning smell…" Meredith broke down into desperate sobs as she recalled the horrific crash in her mind.

"Okay, that's enough for now," Addison smoothed Meredith's hair as she tried to stop her tears.

"Addison?"

"Yes, Meredith?"

"Why are you here? I mean, not that I'm upset you're here or anything, but why?"

"You've been in the hospital for a day and a half. You were listed as a Jane Doe. I came to consult on a patient from my practice, and happened to see them taking you out of surgery. I couldn't just leave you here alone."

"Oh. Well, thank you."

"I called Chief Webber a few hours ago. Everyone was very concerned about you – Bailey was ready to call the police when you missed your shift."

Meredith just grimaced as another wave of pain overtook her body.

"Meredith? Hang on, I'm going to give you another dose of painkillers."

* * *

"Dude, Izzie, did you hear?" Alex could hardly contain his glee at what he was about to share.

"Hear what?" Izzie really wasn't all that interested in what Alex had to say. She just wanted to drop off her charts at the nurses' station and go to sleep for a few hours.

"Lexie broke McBastard's nose."

"She _what_?!" Izzie burst out laughing, suddenly finding herself wide awake.

"I know, right? I've been waiting for someone to hit him, but I never thought it'd be her, though. I would've bet good money it would be Yang who finally whacked him one."

"I did bet good money on Yang!" Nurse Debbie grumbled as she appeared at the station. "Olivia's the only one who put any money on mini-Grey. I don't even want to think of how big her payout is!"

"Are you sure she broke his nose? I mean, like, with her fists?" Izzie still couldn't believe it.

"Saw it with my own eyes, Dr. Stevens. I heard him say something about Meredith being a whore…Yang was there too, and it looked like she was getting ready to clock him, but the next thing I knew, he was on the ground and Lexie was the one with blood on her fist. Besides," Debbie paused, lower her voice to a whisper, "take a look at him." Debbie pointed behind the two doctors.

Turning around, neither of them could control their laughter as Derek walked out of a nearby exam room, sporting a bandage on his nose and a large bruise just under his eye. He just glared at the residents and walked in the other direction.

The laughter was interrupted only by the beeping of both their pagers.

"Report to the chief's office? Oh God, you don't think this has something to do with Lexie, do you? She better not get kicked out for attacking an attending!" Izzie worried aloud.

"I'm sure everything's fine, Iz. Let's just go see what he wants," Alex replied, still chuckling over the sight of Derek's face.

* * *

The flight to Los Angeles was spent mostly in silence. Mark Sloan quickly read through Meredith's chart, trying to maintain his emotionless composure as the severity of her situation slowly sunk in.

_I can do this. I'm freaking Mark Sloan. Go-to plastic surgeon. I am a plastic surgery god. A gift to patients everywhere. I've done hundreds of these surgeries. This one is no different_, he repeated to himself over and over throughout the flight.

As the plane touched down, however, he couldn't stop himself from thinking the one thought he'd been pushing away.

_This surgery is no different…except for the fact that it is different. It's Meredith Grey._

* * *

Izzie and Alex rushed into the chief's office, surprised to find George already there, sitting uncomfortably across from Dr. Bailey and several department heads.

"Karev, Stevens, sit. We're still waiting for a few more people," Bailey instructed them, her usual hard edge notably absent from her voice.

After a few minutes, the chief returned to his office, but said nothing as he sat down behind his desk.

The room slowly began to fill up with surgeons. Erica Hahn showed up, followed closely by Sydney Heron and Callie Torres. Debbie, the head nurse, arrived not long after them. When Derek Shepherd finally entered the room, no one seemed to be able to take their eyes off his face. Before too long, the head of every surgical department, as well as several other high-ranking residents, were crammed into the chief's office. A quick look around told Izzie and Alex that they weren't the only ones with no idea why they were there.

* * *

Cristina Yang read every word of Meredith's chart at least twice. She couldn't believe this was her person she was reading about.

_God, yesterday I would have killed to be reading a chart like this. I mean, this would have been a great case to scrub in on. But Meredith? Why does it always have to be Meredith?_

She barely noticed as the tears began to silently fall as she reread the file for the third time.

* * *

"I'm sure you are all wondering why you have been called here on such short notice," Chief Webber began. "I'm sorry to have interrupted your surgical schedules, but I'm afraid I have some bad news to share with you regarding one of our residents."

As soon as the chief mentioned a resident, one of Izzie's hands flew to her mouth as the other grabbed Alex's arm.

"This is going to be a very difficult situation for the hospital. I know many of you are going to be worried, as will many of your residents, interns and other subordinates, but I am going to have to ask you to please try to remain focused on your work and know that everything that can be done, is being done."

Hearing the fear and desperation in the chief's voice, Alex knew that only one resident could evoke that kind of emotion in the chief of surgery. He quickly wrapped his arm Izzie, silently berating himself for not having been more concerned about Meredith.

"This morning, I received a call from a colleague at St. Ambrose Hospital in Los Angeles. The night before last, a private plane crashed just outside the city. The sole survivor of that crash, currently in critical condition at St. Ambrose, is Meredith Grey."

* * *

By the time Meredith's chart finally made its way into Lexie Grey's hands, she barely felt the need to read it. Mark Sloan and Cristina Yang were both excellent at concealing their emotions, so the fact that she could read the fear in both their faces told her more than any chart ever could. Nevertheless, she quickly scanned the information to prepare herself for what she might see when she arrived at the hospital.

_Life hates me. Why else would this happen? I'm finally getting close to my sister, and this happens? I mean, we were making progress…at least, I thought we were making progress. Oh God, what if she doesn't want to see me? What if all that progress was just in my head? What if she still hates me?_

Lexie tried to shake the negativity from her mind.

_Should I call Dad? No, she definitely hates him. Look at what happened the last time she saw him. Should I call Molly? Does Meredith even know about Molly?_

* * *

"As much as I wish we could bring Dr. Grey back home to Seattle Grace, at this point, that is just not possible. Her condition is extremely delicate, and she is not stable enough for transport. I have already made arrangements with the chief of staff at St. Ambrose that as soon as Dr. Grey is stable enough, she will be flown here to Seattle Grace."

Derek Shepherd sank lower against the wall he was leaning on. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. His Meredith? In a plane crash? Was this what Cristina meant when she said it was all his fault?

"The next few days will be extremely important in determining Dr. Grey's eventual prognosis. In the meantime, I expect all of you to continue your work as scheduled. Before anyone asks, none of you will be granted leave to travel to Los Angeles."

George O'Malley was in shock. He could feel the tears welling up in his eyes, but all he wanted to do was scream. This couldn't be happening. Not again. Not to Meredith. He could feel Callie sitting next to him, looking at him, but all he could do was stare at the chief, silently praying this one big joke.

"I repeat. No one in this room is to go to Los Angeles. Not only do I need each and every one of you here for the hospital to run smoothly, I do not need a dozen surgeons putting unnecessary pressure on the staff at St. Ambrose, who will be working tireless to help Dr. Grey. I have every confidence that she will be receiving the best care possible."

Callie Torres couldn't quite figure out what she was feeling. She and Meredith weren't really friends, but they had tried. Meredith deserved better than this. She turned to look at her estranged husband, finding him looking lost and scared in a way she had never seen before. She felt helpless – even though he had hurt her more than she had thought possible, she still loved him. Doing the only thing she could think of to do, she silently slipped her hand into his and squeezed gently.

"Additionally, you should all be aware that Mark Sloan has already left for Los Angeles to assist with Dr. Grey's treatment. Additionally, Cristina Yang and Lexie Grey have been placed on emergency leave and sent to Los Angeles to be with Dr. Grey during her recovery. The exact length of their leave has not yet been determined, but I anticipate that all three will stay until such time as Dr. Grey is able to be transferred to Seattle Grace."

The room was absolutely silent as the news sunk in for all those present. After a few moments, the chief continued.

"I'll leave it up to you how you wish to inform the staff in your departments, but I suggest you do it quickly, before the infamous Seattle Grace gossip machine exaggerates the situation to the point of Dr. Grey's death. Stevens, Karev, O'Malley and Shepherd, please remain. The rest of you are dismissed."

* * *

"Meredith?" Addison felt relief kicking in as Meredith finally regained consciousness again.

"I'm fine, Addison. The painkillers are kicking in."

"Meredith," Addison says in a concerned, motherly sort of tone. "I've seen your chart. I know you aren't fine, and I know there aren't painkillers strong enough to knock out what you're feeling right now."

"Okay, have it your way. I feel like I'm on fire. I feel like there are knives stabbing me all over my body. I can't even feel my right leg at all, which quite frankly is worse than the searing pain in the left leg, because I'm a doctor and I know what it means when you can't feel pain that you should be feeling. It even hurts to breathe, which I assume means that I have broken ribs. I feel like someone ripped by abdominal walls open, which I think means that I've had extensive surgery. I don't think I need to continue through the rest of my ailments. Basically, it hurts like hell. Happy now?" Meredith smiled slightly at Addison, just enough to let her know she wasn't truly angry.

"Yes. Much better."

"Good. I'm glad one of us is."

"Look, Meredith, I need to let you know that the doctors would like to place you in a medically induced coma. It will keep your pain levels down, which will help you heal faster. Do you understand what that would mean?"

Meredith nodded. "Cristina…Cristina is my person. She has my medical power of attorney."

"I know. Richard told me. She's on a flight right now. In fact," Addison paused, glancing at her watch, "she should be landing any minute now."

"Good."

"Meredith? Richard tells me that she's bringing your sister Lexie with her. I hope that that is alright with you. I don't know how close you two are."

"It's fine. I'm…I'm glad she'll be here. She sort of grows on you after a while. I guess you can't help but like her. Kind of like her mother in that regard."

"Well, I'll look forward to meeting her soon."

"When do they want to put me out?" Meredith asked.

"As soon as possible, probably within the hour."

"No. No…I need to see them first…I need to see Cristina…I need to talk to Lexie…" Meredith once again broke down in tears.

"Shhh…okay, it's okay…they can't put you out without your permission, so we'll just wait until they get here, okay?"

"Addison? I heard someone talking about another surgery. What exactly do they need to do?"

Addison looked hesitant, but decided that there was no way to sugarcoat the facts when dealing with a fellow surgeon.

"There are additional repairs that need to be made to your right leg in an attempt to…" Addison paused, unsure how to continue.

"Just tell me, Addison. Just tell me the truth."

"Okay. In an attempt to avoid…to avoid amputation." She paused when she heard Meredith's stunned gasp.

"Keep going, Addison. I know there's more."

"They'll also do the first of a series of skin grafts to treat your burns."

"Burns?"

"You have third degree burns…a lot of them, to be honest."

Meredith didn't push for details on that injury. "That explains the pain. How many surgeries will I need?"

"You have third degree burns to approximately seventy percent of your body. We won't know for sure how many surgeries until the plastic surgeon arrives. There isn't anyone on staff here qualified to treat those kinds of burns, so we've called in a consult."

Meredith nodded and then seemed to drift off in thought for a few moments.

"Addison, I know this might be awkward for you, but…well, if I'm going to have the skin grafts…well, see, I guess I was just thinking that maybe you could…you know, maybe you might call…"

Addison interrupted her, knowing exactly what she was asking. "Mark's on the same flight as Cristina and Lexie. I asked Richard to send him."

"Thank you."

"You deserve the best, Meredith. You've been through too much pain." Meredith could tell from the tone in her voice that Addison wasn't just talking about physical pain, and she forced a small smile as a way of thanks.


	7. Dirty Mistresses

**A/N:** Seriously, have I said recently that you all are awesome for leaving reviews? Well, you are!

For those of you who were upset with how Charlotte was treating Addison, I give you a chapter that puts Charlotte King firmly in her place. Plus, some pretty cute Meredith/Mark interaction. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** Here's a surprise for everyone...I still don't own Grey's! Let's just say this disclaimer applies to all further chapters in perpetuity. I'm tired of writing this every other chapter.

* * *

Meredith spent the next two hours drifting in and out of consciousness. Addison sat beside her, unwilling to leave for even a moment. She couldn't risk Meredith waking up alone, without a familiar face to comfort her.

Finally, the doors to the room opened and Charlotte King walked in.

"How the hell did you do it, Montgomery?"

"Excuse me?"

"Mark Sloan. He's here, on his way up now. How the hell did you get the number one plastic surgeon in the country to drop everything for this girl?"

"She's his friend, Charlotte. Maybe you had one at some point? You know, someone who actually cares about you for you, and not because of your position?"

"Addison?" Charlotte and Addison turned their heads to find three very anxious looking surgeons hovering at the door, still in their Seattle Grace scrubs and lab coats, having not bothered to waste time changing before their flight.

"Mark," Addison breathed a sigh of relief. "Charlotte King, this is Mark Sloan. Mark, meet Charlotte King, chief of staff here at St. Ambrose."

"Dr. Sloan, it's a pleasure to have you here. I know our surgical staff is thrilled to be working with you. It's going to be a real delight for them, and we hope you'll enjoy your stay here. If there is anything at all we can do to make your visit better, be sure to let one of the nurses know," Charlotte turned on the charm, obviously trying to impress the renowned surgeon in the hopes of convincing him to stay for longer than just this case.

Addison couldn't help but chuckle at the nurse comment.

"Dr. King," Mark nodded, before continuing harshly, "I'm happy to be able to help, for Meredith's sake. In the future, however, I had better not hear you talking about the fact that one of my closest friends is currently fighting for her life, not to mention facing a long and painful rehabilitation process, as though it were some sort of cause for celebration. And unless you can miraculously make her able to get up and come home to Seattle fully healed, I don't think anything you do will make my time here more enjoyable."

With that, Mark entered the room, gave Addison a quick hug and took over her place by Meredith's bedside, while Addison moved towards the door to make the rest of the introductions.

"Dr. King, this is Dr. Cristina Yang. Dr. Yang is a surgical resident at Seattle Grace, and holds Meredith's medical power of attorney."

"Dr. Yang," Charlotte nodded, still dumbstruck by Mark Sloan's rebuke.

"Dr. King," Cristina replied just as coldly, having almost immediately determined that she did not want anything to do with the woman despite her position of power.

Addison then turned to Lexie. "And you must be Lexie, correct? I'm Addison Montgomery," Addison smiled sadly as she extended her hand. "I wish we were meeting under better circumstances."

"Thank you, Dr. Montgomery," Lexie replied.

"Charlotte, this is Dr. Lexie Grey, Meredith's sister."

"Dr. Grey, I'm very sorry about your sister," Charlotte smiled, reverting to damage control mode.

"I'll bet you are," Lexie scoffed. "Can we sit with her?"

"Of course, Dr. Grey. I'll let her attending know that you are here, and he'll be in to talk with you shortly," Charlotte replied as she quickly left the room.

* * *

"Chief, you have to let us go to Los Angeles!" Izzie was practically begging by the time the office had been cleared of other surgeons.

"Dr. Stevens, I understand your desire to rush to her side, but it would accomplish nothing. At this point, she's barely conscious. My understanding is that by tonight they plan to place her in a medically induced coma to reduce the pain from her upcoming surgeries. She won't know you are there even if you do go."

"Sir, you can't just expect us to sit around and do nothing!" George exclaimed.

"No, Dr. O'Malley, I do not expect you to sit around doing nothing, I expect you to do your jobs. I expect you to be professional and focused during your surgeries and your interactions with your patients. We're already going to be short one resident and one intern, not to mention our top plastic surgeon, I can't have us short any more."

"Yeah, why did Yang get to go, sir? I mean, I get that she's her person, but we're her friends too!" Alex asked the chief.

"Dr. Yang holds Meredith's medical power of attorney. She had to be there to give consent for Meredith's surgeries. I also sent Lexie because she is a blood relative," the chief explained.

"And _Mark_?" Derek asked. "Richard, I love her! If you were going to send an attending, it should have been me! For God's sake, why _Mark_ of all people?"

"Well, Dr. Shepherd, this may come as a shock to you, but not every decision I make revolves around your personal life," the chief replied, clearly annoyed. "I do on occasion make decisions based on what is best for a patient. Dr. Sloan has gone to Los Angeles because he is the best plastic surgeon in the country, and beginning tomorrow he will be performing a series of complicated skin grafts to treat the burns Meredith suffered in the crash. The injuries were such that no one at St. Ambrose was qualified to treat them. Since they were going to be calling in an outside consult anyway, they eagerly agreed the suggestion that Dr. Sloan assist on the case."

"But sir, we can't just leave her alone down there!" Izzie protested.

"Dr. Stevens, did you not hear a word I just said? Dr. Sloan will be treating her, so she will be receiving the best care possible, not to mention the fact that she will have her sister and Dr. Yang by her side. From the moment she was identified this morning, she hasn't been alone. I know for a fact Addison hasn't left her side all day, and probably won't until Lexie and Cristina arrive this evening."

"Did you just say…" Alex began, but was interrupted by Derek.

"Addison is with her??"

* * *

When Meredith opened her eyes again, she was surprised to see a new familiar face at her side.

"Well hello there. How's my favorite dirty mistress today?"

"Haven't you heard…I'm the jilted woman now, remember?" Meredith tried to laugh, but found the pain too much.

"Nope. Hate to break it to you, but you'll always be a dirty mistress to me," Mark said, smiling softly at Meredith.

"Although," he continued, this time with a mischevious smile, "if it makes the jilted woman feel any better, I'm pretty sure your sister broke the jilter's nose this morning."

"What?" Meredith asked, slightly stunned.

"Lexie punched Derek out. I didn't stick around long enough for a damage report, but if experience serves me, I'd bet good money she broke his nose. Knocked him right off his feet."

Meredith laughed slightly. "Somebody better take a picture for me. I want to see."

"I'll have someone get right on that," Mark laughed.

"Hey Mark?"

"Yeah Meredith?"

"How bad are my burns? I mean, they hurt like hell, but will I…you know, will there be a lot of scarring?"

"Look, Meredith, I'm not going to lie. I'm going to do the best I can, but some scarring is going to be unavoidable. The good news is, most of it will probably be confined to your torso and parts of your lower body, so it will be easily concealable without excessive clothing. You might not want to run around in a bikini, but we'll probably be able to get you to sleeveless dresses. Maybe even a v-neck if you play your cards right." Mark grinned at her.

"Leave it to a dirty mistress to make it all about skimpy clothes. What about my face, Mark?"

"Your face will be fine, I'll make sure of that. Your burns were less severe there anyway. There may be some minor scarring around your jawline, but I'll try to keep it light enough that you can cover it with concealer. I am the best, after all."

She smiled as best she could. "Thank you, Mark. Not just for coming, but for not lying to me."

"Anytime. Us dirty mistresses, we have to stick together, right?"

"Right."

"And you know, Meredith, since I'm going to be in there anyway, all you have to do is say the word if you want anything else…you know, boob job, face lift, whatever…I'll do it on the house, I promise."

"Shut it, McSteamy. I may be stuck in this hospital bed, but that doesn't mean I can't have Cristina kick your ass. Or maybe Lexie. Apparently she's quite good with her fists; I'm sure you could set your own nose, right?"

Mark laughed.

* * *

"What do you mean, Addison has been with her all day? You're telling me my ex-wife has been sitting with her, my ex-best friend gets to treat her, and I'm not even allowed to be in the same state?" Derek asked, furious at the chief.

"Derek, calm down and have a seat. There's no reason to be so angry. You should be thanking Addison, if you really want to know. She's the only reason we even know where Meredith is. Up until this morning, Meredith was a Jane Doe, and she probably would have stayed that way, too, if Addison hadn't come across her this morning while visiting a patient. And you have no right to be angry, Derek, because as far as I've heard, the only ex-anything Meredith has right now is you."

"But…"

"No buts! Why do I always feel like I'm running a kindergarten and not a world-class surgical facility!" Richard sighed as he ran his fingers through his graying hair.


	8. You're My Person

**A/N:** Here we go again! Another new chapter! This one starts with a little SGH, but is mostly focused on the Cristina-Meredith interaction. I hope you like it! Lexie-Meredith will be featured in the next chapter.

* * *

"Look, Derek, I didn't ask the four of you to stay behind so we could argue over who gets to go to L.A. and who doesn't. That decision has already been made, and I won't be changing it anytime soon. I asked you to stay behind because I know that the three of you," Richard gestured to George, Izzie and Alex, "are very close with Meredith, and because you," he nodded in Derek's direction, "were at one point very close with her."

Derek winced, understanding the chief's very clear implication. Derek was included in this conversation as a courtesy, not because he had any real place in her personal life at that moment.

"Given your relationships with Meredith," the chief continued, "I know that the four of you will probably take this harder than any of the other staff, with the possible exception of Dr. Yang and Lexie. They, however, are not of as much concern to me at the moment because they will not be holding people's lives in their hands. I wanted to personally make sure that you will all be able to continue working to the best of your abilities. I would also like to use this time to let you ask any questions you might have regarding Meredith's condition. If there is anything you would like to know more detail on, now is the time to ask."

* * *

"Mark?"

"Yes, Meredith?"

"Not that I'm not happy to see you or anything, because I am…but I'm pretty sure Addison promised me my person and my sister as well as my fellow dirty mistress."

"They went to get some coffee and meet with the attending heading up your case. They should be back any second now."

Right on cue, the door opened and Lexie and Cristina entered the room.

"You're awake!" Cristina exclaimed in relief, rushing to Meredith's side. Lexie hung back, still unsure whether her sister would be happy to see her.

Mark stood up. "Well, I think we should give you two some time to chat."

He leaned in and placed a kiss on Meredith's forehead before ushering Lexie out of the room.

Cristina hesitated for only a moment before speaking.

"God, Meredith Grey do you have any idea how worried I have been? You have got to stop doing this to me! What the hell were you doing flying anywhere? And where exactly were you going?"

"The details are still kind of fuzzy, Cristina. I remember being in a bar after work on Thursday…Addison tells me it's now Saturday…I remember this guy named Ryan hitting on me; I'd met him the week before, I think…I remember him mentioning something about Mexico…the next thing I remember is being pinned under the wreckage and seeing Ryan lying dead a few feet away from me."

"I think you need to stop drinking."

"I think that might be a good idea."

They sat in silence for several minutes, studying each other intently.

"Cristina?"

"Yes, Meredith?"

"When I'm in my coma, you have to make all my decisions."

"I know."

"I need you to promise me something."

"Don't worry, I won't let Sloan give you a boob job while he's in there."

"Very funny. No, I want you to promise me you won't let them take my leg."

"Meredith…you know that might not be possible. Looking at it as a surgeon, regaining even partial muscle connectivity and associated limb function with the extent of your current injuries is statistically unlikely. You have a better chance at walking again with a prosthetic than you do with your actual leg."

"Cristina, could you please for once in your life not look at everything through a surgeon's eyes? Have you ever known me to do what the odds said I should? Would I even be alive right now if I let statistics determine my future?"

"I suppose you have a point there."

"Of course I have a point. I may ramble, but I always have a point. Well, okay, not always, but usually. Alright, fine, maybe six times out of..."

"Meredith…rambling again," Cristina laughed, with only a hint of mock annoyance.

"Sorry. In all seriousness, I haven't seen my chart, so you tell me…is there a danger of infection or some other reason that the amputation absolutely has to be done immediately?"

"No."

"Good. So get them to let me keep my leg long enough to have a chance at beating the odds. Because Cristina, I'm good at that, but I can't beat them if I never get a shot at trying. I promise, if it doesn't work, I'll let you cut the leg off yourself."

"Seriously?"

"Stop fishing for surgeries!"

"Sorry."

"Do you promise?"

"What am I supposed to tell the ortho guy when he wants to cut it off?"

"Who is it?"

"Um…" Cristina grabbed Meredith's chart and let out a soft whistle when she saw the surgeon's name. "Looks like you have all the luck, Mer. Tyler Garrison; he's the best orthopedic surgeon on the west coast, maybe even the whole country! I think he's still going to want to amputate, though."

"That's okay. He worked under my mother for a while. Just tell him I'm Ellis Grey's daughter and if he takes my leg, my mother's ghost is going to come haunt him."

"You want me to threaten Tyler Garrison with your mother's ghost?"

"Yes."

"What if he doesn't go for it?"

"Ask him about the big scar he's got on his right shoulder. He'll give you some bull about fighting off a mugger or saving a damsel in distress or something macho like that. He uses it to impress the ladies. His record almost makes McSteamy look like a respectable man." Cristina scoffed at this suggestion and Meredith managed to muster a small laugh.

"Just remind Dr. Garrison that I know where that scar really came from and why it healed the way it did. If I wake up with one leg, I'm not above telling this whole damn hospital."

"You want me to blackmail one of the most well known orthopedic surgeons in this country?" Cristina asked, just to be sure.

"Yes, please."

"Okay then. I suppose I am your person."

"You're my person."

After a few moments of silence, Meredith spoke again.

"Could you ask Lexie to come in? I want to talk to her before…before I go out."

"Sure."


	9. I'm Glad It's You

**A/N:** Well, Meredith is running low on visitors...she's only got Lexie left! I'm pretty happy with this chapter. I really wanted to give Meredith and Lexie some sort of sisterly bonding that goes beyond the little moments they've had on the show. This chapter is a start, and paves the way for a big moment for Lexie in one of the upcoming chapters. It is a little shorter than most of my chapters, for which I apologize, but another update should be coming soon.

* * *

Lexie slowly entered the room and moved to her sister's side. Although it was true that they had grown closer over the last few months, their relationship still had its ups and downs, and Lexie was unsure whether her sister would be happy to see her.

"So, I hear you've been busy, Lexie," Meredith began.

"Excuse me?"

Meredith pointed to Lexie's bandaged hand. "I hope you didn't hurt yourself too badly."

"Nothing I can't handle, a little sore and I might have to take a week off surgeries," Lexie smiled shyly. "It was worth it."

"What did he say? I know he must have said something. You didn't just walk up and punch him out of the blue."

"He…well, he said it wasn't his fault…he said he didn't make you a whore…I couldn't help it, I just reacted. He had no right to be talking about you like that," Lexie carefully studied her sister for signs of anger. She let out a sigh of relief when she saw a small smile creep over Meredith's face.

"Well, I hope you won't get in trouble for it."

"Nah, Dr. Sloan already called the chief and explained what happened. Dr. Webber said I must have been acting out of grief and besides, apparently no one in that very crowded hallway remembers seeing anything." Lexie shrugged and smiled at her sister.

"Lexie?" Meredith whispered, feeling herself rapidly losing strength.

"Yeah, Meredith?"

"I'm sorry."

"For what? Meredith, this isn't your fault…this isn't anyone's fault. I chose to hit him and…"

"Not about that. I'm sorry…I'm sorry I didn't give you a chance."

"Oh Meredith…" Lexie reached out and grabbed Meredith's hand, and was pleasantly surprised to find Meredith grabbing hers right back.

"When I met you, I said you weren't a person I ever wanted to know. I shouldn't have said that…I shouldn't have said that and I'm sorry. You're not a bad person Lexie…I don't know if I ever said it, but I even kind of like you sometimes. So, I'm sorry…I've always said that Cristina was my sister, and that she was the only family I needed...I still need Cristina...but, I'm glad that I have another sister...and I'm glad it's you."

"Yeah, well, sometimes I kind of like you too," Lexie laughed as she tried to wipe away her tears with her free hand. "I'm really glad that you're my sister, Meredith."

"Hey, stop that, you're going to make me cry," Meredith scolded. "Lexie?"

"Meredith?"

"If…if something happens…not that I plan on anything happening, because I don't…I'm still fighting…but if something does happen…well, would you…" Meredith paused to catch her breath before continuing, "…would you tell Molly I'm sorry I didn't get to know her too?"

Lexie was stunned. Meredith had never been open to her family, and now she was talking about Molly?

"I will, but I won't need to. You can get to know her yourself when we get back to Seattle. We could even have a girls' day, just the three of us. Although you'll need to be prepared for lots of baby talk, because that's the only thing on her mind these days," Lexie smiled at her sister, trying to keep the tears she felt in her eyes from falling.

"Okay. But don't expect hugs and kisses. Make sure she knows I don't do bright and shiny very well. I'm dark and twisty. Warn her."

"I will."

Lexie sat on the edge of Meredith's bed, holding her hand as she once again drifted away from consciousness.

* * *

Richard Webber sighed as he watched the four beaten surgeons walk slowly out of his office. He'd just spent the last hour explaining Meredith's many injuries to them. Each answer he gave, each broken bone he described, each surgery he detailed, had been like being punched in the stomach, over and over. Looking at the sad faces that had sat before him, he knew it had been no easier for them to hear them than it had been for him to say them.

The ringing of his phone pulled him out of his melancholy thoughts.

"Chief Webber," he answered.

"Addison? Did Sloan and the others arrive yet?"

"No, no, they're not in surgery. Actually they were just here. Hold on, I'll get them back." He covered the receiver with his hand and shouted for his assistant. "Patricia! Get Karev, O'Malley and Stevens back in here now, and page Miranda Bailey!"


	10. Memories

**A/N:** Okay, I get now that that was a bad cliffhanger to leave you all with at the end of the last chapter. I'm sorry! Originally I had another scene in there that made it clear what the phone call was about, but it didn't really flow, so I moved it to this chapter. I didn't even realize until I got your reviews I'd left you with such a cliffie – sorry!

This chapter starts with a trip down memory lane, as we see more of Meredith's memories from the last few days begin to emerge. Also, please don't make fun of the song Lexie sings…I know it's a silly one, but I couldn't think of anything else. I was originally trying to think of a touching lullaby, but couldn't come up with anything, and since we sang that with my preschool group yesterday, I thought it could be cute in this context. The chapter ends with the same phone call the last chapter ended with, only this time we'll hear both sides of the conversation.

* * *

_"See Meredith? I told you I had a plane!" Ryan laughed as he tugged Meredith's hand and pulled her close to him. "And you said I was making it up. You owe me a kiss for that one."_

_Meredith giggled, still feeling the effects of the tequila she'd been drinking that night. "Okay, but only one. You get more when I get on the plane…are we really going to Mexico?"_

_Ryan leaned down and stole a quick kiss._

"_You bet…best tequila under the sun. I'll have you back tomorrow night, tan and happy, my dear."_

"_I'll bet you say that to all the girls," Meredith laughed. At that point, she couldn't have cared less if he had used that line on every girl west of the Rockies. She had reached that happy medium in her drinking, where she was not drunk enough to not know what she was doing, but just drunk enough to not care._

"_Well, what are we waiting for, Ryan? Let's go!"_

* * *

_Ryan and Meredith were curled up in the plush leather seats near the rear of the airplane, locked in a passionate embrace, when a sudden jolt broke them apart._

_The pilot's voice crackled over the intercom. "Mr. Sullivan, we seem to be experiencing some sort of mechanical problem with the engines…make sure you and the lady have your seatbelts on, we may need to make an emergency landing."_

"_Oooh…he sounds scared," Meredith laughed as she clumsily climbed back into her own seat and strapped herself in. "You'd better buckle up over there…I think the engines are kinda important."_

"_No way…Will's a great pilot, he'll fix it. I'm more interested in what you can help me with, Dr. Meredith…" Meredith giggled again as Ryan leaned towards her, pulling her close._

_Suddenly, a sharp drop sent Ryan flying towards the front of the aircraft._

_"Ryan!!" Meredith screamed. She quickly realized, to her horror, that the engines were eerily silent. The plane was in a freefall. "Ryan!!"_

* * *

"Ryan…Ryan, no…no…" Meredith cried out as she shook in her hospital bed, the memories overwhelming her dreams.

"Meredith…Meredith, wake up…Meredith, it's okay, it was just a dream…" Mark tried to comfort her, as he looked anxiously at Lexie and Cristina. "Do either of you know who Ryan is?" They both shook their heads helplessly.

"Ryan Sullivan," Addison said softly, coming up behind Mark. "According to the police, he was the owner of the plane. Is she having another nightmare?" Mark nodded. Addison shook her head and sighed. "She's been having them all day, and the nurses say she had them yesterday as well. She just calls out his name and cries and shakes. I've tried everything to bring her out of them, nothing seems to work."

"She can't be moving so much, not with the burns still so fresh," Mark advised. "I'm surprised the pain hasn't woken her up yet; she's got to rubbing her back raw. We have to get her to stop or we'll need to put her into that coma sooner rather than later."

"Maybe you should try, Cristina. She might respond to a more familiar voice," Addison suggested.

Cristina stepped forward awkwardly and took Meredith's hand, unsure what to say.

"Hey Meredith, it's Cristina…I need you to wake up now…I don't have any big engagement news to bring you back this time, but I really need you wake up…everything's going to be okay, Meredith…"

"Ryan…no, Ryan…Ryan…" Meredith continued to cry out, trembling more violently than before.

Lexie nervously stepped forward. "Could I…well, do you think I could try?"

Cristina looked skeptically at Lexie, but eventually stepped back to let Lexie approach the bed.

Lexie stepped up, taking Meredith's hand in hers. She reached up and ran her hand over Meredith's hair. Leaning in close to her ear, Lexie took a deep breath and started singing softly,

"Skidamarink a dink a dink…skidamarink a doo, I love you…Skidamarink a dink a dink…skidamarink a doo, I love you…I love you in the morning, and in the afternoon…I love you in the evening, and underneath the moon…skidamarink a dink a dink…skidamarink a doo, I love you."

Cristina and Mark both nearly burst out laughing when Lexie began singing, but sharp glares from Addison quickly quieted them. Much to their astonishment, by the time Lexie finished, Meredith was once again sleeping peacefully.

"What the hell was that?" Cristina asked Lexie, stunned by Meredith's reaction.

Lexie shrugged. "When Molly and I were little, if we got scared or upset, my dad would sing that song with us and it always calmed us down. I just took a guess that maybe he used to do the same thing with Meredith."

"I suppose we'd better go get her attendings. She'll need to sign the consent forms the next time she's awake. Dr. Garrison and Dr. Hartley seemed to think the sooner we induce the coma, the better off she'll be," Addison said as she headed for the door to get the other doctors.

* * *

An awkward silence descended on the room. Finally, several minutes after Addison returned with Dr. Garrison and Dr. Hartley, Meredith began to stir again.

"Lexie?" she called.

"I'm here, Meredith, I'm here," Lexie reassured her.

Meredith smiled. "Were you singing to me?"

Lexie blushed. "Yeah."

"I think we got the same bad voice."

Lexie laughed.

Dr. Garrison cleared his throat. "Dr. Grey, if you wouldn't mind signing these consent forms, we'd like to proceed now with inducing a coma, as I believe Dr. Montgomery discussed with you earlier."

"Dr. Garrison, I want you to know that you are not allowed to amputate my leg unless it is absolutely a life or death situation," Meredith instructed.

"Well, Dr. Grey, I'll do everything I can but I have to say, I really am not optimistic about the chances of recovering muscle function, particularly below the knee. If I feel it is necessary, I will amputate. Don't think I'm going to treat you any differently just because I used to work for your mother."

"Dr. Garrison," Cristina interrupted. "I've heard stories about a fascinating scar on your shoulder, are they true?"

Tyler Garrison perked up as Melissa Hartley and Addison groaned, having both already been subjected to Dr. Garrison's lengthy stories regarding his scar. "Why yes, Dr. Yang, I do. You see, before I started my fellowship, I took a trip to the Amazon…"

"You told me it was Mongolia, Tyler," Dr. Hartley laughed.

"I heard Kenya," Addison added.

"Oh please," everyone turned to look at Meredith. "It wasn't the Amazon, or Kenya, or Mongolia. He got the scar in Boston. I'll keep quiet about the real story for now, Tyler, but if I wake up with one leg, well, I just might be so distraught that I start telling all sorts of stories about my youth; you never know, I might even tell everyone about your _other_ scar…"

"Are you blackmailing me, Dr. Grey?"

"Damn straight she is," Cristina snapped.

"Well I never…I will not be blackmailed!"

"Nurse Sarah," Meredith called out, knowing that gossip travelled much faster on the tongue of a nurse than a doctor. "Sarah, did I ever tell you that I used to live in Boston?"

"Um, no Dr. Grey, I don't think you did," Sarah replied, clearly confused.

"Well, I did. You know what's a funny coincidence, Sarah?" Sarah shook her head. "At the exact same time that I lived in Boston, so did Dr. Garrison here!"

Sarah arched an eyebrow at Dr. Garrison, who was beginning to get very uncomfortable.

"Actually, Dr. Garrison and I both lived in Boston right around the time he got that scar on his shoulder, not to mention his _other_ scar. Isn't that right, Dr. Garrison?" Even though Meredith was in pain, everyone could see that she was enjoying torturing the arrogant doctor.

"Well, I think that is quite enough reminiscing for today, don't you, Dr. Grey? You need to rest up so we can repair that leg tomorrow," Dr. Garrison quickly conceded the fight. "Dr. Hartley, I trust you can handle Dr. Grey's consent forms? Sarah, will you come with me, please? I have some post-op instructions on a few patients I'd like to go over." And with that Dr. Garrison practically bolted from the room, followed closely by a very bewildered Sarah.

As soon as he was out of sight, everyone in the room burst into laughter.

"I don't think I've ever seen Tyler Garrison run so fast," Dr. Hartley laughed.

"What's the big deal about this scar, anyway?" Mark asked.

"It's his calling card, basically. He tells wild stories about how he got it, hoping to impress the ladies and get one to sleep with him," Dr. Hartley replied. "It's amazing how many idiots there are in L.A. that actually fall for it. Actually, it's amazing how many of those idiots still work in this hospital. You'd think by now all the nurses would know better."

"I've known since I was 14 and he hasn't changed a bit," Meredith said. "Basically, Mark, he's you without any of the charm and good looks."

"Dr. Grey, are you hitting on me?" Mark teased.

"In this fine establishment?" Meredith gestured to the room. "Of course I am."

"Someone just shoot me now," Cristina groaned.

"Dr. Grey," Dr. Hartley began.

"Please, Dr. Hartley," Meredith interrupted. "From what I understand, you've had your hands in me three times already. I think that gives you the right to call me Meredith."

"Okay, Meredith. Before we get to the rest of the medical forms we need you to sign, I just have to ask…what is this about a second scar? And do you really know how Tyler got his shoulder scar?"

"He actually tried to convince me that he was gored by a rhinocerous," Addison added.

"Told me he was attacked while smuggling third-world orphans to their waiting adoptive parents," Dr. Hartley said.

Meredith gave a small laugh, wincing at the pain it caused.

"Yeah, I know exactly what happened."

"How?" Addison asked.

"I gave it to him," Meredith replied calmly. "Actually, I gave him both his scars. They're pretty much identical. Although the one on his…um, well not his shoulder…is a little less noticable because it was sutured better."

"Again, just when I think you're getting boring, you go throw something like that into the mix," Cristina said. "Nicely done."

"I sense there's a story there, yes?" Dr. Hartley asked, eager for some information to use against her colleague.

"I'll tell you all about it when you wake me up from my beauty sleep," Meredith teased. "You need some incentive to keep me alive, after all."

"Very well, I'll hold you to that, Meredith," Dr. Hartley smiled. "Now, I just need your signature on this form and we'll get the IVs set up."

"Wait," Meredith pleaded. "Could I call some people first, please?"

"If you make it quick, I suppose that would be alright."

"Good, because no one is putting me under until I talk to Izzie."

"Okay," Addison pulled out her phone to begin dialing.

"And George."

"Okay."

"And Alex."

"Meredith…"

"And Dr. Bailey."

"Meredith, I…"

"Oh, and I want to talk to Chief Webber too."

Addison laughed. "Well, why don't I just call Richard and he can have everyone come to his office?"

"Okay, but I want to talk to each of them alone."

"I think we can arrange that. Let me get Richard on the line."

* * *

Addison dialed the number and waited for the familiar voice to pick up.

"Chief Webber," he answered.

"Richard, it's Addison again."

"Addison? Did Sloan and the others arrive yet?"

"Yes, they're here. We're getting ready to put Meredith into her coma, but she's refusing to give consent until she talks to you, as well as to Stevens, O'Malley, Karev and Bailey. They're not in surgery are they?" Addison asked.

"No, no, they're not in surgery. Actually they were just here. Hold on, I'll get them back." He covered the receiver with his hand and shouted for his assistant. "Patricia! Get Karev, O'Malley and Stevens back in here now, and page Miranda Bailey!"


	11. I Was Paged Too

**A/N:** The next few chapters will be focused on Meredith's conversations with the group back at SGH. I hope that it doesn't get too tedious - Meredith isn't giving up, but at the same time, she's a surgeon and she sees how difficult her case is, so she doesn't want to leave anything unsaid. Before she lets anyone put her into a coma, she wants to make sure her "family" is going to be taken care of. So that's what this is all about.

* * *

"Addison?" Meredith called out.

"Hang on one sec, Richard." Addison took the phone away from her ear and looked back at Meredith.

"I want to talk to Callie too, please," Meredith states calmly.

Addison nodded. "Richard, she wants to speak to Callie Torres as well."

On the other end of the line, Addison heard Richard sigh and call out to Patricia to also page Dr. Torres.

Cristina moved over to the bed and leaned in to speak to Meredith. "Are you nuts? What are you trying to do?"

"I want to talk to Callie. I like Callie."

"Mer, that is so the morphine talking."

"No, it isn't. I am in a lot of pain, I am about to go into a coma from which I might not wake up, and I want to talk to Callie. Why is that a problem?"

"Because she's George's ex-wife!"

"They aren't divorced yet, just separated. There's a difference; ask Addison," Meredith countered.

"They so bumped your pain meds while I wasn't looking, Mer."

"Maybe. I still want to talk to Callie."

"Are you trying to break up Bambi and Barbie?"

"No, they did that themselves two weeks ago."

"What? Why does no one tell me these things?" Cristina complained.

"I thought everyone knew," Meredith replied. "Lexie, you knew about George and Izzie breaking up, right?"

Lexie nodded.

"She doesn't count, she and George are roommates!" Cristina protested.

"Fine," Meredith sighed. "Mark? Did you know about George and Izzie breaking up?"

"Didn't everyone? It was about time they put themselves out of their misery, too. Izzie didn't make a very good dirty mistress."

"There was nothing…well, exciting…about the affair," Meredith agreed. "No big spark. Spark is essential in a dirty mistress."

"See, this is why you'll always be my favorite dirty mistress," Mark grinned.

Cristina groaned and threw her hands up in the air. "I give up. Next time, will somebody please just tell me when these things happen?"

* * *

Alex and Izzie rushed back to the chief's office, nearly colliding with George on the way there. When the three finally reached the office, Patricia stopped them and instructed them to wait outside the door. They could see through the glass that the chief was on the phone and seemed deep in conversation with someone.

Soon after they arrived, they were joined by Dr. Bailey. Miranda Bailey had been about to scrub in with Erica Hahn, but as soon as the page came from the chief's office, she had hightailed it out of that OR and over to the office, dreading what news might be waiting for her there.

Much to everyone's surprise, Callie walked in right after Bailey. Sensing the confused stares from Bailey and Izzie, Callie shrugged and sat down in the chair next to George. "What? I was paged too," she explained calmly.

After a few moments, Chief Webber set down the phone and stepped outside his office to where the group was waiting.

"Good, you're all here. I'm on the phone with Addison Montgomery at the moment. As I mentioned earlier, Meredith is going to be put into a medically induced coma to reduce her pain and speed her healing. Actually, they were hoping to already have her in that coma, but she refused to consent until she saw Dr. Yang, Dr. Sloan and Lexie. Now, however, it appears she causing more trouble for the good doctors. She's refusing to consent until she speaks to all of you."

They all stood up at once, eager to get in and speak with Meredith, but the chief raised his hand to stop them.

"She'd like to speak with each of you individually. I'll caution you not to ask her about the accident itself, or what she was doing on the plane; she gets extremely upset when asked to talk about those events. I know we're all curious, but the truth will come out in time. Right now Meredith just needs to stay calm and know that we support her in this. She'd like to speak with Dr. Karev first," the chief stated, motioning for Alex to enter his office.

* * *

After Meredith kicked everyone out of her room so that she could have her phone calls in real privacy, Addison went to the nurses' station to call her practice and change plans she'd had that evening. Mark went to discuss arrangements for the surgery the next day. Lexie and Cristina slumped down in the uncomfortable chairs outside Meredith's room. Both closed their eyes, trying to block out the events of the day.

"Lexie?"

"Yeah, Cristina?"

"You know I was Meredith's person - and her sister - before you, right?" Cristina asked.

"I'm not trying to be her person, Cristina. Just her sister. I don't think anyone could take your place in her life, even if they tried. You get her in ways that no one else does. She still needs you, even if she has a sister or two more than she used to."

"If you tell anyone what I'm about to say, I will kill you, got it?"

"Yes."

"Okay. We have this family. It isn't a traditional family, but its our family and everyone knows it. Me, Mer, George, Izzie, and as much as I hate to admit it, even Alex…we're a family."

"I know that Cristina…I'm not trying to interfere in that family, I'm just…"

"Lexie, would you stop rambling and let me finish, please?"

"Sorry."

"Where was I? Right, so the whole group of us, we're a family. We are a family because we are there for each other when no one else is; we can reach each other when no one else can. When Izzie's fiancé died, Alex got her to let go of his body. When George's dad died, I was there with him. When Alex had to retake his boards, we all helped him. When my wedding was called off, Meredith cut me out of my dress and took my honeymoon with me. When Meredith was walking a bomb down the hall, I talked her through it."

Cristina paused, knowing that Lexie was looking at her strangely.

"Today, I couldn't reach Meredith. You could. What I'm trying to say, I think, is that maybe families can grow. So…welcome to the family, Lexie."

"Wow." Lexie could feel the tears welling up her eyes.

"There. That was my niceness quota for the year. Don't go thinking that just because you're in the family I'll be any easier on you at work."

"I wouldn't dream of it, Dr. Yang," Lexie smiled.

* * *

Alex slowly picked up the phone, unsure of what to expect from this conversation.

"Meredith?"

"Hey Alex," Meredith replied, hearing his voice come through the speaker of Addison's cell phone, which was now propped up near her head.

"You sound like crap, Grey."

"Always the charmer, Alex, always the charmer."

"You know me. I try."

"Hey Alex, will you do me a favor?"

"Depends on what it is. Will this favor get me in trouble?"

"No."

"Okay, shoot."

"Take a picture of Derek's face for me."

Alex laughed. "I take it you heard?"

"Kind of hard to ignore the bandage on Lexie's hand. How's his face look?"

"Could be better. One of the interns did the sutures…apparently he's not hard-core enough to do them himself, but let's just say Izzie's interns don't have the steadiest hands yet."

Meredith gave a small laugh, trying not let Alex hear how much it hurt.

"Alex?"

"Yeah, Meredith?"

"Don't let Izzie throw any big parties while I'm gone. I want my house to still be in one piece when I get back, got it?"

"No parties. Got it."

"And take care of Izzie, too…she needs you right now."

"I'll try, but I don't do bright and shiny, Grey."

"Me neither. Doesn't mean you shouldn't try though."

"You're on morphine again, aren't you?"

"Fine. Dodge the issue. Put Izzie on if you're going to do that."

Alex laughed. "Okay, let me go get her."

"Be good, Alex," Meredith offered as a last instruction.

"Take care, Grey." And with that, Alex rested the phone on the desk and stepped out to send Izzie in.


	12. What Happened?

**A/N:** Thank you all for the reviews; you guys are wonderful! I really appreciate you taking the time to give me your feedback - positive and negative. Please keep reviewing and letting me know what you want to know!

A bit about this chapter: there are two phone conversations, first with Izzie and then with Callie. There is also a conversation between Mark and Addison, explaining a bit about what happened during and after the breakup of Meredith and Derek. Hopefully that will fill in a few of the gaps about what has happened in the month or so since the breakup. That conversation will be continued in the next chapter as well.

* * *

"Izzie?" Meredith asked, hearing her friend breathing on the other end of the line.

"Oh God, Meredith, it is so good to hear your voice. I mean, we had no idea where you were, and then the chief called everyone to his office, and oh God, I thought for sure you were dead in an alley somewhere! I should have noticed that you hadn't come and I…"

"Izzie, really, it's okay. You didn't know. Don't blame yourself."

"I just…Meredith, you needed me, this last month, you needed me…and I wasn't there…and if you…" Izzie couldn't bring herself to finish her thought.

"Izzie, you can't blame yourself. I'm a grown woman, you shouldn't be expected to babysit me every time my heart gets broken."

"Mer, it already feels so lonely without you here…" Izzie started to cry.

"I'll be back soon, Iz. Don't cry, you'll make me cry," Meredith tried to reassure her friend.

"Sorry," Izzie wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Now, I already warned Alex. No parties while I'm away; I want the house clean and in one piece when I get back, okay?"

"No problem. Parties are no fun without you anyway."

"And Izzie?"

"Yeah, Mer?"

"Be nice to Alex, okay? Let him be there for you."

"Meredith, Alex and I…"

"Izzie, I'm not saying you have to sleep with him! I'm just saying, don't push him away. I know George can't really be there for you right now, so don't push Alex away, because you need to have someone. Promise me you won't push him away?"

"Promise."

"Good. I wish we could talk longer, but they're going to be in here soon, demanding that I sign those consent forms. I think I should talk to Callie next, can you get her for me?"

"Sure. And Mer…?"

"Yeah, Iz?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, Izzie."

Izzie walked out of the office with tears streaming down her face. After sending Callie in, she walked straight across the room and buried her head in Alex's chest, letting him hold her as she sobbed.

* * *

"Here," Mark looked up from Meredith's chart to see Addison standing over him, hand outstretched, offering a cup of coffee.

"Thanks," he mumbled. "Sit?" He motioned at the chair next to him.

"Thanks for coming, Mark," Addison said as she took a seat and began sipping her own coffee.

"I wouldn't be anywhere else."

"What is it about Meredith? I think everyone loves her…even I like her, and she slept with my husband."

"She's just…she's Meredith. She cares about people, so you can't help but care too. Plus, she's a little bit damaged, so you want to fix her."

Addison sighed. "Mark, what happened in Seattle? With Derek and Meredith, I mean? When I left, I knew things weren't perfect, but they love each other so much. I mean, he ended our marriage for her!"

"I know, Addie. To be honest, I'm not sure what happened. They broke up, but they didn't really break up, you know? And he wanted her to commit, wanted to start a real relationship. Meredith was ready, I think she was finally ready, but she wasn't ready for anything as fast as Derek wanted to go. He was confused, and he kissed Rose. It freaked him out, knowing that after everything, there was someone else who could make him feel something. I don't think there was a real spark there at first, but it was still something. So he decided he needed to know exactly how committed Meredith was to moving forward with him."

"And how did he go about figuring that out?"

"Well, the morning after she told him she didn't want him to date other people, he showed her blueprints for a house he wanted to build for the two of them. He even pointed out the kids' rooms. And she flipped out."

"So he broke up with her because she didn't like the house?"

"It wasn't that she didn't like the house. I mean, it was a pretty nice looking house. It's just, Meredith doesn't do well with big decisions. Especially when they're sprung on her out of the blue. She's afraid of relationships and she wanted to take things slowly. She needed time to adjust. Derek jumped from exclusive dating to moving in together in about 2 seconds flat. He skipped everything in between, and started talking about babies and marriage…and she got scared."

"I guess you can't blame her. That does seem a little fast."

"You know how the gossip machine works at that hospital, right?" Addison nodded. "Well, it didn't take too long for Meredith to hear about Derek kissing Rose. She confronted him, he admitted it and then accused her of not trusting him. The breakup fight was all the nurses could talk about for a week. He and Rose had their first date that night."

"Wait, he went on a date the same day they broke up?" Mark nodded. "Bastard."

"You know Derek. He doesn't do alone very well. I think the most surprising part was how Meredith took it."

"What do you mean?"

"I think everyone just assumes she jumped straight back into tequila and one night stands."

"She didn't?"

"Nope. She was stone cold sober for two solid weeks after the break up. Sure, you could tell she cried a lot, but Karev said she wouldn't even look at a shot. I actually heard Stevens begging her to come out and drink one night, just to get her to do something."

"Then what…" Addison paused as her eyes darted back to the room where Meredith lay.

"She walked up to the nurses' station one day, and Derek was there, showing Rose the house plans. It was heartbreaking, really. I wasn't too far away, and just looking at her watching them, it was like you could see something shatter inside of her. O'Malley and Karev had to carry her out of Joe's that night."

* * *

"Meredith?" Callie spoke tentatively, unsure of her place in Meredith's life and confused as to why she was being included in this phone call.

"Hi Callie."

"Hi."

There was an awkward silence on both ends of the line. Finally, Meredith decided she needed to speak her mind and get it over with.

"Callie, I think George needs you."

"Meredith, I really…"

"I know you guys are separated. You're probably going to get a divorce. You know he's not with Izzie anymore, right?"

"He's not?" Callie was genuinely surprised.

"George and Izzie are like brother and sister. They jumped too fast and got caught up in a whirlwind. It was never going to work, just like George and I would never have worked. Callie, you're the only one he's ever really clicked with on that level. Izzie and I can laugh with him, and tease him, and we can all have fun together, but that deep emotional connection, you're the only one he's got that with."

Meredith paused to catch her breath. She was speaking rapidly, hoping to get everything said before she lost her nerve.

"Look, I know he hurt you. I'm not saying you guys should jump straight back into being married. I'm not asking you to stop the divorce. I'm just saying, maybe you could be there for him right now? Because he doesn't really have anyone – he and Izzie are going to be awkward for a long time, Alex is comforting Izzie, Cristina and Lexie are here with me. George needs you right now. He still loves you, Callie."

"I don't know, Meredith."

"Please, Callie? I need to know someone's looking out for him. He won't admit it, but this is going to be really hard for him to deal with."

"I guess it wouldn't hurt to try. But just as a friend, okay?"

"That's all I'm asking."

"Okay then. I'll try to be George's friend."

"Good. Can I ask you to do me another favor, too?"

"Sure, what is it?"

"I'm going to have Mark send you copies my scans and my chart. Will you take a look at them? My leg's pretty beat up, and I think the ortho…well, he wants to amputate it."

"Who's the surgeon?"

"Tyler Garrison."

Callie let out the same low whistle Cristina had when she'd first read his name in her chart. "Damn, Meredith. Garrison's an excellent surgeon. He's a jackass, but he's one of the best."

"I take it you've met?"

"Once or twice, yeah. I think he was trying to get me to sleep with him."

"That's Tyler for you."

"He's still the best, you know," Callie continued.

"I know, I know. But, well, we sort of have a history and I don't really trust him."

"A history?"

"I might have stabbed him once or twice when he was working for my mother."

"Stabbed him?"

"Ten blade."

"Please tell me you aren't responsible for that ridiculous scar on his shoulder?" Callie tried to hold back her laughter.

"Among others."

Callie finally let out the loud laugh she'd been holding in. "He told me he got that fighting off a street gang in Buenos Aires."

"Yeah, he's a liar. I'll tell you the whole story sometime." Meredith chuckled.

"You'd better. The real story behind that scar would be gold at the next ortho conference I go to."

"Could you maybe just look at my chart and my scans? You can tell Mark if you think there's any chance of saving the leg…I really don't want them to amputate it if there's even a tiny chance of me being able to recover some sort of function. I trust your opinion."

"Of course I will. Just have Sloan send me the scans."

"Thanks Callie."

"Anytime, Grey."

"Could you send George in now?"

"You got it."


	13. Just Think About It

**A/N:** This chapter is a bit shorter than usual, but I promise the next few will be longer. I think it still covers a lot, though - Meredith's talk with George and Bailey, as well as some more of Mark's insights into the aftermath of Derek and Meredith's breakup. I hope you like it!

* * *

George cautiously picked up the phone. He was worried sick about Meredith, but also confused as to why she had wanted to speak to Callie before him.

"Meredith?"

"Hi George."

"Hi."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm supposed to be asking you that, Mer. You're the one in the hospital."

"Ugh, don't remind me. This hospital smells different that Seattle Grace. I can't figure it out."

"Maybe they use a different antiseptic?" George offered, trying to be helpful.

"Maybe. I don't like it. But seriously George, are you okay?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"Oh gee, I don't know, you broke up with your girlfriend, your mother is refusing to speak to you, you're getting a divorce, your friend was in a plane crash…want me to go on?"

"No, I think I got it. I'm dealing."

"You should let Callie help."

"Callie?"

"Callie. You know, that lady that still wears the little diamond ring you bought her?"

"She still wears it?" Meredith smiled as she heard George's voice raise a few octaves as he nervously questioned her assertion.

"She does. She keeps it on a chain around her neck."

"Seriously?" George asked, subconsciously reaching for his own neck. In the weeks since his breakup with Izzie, he had taken to wearing his own wedding ring in a similar fashion.

"Seriously. Look, I'm not asking you to go back to being married. I know you are trying to learn to take care of yourself. I'm just saying, don't push her away. It's okay to lean on someone else sometimes. I need to know that you have someone to lean on while Lexie and I are here in L.A."

"I really can't make any promises, Meredith. Callie hates me."

"She doesn't hate you. She hates what you did, but she doesn't hate you. If Addison and I can manage to become friends, I think you and Callie can do it too. Will you at least think about it?"

"Yeah, I'll think about it."

"Good. I guess I'd better talk to Dr. Bailey now, I don't think they'll let me stay on the phone much longer."

"Okay. Tell Sloan he'd better fix you up quickly, because we all miss you, Mer."

"I miss you too, George."

* * *

"I just don't see how Derek could move on so quickly. I mean, I was so sure when he told me she was the one, she was it for him. I thought I'd be hearing about them getting married, not him breaking her heart. I told him not to hurt her! And now he's building a house for some nurse?" Addison was extremely confused by her ex-husband's actions.

"See, that's the thing. I don't think he really intended to have anything with Rose. At first, I think it was just about proving to Meredith that she wasn't his only option, that he could move on. Now I don't know what's going on," Mark explained.

"Does he love the nurse?"

"I don't think so. If he does, it isn't anything like the love he feels for Meredith."

"So why is he with her?"

"I really don't know. Meredith has this theory that he didn't really love her, he loved the idea of her. She thinks he doesn't want to settle down with her, he just wants to settle down with someone who's ready now. She's got issues, and Derek doesn't want to deal with them. She still thinks their relationship is all about the chase. He only wants her when he doesn't have her. I don't buy that he doesn't love her, but the whole wanting someone who's ready now, and the whole thrill of the chase theory, those parts I think might be true. I don't know, maybe Meredith isn't the only one with issues in that relationship."

"You seem to know an awful lot about what Meredith thinks," Addison observed.

"You'd be surprised how much she'll tell you when she's so drunk she can hardly walk."

Addison raised a questioning eyebrow at Mark.

"Before she stopped going to Joe's, I used to take turns with O'Malley and Karev, sitting with her after our shifts, making sure she got home safely...and alone."

Addison nodded. "What do you mean, before she stopped going to Joe's?"

"For the last week and a half or so, she hasn't been at Joe's, but Karev and Stevens said she was still coming home drunk most nights, often with yet another one night stand. We finally got her to admit that she'd been going to different bars around town because she couldn't stand to be in Joe's when Derek and Rose were usually there as well. She never would tell us where she was going, though. Said she didn't need a babysitter."

"Poor Meredith. Do you think that's where she met the airplane guy, at one of those other bars?"

"She must have. It certainly wasn't at the hospital, and she doesn't really go anywhere else these days."

"Does Derek know? About how she's been acting?"

"I think so. He tries to make it seem like it doesn't affect him. He's getting pretty good at it, too. It does bother him, though. The only way he can deal is by denying that he had any part in it, which he does by insulting and demeaning her."

"How so?"

"If someone brings up her actions, he says things…calls her names, things like that."

"He did the same thing when she started dating while we were still trying to work on our marriage."

"I may be his best friend, but that's something I'll never understand about him. He won't fight for the people he loves, but he's got no problem hurting them?"

Addison raised her hands in defeat. "Hey, don't look at me, Mark. I was married to him for 11 years and I never figured it out."

* * *

"Meredith Grey, you are really pushing your luck. Do you have a death wish?" Miranda Bailey spoke sternly but with a voice brimming with concern.

"No, Dr. Bailey."

"Then I'd better stop getting phone calls about you being in danger, you understand me?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good. Now how are you feeling?"

"Not so great. The pain is pretty bad, but that's what the coma's for."

"So I hear."

"Dr. Bailey, can I ask you a question?"

"Fire away, Grey."

"Are they really okay? George and Izzie and Alex, I mean. They say they are, but are they really?"

"They'll be fine, Grey, you need to focus on you."

"Focusing on me is depressing. Will you take care of them for me?"

"Don't I always, Meredith?"

Bailey rarely addressed anyone by their first name, so it sounded a bit incongruous to Meredith, but at the same time, she could detect the mothering instinct hidden under Bailey's typically harsh tone.

"You do, Dr. Bailey, you do."

"Well, there's your answer, then."

"Thank you, Dr. Bailey."


	14. Taking Care of Things

**A/N:** Thank you so much for the reviews...over 100 already! You guys are wonderful, and your comments and suggestions have been so helpful. Keep them coming!

This chapter, Meredith has the last of her phone conversations, this time with the chief. Then Meredith finally signs the consent forms and goes into a coma. Plus, we'll see Mark and Addison catching each other up on what's been happening in their lives, and Alex comforts a distraught Izzie.

* * *

"Chief? Are you there?"

"I'm here, Meredith, I'm here."

"Chief, there are a few things I need you to know."

"Okay, go ahead."

"There's a box at the back of the shelf in my closet. It has a bunch of file folders in it. That's where all my legal documents are – the deed to the house, my will, stuff like that."

"Meredith, you…"

"No, Chief, I need you to know these things. I'm not giving up, but I can't focus on recovering if I don't know that all of this is taken care of, just in case." Meredith paused, taking the chief's silence as permission to continue. "Now, I think everything should be pretty clearly laid out in the will. Izzie and Alex will be able to stay in the house. I actually left it to all four of them – Izzie, Alex, George and Cristina. I never know who'll be living there at any one time, so I didn't want to take any chances."

"I'll make sure they know."

"Thank you. Next to the box with the folders, there's an old shoebox. Most of what's in it is just old knick-knacks, stuff that has sentimental value to me but which really would be junk to anyone else. You can get rid of most of that. But there's also a small jewelry box in there with a diamond locket inside it. My father had that locket made for me when I was born. He used to take me out to a special birthday dinner every year when I was little. I'd get all dressed up and I'd wear the locket. We'd take a picture and put it in the locket until the next year. I haven't worn it or even taken it out of the box since he left – never wanted to, but I could never bring myself to get rid of it, either. When I had the will drawn up, I didn't even know Lexie existed, so there's nothing in it for her. Will you make sure that Lexie gets the locket? I think she'd like it."

"I can do that."

"Good. I think that's everything."

"Meredith, you know that all of this is highly unnecessary, right?"

"I know. I just need to know that if something does happen, I didn't leave anything unsaid."

"I understand."

"Chief, I was just wondering what's going to happen with my residency?"

"To be honest, I haven't really thought about it, Meredith. I'll start the paperwork to get you on medical leave, but what happens next will depend a lot on how your recovery progresses. You may need to restart this year, but at this point, it's too soon to say."

"Okay. I suppose that wouldn't be so bad. I'd be in the same year as George and Lexie, then. That could be fun. What happens to my interns while I'm gone?"

"I'll be reassigning them to other residents."

"Of course. Silly question. Just don't assign George to Izzie, okay?"

"Why not?"

"Just trust me on this one, you don't want to know the details. Give George to Alex or some other resident. Just not Izzie."

"I'll see what I can do. Any other requests?"

"I think that about covers it."

"Then I guess you'd better stop stalling and sign those consent forms."

"I'm not stalling!"

"Meredith, you are."

"Fine, but can you blame me? I'm going to be put in a coma, for crying out loud!"

"Would you rather stay awake in the condition you're in?"

"No, I just want it to stop hurting."

"Well, the sooner you sign those forms, the sooner you can start getting better."

"I know."

"Take care of yourself, Meredith."

"I will, Chief."

Richard Webber hung up the phone and sighed. He sent up a silent prayer that he'd never need to make use of the information Meredith had just given him. Then he stood up, walked to his door, locked it and drew the blinds in his office. Returning to his desk, he put his head in his hands and, for just a minute, allowed himself to cry.

* * *

"Okay, Sleeping Beauty, time for you to sleep," Mark said. "I'll be sure to kiss you when it's time to wake up."

"Right, because you're a real prince, McSteamy," Cristina scoffed.

"Isn't that what I just said?" Mark asked, flashing a charming smile at Meredith.

"Whatever you say…but if I wake up with a D-cup, I'm going to let Cristina castrate you," Meredith warned.

"What about double Ds?" Mark teased.

"Mark, really!" Addison admonished.

"Alright, Meredith, I just need you to sign right here and we'll get going," Dr. Hartley instructed. "And don't forget, I fully expect to hear every blackmail-worthy detail of Garrison's scar when you wake up."

"I won't forget," Meredith assured her, her hand shaking as she signed her name as best she could. "Some surgeon I am, I can barely sign my name," she tried to joke.

"Hey, don't think like that. Things will be better when you get all those bandages off," Lexie said, as much to herself and the others in the room as to Meredith.

"I know, I know," Meredith sighed. "Mark, don't forget to send my chart to Callie, okay?"

"I will."

"Here we go," Dr. Hartley said, as she hooked up Meredith's IV.

"See you all soon," Meredith whispered, as she felt the blackness start to envelope her.

"She's out," Dr. Hartley stated as she checked Meredith's vitals. "You all should probably head home and get some sleep. There's nothing more to be done here tonight. We'll page you if anything changes."

"Come on, I'll drive you to the hotel," Addison offered as the four of them slowly pulled themselves away from Meredith's side and headed for the door.

* * *

"Are you really happy here, Addie?" Mark asked, as he and Addison walked along the beach that evening. Lexie and Cristina had opted to remain in the hotel room, leaving the two truly alone for the first time all day.

"I am, Mark, I think I really am. I wasn't at first. It was all sort of crazy for me. I mean, I went from doing two or three surgeries and half a dozen consults a day, working in a busy hospital with dozens and dozens of people, to seeing maybe two or three patients a day and working with six other people. It took some adjusting. And sometimes I miss the rush of adrenaline from surgery, but I love being able to really know my patients, being able to watch the babies I deliver grow up."

"So things are good professionally. What about personally?"

"Mark…"

"I'm just asking as a friend, Addie. Can't a friend ask a question like that?"

"Fine. Things are going well personally. I've actually been seeing this one guy for about a month now."

"This one guy? That's all I get?"

Addison laughed. "Well, what exactly would you like to know?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe does 'one guy' have a name? A job? Anything?" Mark teased.

"Kevin. Kevin Nelson. And yes, he has a job. He's a police officer."

"A man in uniform. Very nice, Addie."

"I think so."

"Okay…that's as far as we need to go. I do not need to hear about your sex life."

"Good, because I wasn't planning on sharing." Addison laughed. "What about you, Mark? Are you happy?"

"I think so. We've had some pretty fascinating cases come through Seattle Grace in the last few months. Plus, Derek and I are finally getting back on pretty good terms. Although me being mad at him for being a jerk with Meredith is sort of putting a damper on that, but we'll be fine."

"Well, I'm glad I didn't ruin the two of you completely."

"Nah. It'd take more than some woman to tear us apart," Mark grinned broadly, just to show that he was kidding.

"Some woman? Mark, I'm insulted," Addison swatted him playfully.

"Ouch! In all seriousness, though, things are good. Although my sex life could use a little jump start."

"Mark Sloan, having problems with the ladies? I don't believe it," Addison mocked.

"Fine, make fun of me," Mark pretended to pout. "I will have you know that the nurses formed a club against me. They won't even speak to me outside of professional interactions. Since they were my main source of dating material, I haven't really had a date since then. Although there is this one surgeon I've been trying to land…"

"Mark, are you still flirting with Callie? You know she's married, right?"

"Callie? Nah, I slept with Callie a long time ago." Addison's jaw dropped. "And she's not really married anymore."

"What?"

"She and O'Malley split up. I think they might pull it together and make up, though it might take a while."

"Oh. Well, who's this surgeon, then?"

"Erica Hahn."

"Erica Hahn…hold up, cardiac surgeon Erica Hahn? Colder than Cristina Yang, Erica Hahn?"

"What? She's hot. And there's something about her. I don't know, she's different than the other women I've been with, Addie."

"Have you been with her?"

"Not yet," Mark smirked. "Just give it time."

"Will you ever change, Mark?"

"I might for this one, Addie, I think I might."

* * *

Later that night, Alex Karev woke up to the heartbreaking sound of Izzie sobbing. Dragging himself out of bed, he shuffled over to her room and stepped inside, only to find it empty. He sighed, and moved across the hall, knowing exactly where he'd find her.

Just as he suspected, he pushed open the door and found Izzie curled up in Meredith's bed, tears streaming down her face. Hearing him enter, she looked up and whispered,

"What if she doesn't come back?"

Alex didn't answer her right away. Instead, he walked over to the edge of the bed, sat down and rubbed Izzie's back until her sobs calmed to quiet tears. Then he climbed into the bed and pulled her close to him.

"She'll come back, Iz, she will," he whispered into her ear.

"You don't know that, Alex."

"I do know that. She's Meredith, she'll come back. She always does."

Reassured by his confidence, Izzie laid her head on his chest and went to sleep. As he lay there, holding her close to him, he found himself unable to sleep. One thought kept running through his head, keeping him up.

_Please don't make me a liar, Meredith. Don't make me a liar._


	15. Get A Clue

**A/N:** Lots of action packed into this chapter! Callie takes a risk for Meredith, Alex gets a picture of Derek for Meredith, and someone finally sets Derek straight on how he's been acting. Thank you for the awesome reviews - keep them coming! Suggestions/requests always welcome, and if they fit with my general goals for the story, I'll do my best to get them in!

* * *

Callie Torres arrived at the hospital an hour before her shift started. She spent that hour pouring over Meredith Grey's x-rays, MRIs and chart.

"Damn," she finally muttered, tossing the chart onto the table in the lounge.

"Problem, Torres?" Erica Hahn asked as she entered the lounge.

"Just reviewing Meredith's chart, taking another look at her scans."

"I heard she had Tyler Garrison on her case. No offense, but what are you doing looking at the charts?"

"She asked me to. She doesn't trust him."

"I see. Find anything useful?"

"Nope. Everything Garrison has planned is everything I'd do. There's a small chance that she could regain function in the leg, but honestly, that chance is so small that it's practically non-existant. If this were any other patient, I'd recommend immediate amputation, which is what he wants to do."

"But for Meredith Grey you don't?"

"I don't know. I'm too close to the case, I know that. But if anyone could beat the odds, I have to believe she could. I just don't think Garrison's going to see it that way."

"But he's the best, right?"

"Yes."

"So why are you worrying? He'll do what's in the best interests of his patient."

Callie looked at the heart surgeon, amazed at how cold and attached she could sometimes be, especially since Callie was one of the few people who had seen glimpses of another side of Erica Hahn.

"Because it's not just some other patient. It's Meredith Grey. She's fought back from more than most people will ever come up against. She practically makes a career out of defying the odds. I can't shake the feeling that if he'd just give her the chance, she could do it again. But how's she supposed to do that if he cuts off her leg without giving her a shot?"

"So what are you going to do?"

Callie sighed and leaned back heavily in her chair. "I think I have to lie."

"Lie?" Erica asked in confusion.

At that moment, they were interrupted by the ringing of Callie's cell phone. Checking the caller ID, she flipped the phone open and put it on speaker for Dr. Hahn.

"Hi Mark," Callie answered.

"Miss me yet?" he teased on the other end.

"No, but Erica does."

"Callie!" Erica exclaimed.

"Aw, see? I told you that you wanted me, babe," Mark laughed.

"In your dreams, Sloan."

"Every night, Erica, every night," Mark quipped.

"It'll never happen, Sloan. Get over yourself," Erica said, although Callie could have sworn she saw a small smile playing on the surgeon's lips.

"You two are so cute. Like an old married couple," Callie couldn't help teasing the two just a bit.

"And my mother wonders why I'm still single," Erica groaned.

"As much as I love talking with you two lovely ladies, especially when we are talking about how much the beautiful Dr. Hahn wants me, I don't have a lot of time. I have a hot date with Meredith Grey in an hour. Callie, did you get the charts?"

"Yeah, I got them Mark."

"And…?"

"I wouldn't amputate."

Erica stared hard at Callie, wondering just what she was doing.

"If this wasn't Meredith, what would you say?" Mark asked, needing to be absolutely sure.

"There's a chance she could regain function. She'll probably never run a marathon, but she could get enough back to walk."

"So you wouldn't amputate?"

"I wouldn't amputate."

"Okay then. Grey keeps both legs. I'll make sure Garrison keeps the saw out of the OR. Thanks, Callie."

And with that, Mark hung up the phone and headed off to talk to Tyler Garrison. Erica couldn't believe what she had just heard.

"What the hell was that?" she asked.

"Me lying."

"You do realize how stupid that was, right? Meredith's probably going to go through months of painful rehab only to end up having the leg amputated anyway, you know that right?"

"But now she has a chance, Erica. She asked for a chance, and I gave it to her."

* * *

"Dr. Shepherd!" Alex called out as he approached the nurses' station. Derek, who had had his back to the resident, turned quickly to see who was calling him. As soon as his head turned, Alex whipped into action, snapping pictures with his camera.

"Karev! What the hell are you doing? Give me that camera right now!" Derek shouted.

"No can do, Dr. Shepherd. Sorry." Alex shrugged as he pulled the camera out of Derek's reach. At just that moment, Chief Webber walked toward the pair.

"Karev! Shepherd! What are you two doing? This is a hospital, not a playground," he scolded.

"Sorry, sir. Dr. Shepherd here was trying to steal my camera," Alex informed the chief.

"I was only trying to erase the photographs he took of me without my permission," Derek rebutted.

"Karev, is that true?"

"Yes, sir."

"And why exactly did you take pictures of Dr. Shepherd?" Chief Webber asked.

"Well, they weren't exactly of him, sir. Just his face." The chief looked at him skeptically. "Really, sir, and I had a good reason."

"Right," Derek scoffed. "Show and tell with your little friends?"

Ignoring Derek, Alex continued speaking directly to the chief. "Chief Webber, I was just fulfilling a request Meredith made. She asked me to take a picture for her. Said it might cheer her up." This last sentence he aimed in the direction of a mortified Derek Shepherd.

"Meredith requested this?" Chief Webber asked. Alex nodded. "Well, as long as that's the only use these pictures get, I suppose it won't do any harm. But if I see those pictures anywhere in this hospital…I don't want a repeat of your little photocopying adventure last year. Do you understand?"

"Yes, of course sir."

"Wait, Richard, this is ridiculous! Meredith is in a coma in Los Angeles, she couldn't possibly have asked him to take that picture!" Derek protested.

"Karev?" the chief asked again.

"She asked during the phone call yesterday, sir. I just didn't have my camera handy until today."

"There you go, Derek. She asked yesterday," Chief Webber offered.

"She called? Why wasn't I paged? I would have wanted to speak to her!" Derek looked truly shocked that no one had called him.

"Maybe she didn't want to talk to you, Dr. Shepherd," Alex sneered.

"Richard?" Derek looked at the chief pleadingly.

"I'm sorry, Derek, she didn't ask to speak to you. She's been in an immense amount of pain and she didn't have a lot of time on the phone. She only asked to speak with a small number of friends."

"How many?"

"Derek…"

"How many, Richard?" Derek's voice was stern and insistent.

"She spoke with me, as well as Drs. Stevens, O'Malley, Karev, Bailey and Torres."

"She asked to speak with all of them? She wanted to speak to O'Malley's ex-wife, but she didn't want to speak with me? What the hell?" Derek was practically shouting at this point, drawing the attention of the nearby nurses.

"Derek, don't do this here," Chief Webber cautioned as he took Derek by the elbow and led him to an empty conference room.

"Richard, this is ridiculous! I love her, but I'm not allowed to go to her when she needs me. She calls, and I'm not even allowed to speak to her? I love her, Richard, I need to see her or at least hear her voice!"

"Look, I'm not one to interfere in the personal lives of my staff, Derek, you know that. But Meredith is like a daughter to me. I will not have you making this harder on her. You and Meredith aren't a couple anymore, remember? You've moved on. From what I hear, you're seeing some nurse. You seem to have this unreasonable expectation that Meredith Grey spend her life in a holding pattern, waiting for you to decide that she finally meets your needs. Well, guess what, Derek? Life doesn't work that way! When you break up with someone, you lose the right to be involved in their choices. Don't think I haven't heard what you've said about Meredith. As an ex-boyfriend, you lost the right to judge her decisions. As a professional colleague, you never had that right to begin with. If she doesn't want to speak to you, well, I don't think there's a single person in this hospital who'd blame her."

"Now wait just a minute, Richard! Our breakup wasn't just one-sided. It was a mutual decision, she's as much to blame as I am," Derek protested.

"You don't get it, do you? It doesn't matter who initiated the breakup, whether it was you, her or both of you! You want to know why people are mad at you? It's the way you've treated her since the breakup! You claim you love her, but honestly Derek, I'd never guess that from the way you treat her. You won't let her move on. You get to go and have your relationship with the nurse, but at the same time, you keep shooting her those looks of yours, you keep trying to talk to her and be close to her, all while flaunting that new girlfriend of yours right in front of her. Don't say you don't, either, because you do. I don't know if you were trying to make her jealous, or just trying to hurt her. It's the exact same way you behaved when you chose Addison over Meredith. You expect to be able to move on with your life, but you freak if she does the same. That's why people are turning on you, Derek. Because the way you have treated Meredith Grey has been not only unprofessional, it's been unfair, hypocritical and sometimes even downright cruel. You have no right to speak to her unless she wants to speak with you, so get off your high horse and get a clue!"

And with that, Richard Webber turned and left a stunned Derek Shepherd standing alone in the conference room.


	16. I'm Scared

**A/N:** Sorry for the delay in getting this update out to you all! It is a bit shorter than usual, but I think it still has some good stuff - Meredith's surgery as well as some George/Callie interaction. Enjoy, and let me know if there are any other interactions you want to see in future chapters!

* * *

Addison, Cristina and Lexie sat nervously in the gallery, watching as the surgeons below began their work.

"Garrison looks pissed," Cristina commented.

"Mark told him he had to try to repair the leg. He wouldn't even let him prep the amputation instruments," Addison explained.

"Why?" Lexie asked, drawing looks from both Addison and Cristina. "No, I mean I know Meredith said to try to save the leg, and I agree, that should be his first priority during the surgery. But Dr. Sloan is a plastic surgeon. He doesn't know ortho. What if Dr. Garrison is right? What if amputation was the best option? I mean, he said this morning there was no chance of her regaining function, even with the repairs he could do today."

"Callie told Sloan that if she were operating, she wouldn't amputate. She says there's a chance Meredith could regain function in her leg. Meredith told Mark to trust Callie's opinion, even if it disagreed with Garrison's. I agree, it is a little odd for her to trust an ortho resident rather than one of the foremost orthopedic surgeons in the country, but that was Meredith's decision, and Meredith isn't really known for basing her decisions rational thought," Cristina told them.

* * *

The normal operating room banter between surgeons was noticably absent from the OR that morning, but things seemed to be progressing normally. The three visiting surgeons watching from the gallery quickly settled into a steady, if somewhat awkward, conversation with the St. Ambrose attendings, interns and residents who had joined them in the gallery to watch Meredith's surgery.

Two hours into the surgery, a flurry of activity on the OR floor snapped everyone's attention back to the surgery below.

"Damn it, she's coding!" Mark Sloan shouted.

"Paddles!" Melissa Hartley ordered. "Charge to 200!"

"Meredith!" Mark cried out. "Meredith, don't do this!"

_God, Meredith, not again. You don't get to do this again_, Cristina thought as she frantically leaned forward, silently willing her person to keep fighting.

Tears began streaming down Lexie's face as she realized what was happening right in front of her. _Come back, Meredith, please come back. You can't leave like this. Don't end things so unfinished._

Addison found her eyes darting back and forth between the two devastated young women next to her and the frantic, panic-stricken surgeons in the OR below her.

* * *

George slumped down on the gurney tucked away in the basement. He pulled his knees to his chest and rested his head on them, trying to block out the memory of the phone call he'd just received. This couldn't be happening, not again, not to Meredith. Not to the one person who had stood by George when he needed it, the one person who never ridiculed his choices. Yes, she'd hurt him once, but when it mattered most, she was there. She was always there. Wouldn't she always be there? Or had George just taken it for granted that she would be?

He wasn't sure how long he'd been there when he felt a familiar figure ease herself onto the gurney. Scooting close to him, she took his hand in hers and let his head fall on her shoulder.

"Was that Lexie you were talking to earlier?" she asked, sensing his distress.

"Yeah. I called to check on Meredith's surgery."

"How's she doing?"

"She's coded twice already, but they were able to bring her back. I just don't know how much more she can take, Callie."

"Oh George…I'm sorry," Callie replied as she let her own head come to rest on George's.

"I'm scared, Callie," George whispered, tears welling up in his eyes.

"I know, George," Callie wrapped her arms around him, holding him close while she tried to sound reassuring despite the tears she felt in her own eyes. "I am too."

* * *

Addison tapped her foot anxiously as she waited for the man behind the counter to deliver her coffee order. Grabbing a carrier and quickly shoving the three cups in, she hurried back towards the waiting room. She paused just outside the door as her cell phone began ringing.

Glancing at the caller ID, she quickly hit 'ignore' and continued into the room. Shortly after Meredith coded for the second time, Mark had ordered the gallery cleared; Addison knew him well enough to know what he was concerned about. The last thing Cristina or Lexie needed was to be watching if Meredith didn't make it. Even though she knew it was the right decision, she hated not knowing exactly what was going on, not being able to see every move with her own eyes, and she knew that as difficult as it was for her, it was twice as hard on Lexie and Cristina.

Lexie was standing in the corner, talking softly on her cell phone, a few tears rolling down her cheeks. Cristina sat near the window, staring absentmindedly into space. Handing them their coffees, Addison sat down by Cristina.

"Who's Lexie talking to?" Addison asked, trying to engage Cristina in small talk and take her mind off Meredith.

"Don't know. She already talked to Bambi. Maybe Karev."

"Oh." Addison could tell she wasn't going to get much more out of Cristina, who had begun to intently study her coffee. She sighed and was just about to take a much-needed sip of her own when she was once again interrupted by her phone. She didn't need to see the number to know she didn't want to take the call and she sighed in disgust.

"Him?" Cristina asked with an arched eyebrow.

"Yup," Addison replied. "He's been calling for the last hour."

"Just take it," Cristina said. Addison shot a surprised glance in her direction. "You might as well. If you don't take his call soon, he's going to get on a plane and fly down here, and then we'll have a hell of a time getting rid of him. Just tell him what's going on, and tell him to stay away."

"Fine," Addison sighed as she flipped open her cell phone.

"Addison Montgomery," she answered in a strained voice, as she quickly exited the waiting room.


	17. Love and Acceptance

**A/N:** Just as a bit of explanation, when I was writing this chapter, I really wanted to try and address the big problem in Derek and Meredith's relationship. Of course, to do that, I had to first actually figure out what that problem was! I think I've come up with a pretty good theory, if I do say so myself, which Addison explains in this chapter. I especially like the comparison she draws between the problems in her marriage to Derek and the problems in Derek's relationship with Meredith. Please review and let me know if you think I got it right!

Also, in preparation for the next few chapters, does anyone remember the name of Meredith's niece (Molly's baby)? I want to say Laura, but I could just be pulling that out of thin air. My DVDs are stuck in a box somewhere for the next few days, otherwise I'd go back and check. It's not a huge deal, but if anyone remembers, that would be great!

* * *

"Addison Montgomery," Addison answered in a strained voice, trying to hold back her anger at the man she knew was on the other end of the line.

"Addison, it's Derek."

"Well, well...Derek Shepherd, what can I do for you?" Addison replied coldly.

"Addie, don't be like this. You know why I'm calling," Derek pleaded.

"Honestly, Derek, no, I don't know. I honestly cannot think of one legitimate reason why I should be speaking to you right now, so you'd better hurry up and say what you want to say, because I am hanging up in exactly three minutes."

"How…how's Meredith?" Derek's voice cracked as he asked the question.

"She's fighting," Addison answered, deliberately being as vague as possible.

"Addison, please," Derek was begging now. "I love her, I need to know what's going on!"

"You love her, Derek?"

"Yes, I love her!"

"You know, a few months ago I might have believed that. I've got say, though, you've got a hell of a way of showing it. And you might not want to let your new girlfriend hear you professing love for your ex, either. Might not be so good for the relationship."

"Look, I know I screwed up. I just…I need her to see that I can't wait forever. I need her to see that I have other options. I really can't wait forever. I want to settle down, have a family, find someone to grow old with. Rose can do that for me; she's ready. It doesn't mean I don't still love Meredith."

"Oh shut up, Derek. Don't insult my intelligence with that moving on, settling down crap. You're a terrible liar, you know that?"

"I…"

"No," Addison interrupted, her voice rising slightly, "right now, you don't get to talk. Right now, you get to be quiet and listen to me for once in your life. If all you were looking for was someone to settle down and raise a family with, our marriage never would have ended. Because you know damn well that I was ready for that. No, you want marriage and kids, but you only want it with Meredith. You're too damn impatient, Derek, and you let that cloud your decisions. And don't you go telling me that you can't wait any longer for her to be ready. How long have you been waiting, Derek? A few months? You do realize you've only known Meredith for a year and a half, right? You and I haven't even been legally divorced for a full year, and you're already so anxious to be married again that you're willing to drop the woman you ended our marriage for? A few months and you're giving up on the woman you told me was the love of your life? A few months does not count as waiting a long time, Derek. Years is a long time, not months. Me suffering through you ignoring me for the last five years of our marriage, waiting for you to notice me, that's a long time. You dating other people for a few months? That's not a long time. Has it ever occurred to you that you might have just as many issues as Meredith does?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I think you need to figure out why you can't even manage to wait a few months for a woman you claim is your soul mate. If she's really the one, the love of your life, why do you need to rush into everything at once? Because the way you're acting, one might think that maybe you're so afraid it isn't going to last that you want to get it all done at once, push her into something she can't back out of. Real relationships are marathons, Derek, not sprints. You go too fast and you won't make it to the finish."

Derek sighed, and Addison felt herself soften just a bit as she heard him start to cry.

"Look, Derek, I know you love her. A blind man could see that you love Meredith. Love is not the problem in your relationship with Meredith."

"And I suppose you can tell me what is?"

"I think I can. It's actually kind of ironic, when you think about. It's the exact opposite of the problem we had in our marriage."

"Excuse me?" Derek asked, now thoroughly confused.

"You accepted me for who I was, but you didn't love me. You love Meredith, but you don't accept her. Love and acceptance, they're completely different things, and you can't have a healthy relationship without both of them. You may love her, but you aren't willing to accept her as she is. You aren't willing to take on dark and twisty Meredith, you only want bright and shiny Meredith. You love her, but you won't accept her until she meets your idea of what she should be. Guess what, Derek? It doesn't work like that. People can change, but they have to do it for themselves, not for anyone else. You either have to love and accept her as she is now, recognizing that she may or may not ever completely get over her issues, or you need to let go once and for all."

"Addison, did you become a psychiatrist without telling me?"

"One of the many benefits of being part of a complete-wellness practice, Derek. Total access to an excellent psychiatrist."

"Can you just tell me how Meredith's doing?"

"You want me to be honest?"

"Yes…I just need to know."

"It's touch and go right now. She's still in surgery, Mark's doing everything he can, but she's coded twice since she went in."

"Oh God…" Derek choked out, sobs overtaking his body.

"They managed to get her back quickly each time, so there shouldn't be any long term damage from the codes."

"How is she doing now?"

"I really don't know. They cleared the gallery after the second code, so right now, we're just waiting like any other patient's family would. It's been about fours since we left the gallery. I'd say they should be finishing up soon."

"I…I should come down…I should be there…"

"No, Derek. She's not alone, I promise you that. Cristina and Lexie are by her side all the time, Mark's heading up her treatment now, and I'm not going anywhere either."

"But I…"

"Derek, right now Meredith needs to heal, emotionally as much as physically, and she can't do that with you hovering over her all the time. She needs space, and you need to back off and give it to her for once. When she goes back to Seattle, if she wants to see you, then you can see her. Please, Derek, just give her the space she needs until then."

"Okay," Derek conceded.

"You need the space, too, Derek. She's not the only one with some emotional healing to do, remember? Think long and hard about that acceptance thing."

At that moment, Addison looked up and saw Mark walking towards her.

"Listen, Derek, I have to go. Think about what I said, okay?"

"I will. And thank you, Addison…for everything."

"Goodbye, Derek."

* * *

Hanging up the phone, Addison anxiously retreated into the waiting room, where Mark was waiting for her with Lexie and Cristina.

"Well?" she asked breathlessly.

"She's in recovery now. She gave us a few scares, but she pulled through and we managed to get as much done as we had hoped. If everything goes smoothly over the next twenty four hours, we'll go ahead and schedule the next surgery for Wednesday morning. Barring further complications, that should be enough time for her body to prepare for the stress of another surgery."

"Will she…will she wake up before then?" Lexie asked nervously.

"No. If we were to wake her up now, she'd be in even more pain than she was before we put her into the coma. We'll need to keep her sedated at least until after the next surgery, probably longer."

Mark paused to let the information sink in, noting the looks of fear in each of their eyes, wondering if they could see a matching look in his eyes.

"She'll be in recovery for a few hours, then they'll transfer her back to her ICU room, where you can visit her. You're all doctors, so I don't need to tell you that she may or may not be able to hear you while she's out, but it can't hurt to talk to her and let her know that we're here."

The three women nodded solemnly, having suspected they'd be told something like that.

"Have you three eaten anything besides vending machine crap today?" Mark gestured to a small pile of wrappers on the waiting room table. One look at the three of them carefully studying their shoes gave him his answer. "That's what I thought. We've got a few hours before there's anything for us to do here. Let me go change and we'll grab lunch, my treat. Not every day Mark Sloan gets to have lunch with three pretty ladies," he teased before heading towards the locker room.

* * *

"So, Addison, why was McBastard calling?" Cristina asked bluntly while the four of them waited for the waiter to bring their lunches.

"He called?" Lexie asked, stunned. "Please tell me you didn't take the call!"

"I did," Addison replied. "He wanted to know how Meredith was doing. He was concerned."

"I'll bet!" Cristina scoffed. "Did you tell him to go to hell?"

"He still loves her, Cristina," Addison said gently. "He just doesn't show it very well. He's confused. I told him her condition as I knew it. He wanted to come to L.A."

"Well, he better not try to show his face here, because I don't think I'd be able to stop myself from breaking his face," Cristina grumbled.

"I think Lexie beat you to that one, Yang," Mark laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

"Someone had better have a picture of that, too," Cristina smiled. "I'm pretty sure he's never going to live that one down. How's your hand today, Lexie?"

"Much better. Hopefully a lot better than his face," Lexie grinned.

"What the heck are you three talking about?" Addison asked.

"Didn't we tell you?" Mark asked. "Little Grey beat the crap out of your ex-husband yesterday."

"In the middle of the freaking hospital. I mean, we're talking seriously maybe one hundred yards from the chief's office," Cristina added. "It was beautiful. I've never been prouder of one of my interns." Turning quickly to Lexie, she added, "You repeat that, and your face will match Shepherd's, got it?"

Lexie nodded and then looked down, embarassed. "I just sort of snapped. He called Meredith a whore! I mean, she's fighting for her life and he's calling her horrible names? I only hit him once."

"Knocked him straight to the ground, too," Cristina filled Addison in. "I wouldn't be surprised if she broke his nose."

"Okay, I get that he's been acting like a jerk, but you actually hit an attending in the middle of the hospital?" Addison asked, clearly quite shocked.

"Don't worry, Addie. I talked to Richard and set things right. Apparently, everyone who was in the area at that time has found themselves surprisingly unable to remember seeing any fight. Without proof it was her…well, who would believe that sweet little Lexie could really beat up an attending?"

"Might even be a bigger story than when Bambi beat up Evil Spawn," Cristina offered. The other three stared at her with confused expressions. "Right, that was before any of you arrived. Sorry…it was pretty damn funny, though. Never thought Bambi had it in him, but Karev didn't even get a shot in."


	18. Starting Fresh

**A/N:** I want to apologize for the delay in getting this update to you, and to let you know that there may be some more delays in the days ahead. I had several chapters written and ready to go, but my computer crashed...the computer itself is now unusable, and I am just praying when I go see the tech people tomorrow they are able to recover some of my data.

In the meantime, enjoy this quick update while I pull out my hair and scream at the computer deities and get accustomed to my new computer.

* * *

When they arrived back at the hospital, Addison, Mark, Lexie and Cristina headed straight for the ICU. A nurse informed them that Meredith had been transferred back from recovery just a few minutes before.

They settled into their seats around Meredith's bed in an awkward silence. None of them were quite sure exactly what they were supposed to be doing there since Meredith was in a coma, but none of them wanted Meredith to be left alone, either.

Not long after they arrived, a nurse came by to deliver several floral arrangements that had arrived for Meredith that day. She carefully arranged them near the windowsill before leaving the room.

Walking over to them, Mark began reading the cards to see who was sending flowers.

"Richard," he announced as he finished the first card.

"Aw, my favorite people…the surgical nurses," he smiled as Addison laughed.

As he opened the third envelope, Mark couldn't stop himself from laughing as he viewed its contents.

"What's so funny, Dr. Sloan?" Lexie asked curiously.

Mark grinned as he read the note out loud.

_Hey Mer, Evil Spawn here. Here's the picture you asked for…I'll have you know, I had to fight for it, so I hope you appreciate it. Let it serve as proof that tiny, ineffectual fists are definitely not genetic. Take care of yourself and come back to us soon. The house is much too quiet without you, and I think Izzie may soon have enough brownies to feed the whole city. We all miss you! Oh, and tell Sloan I'm taking good care of the nurses for him while he's away. –Alex_

"Lexie, I believe this was your doing, correct?" Mark asked through his laughter as he held up a small photograph of Derek's stitched up face and bandaged nose.

"Good Lord, were you a boxer in a previous life, Grey?" Addison asked, both amazed and amused that Lexie could have done that much damage.

"I'm sure it looks worse than it is," Lexie tried to reason as everyone once again broke in laughter.

* * *

"Good evening, Chief," Olivia called out as Richard approached the OR board to examine that evening's surgery.

"Hello, Olivia. Everything going smoothly this evening?"

"As well as can be expected, sir. I've been rescheduling all of Dr. Sloan's electives that were scheduled to be this week or next. Other than that, a normal day, although everything seemed a bit hectic, what with us being down two residents."

"Yes, well, I certainly appreciate all the extra work that everyone is putting in right now. These next few weeks will be quite busy, I imagine."

"Yes sir. Have you heard anything on how Dr. Grey is doing, sir? There was a rumor earlier that she had flat lined this morning?"

"Yes, that's correct, Olivia. It was during her surgery this morning. She's pulled through, however, and is recovering well right now. I spoke to Dr. Sloan not too long ago, and he seems encouraged by the improvements in her vitals over the last few hours."

"That's a relief, sir. I guess I don't need to tell you how the gossip around here sometimes gets blown out of proportion…the things I was hearing were getting a little horrific, to be honest," Olivia replied.

The chief nodded, not really wanting to hear what the nurses were saying about Meredith.

"Any idea when she'll be able to come home, sir?"

"Not just yet, I'm afraid. Dr. Sloan and the team in LA will reevaluate after her next surgery."

"I see. Well, if you speak to her, sir, let her know that we are all thinking of her. We sent her some flowers this morning…_almost_ all the nurses contributed," Olivia said, placing extra emphasis on 'almost' and leaving little doubt in Richard's mind as to who the holdout had been.

"I'm sure she'll appreciate it very much, Olivia," Richard replied before heading back towards his office.

* * *

"Callie!" Izzie called out as she rushed after Callie, who appeared to be doing her best to ignore Izzie as she walked towards the locker room. "Hold up a second, would you?"

"Dr. Stevens?" Callie turned and asked, just a hint of bitterness in her voice. "What can I do for you?"

"Well, I was just wondering…I'm going to be having a dinner tonight, not a lot of people, probably just me, Alex, Dr. Bailey, George…and I thought maybe you'd like to come?"

"Excuse me?" Callie wasn't sure which was more shocking to her, the fact that Izzie Stevens was inviting her to a dinner party, or the fact that Dr. Stevens seemed to actually think Callie might come.

"I know, I know, you hate me. But I just figured, we all have the night off, and we're all going to be sitting around worrying about Meredith, so we might as well all be sitting around together. And I baked most of last night, so we've got plenty of food. Plus, it's Meredith's house, so there's plenty of tequila handy."

"Izzie, I appreciate the thought, but I'm not sure that's such a good idea," Callie replied hesitantly.

"Please? I know things are really awkward right now, and that's totally my fault. And I just thought, I know it's way too late and all, but maybe we could try to start fresh?"

"You want to start fresh now?"

"Please? I know I messed up, and I know you got hurt, but we have to work together, and like it or not, George is still pretty head over heels for you, though he's too embarrassed to admit it right now, and I never really took any time to learn to like you, which was totally unfair to you, and in the end I messed up my relationship with my best friend, ended up with a boss who hates me and now I need to try to set things right…God, I'm starting to ramble and sound like Meredith!"

Callie laughed just a bit. "Okay, I'll come, but you'd better buy extra tequila, Stevens, we'll probably need it."


	19. Cupcakes and Tequila

**A/N:** This chapter is entirely in Seattle, at Izzie's dinner party. As a warning, I may or may not get an update up tomorrow...I wasn't able to retrieve my saved chapters from my old hard drive (although I did get my pictures, thank goodness!), so I'll be alternating writing chapters for this story and for my Bones story until I build up a bit of a buffer again. Thank you in advance for all your patience and for your reviews!

* * *

"Good Lord, Iz, bakeries don't bake this much in one night!" Alex laughed as he walked into the kitchen and surveyed the wide selection of muffins, cakes, breads and brownies that covered almost every countertop.

"I happen to be having people over for dinner, Alex. I have to feed people something," Izzie retorted.

"Right. And just what here qualifies as dinner food? I see breakfast and dessert."

"That's why I'm the creative one and you're the…well, I'm still trying to figure out your good trait, but I'm sure you've got one buried in there somewhere. Anyway, I figured I've got a ton of fresh bread, so I just picked up some deli meats and veggies. We're having sandwiches, just something light because really, everyone's coming for tequila and cupcakes," Izzie replied, swatting Alex's hand away from a bowl of frosting.

"I think I should be insulted," Alex pouted.

"Aw…but you can't stay mad at me for long, because I control the cupcakes," Izzie teased just as the doorbell rang. "Now be a good boy and go answer the door while I take out the last batch of brownies."

Alex laughed as he walked to the door and let in Dr. Bailey.

"Dr. Bailey, come on in," Alex said.

"Smells like freaking Martha Stewart moved in, Karev," she commented.

"Yeah, well, I think you remember what happens when Izzie gets upset."

Bailey nodded, remembering the last time she had been in this house, in that kitchen with Izzie, a few days after Denny Duquette's death.

As they made their way towards the kitchen, they heard the front door open and slam closed.

"Who let Izzie near the kitchen? You know that's like letting an alcoholic near a bottle of scotch when they're upset, right?" George joked as he too moved towards the kitchen.

Izzie looked up from frosting still more cupcakes as they entered. Bailey and George let out low whistles when they saw the immense array of foods she had managed to bake in such a short period of time.

"You know, I really need to talk to Meredith about us getting another oven in this kitchen. One just really isn't enough," Izzie commented as she stuck another batch of muffins into the oven. Surveying the group before her, she smiled. "Good, we're almost all here. I think we'll wait for everyone before we crack open the tequila. Alex, can you grab the meat out of the fridge, please?"

"Who else is coming?" George asked, just as the doorbell rang.

"Why don't you go answer the door and find out, George?" Izzie asked.

George shrugged and headed off to the front door.

"Callie?" George asked as he opened the front door. "What are you doing here?"

"Izzie invited me, although I'm not really sure why. Do you want me to leave? I don't want to intrude."

"No! No, come on in. I'm glad you're here. Everyone's in the kitchen."

"Thanks George."

"Hi Callie!" Izzie called out. "What's in the bag?"

"Oh…well, I wasn't sure how much you'd have left, so I picked up some tequila."

"Dude, Torres, you rock," Alex commented, taking the bag and putting it near Meredith's stash, which Izzie had dragged out for the evening.

"That's really nice of you, Callie," Izzie added, surprising everyone with the sincerity in her voice. Turning to Alex, she continued, "Now that we're all here, Alex, go ahead and put the meat on the table. I figured we needed to eat a lot of baked goods tonight, so I thought we'd just do sandwiches. The real highlight, of course, will be the tequila and the dessert."

* * *

Two hours later, they were all sitting around the living room, stuffed full of baked goods and moving on to their second bottle of tequila. By now, the conversation had turned to Meredith, and they were taking turns sharing 'crazy Meredith' stories as they passed the bottle around.

"What was it, our second week on the job, when that girl came in – the one who'd been raped in the park?" Alex began.

"Seriously?" Izzie exclaimed. "Rape victim is your idea of a funny story?"

"Can I finish?" Alex asked, slightly exasperated. "Remember how she bit off his penis and Meredith had to carry it around all day? I mean, come on, Meredith asking the chief what she was supposed to do with a penis? You can't tell me that wasn't the least bit funny, Iz."

"Give me a few more shots, Karev, then it'll be funny," Callie said.

"Personally, my favorite was the time when Alex failed his boards," Izzie added.

"Hey!" Alex shouted, slightly offended, as he grabbed the bottle away from Izzie.

"No, I mean, okay, in hindsight, it was a bit funny that cocky, holier-than-thou Evil Spawn failed his boards. But seriously, I just loved how Meredith stood up for you. I mean, she freaking screamed at me and forced me to study with you. I think that was when I first realized just how loyal Meredith was."

"Even when she really had no reason to be loyal to me," Alex observed.

"Well, I guess Grey's just a better person than you, ain't she, Karev?" Bailey piped up.

"No argument there, ma'am," Alex readily agreed.

"My first real encounter with dark and twisty Meredith…I'll never forget it," Callie said. "Maybe you remember this, Izzie…right after George and I started going out, I was cleaning up after removing a cast. You were assisting me, and all of a sudden, Meredith Grey bursts into the exam room like a mad woman, ranting that she needs something to break. She grabbed a mallet and just started pounding away at the plaster cast sitting on the table. I mean, I never thought I'd see that much aggression coming out of that little body…it was crazy intense. Never did figure out what had her so upset, but I assume Shepherd had something to with it."

Izzie laughed. "Yeah, I remember that…she even had me scared that day. Actually, though, I'm pretty sure that was one of her few freak-outs that McBastard didn't have anything to do with. That was the day she found out her father had a new family…she met her sister for the first time."

"That's right, it was right around the time Molly showed up," Bailey agreed.

"You were so pissed at us that day, Callie," Izzie observed.

"Was I?"

"Oh yeah. Meredith, I think you were still mad at her for the whole George situation. And me, well, I'd been pretty much a bitch to you, so I guess that's why you were pissed at me. That was the day we figured it out though."

"Figured what out?" Callie asked.

"You and George. We figured it out, that George was your McDreamy."

George gagged on his tequila. "What?!"

"Oh don't worry, it didn't have nearly as many bad associations back then as it does now," Izzie assured him. Callie just laughed as the color rose in George's face.


	20. Definitely A Grey

**A/N:** Hmm...not a lot of reviews on the last chapter, I hope that doesn't mean you all didn't like it!

For this chapter, we're back in Los Angeles. I've decided to include some of Meredith's memories in these next few chapters. I have no idea what actually goes on in someone's head while they're in a coma, but I'm going to assume that even if Meredith doesn't remembering hearing or thinking about anything when she wakes up, her mind isn't completely inactive while she's out. Sort of like how even though you don't always remember your dreams, it doesn't mean you don't dream. I'll try to be pretty clear when I'm introducing a memory, but let me know if there's any confusion!

* * *

Molly Thompson was not entirely certain what she was doing in Los Angeles. Certainly, she knew what Lexie had told her over the phone. Their sister was in an accident, and was now in the hospital. From what Lexie had said, it was pretty serious. What Molly couldn't figure out was why she had felt the need to drop everything and fly down to California. It wasn't as if she and Meredith were close; in fact, the only time she'd met Meredith was when she herself was a patient at Seattle Grace, and then she hadn't even known she was her sister. So what had compelled her to leave her daughter with her in-laws and jump on the first flight she could get, why she was currently standing in the lobby of a very expensive-looking hospital arguing with a security guard, was a complete mystery.

"I'm sorry, ma'am, I can't let you up without a badge, and I can't give you a badge unless you are on the list of approved visitors, which I'm afraid you aren't," the guard explained for the second time. It was much too early in the morning for this argument to be taking place, but Molly was not backing down. Being essentially a single mother to an infant, Molly had grown accustomed to operating on little to no sleep.

"What is this, the CIA? She's my sister!" she snapped at the guard.

"I'm sorry, ma'am. You can take this up with hospital administration if you feel that there's been some sort of mistake, but until then, I can't let you up to the ICU."

Molly sighed and rested one elbow on the counter as she began digging through her purse to find her cell phone. A familiar voice from the doorway interrupted her search.

"Molly?" Lexie called out, unsure if she was seeing things correctly. "Molly, is that you?"

"Lexie! Thank goodness, I was just about to call you."

"Molly, what are you doing here? I mean, not that I'm not happy to see you, but what about Laura? When did you get here?" Lexie asked as she walked over and embraced her sister.

"I just got in a few hours ago. Laura's with Eric's parents; they were thrilled to spend some extra time with her. I know you didn't ask me to come, but I just thought maybe I should be here…I can't really explain it, it doesn't even make much sense to me, I just felt like I had to come."

"Well, I'm glad you're here. Are you coming up?" Lexie asked, relieved to have a familiar face by her side.

"I would, but this man here says I need to be on some sort of list?" Molly said with just a hint of annoyance in her tone.

"Right. I think I can get you added, just give me a minute."

* * *

When Lexie and Molly stepped off the elevator, they spotted Mark flirting with a nurse in the hallway while Addison stood nearby chatting with Dr. Hartley.

"Hey, that one's kind of cute," Molly whispered to Lexie, nodding in Mark's direction.

"Molly Thompson, do I need to remind you that you have a husband?" Lexie laughed.

"Hey, married is not blind, Lex. He looks really familiar, too," Molly commented.

"He's a plastic surgeon at Seattle Grace. He's in charge of Meredith's case," Lexie informed her sister.

Molly nodded, catching sight of the redhead nearby. "Is that Addison Montgomery? What's she doing here?"

"You know her? She lives here in LA, but apparently she used to work in Seattle. She's a friend of Meredith's."

"She delivered Laura," Molly said.

"Seriously?" Lexie asked, realizing that nothing at this point should surprise her. Everyone knew everyone somehow when it came to Seattle Grace.

"Yup. Small world, huh?"

"I'll say," Lexie muttered.

"Grey, you and your new friend going to stand there gossiping all morning or are you going to come over here and introduce me?" Mark interrupted their conversation. Lexie laughed, and motioned for Molly to follow her as she made her way towards where Mark stood.

"Dr. Sloan, this is my younger sister, Molly Thompson. Molly, this is Mark Sloan, the surgeon in charge of Meredith's treatment."

"It's nice to meet you, Dr. Sloan," Molly said as she extended her hand for Mark to shake.

"Always pleased to meet a beautiful woman," Mark flirted.

"Down, McSteamy. Molly's married," Lexie cautioned.

"Now, that's never stopped Mark before," Addison joked as she came up from behind the group.

"Molly's husband is an Army Ranger. He knows twenty ways to kill you using just his thumb," Lexie informed them, hands on her hips.

"That, however, has always stopped Mark," Addison laughed as a look of horror spread over Mark's face and he stepped back slightly. "Molly, it's good to see you again. How is everything with the baby?"

"Everything's going very well, Dr. Montgomery, thank you. She'll be six months next week."

"Has it really been that long?"

"Hard to believe, isn't it? She's finally sitting up on her own…I'll be baby-proofing soon, since she's about to start crawling."

"Okay, enough baby talk, you're sapping my testosterone levels," Mark pouted. "Let's go save Meredith from Yang…last I saw her, she was reading cardio articles to her. That'd be enough to send me into a coma."

* * *

"It has thusly been proven that the use of a running whip stitch to…"

"Yang!" Mark exclaimed as he entered Meredith's room. "The poor girl's already in a coma, no need to send her deeper under. If you're going to read something, why not a trashy novel like a normal woman?"

Cristina Yang looked up from her medical journal, an annoyed look on her face. Catching sight of Molly, Cristina shot a look at Lexie and Addison, unsure which of them had brought the familiar looking young woman to Meredith's room.

"Um…Dr. Yang, this is my sister, Molly. She came to see Meredith," Lexie stammered, slightly thrown off by Cristina's look.

"You're the one with the kid, right?" Cristina asked bluntly.

"Yes, I am," Molly responded. "Molly Thompson," she said as she extended a hand to Cristina, who just looked at her. "I…uh…I hope it's alright that I came. I mean, I know I wasn't exactly asked to come, so I'm not entirely sure why I did…I don't really know Meredith all that well or anything, but she is still my sister. And when I did meet her...when I was in the hospital, having Laura, she always seemed so nice…I know my mom always had really nice things to say about her...and I know Meredith hasn't really been so big on families and all of that, but I guess that's partly my dad's fault, right? I just sort of felt like I should be here…"

"Oh, she's definitely a Grey," Mark laughed as everyone turned to look at him. "What? She rambles just like the other two, maybe even worse. Plus, look at her…she looks a hell of a lot like Meredith."

Ignoring Mark, Lexie turned to reassure her sister. "I'm sure she'll be glad that you're here, Molly. She was asking about you before she went into her coma."

"She was?!" Molly and Cristina responded simultaneously, both equally shocked that Meredith would have asked for her youngest sister.

"She…she just told me that she wanted me to tell you…if she didn't make it…she wanted you to know that she was sorry she didn't get to know you too." Lexie paused as she watched the tears well up in Molly's eyes. "I told her that she'd just have to have a girls' day with us when she got back to Seattle, because there was no way she wasn't going to make it." Lexie smiled softly as she remembered Meredith's final caution. "She just said to warn you that she doesn't do bright and shiny, so don't look for that sort of relationship. In her words, she's dark and twisty."

"Dark and twisty?" Molly asked, confused by the description.

"Yup, dark and twisty," Cristina explained. "Basically, she's got issues. Daddy issues. Mommy issues. Boyfriend issues. Abandonment issues. Insecurity issues. Alcohol issues. Meredith has issues."

"So, what you're saying is, she's just like the rest of us?" Molly asked, smiling slightly.

* * *

Although her body didn't move, Meredith was, at least at a subconscious level, aware of some of the voices around her. At the sound of Molly's voice and the mention of her name, her mind shot back to six months earlier, when she had first met Molly's daughter.

_After Laura Thompson was born, Meredith did her best to avoid her sister and stepmother, which meant staying away from the nursery at all costs. In the early hours of the morning, however, she knew no one would be there, so she quietly snuck into the NICU and took a seat next to Laura's incubator._

"_Hi there, Laura," Meredith began, whispering softly into the incubator. "I'm Meredith. I guess I'm sort of your aunt. I don't really feel like an aunt, though."_

_Meredith paused and looked around before continuing._

"_Don't worry, it isn't your fault. I'm sure you're a perfectly lovely niece. I just don't even feel like much of a sister right now, so I guess I can't really be an aunt if I'm not a sister first."_

_Meredith pulled her chair closer and let Laura's hand grip her index finger._

"_I suppose you're probably wondering what I'm doing here, if I'm not really an aunt. I just wanted to talk to you about our first meeting. You know, when you were born and I sort of froze in there? Yeah, I'm sorry about that. I know, I'm a surgeon…we're all supposed to be calm and steady and rational. I swear, I usually am during surgery. Outside, not so much. But in the OR, definitely. So I wanted to say I'm sorry; you just caught me off guard in there, little one."_

_Laura moved slightly, jiggling Meredith's finger as she did so. Meredith smiled softly at the baby before she continued talking._

"_You see, Laura, I wasn't expecting you to look so…well, so much like me. I guess your mom looks a little bit like me, but still, I wasn't expecting you to look just like my baby pictures. I know, it's silly. I don't consider your mom to be my sister – I don't even know her, and I'm not sure I want to. So I thought that it would be okay for me to be in the room. I thought that if I didn't feel connected to your mom, I wouldn't feel connected to you. But I saw you and it was like looking at a picture of me. That sort of freaked me out and I didn't know what to do."_

_Meredith sighed as she looked up at the clock. Visiting hours would be starting soon, and she did not want to be there when Thatcher and Susan arrived._

"_I'd better get going, Laura. You'll have some more visitors in a few minutes, I'm sure of it. I probably won't be able to come by to see you before you leave the hospital, and I'm sure once you leave, we won't see each other again. I just needed to make sure you knew this wasn't your fault."_

_Meredith kissed her hand and placed it on top of the incubator._

"_I hope you have a very bright and shiny life, Laura Thompson."_


	21. First Time Feeling

**A/N:** Okay, I think this is the second to last chapter before Meredith's next surgery. In earlier chapters, we got the basics of what happened during her breakup with Derek. In this chapter, I wanted to have a little fun with Addison and Mark, but at the same time show you Meredith's memories of the most difficult part of the breakup. I think it should give you all a good idea of what she was thinking both right after the breakup, and at the point when she sees Derek and Rose with the house plans.

* * *

"Addison, really, do you have to take pictures of everything? Meredith's in a coma…I'm not sure it's a memory she's going to look back on with fondness," Mark teased as Addison pulled out her digital camera a few days later.

"Mark, does it look like Meredith is in this hallway? I'm just taking pictures," Addison laughed as she snapped one of Mark leaning on the nurses' station.

"Okay, pictures of me are understandable. But yesterday you were taking pictures of the nurses and orderlies. It's a little creepy...even Molly agrees, and as a mother, she's genetically programmed to want pictures of everything. It's not normal to take this many pictures," Mark added.

"Oh, but it's also oh-so-cute," a male voice interjected from being Addison. "She takes pictures when she's nervous. You should have seen her before our first date…I thought it was high school prom all over again."

Whipping around, Addison smiled when her gaze settled on the LAPD officer a few feet behind her. "Kevin," she smiled. "What are you doing here?"

"Would you believe I was just in the neighborhood?" Kevin asked as he pulled Addison into a hug and planted a kiss on her cheek. Addison shook her head and laughed.

"Not a chance, but I'm glad to see you anyway," Addison replied before turning to Mark. "Mark, this is my boyfriend, Kevin Nelson. Kevin, this is Mark Sloan, an old friend from Seattle. He's the plastic surgeon I told you about, the one on Meredith's case."

Kevin smiled. "Of course, it's a pleasure to meet you, Dr. Sloan. Addison's told me a lot about you," he added, extending a hand to Mark.

"Only good things, I hope. She's told me a lot about you as well," Mark smiled and shook Kevin's hand. "How'd you get past the security guards?"

"You'd be surprised what you can get past when you wear this uniform," Kevin said. Addison gave him a look, and he quickly added. "Not that I needed to or anything…I'm actually here on some official business," he held up a stack of medical files as proof.

"The plane crash?" Addison asked, suddenly concerned.

Kevin nodded. "How's your friend doing? Has she been awake at all?"

"Meredith's a fighter," Mark informed him. "It's been rough, but I think she'll pull through. We're keeping her sedated for now because of the pain. You working the case?"

"Yeah. Well, me and about twenty others…it's become sort of high priority," Kevin said, looking none too pleased about that fact.

"How so?" Mark asked curiously.

"You know who Ryan Sullivan is?" Kevin asked.

"He's the guy who owned the plane. Died in the crash," Addison stated.

"Any guesses as to how a thirty year old has the money for a private plane and a full-time on call pilot?" Kevin asked.

"Daddy's money," Addison replied quietly.

"More like Mommy's money, but essentially, yes," Kevin answered.

"Wait just a minute…Sullivan? As in Veronica Sullivan?" Mark asked, the pieces finally fitting together in his mind. "Veronica Sullivan, who owns half of freaking Los Angeles?"

Addison gave Mark a look, questioning how he knew the woman. He shrugged his shoulders. "What? I did her nose a few years ago. Nice lady, but not really my type."

"Female. That' s your type, Mark. Female with money? You so slept with her," Addison teased. Mark just threw up his hands in protest.

Smiling awkwardly as he observed this exchange, Kevin steered the conversation back on course. "Ryan was her only child, so she's been laying heavily on the department to give her some sort of reason for the crash. I was just going over the pathology reports with the M.E.; we were sort of hoping something would come up that would help give us a reason, but no such luck," Kevin informed them.

"A reason? You mean, like human error? You hoping the pilot was drunk or something?" Mark asked.

"We have to look at everything. Unfortunately, Ryan and your friend in there were the only ones with elevated BACs, and tox screens came back clean on everyone. At this point, we're really hoping that Meredith will remember something when she wakes up. She didn't remember much when my partner tried to talk to her last week."

"Well, her vitals have been improving, so we're hoping to be able to bring her out of the coma at some point after her next surgery, which is tomorrow morning," Mark said. "It may be a few days, though, depending on how she reacts tomorrow."

"You'll let me know?" Kevin asked Addison, who nodded and smiled. "Alright, then, I'd better go before my partner gets stir-crazy waiting in the car. I'll call you later, Addie."

* * *

Mark and Addison couldn't help but smile when they finally entered Meredith's room and found Molly and Lexie sitting on either side of the bed, heads resting on the railing, both soundly asleep.

"Okay, that you need a picture of, Addison," Mark laughed, watching as Addison pulled out the camera and snapped a shot. The flash was just enough to pull Lexie out of her sleep.

"Hey! No fair, taking pictures without warning!" she protested, waking Molly. "What time is it?"

"Around eleven. Time for you two to head back to the hotel, get some lunch and maybe take a nap. Something tells me if can fall asleep in that position, neither of you are getting enough sleep," Addison observed.

"I'm an intern. I'm not supposed to sleep," Lexie defended herself.

"I've got a six month old. I'm not expecting to sleep for another seventeen years," Molly added, earning a laugh from everyone present.

"Still, you both should go relax for a while. I think Cristina said she'd be by this afternoon…Dr. Hartley got her into the gallery for a transplant she was doing this morning, so she'll be here later to sit with Meredith. Mark and I will stay until she gets here," Addison offered.

Lexie and Molly reluctantly agreed, and soon Mark and Addison were sitting in the chairs on either side of Meredith.

"So, I talked to Miranda again this morning," Addison said, trying to make conversation. "They seem pretty overworked up there in Seattle."

"Yeah, they are. I talked to Richard last night and he said Lexie and Yang may have to go back as soon as Meredith is awake and making her own decisions again. They're not going to be happy about that, but I guess being down four surgeons slows a hospital down a bit."

"I'd say so. I'm sure it hasn't slowed down the gossip mill any, though," Addison smiled wryly.

"Oh, I don't think there's anything that could slow that down. Stevens said they're having a field day with Derek right now," Mark laughed.

"What for? I mean, besides the whole ex-girlfriend in the hospital thing or the intern breaking his nose thing?" Addison asked.

"Apparently they're running a pool on when he'll dump Rose," Mark smiled. "It seems he's had some very emotional reactions to news about Meredith over the past few days, and now they're all convinced that he wants to win her back."

"But he hasn't dumped the nurse yet?" Addison questioned.

"Not yet, but everyone seems to think it's only a matter of time. Can't say I'll be sorry to see her go, she really isn't much fun," Mark answered.

"Hmm," Addison muttered, somewhat perplexed by Derek's conflicting actions. "I'm surprised the nurses are okay with this betting pool. Shouldn't they be more loyal to Rose?"

"Well, I've always gotten the feeling that Rose was that girl in school – the one that you didn't really hate, but you also didn't really want to be friends with either. The one who sort of just blends in until one day she does something really spectacular or really stupid – or both – just to get noticed. So she's not the most popular nurse. Plus, apparently the nurses took up a collection for those flowers," Mark waved his hand at the windowsill, where the collection of flowers for Meredith had grown steadily, "and Rose was the only one who wouldn't contribute. A lot of the nurses, even Debbie, really like Meredith, so they weren't too please. You know Debbie runs a pretty tight ship with her nurses, and when she decided she'd side with Meredith over Rose, that pretty much sealed it."

* * *

As Mark and Addison continued their analysis of Derek and Rose's future, Meredith's mind flashed back to an evening a few weeks earlier.

"_Come on, Meredith, you haven't been out with us in weeks! What else are you going to do, go home? Come to Joe's with us, we'll have fun!" Izzie pleaded with Meredith as they finished their charts in the lounge._

"_Iz, I'm not in the mood to drink tonight. I'm tired and I need to sleep. I'm just going to go drop these charts at the nurses' station and head home for the night. You guys have fun, though. Maybe next time," Meredith replied, although Izzie suspected that every next time would get the same response. Izzie sighed and walked off to the locker room alone._

_Meredith knew her friends were concerned, but she was determined that this time, she wasn't going to fall into the same patterns she always did. She was working hard and that was her focus right now. She may not have been as ready as Derek wanted, but she had matured, and she wanted him to see that. She needed him to see that she wasn't the same insecure person that she'd been after he had chosen Addison. There would be no drinking binges, no string of one-night stands. Things were going to be different this time. Part of her wanted to prove to him that she was stronger than he gave her credit for; another part just didn't want to give him anything else to hold against her if they ever got back together._

_As Meredith walked in the direction of the nurses' station, her heart skipped ever so slightly when she saw Derek Shepherd leaning on his elbows, talking softly to Rose as they poured over what Meredith assumed from afar was a patient's chart. They seemed to be deep in conversation, not even looking up as Meredith approached the other side of the station. _

_It was only when she reached the counter that Meredith saw what they were actually looking at, and she felt her heart breaking all over again. Looking over the edge of the counter, she could see that those weren't charts. No, Derek and Rose were pouring over blueprints. House plans._

_Their house. Derek had told Meredith that he wanted to build that house with her. Yes, she had freaked out when he showed her the plans. After all, they'd only just begun to rebuild a steady, exclusive relationship. That didn't mean that she didn't want the house, though. She did. She wanted it all – the house, the marriage, the happily ever after. She wanted it with Derek. And now he was giving it to Rose._

_Meredith couldn't help the tears she felt welling up in her eyes. A few weeks ago, those had been plans for her future. Now, Derek was handing that future to Rose. Was it really possible to fall out of love that quickly? To fall in love with someone else that quickly? _

_In that moment, Meredith took a sharp breath as she felt a rush of realization come over her. She'd been wrong…horribly, terribly wrong. Seriously, devastatingly mistaken. In that one simple act, Meredith saw clearly that Derek Shepherd had lied. There was no way that she had been the love of his life. She must not have been 'it' for him after all. She'd believed him when he had told her those things. Maybe he'd believed them too. The fact that he could move on like this, though, proved to her that even if he had loved her, he wasn't truly in love with her. She wasn't his 'one'._

_As Meredith quickly deposited her charts and fled from the station, she knew that wasn't even the most painful part. No, the part that hurt the most was that, even if she hadn't been 'it' for him, she was still fairly certain that he was 'it' for her. He could move on; he could find happiness with Rose. Meredith knew that she could find other guys. She would find men to fill that space in her heart one night at a time. At that particular moment, though, she couldn't bring herself to believe that she'd ever love like that again._

_For the first time in their relationship, she truly felt that it was over. She'd said it before, many times, but she'd never actually felt it before that moment. This was it, though. They were really and truly over. For the first time, Meredith felt her heart break, really break, as she realized that the Derek she'd fallen in love with that night in the bar was never coming back to her. Even if Derek Shepherd himself walked up to her the next day, asking her to take him back, her McDreamy was gone and couldn't come back._

_As she burst into the locker room, Meredith felt her self-control slip as the tears began streaming down her face. She looked around desperately for Izzie, but found herself alone in the room. Slumping to the ground in front of her locker, she buried her head in her hands and sobbed._

* * *

"_Meredith! You came!" Izzie waved a beer bottle in the air and shouted when Meredith finally walked into Joe's an hour later. Meredith walked over, but found herself unable to match Izzie's enthusiasm or return her smile as she silently slipped onto the barstool between Alex and George._

_Joe quickly walked over, a bottle of tequila in one hand and a shot glass in the other. "It's good to see you, Meredith. You haven't been around for a while," he observed, smiling as he poured her a shot._

"_Been busy being stupid," she said sullenly. "You may as well just leave the bottle tonight, Joe."_

_Joe shot a questioning glance at her friends, which irked Meredith, who resented the fact that her friends seemed to feel as though they needed to babysit her._

"_Might as well, Joe. She's got a couple bad weeks to catch up on," Alex said. "We'll take care of her." Joe shrugged, leaving the bottle as he hurried off to take care of some other customers._

_Meredith was extremely grateful that no one asked her any questions until she was at least four shots in. If she was going to have to relieve her pain and humiliation, she was glad that she could at least be partially numb when it happened. Eventually, the questions did come. Meredith knew she was answering them, but found herself so detached from the situation, she couldn't even remember what exactly she had said._

* * *

"You really think he's going to stay with nurse that long, Addie?" Mark asked, incredulous at Addison's suggestion that Derek would stay with Rose for several more weeks.

"You know him as well as I do, Mark. Look at how he treated me. He has this delusion that if he waits long enough, his feelings will pass. I think he's bought into that again. He's torn, sure, because of Meredith's accident, but it doesn't change the fact that he doesn't think she's going to have changed."

Mark was about to respond, but a sudden alarm from Meredith's monitors interrupted him. In an instant, both Mark and Addison were at the machines, trying to find the problem. A nurse rushed into the room and pushed them out of the way.

"Heart rate's rising, BP is through the roof," she called out as Dr. Hartley hurried into the room.

"Something's upsetting her," Dr. Hartley explained. "Chances are, she's just experiencing a memory flash, but we need to calm her down before her BP gets any higher."

"Meredith?" Mark started calling to her. "Meredith, it's alright. Everything is going to be just fine, Meredith. Meredith, you just need to calm down, okay?"

Slowly, Meredith's heart rate returned to normal and her blood pressure began to stabilize. Everyone in the room let out a breath they hadn't realized they'd all been holding.

"What do you suppose she was remembering?" Addison asked.

"Well, that's not hard to say…my guess is it had something to do a certain ex-husband of yours, Addie," Mark sighed, still holding tightly to Meredith's hand. "He really did a number on her this time."


	22. Waiting and Hoping

**A/N: **Thanks so much for the reviews! I am so happy you all are enjoying the story! With this chapter, we're about to shift into another stage of the story, as we slowly move towards Meredith coming back to SGH. I hope you like it!

* * *

"I can't believe you actually want to watch that," Molly asked, slightly disturbed by Cristina's eagerness to get into the gallery during Meredith's surgery.

"Watch it? You do realize that _that_ is what both your sisters do day in and day out, don't you?" Cristina asked.

"Well, technically, I'm an intern, so you don't let me cut yet, Cristina," Lexie teased, before being silenced by a sharp glare from Cristina.

At that moment, Addison walked back into the waiting room. "The nurse says that they're all set and are moving her into the OR as we speak," she informed them. "Now we just wait."

"Why can't we be in the gallery?" Cristina asked anxiously.

"You know why, Yang. You saw what happened the last time, and that's not something that you, Lexie or Molly needs to see. So, we'll all wait here like any other patient's family and friends would."

Cristina sighed as she slumped back down into a chair, nervously drumming her fingers on the armrest. Addison could tell it was going to be a very long morning.

* * *

George sat on the gurney tucked away in the basement tunnels, nervously staring at the cell phone sitting at his side. He both wanted it to ring and desperately did not want it to. An update this early would mean something was wrong. At the same time, having no idea what was going was driving him absolutely crazy.

He was so wrapped up in his own thoughts that he didn't even notice Callie sitting down next to him until he felt a cup of coffee being pressed into his hands.

"Thanks," he mumbled as he eagerly took a sip. He'd been up early, just in case Lexie called with an update, and falling asleep during rounds would not be good, especially since he was working directly under Dr. Bailey that week. Meredith and Cristina's interns were being rotated between all the residents, including the chief resident, until Cristina returned and it was determined whether Meredith would be returning to the program that year or not.

Callie leaned back against the wall and looked over at him, taking in his appearance.

"Heard anything yet?" she asked, not needing to specify what she was talking about.

"Not yet. Lexie called when they took her into pre-op, but I haven't heard anything since then. Sloan asked for a closed gallery this time around, though, so they won't know anything until she's done."

"Mark's going to do a great job, I'm sure," Callie tried to reassure him. "And I took a look at her latest flims…Garrison did a fabulous job on the leg repair. That really couldn't have gone better, which is good for Meredith."

George nodded, and the two fell into an awkward silence. As she watched him, Callie felt her breath hitch slightly as she noticed a tiny glimmer of gold peeking out from underneath his scrub top.

_No, it can't be…can it?_ Callie thought to herself. _Is he really wearing his ring?_

George didn't know the reason, but he noticed her hand instinctually fly to her neck to finger her own wedding ring.

She was about to mention it to him, when they were interrupted by the sound of approaching footsteps.

"So, Shepherd's letting me scrub in on his hemispherectomy this morning," Izzie chirped in forced cheerfulness as she approached the pair, with Alex trailing slightly behind her.

"That's great, Izzie," George replied, quickly looking back at his cell phone.

"I think he just thinks it'll make me more likely to tell him what's going on with Meredith," Izzie theorized. "Fortunately, I don't mind being used, and I don't intend to talk, either. Unless he lets me do something crazy, like do the whole thing solo, that is."

"Good to know you have standards, Iz," Alex laughed. "And you know you'd probably kill the kid if you did that surgery alone, right?"

"It was a joke, Alex. Sarcasm? Maybe a bit to complex for your tiny brain? Too bad Shepherd can't give brain implants, because you'd be a prime candidate," Izzie teased right back, as Callie and George looked on with amused expressions on their faces.

"Oh! I almost forgot," Izzie exclaimed, holding up a basket no one had noticed her carrying. "Anyone want a muffin? We've got blueberry, banana nut and chocolate chip. There were raspberry scones, but Alex and the nurses ate them already."

"Dude, they were good," Alex shrugged. "It's not like you won't be making more over the next few weeks, I'm sure."

Izzie smacked him as George and Callie dug into the treats in the basket. Just as they were about to start eating, though, they were interrupted by a stern voice echoing through the halls.

"Does this look like a breakfast café to you? Don't you people have lives to be saving?!" Dr. Bailey scolded, walking up to the group.

"Sorry, Miranda," Callie said. "We were all heading up to get ready for rounds in a few minutes."

"Uh huh, sure you were," Bailey said, reaching into the basket and pulling out a banana muffin. "O'Malley, any updates on Grey?"

"Nope," George sighed, checking his phone again. "Last I heard, she was in pre-op, but the surgery should have started by now. Lexie said she'd call when it was over, or if something happened, so I guess no news is good news."

"Well, standing around here isn't going to help save anyone, so I suggest you get your behinds up to the surgical floor for assignments and rounds, now," Bailey instructed as the four of them hurried off.

* * *

"Alright, Grey," Mark said as he stepped into the OR. "Let's not have any of that coding business today, shall we?"

In contrast to Mark Sloan's first visit to the St. Ambrose OR, the nurses and other surgeons scrubbing in on this second surgery found Dr. Sloan to be friendly and quite the talker while he operated.

"Suction here, please," Mark instructed the nurse next to him. "You know, this young lady here," he nodded down at Meredith, "she's been flirting with me from the day we met...I've been playing hard to get."

The nurse laughed, having already heard the rumors of Dr. Sloan's previous romantic conquests.

"I must say, though, if she wanted me to see her naked, she could have just said so," Mark teased as he worked on the skin on Meredith's chest and shoulders. "She really didn't have to go to all this trouble on my account."

* * *

Four hours later, Mark scrubbed out and headed to the waiting room to find the four women he knew were anxiously waiting for news.

As he entered the room, they instantly sprang to their feet and rushed towards him.

"Now you see, this is what I like," Mark said. "Four women rushing me and I didn't even have to flash a McSteamy grin."

"Mark," Addison cautioned and shot him a disapproving glare.

"She's doing very well," Mark informed them, smiling as he heard the collective sigh of relief from the women. "There were no complications this time around, and her vitals are much stronger than they were after the last surgery. I've talked to Dr. Hartley, and she agrees that if things continue to go this well overnight, we'll take her out of the coma tomorrow morning."


	23. It's A Risk

**A/N:** Thank you all again for the reviews - I am so happy people are enjoying this story! This particular chapter was one that I spent a lot of time writing and rewriting...I wanted to get the Derek/Izzie interaction just right. Hope you like it!

* * *

"Dr. Stevens, would you like to clip the nerve here?" Derek Shepherd asked politely.

"Of course, Dr. Shepherd," she replied, stepping forward and performing the delicate cutting.

They continued in this manner for most of the surgery, Derek allowing Izzie to perform steps that normally a resident wouldn't dream of performing and Izzie trying desperately to remain professional and not smack Derek for his blatant attempts at surgical bribery.

"Excellent work, Dr. Stevens," Derek said when they finally stepped into the scrub room after the lengthy surgery.

"Thank you, Dr. Shepherd. It was a very educational case. My interns are especially fortunate to have had the opportunity to observe today," Izzie replied, trying hard to remain strictly professional with Derek's attempting to stare her down.

"Izzie, have you heard anything about Meredith?" Derek finally asked her.

"Dr. Shepherd," she answered coldly, "I've been in surgery with you for the last eleven hours. If I had heard something about Dr. Grey's condition, you would know it. I'm not entirely sure how her condition is any of your business, anyway."

Izzie sighed, looking at Derek's pained face before she turned and walked out of the scrub room.

* * *

"Well, everything seems to be right on track for us to take her out of sedation tomorrow morning," Dr. Hartley informed the relieved group huddled in Meredith's hospital room.

"What exactly happens when we do that?" Lexie asked, desperately trying to remember what her medical textbooks had said on induced comas.

"It's hard to say," Dr. Hartley said. "She doesn't have any significant neurological damage, so she should wake up within six hours of the time we stop the medication. That said, I've seen people awake after three hours, and I've seen some who took days to wake up. Everyone's body reacts differently, and there's really no way for us to tell how Meredith's will respond."

"But she will wake up…won't she?" Molly asked softly, a hint of fear in her voice.

"Any time we put someone into an induced coma, there is always the risk that the body will take over and keep them in that coma indefinitely. In Meredith's case, I'd say that risk is extremely small. The chances are good that she'll be awake by this time tomorrow."

* * *

Derek slumped down on the floor of the supply closet, resting his head in his hands as he contemplated just how his life had gotten so complicated and how he had gone from Dr. McDreamy to the most hated man at Seattle Grace.

When the door opened, he looked up and was surprised to see Izzie Stevens standing there.

"What do you want?" he asked, a bit more gruffly than he had intended.

She shrugged and sat down next to him, handing him a blueberry muffin. "Eat it. It's a hell of a lot tastier than that health crap you feed yourself."

He sighed and looked down at the muffin, wondering if this was some sort of peace offering, or if he was reading too much into it. He slowly peeled the paper away and bit into the muffin.

"She made it through surgery with flying colors," Izzie said quietly, not looking at Derek. "Her vitals are strong, much better than after the last surgery. Of course, this time it was just skin grafts and not anything internal. They'll bring her out of the induced coma tomorrow morning, but she'll still be on heavy painkillers. Morphine, probably," Izzie laughed slightly. "Los Angeles is about to get a lot more interesting, that's for sure; Meredith on morphine is quite a handful…but I'm sure you remember that."

Derek nodded, knowing that Izzie was deliberately studying the bottles of antibacterial soap on the opposite wall rather than look at him. He opened his mouth to say something, but she continued to speak.

"Callie reviewed the latest scans on her leg. She said Garrison did a wonderful repair job. The chances of her regaining function are still extremely small, but this is Meredith we're talking about. She thrives on beating the odds."

Izzie paused and finally glanced over at Derek, noting the relief and pain mixed in his expression.

"Her kidney function is improving steadily. They want to keep her on dialysis for a few more days, though. That's mostly a precaution at this point. Dr. Sloan thinks he should be able to finish the grafting in two more procedures, possibly three if she requires any follow-up work. They've tentatively scheduled the next one for Saturday morning, with the final one a week from today. Depending on how quickly she rebounds from those two surgeries, there's a chance they could transfer her up here by next Friday, although it's more likely they'll want to wait a little longer. Maybe two weeks from now. They'll wait until they're sure, because there's no point in taking unnecessary risks after everything she's been through."

Izzie took a breath and again glanced over to take in Derek's expression.

"If she wakes up quickly, the chief has asked Lexie and Cristina to come back to Seattle on Friday. I'm sure you've seen how overworked the residents and interns are right now, and he can't get much more leave approved for them without jeopardizing thier spots in the program."

"But then she'll be alone…"

"Assuming we get Cristina and Lexie back this week, Alex and I will have Sunday and Monday off. We've already made arrangements to go down and see her then. George has Wednesday and Thursday off, so he'll go down then. I think Callie is trying to rearrange her days off so that she can go with him. Plus, Addison and Mark are already down there, and they're not going anywhere. I don't know how long Molly's staying, but I think unless Meredith makes her leave, she's planning on staying until Meredith comes back to Seattle."

"Molly?" Derek asked, not recognizing the name.

"Molly Thompson. Meredith's sister, remember?"

"Right," Derek said uncertainly, clearly indicating that he had not, in fact, remembered that Meredith had another sister. "Well, maybe I can work out some of my days off to go down there as well."

"I don't think so. No offense, Derek, I know you are worried about her now, but you are not her boyfriend, and right now I'm not even sure if you're her friend. I'll tell her you were asking about her, but that's as close as you are going to get until she says she wants to see you. Even when she gets back here, you don't go in her room unless she gives you permission. I'm sorry, but that's the way it has to be right now. You can't just choose to care when she's hurting physically, but ignore her pain when you're ripping her to shreds emotionally, like you have been this last month. Plus, you need to take some time to think about what you're doing with Rose."

"Rose? What does she have to do with this?"

Izzie glared at him, wondering just how he could be so utterly clueless. "For the sake of your already damaged face, I'm going to pretend that you were not just stupid enough to ask me that question. As much as I don't like Rose, it still isn't fair to her for you to string her along like you did with Addison. And it most certainly isn't fair to Meredith to be professing your love for her while you're building a future with another woman. You two went through this whole song and dance back when you were with Addison. Meredith can't do that again, Derek. And don't you dare do something stupid like keep Rose around just in case Meredith says no. You need to either stick with Rose and let Meredith go once and for all - which means you become nothing more than her boss, not trying to build some weird friendship - or you end things with Rose and take a risk in the hopes that Meredith will forgive you. And Derek, it is a risk, because as much I believe you love her, and I know she loves you, I just don't know if she's going to forgive you this time. You may have already lost that shot, I don't know."

Derek sighed and hung his head. Izzie reached out and patted him on the back. Handing him another muffin she stood up and paused with her hand on the door.

"Dr. Shepherd, you are on a major blacklist right now and I'm fairly certain I could be excommunicated or something for having had this conversation, so be warned that if you tell anyone this happened, I will kill you and not think twice about it." Derek opened his mouth to protest, but Izzie silenced him with a wave of her hand. "I was raised in a trailer park. You were raised in the suburbs. I could take you without breaking a sweat."

Izzie turned back to the door, but once again paused as a final thought occurred to her. "Oh, and if you choose to break up with Rose, could you maybe wait and do it on Saturday? It would really help my bank account," Izzie smiled as she left the room, leaving a confused Derek to eat his muffin in silence.


	24. Sleeping Beauty

**A/N:** So, this chapter? Just me having some fun with a few of the characters. I figured it was about time Meredith had a little fun, so here it is. Before you ask, I don't know if the characters are moving towards a relationship or not. Probably not during this story itself, just because I don't think Meredith would be ready in the time I want this story to cover. Let me know what you think!

* * *

"I think she's waking up!" Lexie exclaimed, drawing everyone's attention to Meredith's slight movements. The five of them had been holding constant vigil all day, waiting for some sign that Meredith was finally waking up. The six hour estimate had long since passed, and as the hours wore on, they were becoming more and more nervous.

"Meredith?" Cristina asked, approaching her bedside. "Meredith, are you awake?"

"Come on, dirty mistress, it's time to rise and shine," Mark coaxed.

Meredith's eyes opened every so slightly as she readjusted to the bright lights of her hospital room. It didn't take her long to decide that, since she was likely on numerous pain medications that would provide an excellent alibi for later disavowing any of her actions, she might as well have a little fun with her friends.

"I'm not awake," Meredith protested softly.

"And just why do you say that?" Mark asked.

"Because, you promised to wake me up with a kiss. And I may injured, but I definitely know that I have not been kissed recently. So Sleeping Beauty is still asleep." With that, Meredith closed her eyes tight and relaxed into her pillow.

Lexie and Molly, standing near the doorway, couldn't help but giggle at their sister's demands.

"Hey," Molly leaned over and whispered to Lexie, "if he were offering, I'd ask for a kiss too, husband or not." This, of course, elicited another round of laughter from Lexie and a disapproving glare from Cristina.

"You might as well kiss her, Mark," Addison said. "She's not giving up."

"Right. And have Derek make my face match his? I don't so," Mark scoffed.

"She's on morphine, McSteamy," Cristina informed him. "Remember the last time she was on morphine? She won't remember it anyway, so just humor her and get it over with."

Mark laughed. "I am not kissing her with witnesses, not a chance."

"Oh, for crying out loud, everybody out," Cristina sighed, waving her hands in an exaggerated fashion. "Make it quick, Mark, and if I hear her screaming, I'll kick your ass."

Everyone exited the room, most of them dissolving into fits of laughter as soon as they were out the door.

"Do you really think he'll kiss her?" Molly asked.

"Well, he is a good kisser," Addison commented, eliciting a groan from Cristina and confused stares from Molly and Lexie.

"Better question is, why would she want him to kiss her?" Cristina asked, somewhat perplexed. "Although, I suppose I should take this as a good sign that maybe she's not so hung up on McBastard anymore?"

* * *

As they seemed to do whenever they had a break these days, Callie found George sitting on the gurney in the basement tunnels, and quietly took a seat beside him. It was almost become routine, this little game of theirs, and neither of them was eager to do anything to break the uneasy peace that seemed to have settled over their relationship.

"Any word yet?" Callie asked. Like always, their conversation started with her asking about Meredith's condition, which seemed to be a natural starting point for them to transition into conversation.

"Lexie just called a minute ago," George said. "She said Meredith is sort of awake, but not completely. Something about Sloan needing to do something before she was fully awake, but she and Molly were laughing a lot, so I didn't quite get the details."

"Well, that sounds like good news, finally," Callie said with relief. Everyone seemed to be walking on eggshells around the hospital that day, waiting for news from Los Angeles. Meredith had been taken off sedation early that morning, but no one knew when exactly she would wake up.

"Yeah. Although I don't think Cristina's going to be too happy when she remembers that this means she and Lexie have to come back to Seattle tomorrow," George said.

"We'll just have to get Hahn to give her a surgery to scrub in on, and she'll be fine," Callie mused.

George laughed, knowing that despite how worried Cristina would still be about Meredith, Callie was right that one surgery was all it would take to distract her.

"Izzie said you might go down to see her next week, right?" Callie asked tentatively.

George looked at her, momentarily thrown off by the fact that Callie and Izzie had apparently had an actual conversation of their own free will.

"Um…well, yeah, that's the plan. I'd go down really early Wednesday morning, then come back on the redeye Thursday night. Izzie and Alex are going to do the same trip this weekend."

"I heard," Callie paused for a moment, trying to figure out the best way to bring up what she was about to say. "Listen, I was just thinking…and I mean, you can feel free to say no if you think it would be awkward or something…but, I talked to Bailey, and she was willing to trade some shifts with me, so if you wanted, I could go with you. Only if you want me to, though…I'd love to see Meredith, but I don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything…so if you don't want me to go, just say the word."

"I think…I think I'd like that, Callie. Yeah, I think you should definitely come."

* * *

Mark stood over Meredith's bed, looking down at the woman lying there. He couldn't help but smile at the absurdity of the situation they found themselves in.

_Derek would kill me for this,_ Mark thought to himself. _Not that I haven't done much, much worse to him, of course. He's not even seeing her anymore. He's still with Rose. And hey, she did ask me to. Who am I to say no to a pretty woman?_

Mark couldn't deny that, even with all the bandages and the damage he knew they concealed, he still thought Meredith was beautiful.

_Come on, man, just do it,_ he silently coached himself. _This is Meredith on morphine, she won't even remember it tomorrow. Just do it!_

"Okay, Sleeping Beauty, here goes nothing," Mark smiled as he leaned down and pressed his lips to Meredith's.

Meredith's eyes opened as she sighed softly into the kiss, not quite knowing whether it was the morphine or Mark that made the moment so electric. When he finally pulled away, a small smile graced both their lips as their eyes met.

"McSteamy, are you done yet?" Cristina demanded, poking her head in the door. Catching sight of Meredith, she motioned for the others to follow her into the room. "Glad you finally decided to come back to us, Mer."

"How are you feeling, Meredith?" Addison asked, moving to the foot of Meredith's bed.

"A little disappointed, to be honest."

"Disappointed?" Addison asked, confused.

"A little," she replied, barely able to hold back a giggle. "I just assumed with your fancy reputation," she waved a finger in Mark's direction, "that you'd be a much better kisser than you actually are. Very disappointing, McSteamy."

The whole room burst into laughter at Meredith's statement, while Mark tried to pretend that he was offended by the reaction.

"You know, you really ought to watch what you say to me," he teased. "I'm the one holding a scalpel over you in that OR. You're supposed to be nice."


	25. Inside Information

**A/N:** Thank you all for the great reviews on the last chapter - the most so far! You guys are wonderful, as usual! Things are about to get pretty interesting, I think, so I hope you all keep reviewing!

Also, I'm winding up the other story I'm working on (for another show), so that means later this week I'll be starting to post one of the three Grey's stories I've been working on that I haven't started publishing yet. I just don't know which one to post. One is a Meredith-centric future fic, set about 3 years down the road, and its pretty angsty. The second one is a Mer/Alex story, starting off as friendship with the possibility of evolving into more, and its got a pretty unique twist to it that I sort of am in love with. The third one is a Meredith/Lexie sister story, a bit angsty at the start, but sort of an interesting situation to play around with. Any of these sound more interesting than the others? Let me know! They'll all get published eventually, but I like to stick to two stories at a time, so that I can really focus on keeping up with regular updates.

Okay, now that I'm done shamelessly asking for help...let's get back to our regularly scheduled programming!

* * *

Derek Shepherd was slumped down in the gallery, pretending to update charts while Erica Hahn performed a bypass in the OR below. The gallery was surprisingly empty for a cardiac procedure, but Derek attributed that mostly to the late hour. Most people who weren't on call overnight had already long since left.

In reality, Derek didn't really care about the procedure going on in the OR. He was mainly trying to avoid Rose, who seemed to be everywhere he turned the last few days. He didn't know how he was supposed to find any time to think things over when she was always there. Plus, he just couldn't concentrate when all he could think about was all the things that could be going on with Meredith. As a neurosurgeon, he knew the inner workings of the brain, and therefore, for better or for worse, all he could do was run through, over and over again, all the possible complications of a medically induced coma.

He was so wrapped up in his thoughts, he didn't notice anyone enter the gallery until the woman next to him began to speak.

"She's awake," Izzie said softly, not looking up from the chart she'd begun filling out.

Derek quickly let out a sigh of relief at the news. He knew better than to ask questions, but he hoped that Izzie was going to give him more than just that tiny morsel of information.

"She's alert, talking, all signs are that neurological function is completely normal. Things are looking good."

Derek nodded, barely able to hold back the tears of joy he felt welling up. He squeezed his eyelids shut to keep them at bay, knowing that the last thing he needed right now was to give the nurses another reason to gossip about him.

"Cristina and Lexie will be flying back tomorrow. I'll be able to get more information when I see them, I think. They'll be back at work on Saturday, but I wouldn't recommend that you try to talk to them. Alex and I leave first thing Sunday morning for Los Angeles. When I'm down there, I'll mention that you would like to speak with her. I'll only mention it once, and if she says no, that's the end of it. Got it?"

"I get it. Thank you, Izzie."

Izzie nodded and stood up, heading for the door.

"Izzie?" Derek called out, just as she was turning the handle. She looked back at him, slightly confused that he had violated her "I speak, you listen" code that had been working so well for them.

"Rose and I are both off tomorrow night. I'm taking her to dinner, so that we can…um…well…so that we can talk. If that helps your bank account at all," he added.

Izzie nodded, indicating her comprehension, and left the room, a slight smile playing at her lips as she tried not to run straight to the nurses' station.

* * *

Meredith surveyed the group surrounding her bed, her eyes finally coming to rest on Molly. Meredith's mind, still not completely clear after all the drugs that had been pumped through her system over the last week, went into overdrive as it tried to piece together how the familiar face got there.

"Molly?" she asked tentatively. When the young woman at the foot of her bed nodded, Meredith smiled slightly. Turning to Cristina, she asked, "Am I that drugged up or was she definitely not here last time I was awake?"

Cristina shrugged, and Lexie jumped in to fill in the gaps for Meredith. "I called her while you were having surgery on Saturday. I was sort of freaked out, so she came down on Sunday."

"I hope it's okay," Molly added. "I mean, I can leave if you don't want me here. I just thought…"

"No, no, it's fine. You can stay," Meredith smiled at Molly. "I mean, I guess we are sort of sisters, right?" She wasn't quite sure where this sudden affinity for family had come from. _Maybe it has something to do with near-death experiences_, she thought to herself. _After all, it was right after I drowned that I did that whole bonding thing with Susan and Thatcher. God, I just hope this one works out better than that._

* * *

"Evening, Debbie!" Izzie called out cheerily as she approached the nurses' station.

"What's got you in such a good mood, Stevens?" Debbie asked skeptically.

"What? Oh, just that Meredith woke up this afternoon," Izzie quickly backtracked, trying to cover up for her sudden good mood. "I mean, that's a really good sign. Only two more surgeries, and then maybe they'll be able to bring her home. Just happy for Meredith. Happy, happy, happy for Meredith."

"Right," Debbie shook her head and turned back to the charts she was filing.

"Oh, Debbie? You still got the book for the Derek/Rose bet?" Izzie asked.

"Yeah, I've got it," Debbie said. "You need to make a change?" Izzie nodded and turned around, knowing Debbie wouldn't move until she did. Debbie turned to the filing cabinets, unlocking the bottommost drawer with a key she kept on a chain around her neck. The contents of that drawer, which was probably grounds enough to get her fired, were a secret known only to a few nurses and doctors. Actually, only one doctor, and that was only because Meredith Grey had snuck up on Debbie one day and demanded to know why she kept a locked drawer on hospital property. This was one secret even Miranda Bailey wasn't privy to.

Debbie looked around to make sure no one was watching before pulling open the drawer to reveal the betting ledgers which she used to keep track of the various hospital betting pools, envelopes full of cash committed to those various wagers, and several books that only Debbie had ever seen the inside of. Those she used to track all the gossip she heard, as well as to store any incriminating evidence she might come across. Debbie was, after all, not known as the gossip queen of Seattle Grace for nothing.

"Okay, right now I've got you down for 50 on Saturday. You want to up that?" Debbie asked, scanning her books and looking up at Izzie.

"Actually, I want to move my date to tomorrow. Tomorrow night, actually. And I want to up my wager to 100," she added, pulling out a few crisp bills.

Debbie arched her eyebrows and looked at Izzie. "Dr. Stevens, do you have inside information?"

"What? Of course not, Debbie. Seriously, where would I get inside information? It's not as though I'd ever talk to McBastard or that woman. I just noticed that they are both off tomorrow night, so I figured if it's going to happen, it's going to happen then. Maybe Meredith waking up has me in an optimistic mood," she smiled sweetly.

Debbie nodded. "Whatever you say, Stevens. 100 on tomorrow night it is." Debbie made a few notations in her book, then took Izzie's cash and stuffed it into the envelope.

* * *

"What happened with my surgeries? Did I do alright?" Meredith asked, wondering why no one had brought them up earlier.

"Um…they were fine, Meredith. You've still got both your legs," Mark informed her.

"Now that's a plus," Meredith laughed. "Why do I feel like you're not telling me something?"

"Well…you sort of flat lined on us…" Mark said tentatively, taking a deep breath before adding, "Twice."

Meredith leaned back against her pillow, taking in the faces around her. "Oh. I sort of thought I might have known if that had happened, but I guess it wasn't long enough this time."

Addison was just about to ask her what it hadn't been long enough for when they were interrupted by the entrance of Dr. Hartley.

"Good evening, Meredith. It's nice to see you awake again," she smiled. "I just wanted to check up on you before heading out. If you keep improving at this rate, I think we can get you back to Seattle in another week or two."

"That'll be good. No offense, but I miss Seattle Grace," Meredith said.

"Well, I'll let you get some rest now, but tomorrow I'll want to have a chat with you…you owe me a story about scar on a certain orthopedic surgeon we all know," Dr. Hartley laughed, winking at Meredith.

"I'll look forward to it," Meredith grinned back at her.


	26. Learning To Live

**A/N:** Thank you so much for the great reviews! I'm sorry I haven't had a spare moment to reply to more of you personally - I will soon, I promise! In the meantime, know that I love hearing from you and getting your input, so please keep it coming!

Also, thank you for your input on the new stories. The Mer/Alex story seemed to be drifting and the characters are getting a bit too out of character for my taste, so I need a bit more time to fix that one before posting it. Therefore, I'll be starting with the Mer/Lexie story. It will be called "The Last Thing She Said," and should be up later today. I hope you'll all check it out and let me know what you think!

This chapter is sort of short, and light on a lot of details, but I just needed to move the days forward a bit and then I'll fill in more of the details that I know you guys want in the next few chapters. Enjoy!

* * *

The next morning, Meredith slowly opened her eyes to find Lexie and Cristina staring anxiously at her from either side.

"Well, its about time! You'd think after sleeping for nearly a week, you'd wake up a little earlier than eleven in the morning!" Cristina snapped.

"Huh…you'd think after being in a plane that slammed into the ground from 20,000 feet, my person would be a little more understanding," Meredith teased.

"Fine. Maybe you have a point," Cristina acknowledged begrudgingly. "But if you'd slept much more, we wouldn't have had time to say goodbye."

"Goodbye?" Meredith asked in confusion.

"I'm pretty sure we told you last night, but you are on a lot of drugs, so I'm going to let the memory slip slide by this time," Cristina said.

"Do you remember anything about yesterday?" Lexie asked.

Meredith smiled coyly, a slight twinkle in her eye. "Well…yeah, I remember a few things."

Lexie laughed and Cristina groaned, knowing exactly which "things" Meredith was referring to.

"So, why are we saying goodbye?" Meredith asked again.

"Seattle's falling apart without me. The whole hospital's gone to hell and the chief has begged us to return," Cristina said, sarcasm dripping from her voice.

"Ha!" Meredith said. "More like, you're going insane after a week of no surgeries, so you're running back to beg Hahn to let you into one."

Lexie laughed again. "The chief really did say we had to come back. Apparently everyone is pretty overworked right now, and he can't ask the residents to pull too many more double shifts."

Meredith nodded. "Got it. Well, I'm really glad you guys were here, at least for a little while. I'm sorry I wasn't more entertaining company, though."

"Are you kidding me? I like you best when you don't talk back," Cristina said.

"Very funny. Say hello to everyone for me when you get back, will you? Tell Alex I'm still waiting for that picture he promised," Meredith said.

"Oh!" Lexie exclaimed, suddenly reminded of the card he had sent. "He did send you something. Let me see," she muttered, digging through the pile of cards on the windowsill. "Yup, here it is. I think this is what you were waiting for."

Taking the picture in her hand, Meredith laughed softly. "Lexie, you seriously did all that with one punch?"

"She did," Cristina affirmed.

"Well, you sure do pack a punch, Lexie. I never would have guessed it by looking at you," Meredith smiled at her sister. "Remind me not to get on your bad side again. Where'd you learn to hit like that, anyway?"

Lexie grew quiet, staring down at her feet. "Well…I…I kind of have a black belt in karate…" Meredith and Cristina stared at her, stunned as she continued, "…and another one in tae kwon do…and I sort of taught kickboxing to earn extra money in med school."

Meredith laughed. "Cristina, my sister is a certified ass-kicker!"

* * *

Despite her best efforts, Meredith found herself sleeping through most of the day. Although not unusual given the amount of pain medication she was taking, she was still annoyed that she had lost yet another day. She vaguely remembered saying goodbye to Lexie and Cristina, and in her mind, she thought she remembered a few snippets of a conversation with Molly, but she couldn't be certain.

The next thing she clearly remembered was waking up before her surgery Saturday morning to the sounds of Mark Sloan swearing loudly into his cell phone while a nurse prepped her for surgery.

"No, that can't be right!" Mark shouted. "You heard wrong!"

He paused for a moment, obviously listening to whatever the other person had to say.

"Well, isn't there some sort of rule against inside information? She had to have cheated!"

After another paused, Mark laughed. "Fine, I guess I see your point. And yes, this is definitely better than if it hadn't happened at all."

Looking up from the phone, he smiled when he saw Meredith awake and staring at him with confusion in her eyes.

"I've got to go...Mer and I have another hot date in the OR. Talk to you later, Torres," Mark said, quickly closing the phone.

"You know, McSteamy, you have a very dirty mouth. What's got your panties so bunched up this morning?"

Laughing, Mark walked over and took the seat by her bedside.

"I lost a big bet," he sighed.

"I'm sorry. How much money did you lose?" Meredith asked, trying to sound sympathetic.

"200 bucks."

"Damn. You must have really thought you were going to win to lay out that kind of money in a hospital betting pool," Meredith replied. If her time at the top of the SGH gossip list had been of any benefit to her, it had saved her the small fortune her friends and colleagues were always losing in Debbie's betting schemes - especially Izzie Stevens, who seemed to have the worst luck at betting.

"I _was_ going to win," Mark protested. "I haven't figured out how, but she cheated. Somehow, Stevens cheated, and when we get back to Seattle, I'm going to figure out how."

"You lost to Izzie? Izzie hasn't won a hospital bet in two years, Mark," Meredith giggled, simultaneously shocked and pleased that Izzie had finally broken her losing streak.

"Shut it, Grey. I don't want to hear it."

"Well, what was the bet about?" Meredith asked, realizing she still didn't know just what Izzie had beat Mark on.

"Oh…um…well, that's not really important right now," Mark stammered.

"Which means it either has to do with me or with Derek. Since I'm here with you, if the bet were about me, you'd be the one with inside information. Since Izzie and Derek are both in Seattle, I'm going to guess it has to do with him. You can tell me, Mark, I'm not going to flip out or anything," Meredith assured him.

"It was about when he was going to end things with that nurse," Mark informed her.

"Oh," Meredith said, averting her eyes from Mark's gaze. "So Izzie won, huh?"

"Yup. He ended it last night."

"And what was your bet?" Meredith asked, once again looking at him curiously.

"Knowing Derek, I put my money on a few hours after he hears you tell him that you'll take him back and give your relationship another chance," Mark said.

Meredith sighed, a few tears appearing in her eyes. "You would have lost anyway," she whispered softly.

"Excuse me?" Mark asked, slightly confused.

"You would never have won that bet," Meredith said, her voice shaking as she looked Mark straight in the eye. "You couldn't win, because there aren't any more chances left, not for Derek and I. I'm done with living like that, waiting for him to decide my future. Third near-death experience is the charm, right?" Meredith asked, a slight laugh escaping through her silent tears. "I may not be bright and shiny, but I'm ready to do something more than just exist in a holding pattern, waiting for Derek to accept me. I need to do more than just exist, I need to learn how to live again, Mark."

As he looked at her face while she said those words, Mark found himself thinking that maybe, just maybe, Meredith Grey had finally found the understanding that all the tequila and men in the world hadn't been able to give her. _Maybe_, he thought, _it's time for Meredith to just be Meredith._


	27. Routines

**A/N:** Two chapters in as many days...I think I'm finally back in my groove! Thank you all for leaving so many reviews on the last chapter - I love hearing what you all think!

* * *

Cristina Yang felt a small wave of happiness – an emotion she quickly suppressed lest anyone notice and think that she was becoming soft – as she marched into the interns' locker room. As she suspected, her interns were sitting on the benches, eagerly describing to Lexie everything she had missed in the week she'd been away.

"Does this look like a freaking social hour, people? Have you cured every patient in this damn hospital? You're all so good you don't need to do rounds? Is that it?" she snapped as her interns jumped up and rushed to stand before her.

"One, two, you're with Dr. Torres. Three, you and O'Malley are with Dr. Heron, four, you're covering the pit," Cristina barked at the eager faces.

"Well? Are you just going to stand there? Rounds, people, rounds!" she shouted as they scurried past her to grab their charts and begin the morning rounds.

_Damn, I missed this,_ Cristina thought to herself as she followed her interns out of the locker room.

* * *

"Cristina, I am going to kill you! Meredith would never be this cruel to me, you know," George moaned as he slammed his tray down on the table at lunch. Lexie laughed as she took a seat beside him. Cristina looked up from her sandwich and glanced at Lexie out of the corner of her eye. Lexie felt her whole body relax as Cristina gave a quick, silent nod of acceptance and returned to her food.

"What'd Cristina do now, George?" Izzie asked as she joined them. "She's only been back a few hours, it can't be that bad."

"She stuck me on the damn happy patrol!" George moaned. "Seriously, Sydney Heron? You couldn't have found anyone else to assign us to? If I hear one more time that today is about healing with love, I'm going to hurl. That woman is sick. Sick, I tell you!"

"I think it's kind of cute," Lexie offered. "So what if she's a bit perky?"

George just stabbed at his salad in protest, refusing to dignify her question with a response.

"Dude, what's eating O'Malley?" Alex asked as he finally joined the group. When he noticed Lexie, he added, "And since when do we let interns eat with us?"

"I'm an intern," George explained. "Should I leave, Alex? Is that what you're saying?"

"Shut it, Evil Spawn. She stays," Cristina snapped at Alex, silencing him with a deadly stare. Alex shrugged, looking confused but not wanting to incur Cristina's wrath on her first day back, but still feeling rather uncomfortable with his former sort-of girlfriend sitting across from him.

"So, I've hardly seen you two all day," Izzie said brightly, addressing Cristina and Lexie. "How was L.A.?"

"Sunny. Too damn sunny," Cristina muttered.

"Oh. Well, sunny can be good. How's Meredith doing? I mean, I know what you all said on the phone, but really, how is she? How does she look?"

"Like she was in a plane crash, genius. She looks like she was in a freaking plane crash," Cristina said, rolling her eyes. "You'll see her tomorrow, judge for yourself."

"Fine," Izzie pouted. "I will. Hey, are you guys coming to Joe's tonight? First round is on me," she smiled broadly.

"What'd you do, win the lottery? Get another rich guy to die and leave you millions?" Cristina asked, ignoring the winces her pointed question drew from everyone but Lexie, who was not familiar with the story of Izzie's late fiancé.

Choosing to ignore Cristina's question, Izzie struggled to keep her smile from falling. "No, I happen to have won a very large bet. Shepherd broke up with the nurse last night, which happened to coincide with my prediction, so I raked in some heavy cash."

"McBastard dumped the nurse?" Cristina asked, intrigued by Izzie's bit of good fortune. "Details, Barbie, you have to share details. I know you know them."

"Well, now, this is all just what I've heard from the other nurses, so who knows how accurate it is," Izzie leaned in to make sure everyone at the table heard her. "I heard that he took her out to dinner and while they were having desert, he sort of just blurted out that things weren't working anymore and he didn't want to date her. She flipped out."

"No shit, Barbie. He promised her a house and happily ever after, and then he bailed. He seems to be good at that," Cristina scoffed.

"Is she here? I haven't seen her at all today," Lexie asked.

"Nope. Olivia said she just up and didn't show this morning. Called in sick or something. Is it wrong that I almost feel sorry for her?" Izzie asked.

"Yes," came Cristina's terse reply. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm scrubbing in on an aortic valve replaced in half an hour." With that, she stood up, leaving the others to once again dissect the intimate details of Derek's break up with Rose.

* * *

"So, who here wants a skin graft today?" Mark asked cheerily, as he reentered Meredith's room later that morning.

"Not me. Go find another patient," Meredith protested.

"Sorry, kid, you're it. My one and only patient in this whole state," Mark grinned. "Don't you feel lucky?"

"Sure. Luck's one word for it," Meredith scoffed.

"Now Grey, don't you go hurting my feelings. I'm extremely sensitive, you know," Mark teased.

"Sure you are. A real teddy bear. Now hurry up, I want to get this over with," Meredith said.

Mark pouted. "Women never say that to me," he moaned playfully, earning him a sharp glare from the nurse who was rolling Meredith out of the room and towards the OR.

* * *

A few hours later, Mark stepped out of the OR and headed once again towards the small room where he knew Addison and Molly would be waiting. Walking in, he smiled slightly as he saw Addison curled up a chair, her head resting on Kevin's shoulder. He had to admit that it was nice to see her truly happy, in a way he hadn't seen her in years, even if it couldn't be him who brought her that happiness.

He cleared his throat, quickly earning the attention of the three people in the waiting room.

"She's fine, don't worry. Everything went smoothly again. We're getting quite good at this, if I do say so myself. I always said Grey had a knack for plastics," Mark joked. "We'll schedule the next one for Wednesday. I'd say after that, give her a few days to stabilize and then we can take her home."

"When can we see her again?" Molly asked anxiously.

"She'll be in recovery for a couple of hours. As soon as they bring her back to her room, you can go in," Mark said.

"I don't want to push it, if she's not ready," Kevin said hesitantly. "But maybe one of you could ask if she'd speak with me? I'd really like to get her statement as soon as we can. They still haven't been able to pull the data off the black box, so if she can tell us anything, it would be incredibly helpful."

"We can ask her. If she's up to, she might as well get it over with," Mark agreed. "Now, I'm hungry, and if I know you girls, you haven't left this room since I took Meredith in at eleven. So, who wants to buy me lunch?"

"Buy you lunch?" Molly asked skeptically. "I'm on an army wife's salary, so don't look at me. Aren't you supposed to be the hot shot, million bucks a year surgeon?"

"Hey, my portfolio took a big financial hit this morning," Mark laughed.

"Stock market's closed on Saturday," Addison reminded him.

"Yes, but the Seattle Grace betting market never closes, my dear," Mark said. "And I lost that little bet on when Derek would dump dear old Rose, so now I'm poor. Which means you can buy me lunch."


	28. Statements

**A/N:** Well, I have an extra long chapter to thank you all for the great reviews on the last two, so please enjoy! Also, if you need something else to read and you haven't checked it out yet, my newest story, "The Last Thing She Said," is now up, so if you haven't read it, I'd love your thoughts on that one too!

Also, just as a note of explanation...I needed to figure out an actual date for this chapter, which sort of threw me for a loop, because I realized just how funky the timing is in Shonda's world. So, since we saw a Halloween episode, which I think probably took place three or four weeks Grey's-time before the events of 4.11, and we've established that the crash takes place about a month after that, I place this story sometime in the middle of January. It's probably not that important, but it drove me crazy trying to figure out all the dates, because I just know that in season 5, they're going to throw a Christmas episode at us and try to pass it off as being in the same year as season 4. Gotta love Grey's-time :)

* * *

"Dr. Yang!" Derek called out as he hurried down the hall towards the nurses' station where Cristina was watching with annoyance as Olivia erased her afternoon after surgery from the board.

_Stupid patients,_ she thought to herself._ Ruin my beautiful afternoon by up and dying before I get to cut. And stupid McBastard, ruin my beautiful afternoon by speaking to me._

"What?" she snapped, whirling to look at him with open hostility.

"I heard that your patient died. I wanted to say I'm sorry, but if you'd like, I've got a craniotomy in an hour that I still need a resident for," Derek offered, smiling at her. "I know it isn't cardio, but I also know you haven't cut in a week…and surgery is surgery, right?"

_Stupid McBastard_, she grumbled internally. _Push all the right damn buttons_.

"Craniotomy? I suppose I could do that," she agreed.

"Excellent!" Derek said cheerily. "We'll be in OR 3. You can have an intern join us if you'd like."

"Let's get one thing straight, Shepherd," Cristina said harshly. "Just because you bribe me with a surgery does not mean I don't still hate you. Just because you dumped your rebound nurse doesn't mean I don't still hate you. And it doesn't mean you get Meredith back, got it?"

"Yeah, that part I got," Derek replied, the air of defeat in his voice not passing unnoticed by Cristina.

_Who's he been talking to?_ she wondered silently. _Because I'm good, but I'm not that good._

* * *

"Hi, Meredith," Addison said softly, smiling as Meredith opened her eyes that afternoon.

"Addison, hi," Meredith replied somewhat groggily, still feeling the effects of the anesthesia from her morning surgery. "What time is it?"

"Almost four in the afternoon," Addison informed her. "Molly was just here, she went back to the hotel for a nap, but she said she'd be back with dinner. Don't tell Mark, but I think she might have mentioned something about sneaking in some real food now that you're off the liquid diet."

Meredith smiled conspiratorially, "Hey, if it means less hospital food, my lips are sealed."

"Good. Listen, I don't know if you feel up for this or not, but there are some officers here from the police department. They'd like to take your statement about the accident, now that you're not on such heavy duty pain killers. Would that be alright? Because I can tell them to come back later if you don't feel up to it."

Meredith sighed. She'd known she'd have to talk about it at some point, but she wasn't sure if she was quite ready. Then again, she wasn't sure she'd ever be completely ready to relive that night.

"No, now is fine," Meredith finally answered. "One of these cops wouldn't happen to be that boyfriend you were telling me about, would it?"

Addison grinned. "Why yes, as a matter of fact, one of those cops would happen to be my boyfriend, so hands to yourself, got it Grey?"

"Because I'm so looking to steal your man right now, Addison," Meredith said sarcastically.

"I'm just saying…" Addison raised her hands in mock defense. "He's extremely good looking. Hey, his partner's available, though, if you change your mind."

"I'm sure the uniform helps, right?" Meredith laughed.

"Well, it sure as heck doesn't hurt, that's for sure," Addison smiled. "I'll go let them know that you're ready."

* * *

"Dr. Grey?" Kevin said as he entered the room. "I'm Kevin Nelson, LAPD, and this is my partner, Matthew Taylor."

"Hi," Meredith replied. "So, which one of you belongs to Addison?"

Matthew laughed. "That would be him. And you nailed it, because that woman has him whipped."

"Hey!" Kevin protested.

"Nothing wrong with that, Officer Nelson. I'm glad she found someone, I really am, and you seem to make her very happy," Meredith smiled.

"Thank you, Dr. Grey," Kevin said, smiling at the mention of Addison being happy with him. "You can me Kevin, by the way."

"Well then, please, call me Meredith. Both of you," she said. "And sit down, you make me nervous, hovering at the end of the bed like that. I'm not going to run away, I promise," she joked.

Laughing, the two officers moved to the chairs at the side of the bed. "Now, we want this to be as comfortable as possible for you, Meredith. If you want, you can have someone in here with you," Matthew said.

Meredith nodded. "Could you ask Addison to come back in?"

"Of course," Kevin said, stepping outside to get Addison. Returning a few minutes later, Addison silently walked to the other side of the bed, took a seat and grabbed Meredith's hand in support.

"Alright, Meredith, I need to ask if you mind if we record our conversation today. Everything is kept confidential, and the tape will only be used if someone on the case needs to review something that is said today," Matthew informed her, moving into the more formal part of their visit.

"That's fine," Meredith agreed as Matthew pulled out a tape recorder and set it on the table next to the bed.

As he hit the play button, he began to speak into the device. "This is Officer Matthew Taylor, LAPD, interview with Dr. Meredith Grey. The date is January 25th, 2008 and we are at St. Ambrose Hospital in Los Angeles. Also present for this interview are Officer Kevin Nelson, LAPD, and Dr. Addison Montgomery."

* * *

"You!" Cristina said, pointing an accusatory finger at Izzie as she marched into the residents' lounge that afternoon. Izzie, who had been sitting alone in the room, taking the time to catch up on her paperwork, looked up from the charts in front of her.

"What?" Izzie protested. "What did I do?"

"Sloan was right, you did cheat. You've been talking to McBastard!" Cristina accused.

"What are you talking about? Cristina, I think you need some more sleep. Me, talking to Shepherd? Nope. No way. Definitely not," Izzie defended herself.

"Well, he's been having relationship pow-wows with someone, that much I know. And so I started thinking, who would actually be stupid enough to talk to that loser? Little Grey's been with me, so I know it wasn't her…plus, I think we've all learned now that she like to talk with her fists, not her mouth."

Pausing a moment for a breath, Cristina continued. "I thought about Evil Spawn, but really, even though he is stupid enough to fit the bill, talking just isn't his style, especially not like that. Bambi's too loyal to even look at the man, so there's no way it was him."

Looking Izzie straight in the eye, she resumed her finger pointing. "Which leaves me with you, Barbie. Sickeningly sweet, let's save the world, be nice to everyone, Dr. Barbie. Only you would be stupid enough to feel sorry for that man," Cristina said, a smirk coming over her face at the fear in Izzie's eyes. "Which, of course, means that you did have inside information in that little bet you won."

* * *

"Okay, Meredith, we'll try to keep this as quick as possible," Kevin said. "We know that on January 16th you were on board a private plane that crashed just outside the city limits of Los Angeles. We just need you to describe what happened on the flight – anything you remember could be helpful, so please be as detailed as you can be."

"I…I really don't remember much about that night. I remember getting on the plane with Ryan…he introduced me to the pilot, and there was another guy, some friend of Ryan's who was flying down too…Nick something-or-other, I think. He flew up front in the cockpit…I think he was a pilot too."

Kevin and Matthew nodded, having already known this information. Nicholas Hollings, a childhood friend of Ryan Sullivan's and an Air Force pilot, had already been identified. His wife had reported him missing when he didn't call after landing in Mexico, as he usually did. Dental records had confirmed the initial identification a few days ago.

"I can't tell you much about most of the flight…we'd be flying for maybe two hours, maybe a little less…there was some sort of jolt…and then the pilot, he was talking about the engines…"

"This jolt," Matthew interrupted, needing more details. "How would you describe it? Was it up and down, from the side, all over?"

"From the side…it knocked me across the row of seats…" Meredith said. When Kevin nodded, she continued. "I remember the pilot saying we should buckle up, because something was wrong with the engines…I had time to put on my seatbelt, but just barely, before there was another jolt. This one…it was definitely up and down, although mostly just down…Ryan hadn't put on his seatbelt, and it threw him forward, up against the cockpit door…then everything was really quiet, too quiet…I couldn't even hear the engines anymore. We were falling, I knew that…" Meredith's voice, which had grown softer and shakier throughout her statement, was now barely audible. "All I could think…oh, God…all I could think was I'm going to die again…I'm going to die and I didn't…I didn't…"

Meredith didn't finish her sentence as she finally broke down in sobs. While she tried desperately to soothe Meredith, Addison shot a glance at Kevin and Matthew, silently telling them that they were through for the day.

"Meredith?" Kevin said, quickly turning off the voice recorder. "Meredith, you did really well today. We're going to go ahead and leave it at that for now, and you can call us if you remember anything else." Reaching across the bed and squeezing Addison's shoulder in a tender show of support, he smiled softly at the two women and led his partner out of the hospital room.

As Meredith sobbed in Addison's arms, her mind filled with the painful memory of those last few moments before the crash, those few moments that had changed her life forever.

"_I'm going to die," she had thought to herself. "I'm going to die and this time there won't be a second chance. No Dylan telling me to suck it up, no Denny telling me I need more than moments, no Mom telling me to run. It's going to be over…I had my second chance and I wasted it with my stupid intimacy issues…again."_

"_Will this destroy Derek?" she found herself wondering. "Will this time really break him? Or did I already do that, when I didn't take the steps he wanted? Maybe Denny was wrong…maybe Derek will still be the same after I'm gone…we aren't even together anymore."_

_As the plane approached the ground, Meredith continued to hope against hope that the pilot would suddenly pull up, that the nearly vertical plane would somehow right itself, somehow soar back into the air._

_Even when she'd drowned, Meredith wouldn't really have described her experience as having her life flash before her eyes. But as that plane neared impact, she suddenly saw moments of her life flashing through her mind._

_She saw her alone at Christmas, sitting the lobby of a hospital, waiting for her mother to finish in surgery, and she saw herself at her high school graduation, trying to hide the tears she was crying because her mother once again hadn't shown up._

_She saw Derek, in his red shirt, standing next to her in the bar and she heard Addison's voice echoing as she referred to Derek as "my husband." She heard her own voice begging Derek to "pick me, choose me, love me."_

_She saw Derek's trailer, his smile as he told her about his life. She saw them together at prom and she him as he told her he didn't want to breath for her. She saw Cristina's wedding, she saw Derek showing her the house plans. She saw Derek showing Rose those same house plans…and then she just saw black._


	29. Think About It

**A/N:** The pace is really going to start picking up with this chapter, so be prepared...the next week is going to be covered relatively quickly in order to move the storyline along, focusing on the really important things that happen - and there are some big things that happen, so it should be good! This particular chapter actually covers two days, so I hope that doesn't confuse anyone. Enjoy!

* * *

"Seriously, Molly, you are my new favorite person," Meredith said as she gleefully took another bite of pizza.

"Hey, I love pizza...cheap and easy is my food motto these days, what with raising a baby alone and Eric not exactly having the world's highest paying job. Plus, I really can't cook…Eric banned me from the kitchen about a week after we got married. I think he said something about liking our house too much to let me burn it down," Molly laughed.

"I know what you mean…I'm pretty much not allowed in my own kitchen either. You should ask Lexie about the omelet I tried to make for her a few months ago. It was pretty bad," Meredith replied.

"You made Lexie an omelet?" Molly asked, surprised by this information.

"I was trying to be sisterly," Meredith protested. "So it didn't turn out so well…I like to think that it's really the thought that counts."

"And she actually ate the omelet?" Molly was busy trying to process this interesting fact.

"Um…yeah. Seriously, it was bad, but it wasn't _that_ bad, Molly," Meredith laughed.

"Oh, no, it's not that…it's just, Lexie must really have been trying not to hurt your feelings, because she's allergic to eggs," Molly smiled.

"Seriously?" Meredith asked, stunned that Lexie hadn't mentioned that fact.

"She breaks out in hives and everything…it's actually sort of funny to see, even if it is serious," Molly said.

"Well, damn. Now I feel kind of bad about that. But hey, maybe it means my omelet wasn't really all that bad after all," Meredith joked, causing the two sisters to laugh.

Watching from the doorway, Addison couldn't help but smile as she watched their interaction, noting just how drastically different it was from the last time she had seen them together, just after Laura was born.

Looking up, Meredith noticed Addison watching them and motioned for her to come in.

"There's plenty of pizza, Dr. Montgomery," Molly said. "Please join us. My hips certainly don't need to be taking in all the calories."

"You know, you really shouldn't be eating greasy foods so soon, Meredith," Addison cautioned, the doctor in her coming out.

"Are you kidding me? Have you seen the stuff this place is trying to pass off as food? I'm surprised people aren't dying of starvation left and right!" Meredith protested jokingly. "Besides, it's just one meal."

Addison laughed and grabbed a slice from the box at Molly's side. "Alright, but if you get in trouble for this, don't drag me into it. Charlotte King hates me enough as it is."

* * *

"Stevens, I need a resident for an emergency bypass coming up from the ER, are you free to scrub in?" Erica Hahn asked, poking her head into the residents' lounge.

"I…" Izzie hesitated just a moment, remembering her earlier conversation with Cristina. "I'm sorry Dr. Hahn, I've got a ton of paperwork, and I need to get out early to pack tonight. I think the only one free right now is Dr. Yang."

Erica Hahn shot Izzie a confused look before shrugging her shoulders and turning to leave the room. "Your loss, Stevens," she said, spotting Cristina Yang down the hall at the nurses' station. "Yang, I've got a bypass coming up from the ER, go meet them at the elevator, prep the patient and then scrub in," she shouted.

Cristina practically jumped from the nurses' station. "Of course, Dr. Hahn!" she replied, in as close to cheerful as Cristina Yang ever mustered at work. "I'm on my way, ma'am." _Thank God Izzie's terrified of Debbie finding out she had inside information, _Cristina thought to herself with a small smile. _I'm going to have fun with this._

* * *

The following morning, Meredith woke up to the sound of something she hadn't realized just how much she had been missing.

"Seriously, Alex, stop being such an ass!" Izzie hissed. "She's sleeping!"

"Yeah, well, she should wake up. I got up at three in the morning on my first day off in weeks to see her, and all that she can do is sleep?" Alex replied. "I say we wake her up."

"Oh, just be quiet, will you?" Izzie snapped. "Hey, check out all the flowers she's got, I should have thought of that, I didn't send her anything!"

"Yeah, well, now you've sent her you, live and in person, I'm sure that's enough," Alex laughed.

"I guess, but still…these purple ones are really pretty, I wonder who sent them?" Izzie paused for a moment, and Meredith could hear her rustling through the arrangement, looking for the card. After a moment, she knew Izzie had found it when she heard her exclaim, "Aw…Alex!"

"What? I couldn't exactly send the picture on its own," Alex protested nonchalantly.

Izzie smacked him lightly on the shoulder. "How can you be such a sweetheart and such an ass, all at the same time?"

"It's a gift, really," Alex replied a little too loudly.

"Well, Mr. Gifted, keep your voice down, you're going to wake up Meredith!" Izzie whispered, once again aware of their friend lying nearby.

"Too late," Meredith smiled. "You two are impossible to sleep through, you know that? Absolutely impossible."

"Meredith!" Izzie shouted gleefully, rushing back to her side. "Oh, Mer, it is so good to see you! You look good, you really do."

"Liar," Meredith laughed. "I look terrible, and you know it."

"Yeah, you look like crap, Grey," Alex said.

"Well, I'm so glad you brought Dr. Positivity," Mark deadpanned, as he walked into the room sipping his morning cappuccino. "Dr. Stevens, you look wealthier than the last time I saw you."

"What can I say, Dr. Sloan?" Izzie shrugged. "Some of us are just better guessers than others."

"You cheated, Stevens. I haven't figured out how yet, but when I do, I'm taking you down, you know that, right?"

"Dream on, McSteamy, dream on," Izzie laughed.

Mark laughed and turned back to Meredith. "So, good news, Grey. Your kidney function seems to be doing fine on its own, so Dr. Hartley has decided to stop your dialysis treatments for the time being and see how it goes for a few days. Things are looking very good for taking you back to Seattle in another week or so."

* * *

Derek Shepherd sighed as he slumped back in his office chair, staring at the silent cell phone that seemed to be mocking him from atop his desk. Glancing at the clock, he realized it was nearly two in the afternoon. He wasn't entirely certain how long he'd been sitting there, but he was positive the time could be measured in hours, not minutes.

If their flight had been on time, he figured Izzie and Alex had been in Los Angeles for over five hours already. He knew he shouldn't expect to hear anything, especially not this soon. Yet he couldn't seem to drag himself away from the phone. That phone held hope – the hope that maybe Meredith would be willing to talk, willing to let him explain, apologize, begin to make up all the ground he'd lost.

_Izzie probably just hasn't had a chance to talk to Meredith alone yet_, he told himself. _She certainly won't want to talk about me in front of Karev. That must be it, they just haven't been alone yet._

"That phone supposed to do something?" A stern female voice jolted him from his thoughts. "You expecting it to sprout legs and do a dance for you?"

Derek stared as Miranda Bailey marched into his office, charts in hand. "No? I didn't think so. In that case, may I suggest you pull your over-moussed head out of the clouds and take a look at these patients?" She slapped the charts down on the desk in front of him.

"Patients?" He asked, wondering why she hadn't just paged him instead of barging in like this.

"Yeah, patients. You know, those people this hospital pays you the big bucks to help? You ain't getting two million a year to sit around looking pretty, Shepherd. And you sure as heck aren't getting paid to ignore my pages, so next time, try paying attention to that little black contraption on your belt. Now, my patients are waiting, so get it together."

And with that, Miranda Bailey turned on her heel and walked back towards the hallway. Pausing briefly in the doorway, she turned back to look at Derek. "She'll call when she's ready. Just give her time. Stevens probably hasn't even brought you up yet."

Shaking his head, Derek found himself wondering just how it was that Miranda Bailey seemed to always know everything. Sighing, he gathered up his charts, shoved his cell phone in the pocket of his lab coat, and headed out to check out the new neuro consults.

* * *

"So, really, Mer, how are you? I mean, not just physically…you've been through a lot," Izzie said later that afternoon. Addison had been called out to look at a patient, Mark and Alex had gone for coffee and Molly had taken a moment to check in with her in-laws, leaving Izzie and Meredith alone for the first time.

"It's getting better, Iz, it really is. Every day is a little bit better," Meredith said, smiling softly.

"That's good, that's really good," Izzie said, feeling rather uncomfortable as she tried to figure out a way to get to her point without upsetting Meredith. "Yay for getting better."

"What is it you want to say, Izzie?" Meredith asked. "Because you only say 'yay' like that when you're trying to avoid saying something you think you shouldn't." When she didn't get an answer right away, Meredith went right ahead, figuring if she guessed enough she might eventually hit a nerve. "So, this wouldn't happen to have anything to do with you mysteriously knowing exactly when Derek and Rose were going to break up, would it?"

"How did you know about that?" Izzie asked, astonished that Seattle Grace gossip seemed to have reached all the way to Los Angeles.

"McSteamy was pissed that he lost," Meredith said. "So, how'd you get your information?"

"Who says I had any information?" Izzie asked defensively. "Wait, did you talk to Cristina? Crap, of course you talked to Cristina. She's your person. Look, Mer, I'm sorry, he just looked so broken, and you know how I have this horrible, awful, utterly uncontrollable tendency to swoop in and want to fix broken things. I couldn't help it, I just had to talk to Derek!"

"You talked to Derek?" Meredith asked, not having expected that bit of information to emerge.

"You didn't talk to Cristina?" Izzie asked, suddenly feeling completely embarrassed as Meredith shook her head. "Me and my stupid mouth."

"It's okay, Izzie. I don't hate him, and I never said you guys had to, either. It's fine if you want to talk to him," Meredith said. "Even if you do talk about me. Did you tell him to break up with Rose?"

"No, that was all him. He just told me when he was going to do it so that I could change my bet," Izzie smiled slightly. "He knew that he couldn't ask you for another chance if he was still seeing her, it wasn't fair to you or to Rose. And he broke up with her even though he knows that there's a big chance he won't get you back anyway. Right now, he just wants to talk."

Meredith sighed. "You want me to talk to him, don't you?"

"I think it might help, Mer. It could be good for you two to talk things out. But I told him if you said no, that was it, he had to stay away. No talking without your permission."

"I don't know Iz…let me think about it for a while, okay?" Meredith said, closing her eyes slightly to hold back her tears.

* * *

That evening, Meredith's five visitors stayed well past the end of visitors' hours, until finally a nurse had to come in to tell them that, although the hospital was willing to bend the rules to let Meredith have visitors beyond normal hours, they couldn't stay if they were going to be loud enough to disturb the other patients. Reluctantly, they rose and one by one said their goodbyes to Meredith for the night.

"Hey Molly," Meredith called out as they left the room, causing her sister to pause and turn around to look at her questioningly. "Could you stay for a little while longer?"

Molly smiled and nodded. "Sure, of course. I can catch a cab back to the hotel later," she said to Addison, who had been intending to drive Molly back to her hotel. Waving to Meredith, Addison nodded at Molly and quickly hurried off to catch up to the others.

"Thanks," Meredith said softly as Molly took a seat near the bed. "I was sort of hoping you might be able to do me a favor."

"What do you need?" Molly asked curiously.

"There's some paper and a pen over on that table by the window. I had a nurse bring them in earlier, but then we figured out that I can't actually write at the moment." Meredith held up her heavily bandaged arms as evidence of that fact. "So I was hoping that if I dictated a letter, you could write it down for me."

"Of course, I can do that," Molly said, heading over to grab the yellow legal pad and black pen the nurse had left. Returning to her seat, she uncapped the pen and her hand hovered above the paper. "Whenever you're ready."

"Okay, let's give it a try. I guess we start with the beginning, right?" Molly nodded encouragingly as Meredith took several deep breaths. Molly knew that whatever this letter was going to contain, sharing it with her was not going to be an easy step for her sister. Nevertheless, Molly felt touched that she had chosen her, and not one of her friends, to share what should have been her private words.

"Dear Derek," Meredith began, her voice shaking as Molly started copying down her words.


	30. What Have I Done?

**A/N:** Sorry this took a little longer than I'd anticipated! I've spent the last few days writing, then rewriting, then rewriting some more, this letter than Meredith wrote. There's so much that I wanted it to accomplish, and I'm still not entirely sure it did everything I want it to, but I think it turned out pretty well. This is the longest chapter I've written so far, and it's mostly Derek, with a few others thrown in to break up the serious stuff with a fun set-up for the next chapter. Enjoy and thanks for reading!

* * *

"I wish we didn't have to go so soon," Izzie complained the following afternoon, as they said their final goodbyes to Meredith. She was still anxious to find a way to get another moment alone with her friend, hoping to get some sort of answer to pass on to Derek Shepherd, who she knew would be hounding her when they returned to Seattle.

"Yeah, well, you know Seattle's falling apart without us," Alex said.

"I think that's what Cristina said before she left," Meredith laughed.

"Are you saying I sound like Yang?" Alex asked, pretending to be shocked and hurt. "Meredith Grey, I don't think I've ever been so insulted."

"I'm going to miss you," Izzie said, a few tears in the corners of her eyes.

"Now, Stevens, don't you go getting all mushy on us. I'll be bringing her back in a week or so. I know it will be hard, but I'm sure you can power through without seeing my beautiful face for just a few more days," Mark teased, earning an annoyed glare from Izzie.

"Hey guys, can I have a minute alone with Izzie, please?" Meredith asked, knowing they'd be leaving for the airport any minute. Everyone nodded and cleared the room, leaving the two women alone.

As soon as everyone was gone, Meredith took a deep breath and got straight to her point. "I can't talk to him, Izzie. I just can't do it, not right now. I'm not ready."

"Okay. I'll let him know," Izzie said, trying to hide her disappointment.

"Izzie, open the drawer over here by the bed," Meredith instructed. Izzie did so, pulling out the crisp white envelope with Derek's name on the front. She shot Meredith a confused look. "Look, if I try to talk to him in person, or even on the phone, he'll do his whole McDreamy thing and I'll melt into a little mess again. I need to make a clean break, at least for a little while. So I put everything I need to say in that letter. Can you give it to him for me?"

"Of course I can," Izzie smiled, relieved that her friend was at least making contact.

"And, Izzie, if you or Alex even dare to try to read it, I'll have Lexie kick your asses, got it?" Meredith threatened, only half joking.

Izzie laughed and nodded. "I won't let Alex anywhere near it, either, I promise."

* * *

The next morning, Derek Shepherd found himself in his office much earlier than usual, hoping against hope that Izzie would come find him, that she'd be able to tell him something – anything – new about Meredith. He'd spent most of the last two days desperately willing his cell phone to ring. It had only complied twice. The first call had been Mark, congratulating him on his newfound single status, and teasingly inviting him to join him "out on the prowl," as Mark had put it. All Derek had done in response was beg for information on Meredith, which earned him a vague "she's improving," and a quick hang up.

The second call had been from his mother. He'd ignored that one, letting it go straight to voicemail, where he knew eventually he'd hear her complaining once again about the fact that he never called, never came to visit, never kept her up to date on his life. Usually he felt guilty when he ignored her calls, but at that point, he didn't care. He couldn't deal with his mother and her concern for him, not while he was waiting to hear from Meredith.

He knew it would have been too much to hope for to think that Meredith would want to see him right away, but he had thought she might at least call, especially now that he knew for sure news of his breakup with Rose had reached Los Angeles.

* * *

"Morning, George," Lexie said cheerily as he walked into the kitchen of their small apartment. "I made pancakes, do you want some?"

"What do you want from me?" George asked warily.

"Now, what makes you think I want something? Can't a girl make breakfast for her roommate without being accused of bribery or extortion or whatever it is you thing I'm doing?" Lexie asked, pretending to be insulted.

"Sorry…it's just, you don't usually make breakfast, and the last time you did, you wanted me to help you unbolt a TV from the hospital and steal it," George said, grabbing a plate off the counter.

"Which, by the way, you seriously should have done, because it gets sort of boring around here without a TV sometimes," Lexie scolded.

"Right, because going to prison for theft would have been so helpful to my medical career," George laughed.

"Hey, it can hard to find a good doctor in prison, so at least you would have had a…well, a captive market," Lexie joked.

George groaned at the pun. "Seriously Lexie? A captive market?"

"Shut up. And this time, no illegal activities, I promise," Lexie smiled sweetly.

"I knew you wanted something," George said, shaking his fork in her direction. "I can read you like a book."

"Sure you can. Look, I just need a small favor…it really shouldn't be much trouble at all…" Lexie said, nervously fidgeting with the spatula in her hands. "I just need you to take…um, well…something to Molly when you and Callie go to see Meredith tomorrow."

"That's it? We can definitely do that," George said, turning back to the plate of pancakes in front of him. "You didn't have to go to all the trouble of making breakfast just to get me to make some extra room in my suitcase."

Seeing a look of guilt on Lexie's face, he put his fork back down. "Wait just a minute…exactly what sort of 'something' did I just agree to take to L.A.?"

"Um…well, see, Molly's mother-in-law, she sort of has the flu, so they can't keep Laura anymore…so, I need you to take her down to L.A. with you," Lexie said, smiling hopefully at her roommate.

"A baby? You want us to take a baby?" George sputtered. "Are you serious?"

"Please, George? Otherwise Molly has to come back to Seattle…and then Meredith wouldn't have any family there…you'd be leaving her all alone with McSteamy and Addison…don't you think that would be a bit awkward? Do you really want to do that to Meredith?"

"That's low, you know that?" George sighed, once again shaking his fork at Lexie. "Playing the guilt card. You're good at it, too, which is bad for me. Very bad for me. Callie is not going to like this. No, she's definitely not going to like this."

* * *

"Dr. Shepherd," Izzie Stevens said softly, pulling him from his thoughts as she cautiously entered his office.

"Izzie," Derek breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of the tall blonde. "How is she?"

"She'd getting better. They took her off dialysis on Sunday, and they're hoping that if things keep progressing as they have been, she might be stable enough for transport as early as next week. She looks better that I thought she would, to be honest. Dr. Sloan seems to be doing an excellent job with the skin grafts, although they're mostly still all bandaged up."

"That's…that's good," Derek smiled weakly. "You didn't happen to get a chance to…you know…"

"Yeah, I mentioned it. She, uh…well, she didn't really feel up to talking on the phone, so she wrote you this," Izzie pulled the white envelope out of her lab coat and handed it to Derek. "Don't worry, I didn't read it. Not that I'm not curious, because I am, but she threatened to have Lexie come after me…and well," she motioned to Derek's face as evidence of her legitimate fear.

"That girl's got a mean right hook," Derek laughed ruefully. "Thanks, Izzie."

"You're welcome, Dr. Shepherd. For what it's worth, I hope it's good news," she said as she quickly left the office to give him his privacy.

* * *

"You said we'd do what?!" Callie exclaimed later that day, as she and George at their lunch on the gurneys in the basement tunnels.

"Take Laura to L.A. I agreed that we would take Laura Thompson with us when we go to see Meredith. She doesn't need a ticket, because apparently she rides in our laps."

"A baby, George? Seriously?" Callie asked.

"Yeah, seriously," George sighed.

"Okay, you remember last year, when we talked about having a baby? That was a weird maternal freak out, hormonal induced, probably. George, I know nothing about babies. Zero. Zilch. We'll probably kill the kid," Callie moaned.

"Come on, Callie, we're doctors. We're surgeons. I think we should be capable care of a six month old for the few hours it'll take us to get to L.A. and put her into the arms of her mother. What could go wrong?" George said, shrugging his shoulders as he bit into his sandwich.

Callie just sighed, shooting him a glare and throwing a French fry at his head.

* * *

That night, Derek sighed heavily as he sat down on the edge of his bed in the trailer. He'd come straight back after work, still clutching the unopened letter in his hand. Izzie had said it was from Meredith, but the handwriting on the outside was completely unfamiliar to him. All morning and afternoon, it had been burning a hole in his pocket, begging for him to read it.

Somehow, though, he still hadn't been able to bring himself to even unseal the envelope. It was taunting him, daring him to do so, but he couldn't risk it, not at the hospital, not with everyone watching. There'd be no way he'd be capable of going on with his day if that letter contained bad news.

_If it were good news, she would have called_, he thought to himself, once again toying with the now-tattered corners of the envelope. _Just rip the band-aid, Derek, just rip it right off._

With one last deep breath, he flipped the envelope over and tore open the seal. Pulling out the sheet of folded yellow legal paper waiting inside, he carefully unfolded it and began to read.

_Dear Derek,_

_I'm not really sure how to begin this letter, probably because I'm not entirely sure what it is I want to say to you. I just know that I can't do this in person, or over the phone, without risking breaking down. So, I'm writing it down for you. Well, I'm dictating it, and Molly is writing it down, because my right hand is still bandaged up right now._

_Izzie told me that you wanted to talk with me. She also said something about you wanting us to give our relationship another chance. You know, it's almost funny, a few weeks ago, I wouldn't have had to think twice about that. I would have said yes in a heartbeat. But things have happened, Derek, that have changed how I see things, how I see us. And I'm not just talking about my accident. No, things changed long before that happened._

_When we first ended things last month, there was a part of me that still thought we were going to work out. After all, circumstances seem to always be intervening to pull us apart, then push us back together again. I mean, we're practically a relationship slinky, if you think about it. At least, we were. Now, I'm not so sure there's any going back this time, because something's different._

_I think if I had to put it into words, it all changed for me the moment I saw you showing those house plans to Rose. You two were at the nurses' station, right in front of everyone, but I don't even know if you saw me watching you. You looked so happy to be planning a future with her, when just two weeks before, you'd been planning that same future for us. It doesn't seem possible to me that, if I were truly the love of your life, you could just turn around and stick someone else in my place. Was I that replaceable to you? Just a warm female body to keep by you at night? Was it all a lie? Did you mean any of it, about me being the love of your life, me being it for you? Because right now, I have serious doubts about whether you were sincere about any of it._

_And that's the thing that's different this time, Derek. When you stayed with Addison, when you needed space, when I drowned, when we broke up at Cristina's wedding, through all the crap we went through, I never had doubts, not in my heart, about how you felt about me. Sure, my head sometimes disagreed, but my heart always knew. And you know, that's big for me, Derek, because you know I don't do emotional stuff like that. This time, though, even my heart has doubts. Serious doubts. Major, possibly deal-breaking doubts._

_I think the part that hurts the most for me, the part I've been trying to numb away these last few weeks, is that in spite of everything, I really thought you were it for me, Derek. You may not have meant it when you said I was the love of your life, but I'm pretty sure you were the love of mine. When the plane was going down, and I thought I was going to die, I saw a lot of things flash before my eyes, but your face was the last thing I saw before we hit, and all I could think about was how I had messed up our second chance. Unfortunately, love isn't always enough, is it? If it were, maybe I'd have been able to hang on to you. If it were enough, maybe you could have loved me like I love you._

_Please know that I'm not trying to say everything was your fault. I know that it wasn't. I know that a lot of it was me, avoiding and not dealing with my issues. Maybe if I'd just dealt with them sooner, I wouldn't have pushed you to the point where we ever had to find out just how serious you were, or weren't, about me being the only one for you. But, I did push you away, and you moved on. I don't blame you for that, although I am confused as to why you left Rose if she was willing to give you what you wanted in life._

_Mark and the rest of my doctors say that I'll probably be able to come back to Seattle next week sometime. I need to ask you, please, do not try to come see when I get back. Don't stand in my doorway and watch me sleep. Don't hover outside the room. Don't harass my friend or my doctors. When I get back to my house, don't drive by the house five times a night. Don't stop by to see how I'm doing. Don't call to check up on me. Please, give me some space to recover._

_I'm not trying to hurt you, Derek. I just really need my space right now. I've spent so much of my life defining myself by other people, first as Ellis Grey's daughter, and now as Derek Shepherd's mistress/girlfriend/ex-girlfriend/whatever. I need to figure out who I am without that. I need time to just be Meredith, just me, not all those other things people see me as. It isn't just you, Derek, I can't be in a relationship with anyone right now, and I don't know when I'll be ready, but it won't be any time soon, I know that, and I don't expect you to wait for me._

_At some point, I know we will have to talk about this in person and deal with our situation once and for all. But now is not the time for that. I need to be able to focus all my energy on recovering, without having to worry that you're constantly going to pop up around every corner, demanding that I talk to you. Please, I'm begging you, just this once, respect my wishes and give me my space._

_I know you don't understand why I'm asking you for this, but I hope that in time, you will. I'm so sorry if this hurts you, Derek, because hurting you has always been the last thing that I wanted to do. I do love you, so very much, but it just isn't enough right now._

_Love,_

_Meredith_

* * *

Derek felt the tears welling up in his eyes as he read her letter over and over again. He wasn't sure what hurt more, that he had so badly destroyed all her faith in his love for her, or that she was actually hurt badly enough that she couldn't even write her own letter. He was pretty sure what he had done hurt more.

He threw himself back on the bed, squeezing his palms to his face. "What the hell did I do?" he screamed at the ceiling, annoyed that it couldn't answer him back. Feeling more alone and empty than he had in years, he found himself doing something he hadn't done since he had moved to Seattle.

Pulling out his phone, he paused as he struggled to remember the once-familiar numbers. Slowly, he dialed them into the phone and pressed it to his ear.

One ring. Two rings. Three rings. Finally, a groggy female voice picked up on the other end of the line.

"Hey, it's me," he said softly. "What? No, it's Derek."

"…Yeah, it has been a long time."

"…Honestly, no. I'm not alright, not even close to it…"

"…Well, actually, I was hoping maybe you could come out to Seattle for a few days?"

"...Yeah, the sooner the better, tomorrow if you can swing it."

"…No, come alone, please come alone."

"…You know, I'd really rather just wait until you get here, if that's alright."

"…Thanks, I'll see you soon."


	31. Partners In Crime

**A/N:** Thank you all for the reviews! It is now time to meet Derek's mystery phone call...it's really not that much of a shock. Actually, she's a character that I'm having a lot of fun writing. We still don't know a ton about Derek's history before he came to Seattle, so I'm really enjoying creating this past for him. I hope you like it!

* * *

"Alright, you've got the diaper bag, the stroller and the car seat. I just changed her and she was fed right before we left the house. There are a few already prepped bottles in there, so you shouldn't have too much to worry about. She's really a very sweet baby," Eric Thompson, Sr. smiled as he handed George the last of Laura's things.

"Yeah, I uh, think we've got it, sir," George said, slightly intimidated by the ex-Army officer towering over him, and trying desperately not to drop any of the things he'd just been handed, especially not the baby. "We'll take good care of her, sir."

"You'd better, young man," Eric laughed. "That's my only grandbaby you've got there. Now, you and your wife have a nice flight, alright?"

"Oh…um…" George mumbled, not sure how close by Callie was or how offended she'd be if he still referred to her as his wife. Fortunately for George, Callie was coming up right behind him, and smiled at Molly's father-in-law.

"Don't worry, Colonel, we'll be just fine," she said, quickly taking Laura out of George's arms. "Won't we, George?"

* * *

Derek Shepherd scanned the arrivals board three times before he finally found what he was looking for. _Flight 1923 from New York, arrived 8:15am._ Glancing at his watch, seeing that it was then 8:25, he knew he still had a few minutes before she made her way from the gate. He stood near the baggage claim at Seattle-Tacoma International Airport, staring anxiously at the escalator she'd be coming down soon. He could only pray that she had listened to him and she'd be coming down that escalator alone.

Finally, he spotted a familiar head of brunette curls amidst the rush of passengers coming down. He smiled as he watched her scan the crowd looking for him. When her eyes finally settled on him, he watched her smile grow and then falter as she took in his appearance. Stepping off the escalator, she rushed over to him and immediately pulled him into an embrace.

Then, stepping back, she placed her hands on his upper arms and looked him up and down. "My God, Derek, you look absolutely terrible," she muttered, stunned by his appearance.

"Thanks, Kathleen, it's good to see you too," he said, smiling weakly at his sister.

* * *

"Callie, why is she crying?" George hissed at her, trying to ignore the glares other passengers were shooting at him as the plane took off. Laura had started crying the moment the engines had started, and she hadn't let up since then.

"I don't know, George, you changed her before we got on the plane, right?" Callie asked, not waiting for an answer. "Maybe we should feed her."

Callie dug through the diaper bag, eventually finding the bottle she'd been looking for. "Okay, George, how do we do this?" she asked.

"You don't know how to feed a baby?" he asked, suddenly terrified. _This woman actually begged me to have a baby with her? What the hell were we thinking?_

"George, you've met my father. Do you really think I spent my teenage years babysitting for spending money?"

"Okay, now is probably not the time to ask this, but what the hell were planning on doing when we had a baby? Hiring a nanny?" George asked, as he took the bottle from Callie and tried to get Laura to eat from it.

"No. I'm sure the hospital has parenting classes. I figured we'd take those. That, and isn't that what grandparents are for? To teach us? I mean, my mother would be useless, except for planning the baby shower, because I definitely was raised by nannies. Your mother, though, George she was already knitting baby clothes before we were even pregnant. Neutral color baby clothes, because she didn't want to get it wrong. I'm pretty sure she could have taught me to feed a baby," Callie laughed.

George didn't reply, as Laura had finally grabbed the tip of the bottle in her mouth and begun to eat. He couldn't help but smile, though, at the thought of Callie and his mother working together to care for a baby.

* * *

"So," Kathleen began, as Derek pulled up the drive to his trailer. "This is the famous trailer, huh? I have to say, Derek…it's a long way from the brownstone, that's for sure," she laughed.

"I happen to like it very much," Derek protested. "Besides, it's only temporary. They break ground on my house next week."

"A house?" Kathleen raised an eyebrow in his direction. "So you're really planning on staying out here? You aren't coming back to us?"

"You didn't honestly think I'd be coming back to New York, did you, Kathy?" Derek asked. "I mean, I love you guys, but I needed a fresh start. That's what I found here."

"But you aren't happy here," Kathleen observed, more a statement than a question.

"That has nothing to do with being here or not. I'd be just as miserable in New York right now as I am here," Derek said, eager to change the subject. "So, you want to come in? It is Seattle, so if you wait too long just standing there, it'll probably start to rain on you."

As if on cue, the clouds broke open and the raindrops starting to fall, causing Kathleen to let out a small shriek as she dashed towards the trailer.

* * *

"Oh, thank God," George sighed as he and Callie stepped into the arrivals area and he instantly spotted Molly and Addison. Laura had begun screaming during landing, and despite their best efforts, neither Callie nor George had been able to soothe her. Both were nearly at their wit's end when George eagerly handed the crying baby off to her mother. Settling into the familiar arms, Laura quieted instantly, leaving George and Callie stunned.

"Wha…how did you…" George stammered.

"Thank you so much for bringing her, Dr. O'Malley, I really appreciate it," Molly smiled, ignoring George's comments. "And you must be Dr. Torres?" she said, turning to Callie.

"Please, call me Callie," she replied.

"Well, thank you for taking care of my little girl, Callie. I hope she wasn't too much trouble."

"No, no trouble at all," Callie smiled, elbowing George in the ribs to keep him from replying.

"So, welcome to L.A.," Addison smiled, hugging Callie tightly. "I've missed you."

"Seattle just isn't the same without you, Addie. Any chance we can convince you to come back?" Callie asked hopefully.

Molly laughed when she heard Callie's question. "You obviously haven't met Kevin yet. If you had, you wouldn't even ask that question."

"Kevin?" Callie said suspiciously. "Now, no one told me there was a Kevin. Is this Kevin good-looking?"

"Yeah, he is," Addison said, smiling coyly.

"The uniform doesn't hurt, either," Molly added. "But then, we all know I have a thing for men in uniform."

"A man in uniform, Addison?" Callie asked.

"He's a police officer, yes," Addison replied, blushing slightly.

"Very hot," Callie said. "I approve. Now, Mark said Meredith would be in surgery all morning, right?"

Addison and Molly nodded.

"Alright, well, let's go get something to eat, then. George gets cranky if he doesn't get a good breakfast," Callie teased.

"I get cranky? I get cranky?" George protested. "You're the one with the Archfield room service menu memorized!"

* * *

Kathleen watched Derek suspiciously as he poured her a cup of coffee and offered her a bowl of Muesli, explaining it was really all he had for breakfast, unless she wanted him to catch her some trout.

"So, how are the kids?" Derek asked, settling in across the small table from his sister.

"They're doing well," Kathleen said. "Which you would know, if you had come to Thanksgiving dinner. Or Christmas dinner. Or Easter brunch. Or if you had even, I don't know, called me once since you up and moved here."

Derek sighed. He'd known he couldn't get away with inviting her out here without listening to this very lecture. "I'm sorry, Kathleen. Things have just been, well, sort of crazy the last year and a half."

Kathleen opened her mouth to offer him another sarcastic rebuke, but stopped when she saw the look on his face. Taking in his appearance for a second time, she noticed something she hadn't seen in him before. His eyes, which had always held a bit of a twinkle even when he was unhappy, looked positively empty.

"Okay, Derek, why am I here?" she asked bluntly.

Looking up from his coffee, Derek shrugged. "I missed you."

"No, I think we both know that's not why I'm here. Maybe you did miss me, but Derek, you used to call me almost every day when you lived in New York. Then, suddenly, I get one phone call telling me you're leaving your wife and moving to Seattle, and then nothing for almost a year and a half?"

"I said I was sorry, Kath…"

"I can understand you not calling Abigail or Beth, because you weren't really as close to them, outside of family gatherings, of course. Or even Nancy, because Lord knows, she can be a bitch when she wants to be. But Derek, me? We were close, closer than close. Remember in school, we used to be the 'Siamese Shepherds?'"

Derek laughed at the memory. Kathleen, although she was now the picture of good behavior, a successful psychiatrist with a twenty year marriage and four kids, had had quite the wild side growing up, a side that Derek knew she still hadn't completely grown out of. In elementary school, she'd been so difficult to manage that her teachers had opted to hold her back a year. Once she'd gotten over her distaste at the thought of being in the same class as her younger brother, they'd become somewhat of an unstoppable duo. Joined at the hip, as her mother used say, usually while she was shaking her head and trying to separate them as punishment for some sort of stunt that they'd pulled. Their mother had always said it was a miracle she'd only had to bail them out of jail once. Of course, Derek and Kathleen had long since agreed that Mom never needed to know that that was the one time Mark had been arrested with them, making him unavailable for a secret midnight bailout.

"Look, Kathleen, I don't really know what to say. Maybe it was a mistake to call you out here like this. I just…I didn't know what else to do," Derek said, putting his head in his hands.

Kathleen smiled and reached out across the table, grabbing one of her brother's hands from him. "It wasn't a mistake, Derek. So what, you disappeared for a while. You think a measly year and a half is going to change us? Hell no, sorry little brother, you're stuck with me. This is our thing, remember? Every time I've needed you, you've been there. Have you ever called me for help and had me turn you down?"

Derek shook his head. "But you've definitely needed me more than I've needed you," he said quickly.

Kathleen laughed, grateful that he at least remembered their old joke. "Ah, but this may just make us even, baby boy."

Derek scoffed. "No way. Sorry, your 'help, I think I just got married,' call means I'm always going to win this one. Actually, more than that, sitting with you when you told Mom means I always win that one."

"I really thought she was going to kill me," Kathleen laughed.

"She would have, I think, if I hadn't been there," Derek agreed. "Which is why you will owe me forever."

"In my defense, unlike most of your distress calls, that one at least turned out well," Kathleen pointed out, twirling her wedding ring around her finger. She could still remember calling Derek in a panic when she'd woken up on her second day of spring break, in a strange hotel room, and suddenly realized that she hadn't been dreaming, she had actually married her boyfriend of three weeks. Stupid tequila. Derek had laughed for almost five minutes straight until she had finally managed to convince him that she wasn't joking. Then, he'd dropped everything and flown straight to Las Vegas to beat up her new husband and bring her home.

"True. I guess your drunken Vegas marriage turned out better than my two year engagement, three hundred guest church wedding," he said, intending it as a joke but knowing his sister would read more into it than that.

"Oh, Derek," Kathleen said softly. "Is this about Addie? Nancy told us about how she stayed with Mark…I wish you had called me sooner, I feel just awful, I should have been here for you through all of this, but when you didn't call, I just assumed you wanted your space."

Derek shook his head. "No, this isn't about Addison. I forgave her a long time ago."

"Okay…" Kathleen began, hoping to encourage him to keep talking.

"It hasn't really been about Addison for a long time, Kath. Ever since I moved here, it's been about Meredith," Derek sighed.


	32. We're Waiting

**A/N:** In this chapter, it's finally time for us to start seeing how Derek viewed things. He doesn't really have a drastically different point of view on what will be covered in this chapter, he just perceives things a lot differently and doesn't understand how Meredith felt at different points...and that's where Kathleen comes in, because she is able to read between the lines of what he is telling her. We'll also learn a little bit more about Nancy, which I think is important for putting a new spin on what happened right after her visit.

Also, perhaps most importantly, this is a HUGE chapter for George and Callie...I've been waiting to write this practically since I began this story, so I hope you enjoy it!

* * *

"Meredith," Kathleen said softly, looking at her brother intently. "She's the intern, right?"

"Don't start, Kathy," Derek snapped. "I don't know what Nancy told you, but she isn't just some fling. She isn't slutty or trashy or gold-digging or any of that, and she isn't an intern anymore, for that matter, she's a resident. She's…she's amazing, Kathy. She's the love of my life," Derek whispered, running his hands through his hair. "And I think I've lost her."

Kathleen took a deep breath. She certainly hadn't been expecting this. She'd knew that her brother had been involved with an intern, she'd heard that much, first from Mark and then from Nancy. But having heard nothing from her brother, she'd assumed that the girl was a fling, someone her brother had used to get back at Addison, even if it seemed completely out of character for him.

"Tell me about her, Derek," Kathleen said, her concern growing as she watched the silent despair in her brother. He didn't respond, just sighed and pushed harder against his head with his hands. Looking around the trailer, Kathleen spotted a photograph sitting near his bed. As Derek shot her a confused look, she stood up and walked over to examine it, bringing it back to the table with her. Instead of returning to her seat across from Derek, she motioned for him to scoot over, and settled in next to him on the seat.

"Is this her?" she asked, holding up the photograph of Derek leaning against the counter in a kitchen she didn't recognize, his arms wrapped tightly around a petite dirty blonde, a wide smile gracing his face as leaned in and pressed his cheek against hers.

Derek took the picture in his hands and smiled wistfully as he ran his hands over it. Izzie had taken the picture not too long after he and Meredith had started dating, long before any of their troubles had started, as he and Meredith had enjoyed one of their rare joint days off from the hospital.

"Yeah, that's her," he said softly.

"She's very pretty," Kathleen said. "You both look so happy, Derek."

"That was…that was a long time ago. A lot has happened since then," Derek said.

"But you still love her?"

"More than anything, Kathy. More than I've ever loved anyone. Even Addison could see it," he said sadly.

Kathleen nodded and gently slipped an arm around her brother's shoulders. "Tell me what happened, Derek."

* * *

George and Callie sat silently next to one another, staring out at the beach as the waves lapped rhythmically on the sand. After breakfast with Addison and Molly, Molly had remained at the hotel to let Laura rest for a while. After dropping George and Callie at the hospital, Addison had left to swing by her practice and see a patient. As much as being in a private practice allowed her to take time off whenever she needed it, she still had to make time to see some of her patients or her partners would start to think she'd abandoned them completely.

After a nurse had told them that Meredith would be in surgery for at least a few more hours, George and Callie had walked down the small path that connected the hospital's café with the beach and eventually settled into a bench near the edge of the sand.

"Molly seems nice," Callie observed absentmindedly.

"She is," George replied. "I worked her case for a while when she was pregnant. She a little talkative when she's nervous, just like Meredith and Lexie, but she's really nice."

Callie nodded. "And Addison seems really happy here," she added, yet another absentminded observation while she worked up the nerve to say what was on her mind.

"Yeah, I guess she does," George agreed, wondering just where she was going.

"Do you ever get that feeling, George? Like you're about to make a really big mistake?" Callie asked suddenly.

"Um…yeah, yeah I do. A lot, actually," George told her.

"Oh. Well, see, I've been thinking," Callie said, not daring to look over at George to see his reaction. "We've got that meeting with the lawyers on Monday, you know."

"I know," George said, a hint of sadness in his voice.

"Well…I sort of cancelled it," Callie said, almost in a whisper, keeping her eyes locked on the ocean and her thumbs twiddling nervously in her lap.

"You…you what?" George stammered, his voice betraying more confusion than actual anger. "Why…what…you cancelled it?"

"Don't get too excited, George. I'm not saying I want to stay married…but I'm not so sure anymore that I want to get divorced," Callie said hesitantly.

"So what do you want to do?" George asked.

"I want to wait," Callie said. "I don't want to make a mistake, and right now, I don't know which decision would be a mistake."

"So, what do we do while we wait?" George asked, curious as to how this would work.

"I don't know…we could hang out, go to dinner, see a movie, stuff like that," Callie offered.

"You mean like, date?"

"Yeah, I guess you call it that. We never really did that much, did we?"

"No, I guess we didn't," George said, laughing slightly at the memory of their whirlwind courtship.

"But no sex," Callie added quickly.

"Dating, no sex, got it," George recapped.

"So, we're waiting," Callie said.

"Waiting," George repeated.

After a few moments of staring at her out of the corner of his, George spoke up again. "So, um…this 'waiting' thing we're doing…does it allow for kissing?"

Callie laughed as she smiled and nodded, turning to look at George just as he leaned over, pressing his lips against hers. She instantly reacted, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him deeper towards her, relishing the familiar feel of his lips against hers. _God, I missed this_, she thought as she slowly lost herself in the moment.

* * *

"Wait, you actually took relationship advice from Nancy?" Kathleen asked somewhat incredulously. Derek had gotten as far in his story as Nancy's advice that Derek need to take space from the women in his life, when Kathleen had interrupted him in her shock.

"Are you saying she was wrong?" Derek asked.

"I don't know…I mean, you have never really been alone, so she wasn't wrong about that. But honestly, I think being alone is sort of overrated sometimes, particularly in my profession. I see people who are alone every day, and let me tell you, they're not happy people, Derek. I went straight from living at home, to sharing an apartment with you for a year, to being married. I've never been alone, and no one tells me I've got issues," Kathleen said.

"Well, actually…" Derek teased.

"Shut up, we're talking about you here. At that point, I think if Meredith made you happy, which I suspect she still did, I think what you were feeling was guilt more than anything else. All you really needed was time to talk about it, to apologize to Meredith and to Addison, for putting both of them in the situation you did when you cheated on Addie. I'm not sure space would have been my suggestion. Besides the fact that it was coming from _Nancy_, of all people," Kathleen laughed.

"What's so wrong with that?" Derek asked, laughing along with his sister, even if he didn't understand why.

"It's just…you do realize you took relationship advice from a woman on her fourth marriage, right? The woman who practically single-handedly put her divorce lawyer's children through college?" Kathleen laughed. Until Derek's split from Addison, Nancy had been the only Shepherd child to divorce, much to their Catholic mother's displeasure. After the collapse of Nancy's second marriage, Maggie Shepherd had been forced to relax her more orthodox views on divorce, lest she spend the rest of years thinking her daughter's soul was bound for hell for breaking the laws of the church.

"I guess I never thought of it like that," Derek laughed. "Although, wouldn't she know better than anyone what not to do? I figured she was an expert by now."

"Sure. Which is why she and Nick are fighting over china settings and custody of the dog even as we speak?" Kathleen asked.

"What?" Derek was somewhat incredulous. Even if he had been distant, he was certain he would have heard from his mother if his oldest sister was about to go through yet another divorce.

"Oh relax, Mom didn't forget to tell you. We just haven't had the heart to tell her yet," Kathleen said. "I think she was actually starting to like Nick. Now, where were we with Meredith? I think you'd just taken relationship advice from the serial divorcee."

"Right. Well, I told Meredith that I needed some space, and she seemed okay with that idea. I mean, obviously she wasn't thrilled, but she was supportive," Derek said.

Kathleen nodded skeptically. "Okay, that's four. What happened next?"

"Four what?" Derek asked.

"Oh, I'm just keeping count of the times you broke her heart so far. Well, keeping in mind that this is your side of the story. I suspect the number is higher on her side," Kathleen said nonchalantly.

"Four times? What the hell are you talking about Kathleen?" Derek asked, more than a little confused by his sister's assessment of things. "I definitely don't count four times."

"Which is why you really shouldn't have stopped calling me every day. I think a lot of this could have been avoided if you hadn't been so damn intent on including me in the stuff you needed a clean break from. I could have helped enlighten you. But, things are what they are. Shall we start at the beginning?" she asked, without really waiting for an answer from Derek. "One was the day she found out you had a wife and didn't tell her about it. Two, the day you picked Addison over her. Three, the day she became an honest to goodness mistress at the prom. Four, the day you told her, after everything she'd been through because of you, after she left what even you describe as the epitome of a good guy to be with you, you weren't sure she was enough for you."

"That's not what I told her!" Derek protested.

"No, but Derek, I'm a psychiatrist, I deal day in and day out with what people think, and I guarantee that even if it isn't what you meant, that's what she was thinking when you said you needed space."

"I thought you were supposed to be on my side," Derek moaned, putting his head in his hands and sighing.

"Derek," Kathleen said cautiously. "I _am _on your side. I always have been, and I always will be. You know nothing could ever change that. But being on your side doesn't mean I'm going to sit here and tell you that it'll all be alright, that you did the right thing, that you did everything you could. If I sat here spitting meaningless platitudes at you, that wouldn't be me being on your side. I want you to be happy, Derek, and I think I'm starting to see that this Meredith, you're pretty sure she's it for you. I haven't heard the whole story yet, but if you want to be happy with her, you need to figure out what went wrong so that you can fix it, and, more importantly, so that you can make damn sure you never do it again. That's what being on your side is about right now."

* * *

"O'Malley! Torres!" Mark Sloan snapped as he entered the waiting room following Meredith's final scheduled surgery. "Stop making out, you two are supposed to be fighting, not locking lips! Honestly, what is divorce coming to these days?"

"Shut it, Sloan," Callie replied. "We're not divorced yet. We're waiting."

"Waiting for what?" Mark asked, somewhat confused by this turn of events.

"Just waiting to be sure," Callie said, smiling coyly. "And the rest is none of your business. Now, how's Meredith?"

"She's doing well, really well. This should be our last little rendezvous, if all goes well the rest of the week."

"Thank God," George sighed, visibly relieved at the good news. "Can we go see her now?"

"Sure, they're taking her back to her room as we speak," Mark said. "Let's go."

As they walked out of the room, Mark placed a hand on George's arm, holding him back slightly. "You'd be a damn fool to let that one go again, O'Malley, but if you hurt her, I will hunt you down and kill you," he whispered, before quickly moving back out to lead the way to Meredith's room.

* * *

"Okay, so you asked her to start over, reintroduce yourselves," Kathleen said thoughtfully. "And how did she react?"

"She was fine with it, Kathleen," Derek said, slightly annoyed at his sister's interruptions.

"You know, she seems to be 'fine' with a lot things, Derek, which tells me she's not really 'fine' with anything," Kathleen observed. "Now, when you reintroduced yourself, did she go along with it immediately, or did she hesitate?"

"Are you my shrink or my sister?" Derek asked, earning a sharp glare from his sister. "Alright, fine. She hesitated a bit, but then she eventually went along with it."

"And somewhere in that staring over conversation, did you happen to say 'I'm sorry?'" Kathleen asked.

"I guess not," Derek sighed.

"You know, Meredith must really love you, Derek," Kathleen commented. "Because any other woman would have kicked your butt to the curb at that point. Because basically, you were saying to her, now that you were ready, she should ignore everything you'd put her through, forget all the pain you'd caused, and just move forward without even hearing an apology from you? Basically, you were saying that her pain didn't matter, that it wasn't important what you had put her through."

"You're twisting what happened, Kathleen," Derek protested.

"No, consider me the devil's advocate, Derek. Because like it or not, that's what she was feeling, and as I said, you really need to know what she was feeling if you're going to have any shot at fixing this."


	33. Issues

**A/N:** Just for the record, I have no idea if any of the medical stuff Callie is talking about is actually true, because I pretty much just made it up for this story. I wanted something cool for her to do to help Mer; if me making up medical possibilities bothers anyone, sorry, but it at least sounds cool, right?

* * *

"Okay, you know I really hate metaphors, right?" Kathleen asked as Derek finished telling her about Meredith's drowning, Susan's death, his ultimatum, Cristina's non-wedding and Meredith's reply to the whole church.

Derek nodded. "Yeah, I know."

"Well, I'm going to use one on you anyway, because it just fits. So, you were upset that Meredith stopped swimming when she was in the water, right?" Again, Derek nodded. "Well, you're a damn hypocrite, Derek, because you did the exact same thing. You stopped swimming."

"I…what? When?" Derek asked.

"Look at it this way. When Meredith was in the water, she was tired. She was scared. She was in pain. Everything was working against her. For one split second, she questioned herself and gave up. Then she started fighting again, right?" Once again, Derek nodded, waiting for his sister to continue. "Okay, now look at your relationship. You were tired. You were hurt emotionally. Everything seemed to be working against you. For one moment, you questioned if it was really all worth the fight, and you gave up. You stopped fighting for Meredith. I guess my question is, having not heard what happens next, did you start fighting for her again?"

Derek shrugged. "I really don't know…at the time, I thought I was fighting for her, but looking back…I'm not so sure what I was doing," Derek sighed.

* * *

"George," Meredith smiled as she opened her eyes and found George hovering over her bed.

"Hi Meredith," he smiled back. "It's so good to see you awake. You really had us all worried back in Seattle, you know."

"Sorry about that," Meredith said. "Where's Callie? I thought she was coming with you."

"She's here. She just went with Sloan and some of your other doctors to look at your latest scans," George said. "That Garrison guy didn't look too happy to see her. The way he was standing, I got the impression she gave him a swift kick somewhere unpleasant the last time they met."

Meredith grinned. "Yeah, Tyler sort of inspires that reaction in women, I think. I don't they're going to like my scans, though," she added softly.

"Why not?" George asked in concern.

"Still no feeling in my leg. No sensation at all. I should have something by now, even if it's just a twinge, but I've got nothing."

"Hey, there's still time," George tried to encourage her. "You shouldn't give up yet. At least wait until Callie takes a look at everything."

"Okay," Meredith agreed. Wanting to change the subject, she added, "So, how are you and Callie?"

"We're waiting," George said happily.

"Waiting?" Meredith asked.

"She cancelled our appointment with the divorce lawyers. She said she isn't sure she wants to stay married, but she isn't sure anymore that she wants a divorce, and she doesn't want to make a mistake. So, we're waiting to figure it out."

"And what exactly does waiting entail?" Meredith asked curiously.

"Um…hanging out, having dinner together, going to the movies…sort of like dating…there's the occasional kiss…but no sex…you know, I'm not entirely sure what exactly waiting is," George said.

Meredith smiled broadly. "It's your second chance, George. Waiting is your chance to do it right, to prove to Callie that you really do love her more than anything and anyone else in the world. Prove to her that she's everything you'll ever need. Prove to her that what happened was a stupid, stupid mistake that will never happen again. Make her remember why she fell in love with you in the first place. Second chances are rare, George, so don't make the same mistakes I did…don't waste your second chance."

* * *

"You actually told her you were trying to call her bluff?" Kathleen asked. "You told her that's why you showed her the house plans?"

"Yeah, I did. I just needed to know if she was really in this as much as I was," Derek said.

"Again, I'd just like to state for the record that as much as I love you, there is no denying the fact that you are a stupid, stupid man," Kathleen said.

"And you're not a very nice sister," Derek retorted. "So why am I stupid this time?"

"Well, basically you told her - again - that you didn't trust her," Kathleen said.

"Wait, no, Meredith's the one with the trust issues in this relationship," Derek protested.

"Yeah, I get that. Meredith's got issues. I'm not here to talk about her issues at the moment, I'm here to talk about yours. And what you told her when you forced those house plans on her was that you didn't trust her to reach that point on her own. She was taking this big step for you, and you told her it wasn't enough. You told her you didn't trust that those steps would lead to the future that you wanted, and you told her that she wasn't worth waiting for," Kathleen said.

"You really think that's how she saw it?" Derek asked.

"Yup, I do. Sorry, Derek, I know this isn't easy for you to hear, but I think you need to hear it," Kathleen said sympathetically. "And then you ended it with her. Now tell me what happened next."

"Well, that nurse I told you about, the one I kissed in the scrub room, I took her to dinner that night," Derek said.

"Hold up, baby brother," Kathleen said. "You went on a date the same night that you broke up with Meredith?"

"Yeah, I did," Derek admitted.

"Do I even need to tell you what that looks like?" Kathleen asked.

"No, I get that that one was pretty bad," Derek said.

"Good. Now please tell that was a one time date and you never saw the nurse again," Kathleen said.

"I can't," Derek said, noting the disappointment in Kathleen's face. "I dated her for a while. We broke up last Friday."

"Damn," Kathleen muttered. "Okay, well, have you at least spoken to Meredith since the breakup?"

"No. She won't exactly talk to me right now, and her friends won't let me go see her until she says she wants to see me."

"Go see her? I thought you two worked at the same hospital…don't you see her at work?" Kathleen asked.

"Normally, yes. But right now…well, she's in L.A. right now," Derek sighed. "She was in a plane crash about two weeks ago."

"My God," Kathleen said, letting out a deep breath. "Is she going to be alright?"

"I don't know…I think so. It was touch and go for a while, but she seems to be doing better now. No one will really tell me much, except for one of Mer's friends, who seems to have taken pity on me. The rest of them hate me…even the chief yelled at me for the way I acted while we were broken up."

"And what exactly did you do?" Kathleen inquired.

"Well, I guess I was trying to prove that I didn't really need Meredith, you know? Show her that I could move on and find someone else. And Rose, she was pretty much the opposite of Meredith. Meredith wasn't really into big displays of affection at work, whereas Rose was all for them…so we kissed a lot, you know, in the cafeteria or at the nurses' station. I guess people saw that as me flaunting my new relationship or something," Derek said.

"Gee, I wonder why?" Kathleen replied sarcastically.

"I know, Kathleen, I know…I never intended to hurt her. I just got so frustrated with how slowly things were going, and I pushed too far, too fast. I pushed her away. You think I don't regret that every day? I never once stopped loving her, not for one minute. Even if my head was denying it, my heart wasn't. But I think I messed it up one too many times, and I think I might have really lost her this time," he said sadly.

"Why do you think that? She's certainly given you more second chances than most women would, I'm not sure I'd rule out another one just yet," Kathleen said.

Derek ran his hand through his hair as he let out a heavy sigh. He silently reached into his pocket and pulled out Meredith's letter, unfolded it and handed it to Kathleen.

* * *

"Meredith!" Callie called out happily as she entered the room with Mark, Dr. Hartley and Dr. Garrison trailing behind her. "It is so good to see you."

"It's really good to see you too, Callie," Meredith said. "How're my scans looking?"

"They're simply proving my initial assessment correct," Tyler Garrison interjected. "You've not regained any nerve function in the damaged leg, which for the sake of your own recovery should have been amputated two weeks ago."

Callie glared harshly at Tyler, who instinctively took a step back, before walking over to Meredith's side and pulling out a reflex hammer. After a few minutes of poking and prodding, she looked up at Meredith.

"Still nothing, Meredith?" she asked. Meredith shook her head as tears filled her eyes.

"Okay, don't freak out, Meredith," Callie tried to reassure her, placing her hand on Meredith's shoulder.

"It's been two weeks, Callie. If I was going to get any sensation back, it would have come by now, right?"

"Yes," Dr. Garrison said from the back of the room, his tone indicating that he was most annoyed they were still having this conversation.

"In most cases, yes," Callie continued, choosing to ignore Tyler Garrison. "Look, Meredith, I know, this is a pretty scary situation. We knew going into this that the odds weren't great, right?" Meredith nodded, numbly. "But I'm still not ready to give up, if you're willing to stick with me and try one more procedure?"

"What else can you do Callie?" Meredith asked.

"Nothing," an exasperated Tyler piped up from the back. "Dr. Torres here is grasping at straws."

"Shut up, Garrison. Now, Meredith, I want you to keep in mind that what I'm about to suggest is highly experimental, alright?" Meredith stared at Callie, her curious eyes willing her to continue. "Orthopedically, your bones are healing surprisingly well, and the main problem seems to be in the nerve connections, which as you know can be very difficult to repair surgically. There is, however, a relatively new procedure in which would implant a small electrical device under your knee cap to control the impulses in the malfunctioning nerves."

"Like a pacemaker for my leg?" Meredith asked.

Callie laughed. "I suppose it could be compared to that, yes, only a lot more complex. The thing is, it's a highly experimental procedure. It's only been performed a dozen times in the U.S., and of those, one-third of the patients regained eighty percent or more of lost sensation."

"And the others?" Meredith wanted to know.

"Two regained minimal sensation, while the other six remained in the same condition they were in before the surgery," Callie informed her.

"No one got worse?" Meredith asked.

"No, but the number of people who've had the procedure is still extremely small," Dr. Garrison added.

"So, basically, I've got nothing to lose and everything to gain?"

"Well, there is always the risk of complications – infection, additional scarring…" Dr. Garrison began.

"Tyler, I'm a surgeon. I know my body's been through hell the last two weeks. But I need to be able to walk. I can't lose this leg, so I need you to do whatever you need to do. Do the surgery," Meredith instructed.

"I refuse to use patients as guinea pigs, Dr. Grey," Dr. Garrison protested. "I will not, under any circumstances, perform this surgery for you."

Meredith nodded. "Get out," she said.

"Excuse me?" he asked, absolutely flabbergasted.

"You heard me. Get out. You're fired," Meredith ordered.

"Well, I never…" Tyler stammered.

"You heard the lady," Mark said. "I suggest you get out of here immediately, before I remove you myself."

"You're going to regret this, Grey, I'm sure of it," Tyler cautioned before storming out of the room, along the way stumbling embarrassingly over the leg Mark "accidently" stuck in his path.

After the laughter in the room died down, Meredith turned to Callie. "Callie, would you…I mean, do you know how to do the surgery? Could you do it?"

"Me? Well, I've never done it before, but then, neither has Garrison. I think if I could line up a satellite consult, then yeah, I could do it," Callie agreed.

"Good. You know, you could probably even publish if it goes well," Meredith suggested.

Callie blushed. "Meredith, I wouldn't dream of taking advantage…"

"Callie, if this surgery works, I'll be only the fifth person to have it successfully done, correct?" Callie nodded. "Well, in that case, I think I'd be insulted if I didn't make it into a medical journal!"


	34. So Much Trouble

**A/N: **That you all so much for the reviews - I'm trying to get back to most of you, but things have been crazy here. Which brings me to the good news/bad news: good news for me, because I'm getting a great new job. Bad new for my story, because I'm moving thousands of miles on very little notice, which means things are going to be insane for a while until I find a new place to live and get everything set up. So, while I will try to update regularly, since writing really is my release from stress, I apologize in advance if my updates are less regular or not quite as long as they typically are. Hopefully it won't take long for things to get back to normal!

This chapter finally has the story of Dr. Garrison's scars...I hope that you aren't disappointed! I feel like it was built up to be this huge, exciting thing, when the whole point was that it really wasn't all that exciting, just embarrassing for him. So I hope you like it!

* * *

"Wow," Kathleen sighed, folding up Meredith's letter and handing it back to Derek. "For a girl who doesn't do communication, she sure writes one heck of a letter, Derek."

"I know," he said. "Now you see why I'm scared I lost her?"

Kathleen nodded. "What was she talking about, you showing the house plans to Rose?"

"I…well, about two weeks after I showed them to Meredith, I decided I didn't want to wait, that I wanted to build the house anyway. Rose and I, we were in a relationship. We talked about stuff that was going on in our lives. When I mentioned that I was going to build a house on the land, and that I'd already had the plans drawn up, she asked to see them."

"And you thought, hey, the middle of the hospital where my ex-girlfriend works is a great place to do that?" Kathleen asked.

"Again, probably not my smartest move, but I wasn't thinking of it as showing her plans for _our_ house, I was thinking of it as showing her plans for _my_ house. I mean, we only went on a handful of actual dates…most of the time we spent together was at the hospital, so it was sort of natural that when she asked to see them, we were there."

Kathleen nodded silently, urging Derek to continue.

"Look, Rose and I talked about a lot of stuff…we talked about surgery, we talked about her past relationships, we talked about hospital gossip, we even talked about politics…but there were two things we never talked about. We never talked about Meredith, and we never talked about the future. When I showed her the house, it was just that. Me showing her a house. When I showed it to Meredith, I talked about _our _house. I talked about the bedrooms for our kids, I talked about the big porch where we could curl up and watch the sunset, I talked about the big living room where we'd put up our Christmas tree and the dining room where we'd have Thanksgiving with our friends and family."

"And when you showed it to Rose?"

"When I showed it to Rose, I talked about _my_ house. I didn't talk about kids' rooms, I talked about guest rooms for when my sisters come to visit, I…"

"Suck up," Kathleen interjected.

Derek just shook his head and continued. "I talked about a porch where my friends could hang out for barbeques. I talked about a dining room where I could entertain all my nieces and nephews. I didn't even talk about the living room. There was no talk of _us_ or of _our_ future, because as much as I was trying to be ready for all of that with Rose, I just couldn't stop feeling like something was wrong, like I was cheating on Meredith."

* * *

"So, when can we do the surgery?" Meredith asked excitedly.

"Don't look at me," Mark said. "If you behave and heal as I already instructed that skin to, you and I should be done meeting in the OR. This one's up to Callie."

"Well," Callie said. "I'll need some time to arrange the consult with a surgeon who has already done the procedure. Plus I'll need to find a neurosurgeon to scrub in, just to keep an eye on the nerves...it's really mostly an ortho procedure, but we need to be on the safe side, you know, just make sure I don't mess anything up any more than it is. And if it's possible, I'd prefer to do it back in Seattle, because, no offense," she nodded at Dr. Hartley, "But our ortho facilities are much better, and I'd feel better if you did your rehab with the same physical therapists the whole way through, rather than start with someone down here and then switch when we get you back to Seattle. Plus, even if I am in my last year, I'm technically still just a resident, so convincing Dr. Webber to let me do a rare experimental procedure with only a satellite consult with be difficult enough, let alone convincing St. Ambrose to give me surgical privileges."

"She's right about that one," Dr. Hartley agreed. "If Garrison won't do it, I doubt that Dr. King would be too keen on letting Dr. Torres have privileges."

"I guess I never thought about that," Meredith said. "So, I suppose the real question is, when can I go back to Seattle?"

"Well, that's the good news of the day," Dr. Hartley said with a smile. "Barring any complications, I'm going to go ahead and clear you for transport back to Seattle on Saturday."

"Thank God," Meredith said. "No offense, Dr. Hartley, Addison, I love having you guys around…but I miss Seattle. I miss the rain, and I miss Dr. Bailey, hell, I even miss our gossipy nurses. I tried to get Nurse Sarah to give me some good gossip, but she wouldn't…how'd St. Ambrose manage to find the only un-gossipy nurses in the country?"

"Have you met Charlotte King?" Addison asked sarcastically. "The woman would scare anyone into shutting up."

"True…I guess Dr. Webber is just too soft at heart to keep it all in check at Seattle Grace," Meredith smiled. "I can't wait to get back and catch up on all the gossip."

"Well, now, don't get too excited, Meredith…I'm certainly not releasing you until you share that story you owe me; the truth about Garrison's scars. All you've told me so far is that they happened in Boston."

"And that you used a tenblade," Callie added as everyone giggled.

"Now, I'm afraid you all have made it out to be much more exciting than it really it is," Meredith cautioned. "It's actually sort of a dull story."

"Oh, just tell us already, would you?" Callie scolded. "Dull or not, I can use it against Garrison at the next ortho convention."

* * *

"So, what are you planning on doing when Meredith gets back?" Kathleen asked.

"I don't know…I have to talk to her. Maybe if I go by at night, after visiting hours…" Derek started.

"Derek Christopher Shepherd!" Kathleen exclaimed, interrupting his answer. "Did you not read a word of this letter she wrote you? What part of stay away didn't you understand?"

"But…"

"Don't you start with me, baby boy," Kathleen scolded. "Derek, something about that letter tells me you haven't exactly been so great on giving her what she asked for in the past, so you need to start proving to her that you do respect her. Because sneaking into her room in the middle of the night, that's not respect. That's you caring more about clearing your guilty conscience than about whether or not you hurt her."

"So what do you think I should do?" Derek asked sadly.

"Write her a letter. Give it to that friend of hers who'll actually speak to you, and ask her to give it to her."

"What exactly should I write?" Derek asked.

"I can't tell you what to say to her, Derek. That needs to come from your heart. I'm pretty sure 'I'm sorry' would be a good place to start, though."

"I guess," Derek sighed. "I'll do it tonight. I've still got a few days before she comes back, I think. Do you want to read it before I give it to Izzie? Make sure I don't say anything stupid?"

"Normally, I'd say no, that they are your personal thoughts and only Meredith should read them, but given the fact that you haven't exactly demonstrated a very high IQ when it comes to handling your relationship, I think that it might be a good idea," Kathleen agreed.

Derek nodded, knowing she was right. "Now, will you let me take my favorite sister out for a nice dinner?"

Glancing at her watch, Kathleen was surprised to see it was already nearly four o'clock. Laughing slightly, she smiled at Derek. "I guess we did talk most of the day away. I should probably find a hotel…I'm pretty sure I don't want to stay here with you."

"Yeah, not sure where I'd put you," Derek laughed. "Let me take you by the Archfield. It's a nice place, I think you'll like it. Then we'll go to dinner and you can catch me up on all the family news I've missed. I'm sure Mom has left a lot out, since most of our calls consist of her yelling at me for being a horrible son."

"Yeah, Mom has…" Kathleen began, before a sudden thought stopped her mid-sentence. "Oh crap!"

"What?" Derek asked, instantly concerned by his sister's actions. "What's wrong, Kathleen?"

"Oh, baby brother, you have gotten me in so much trouble!" she told him. "I didn't call Mom…and it's Wednesday," she sighed.

"What are you talking about, Kathleen?" Derek asked again.

"It's Wednesday, Derek. _Wednesday_," she emphasized, knowing eventually he'd make the connection.

"Wednesday?" Derek asked, very confused. "Oh…Wednesday, Wednesday," he muttered, having finally remembered. Wednesdays were very important to the Shepherd women. Once a week, they'd meet up at his mother's house, just the women of the family, no men allowed. They'd have a good dinner, a few bottles of wine, and spend the evening talking about…well, Derek was fairly certain that he didn't want to know what they spent the evening talking about. It had been one of Addison's favorite things about being a member of the Shepherd family, these Wednesday dinner parties. Maggie Shepherd hated it when someone was missing from these weekly dinners. Three of her four daughters had become doctors, though, so she'd grown somewhat used to the occasional unplanned absence. Nevertheless, she still expected at least a phone call, if not from the daughter who'd been called away to some emergency, at least from the nurse or disgruntled intern she'd asked to make the call. To simply not show up was simply inexcusable in the Shepherd family.

"Oh man, Mom is going to kill you," Derek laughed. "What time were you supposed to be there?"

"Shut up, this is your fault," Kathleen snapped. "I was supposed to be there at 6:30, but that's east coast time, so half an hour ago. She'll wait exactly fifteen minutes before she starts calling. Knowing Mom, she'll call the office first…they'll tell her I called in the middle of the night and left a message to cancel everything I had for the week…that'll freak her out, so she'll call the house and talk to Tom. He'll explain everything to her."

"So nothing to worry about," Derek smiled. "Shall we go?"

"Unless Tom's not there…what if she doesn't talk to Tom? Then she'll call my cell," Kathleen continued, ignoring Derek and pulling out her cell phone. "This is bad, Derek, this could be very bad."

"Come on," Derek said, grabbing her by the elbow and steering her towards his car. "You're not going to solve anything by sitting here, and reception will be better when we get back into the city, anyway."

* * *

"So spill, Grey," Callie laughed, eager to finally hear the story behind Tyler Garrison's infamous scars.

"Well, you all know I grew up in Boston with my mother, right?" Meredith asked, to which everyone nodded. "Dr. Hartley, I think you're the only one here who never met my mother. She was, well…I'm not really sure what the right word for mother is," Meredith mused.

"Intense?" Callie offered.

"Demanding?" Mark tossed out.

"Intimidating?" Addison threw into the mix.

"Scary and bitchy," George said, somewhat quietly and quickly, but loud enough that he drew stares from everyone in the room. "What? She was," he protested, somewhat embarrassed that he had actually said it out loud.

Meredith just laughed. "I think all of those things applied to my mother. She was absolutely terrifying to work for, from what I understand. Me, I wasn't scared of her, not once I was old enough to understand her, which was maybe age 10 or so. She loved her work, and she buried herself in it. She had very high expectations of everyone, especially her fellows. 15 years ago, Tyler Garrison was one of the unfortunate few to be doing a fellowship year under my mother. I never could understand why anyone would willing put up with my mother for a year, but I guess the general expectation in the medical community was that if you could survive an entire year of belonging to Ellis Grey, you had to be good. I mean, me personally? I can't imagine going through the all those years of med school, then the hell that is internship and residency, only to willingly top it off with a year of being at my mother's beck and call. But, some people are crazier than others," Meredith commented.

"And I think Garrison definitely qualifies as crazy," Dr. Hartley agreed. "And probably pompous enough to think that he could handle her."

"Oh, he definitely was. I used to hang out at the hospital when I was younger…well, at least until I started my rebellious phase my sophomore year of high school. But before then, the nurses would fill me in on all the gossip. Apparently Tyler gave my mother fits because he was always hitting on the female patients."

"Why am I not surprised?" Addison laughed.

"He was trouble, even back then. Unfortunately, he managed to catch me right at the beginning of that rebellious phase. One day, I was hanging out in the ER, hoping to catch my mother when she came down for a consult. I'd gotten in trouble at school, and needed her to sign this form, saying that she knew I'd been suspended. The school had tried to call, but she was too busy to take the calls, so they'd finally agreed I could have her sign a form. I knew she'd be pissed if she knew what she was signing, but I also knew that if I caught her on the way to a consult, she'd be so eager to get rid of me, she wouldn't even look at the form when she signed it."

"You really were a troublemaker, weren't you?" Mark teased.

"You have no idea. Remind me sometime and I'll tell you all about the pink hair phase," Meredith laughed.

"Pink hair? That's pretty hot, Grey," Mark joked. "Care to try it again?"

"Shut it, McSteamy. I'm telling a story here," Meredith smiled. "So, anyway, I was waiting for my mom to get called down, when Tyler came into the ER. He was a complete ass, even then. And he was hitting on me, which was completely gross, because I was 14 and he was at least 30…granted, I was wearing make up, and a really short skirt, but still…ew, right? So I told him that he was a gross old man, and I'd never look twice at him. I knew who he was, the nurses had pointed out all my mother's fellows to me a few months earlier. So when he grabbed my arm to yell at me, I just told him he really ought to let go or I'd tell my mother that he was hitting on me. He laughed, said a few words about why no mother would take the word of her trashy daughter over a respected surgeon like him, and I sort of lost it. I was near an equipment locker, and the nurses had left out a tray when the latest emergency had rolled up, so I grabbed a tenblade and slashed at his shoulder. When he let go of me to grab at the cut, I ran away, and sort of reached back and slashed his ass just to make sure he wouldn't follow me. He was crying like a little girl when I left."

"Are you serious?" Dr. Hartley asked, barely able to hold back her laughter. "All this time he makes it out to be some big thing, and it's because he flirted with an angry teenager?"

"Yup," Meredith nodded. "I told you it wasn't actually all that exciting."

"Here's what I don't understand," Mark said. "If you used a scalpel, it should have been a clean cut. So why does everyone say it looks so terrible?"

"That's my mother's fault," Meredith said, laughing at the memory that sprang into her mind. "She was pissed when she found Tyler, but only because he was making a scene. She had an intern suture up his butt while she went looking for me. I'm still not quite sure who she was punishing more, me or him, but she made me suture his shoulder."

"Garrison let a fourteen year old suture his shoulder? God, Meredith, that's going to be gold at the conference, you have no idea," Callie laughed, clearly pleased with her new ammunition.

"Yeah, well, my mother didn't really give him much of a choice. She supervised, but still…that was the first time I'd ever sutured anything, and I think I can safely say that there's a reason we don't let med students start out on real people," Meredith said. "I wasn't exactly steady with my stitching."

* * *

"Derek, seriously, Mom is going to kill me if I don't call her," Kathleen complained as Derek dropped her suitcase on the floor of her room at the Archfield.

"I told you, Kath, just let her call you," Derek laughed. "It isn't like she's going to be happy either way, you're already late."

"I'm so telling her you want her to come visit," Kathleen teased, opening up the suitcase to find something to wear for dinner.

"You wouldn't dare!" Derek gasped, earning a fresh round of laughter from Kathleen as she tossed clothing haphazardly out of the suitcase. Derek knew full well if he aggravated her enough, she most certainly would dare.

"Sheesh, Kath, did you pack your whole closet?" Derek asked, amazing at the volume of clothing flying out of the suitcase and landing on the bed.

"Well, someone didn't give me much time to think about what to pack, or even any idea of how long I'd be staying, so I just grabbed anything that was clean."

"Sorry about that…how long are you planning on staying?" Derek asked.

"I don't know yet. Depends on how long you need me, I guess," Kathleen said. "I cancelled everything at work until Friday, and I never work on the weekends anyway, so I'm set until at least Sunday. We can reevaluate over the weekend."

"Sounds great," Derek said. "I think you should stay forever."

"Nah, you'd get sick of me," Kathleen laughed. "Besides, my other half might get a little annoyed if his wife up and moved across the country."

"I'm hurt," Derek pretended to pout. "I thought I was your other half?"

Before she could shoot another sharp reply back, Kathleen was interrupted by the ringing of her cell phone. Glancing at the screen, she sighed and turned it towards Derek. He groaned as he saw the blue letters flashing on the screen, mocking them with the words 'Mom Home'.

"We are so dead," they both muttered simultaneously as Kathleen flipped open the phone and hit the button for the speaker phone.


	35. I Should Have Known

**A/N:** I'm so glad that you all like the Garrison story in the last chapter! I'm really excited to be introducing even more Shepherds in this chapter, so I hope that you enjoy them!

* * *

"Chief Webber," Richard Webber said quickly, relieved to have an excuse to turn away from the mountain of paperwork that had been consuming his evening.

"Chief, it's Callie Torres," Callie said, fiddling with the ring around her neck as she sat in the hall outside Meredith's hospital room. She had no idea how the chief would react to the idea of Meredith's surgery. She just hoped he didn't insist on calling in someone else, because as much as Callie would never admit it, she desperately wanted to do this surgery.

"Dr. Torres, how are you? How is everything in Los Angeles?" Richard asked politely, wondering what had warranted this call. He knew if something were wrong with Meredith, he'd be hearing from Mark or Addison, but he couldn't help but notice that Callie sounded incredibly nervous.

"Oh, things are just fine here, Chief. They're planning to bring Meredith back up to Seattle on Saturday, although I'm sure you'd heard that already," Callie said. "I was actually hoping to talk to you about what happens after she returns."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you see, sir, she's still not getting any sensation in her leg. As much as I'd like to say it could come back in time, I think we all know at this point that's not likely to happen. What I'd like to do, sir…with your permission, of course, because I know it's unusual, what with me not being an attending…but I'd like to go in and implant a sub-patellar impulse regulator."

"You're kidding me, right, Torres? Do you have any idea how experimental that device is? How difficult the implantation is?" Richard asked, absolutely astounded that she was even considering this.

"I know, sir, but right now, I'd say it's the only chance Meredith has of walking again, and she asked me to do the surgery. I'd of course want to get a satellite consult for the procedure to guide me through it. Sir, I know it's unusual, but I perform solo surgeries all the time, I'm an excellent fifth year, you know that. And it's what Meredith wants," Callie pleaded.

"Dr. Torres, there is more to consider here than just whether or not you are capable of performing this surgery. We'd have to get a neurosurgeon involved. Shepherd is much too emotionally involved to be in on this, and I'd want the best for a procedure this tricky, so we'd have to fly someone in. Then there's the approval for the surgery itself...given the highly experimental nature of the device and the surgery, I'm just not sure I could approve something like this," Richard sighed. A surgery like this, if successful, would be incredible publicity for the hospital once the result was published. But it was also expensive, would require a costly outside consult, and had a very low chance of actually succeeding.

"Fine," Callie said. "Chief, if you don't approve this surgery, it'll be you who gets to tell Meredith Grey that she's never going to walk again. You can tell her that because you're too afraid to approve a surgery, her only shot at walking is going out the window. Have fun with that conversation. Should I go hand her the phone?"

"Dr. Torres, are you attempting to emotionally blackmail me?" Richard asked, astounded again at Callie's straightforwardness.

"Did it work?"

"Fine," Richard caved, hoping the rest of his staff would never discover his weakness for protecting Meredith Grey. "You can tell Meredith we'll schedule the surgery for Monday. I'll work on getting the neuro consult in by then, you deal with finding someone to walk you through the procedure via satellite."

* * *

"Hi Mom," Kathleen said cheerily, grimacing as she braced for the onslaught of her mother's shouting. "How are you?"

"Kathleen Michelle Myers! Don't you dare pretend that you don't know why I'm calling, and don't even think about trying to make small talk with me, young lady!" Maggie Shepherd's voice rang out over the phone. Derek smiled as he heard a clamor in the background. Although it was muffled, he could tell that all three of his other sisters were there, demanding to speak with Kathleen.

"Mom, I'm so sorry I didn't call to tell you I'd be missing dinner tonight. Something came up suddenly and I had to take care of it. It completely slipped my mind that I wouldn't be able to be at dinner," Kathleen said calmly.

"You think I'm concerned that you didn't call?" Maggie asked. "Of course, that was rude, and I appreciate that you at least recognize that fact. No, sweetheart, what I want to know is why you didn't tell me you and Tom were splitting up. I didn't even know you were having problems!"

Derek nearly lost it at that point, and had to slap his hand to his mouth to keep from bursting into laughter. The idea of Kathleen and her husband having major problems was absolutely laughable, and both Derek and Kathleen knew it. After all, only the two of them, and of course Tom, knew just how rash her wedding had been – they'd at least had the sense to tell the rest of the family that they were sober when they suddenly got married – and only Derek knew just how close the two of them had been to ending it all. Derek knew that if Kathleen couldn't walk away then, when he'd stood with her at the attorney's office in Las Vegas and watched her rip up the unsigned annulment papers, she certainly wouldn't be walking away now.

"Mother!" Kathleen protested, again prompting Derek to bring his hand straight back to his mouth. They only called their mom 'Mother' in the direst of circumstances, and just hearing it was enough to make Derek laugh. "What on earth would give you the idea that Tom and I are having problems? Because, I can assure, we most certainly are not!"

"Well what am I supposed to think, Kathleen? I called your office, and they told me you'd left a message in the middle of the night to cancel everything you had scheduled for the week, saying it was some sort of family emergency. Of course I thought something was wrong with the kids, so I called your house to talk to Tom."

"If you talked to Tom, I'm sure he explained everything. So why are you still freaking out?"

"I didn't talk to Tom. Apparently, he was out getting pizza for the kids. I would like to know, if you aren't having problems, why Connor tells me that you left in the middle of the night, in a cab, and that he doesn't know when you'll be back? Why he tells me that you were upset, and that you packed in a big hurry? Because it sure sounds to me like you were leaving your husband," Maggie explained.

"Mom, you really ought to know better than to trust a five year old for your information," Kathleen laughed. "I already told you, I got called away suddenly, and I had to leave in the middle of the night because I had to get to the airport in time to make an early flight. I took a cab because Tom and I didn't want to leave the kids alone that early in the morning. Really, you have to stop exaggerating everything into a great disaster."

"What am I supposed to think? You didn't even tell me that you were leaving town!" Maggie protested.

"Mom, what part of 'suddenly' don't you understand? I didn't even know until late last night that I was leaving," Kathleen said, shooting an exasperated look at Derek. He recognized her plea for help and smiled.

"Go easy on her, Mom," Derek piped up. "I kidnapped her, completely against her will."

"Not now, Derek, I'm…" Maggie began, but then suddenly stopped, the realization of who she was speaking to finally sinking in. "What the hell? Derek Christopher Shepherd!!" she screamed.

* * *

Meredith smiled as she heard a soft knock at her door. Looking up, she wasn't surprised to Molly walking in, a baby carrier in her arms.

"I was wondering when you were going to come by," Meredith said. "It was weird not having you here when I woke up this morning."

"I'm really sorry," Molly said. "Laura was just really cranky after the flight, and I though it would be better if she rested, and then I just got caught up in taking care of her, and I…"

"Molly," Meredith interrupted. "I'm not upset. I was just commenting…I understand you've got to take care of Laura. I'm just glad you brought her with you."

"I'd offer to let you hold her, but…" Molly indicated Meredith's bandaged arms. "I don't think it would be the best idea."

"I know," Meredith said sadly. "You could just put the carrier here, near my hand. I can at least hold her hand. Or rather, she can hold my finger."

Molly smiled. "Of course."

"She's really pretty, Molly. And she's doing alright, isn't she? I mean, there haven't been any more problems?" Meredith asked, remembering the troubles Laura had been through right after her birth.

"She's perfect. Absolutely perfect," Molly said, smiling at the sight of Meredith playing with the baby, at least as best she could around her injuries.

"Good, I'm glad," Meredith said. "I really didn't think I'd ever have a chance to see her again, you know, after you took her home from the NICU. I never imagined that this, the whole family thing, would be a part of my future, especially after everything that happened with your mom. I never even thought it was something that I could ever really want to have, but I think I do want it."

"Meredith, you know I don't blame you for that, right?" Molly asked tentatively. "The whole thing with Mom?"

Meredith nodded, but Molly continued.

"I mean, I know what Dad said, but when Dad drinks, he'll say just about anything. And I really didn't know what happened, but I knew it couldn't really be anybody's fault. I mean, stuff happens when you have surgery, even if everything else goes alright, I know it can be dangerous. And I don't really understand all the medical stuff, but Lexie told me it was all a bunch of unavoidable complications, and there wasn't anything anyone could have done. I really should have said something, that day when Dad came to see you at the hospital, the day of the funeral. I mean, we really shouldn't have even let him come to the hospital, I just didn't know he was going to say that. He said he just wanted to talk to you. And then when he started yelling...I really wasn't myself that day, but I still should have stopped him sooner...and I should have apologized then."

"Molly, it's really okay. I mean, it's not okay that he said those things, but you didn't do anything wrong. You didn't know, and you aren't responsible for what Thatcher does," Meredith assured her.

"I know…in my head, I know it isn't my fault, but I still feel guilty," Molly said.

Meredith smiled sadly at her. "I know the feeling."

* * *

Derek laughed as he heard his sisters screaming in the background behind his mother, jostling for the phone, demanding to know what Kathleen was doing with Derek.

"I should have known it," he heard Nancy say. "If Kathleen's doing something to get herself in trouble, of course Derek is there."

"Those two always have been too close," he heard Beth add. "Sometimes I swear they're closer than the twins."

"Would you two back off," Kathleen and Derek laughed as they heard Abby join the fray. Despite being the youngest, and smallest, of the Shepherd children, Abby had always been the fiercest, and she'd been able to outfight all of them by the time she was five. "Kathleen, are you bringing Derek home?" Abby shouted, having finally wrestled the phone away from her sisters.

"Abs, he's not moving home," Kathleen laughed. "He loves Seattle."

"Then you clearly haven't done your job," Abby laughed. "Derek, we miss you! You never call…I haven't talked to you in over a year! I've practically been begging Matt to get a consult in Seattle, just so we could have an excuse to come see you."

Derek was about to respond when he heard the fighting resume. Finally, his mother's voice rang out above the others.

"Honestly, when are you three going to grow up and stop acting like small children? You'd think you were raised by wolves! He's my son, and I've barely talked to him any more than you lot have, not to mention the fact that she's my daughter! Do we really want to bring how long I was in labor with each of you monsters into the argument?" Maggie shouted.

Maggie's arguments were met with silence, signaling her daughters' acceptance that their mother would carry out this conversation. Kathleen was certain, however, that she hadn't heard the last of her sisters, and that now that they knew where she was, her phone would be ringing nonstop until Derek had talked to each and every one of them.

* * *

"Okay Meredith, I just talked to the chief and we're a go for surgery on Monday," Callie said as she entered Meredith's room later that evening.

"Well, that's good news. He didn't give you too much trouble about doing it alone, did he?" Meredith asked.

"No, no, not too much," Callie assured her. "He's called Charles Larkins in Chicago to see if he'll fly out for the neuro consult. Larkins would be great, if he'd agree to come…he did the neuro on the last successful implant a few months ago in New York."

"He's good, right? I think I remember Derek mentioning him a few times, but I'm not sure why," Meredith wondered aloud.

"Oh, he's very good. No offense to Dr. Shepherd, but even if the chief didn't think he was too close to your case to work it, I'm pretty sure I'd want to ask for one of the three or four neurosurgeons who'd actually assisted with the procedure before," Callie smiled.

"Dr. Shepherd…he's the one you wrote the letter to, right?" Molly asked from her spot at Meredith's bedside.

"You wrote Shepherd a letter?" Callie asked curiously.

"I had some things I needed to say," Meredith said, not really wanting to discuss Derek with anyone at that moment. "Who do you have for the ortho consult?"

"I've got a call in to a guy I know in New York, Matt Javenson. He's done three of these surgeries, and he's really keen on making this a more common surgery, so I don't think it should be a problem getting him to walk me through it," Callie said, pausing as her cell phone started ringing. "Speak of the devil, there he is. Excuse me for just a minute."

* * *

Stepping outside the room, Callie flipped open her phone. "Callie Torres," she said quickly.

"Callie, Matt Javenson here. I just got your message. You said something about needing a consult?"

"Yes, actually I'm planning to perform a sub-patellar impulse regulator implantation early next week, and I was hoping you might be available for a satellite consult to walk me through it," Callie said.

"Webber's letting you do that with just a satellite?" Matt asked, clearly impressed.

"Yeah, well, he's a push-over…but don't you dare tell him I said that!"

"Don't worry," Matt laughed. "I wouldn't dare. I'd be happy to help out via satellite, and I'm sure I won't have a problem getting the equipment here on my end. I'm only sorry you aren't asking for an in-person consult. My brother-in-law moved to Seattle a year and a half ago, and my wife is just dying to go out and visit him. Well, in her mind, I'm sure she wants to swoop him up and convince him to move back to New York, but you know how family can be."

* * *

"Now, Kathleen Michelle, I want you to explain to me exactly what you are doing in Seattle," Maggie Shepherd instructed over the telephone. "Is Derek hurt?"

"No, Mom, Derek's fine. Really, he's fine. You know how we are…sometimes we just miss each other. Derek called last night, we decided I definitely needed to visit, and the next thing I knew, I was on a plane," Kathleen said.

"Just like that? Spur of the moment?" Maggie asked.

"Come on, Mom, it isn't like you'd expect any less of the Siamese Shepherds, is it?" Derek added. "You really can't expect rational thought from the two of us, you ought to know that better than anyone."

Maggie's sigh was audible through the phone lines. "Are you sure you're alright, Derek? Because I am your mother and for some reason, I get the feeling you aren't telling me everything."

"Mom, I'm fine. Honestly," Derek insisted. "I was just missing my sister, and she was nice enough to fly out here and see me. It's not a big deal, I swear."

"If you say so…" Maggie agreed reluctantly, knowing there was more that her children weren't telling her. "Are you sure you don't need me to come visit?"

"Mom, he's fine," Kathleen protested. "Now, we're going to be late for our dinner reservation…I'm making my baby brother buy me a big fancy meal. So, how about we call you tomorrow, okay?"

"Alright, you two have fun, but please, stay out of trouble," Maggie warned.

"You know us, Mom," Derek laughed.

"That's what I'm talking about, Derek," Maggie said. "I love you both."

"We love you too, Mom. Talk to you tomorrow," Kathleen said.


	36. Abby's Matt?

**A/N:** Another day, another chapter! A lot of you picked up on Derek's connection to the consult for Meredith's surgery...that is dealt with a lot more in this chapter and the next. I hope you enjoy it!

* * *

"Really, Kathleen, I'm sure there are more exciting things for you to do in Seattle than follow me to work," Derek laughed as Kathleen tagged along behind him into the attendings' locker room the next morning.

"Nope. You know I love to watch you work. Besides, I want to meet your friends. I need to find out what Seattle Derek is like," Kathleen said, taking a seat while Derek grabbed his scrubs.

"I don't have friends here, Kathleen," Derek said. "Not really."

"Derek, that is the saddest thing I've ever heard. Who do you talk to all day?"

"My patients and my colleagues," Derek said.

"And what about Mark? Are you still mad at him?"

"No," Derek sighed. "I stopped being mad at Mark a while ago. We're friends, sort of. I mean, not like before, but we talk sometimes. So okay, maybe I have a friend."

"So if you wanted to grab a drink after work and Mark was busy, who would you ask?" Kathleen asked, already knowing Derek's answer. Her brother was never the type to form a casual friendship. Derek tended to have a few very close friends and no one else. Most of the many friendships he'd had in New York had been "couple" friendships, and had been maintained mostly by Addison, so it didn't surprise Kathleen to find that, given the amount of time he'd invested in his relationship with Meredith, Derek had neglected to form many other relationships.

"I'd go alone or I just wouldn't go," Derek said.

"Fine, be that way. Don't introduce me to your friends. Does Meredith have friends?" Kathleen asked.

"Yes, Meredith has a lot of friends," Derek said. "Why?"

"I want to meet Meredith's friends, then," Kathleen said, smiling slyly. "Maybe one of them will tell me what happened to your nose."

"I thought I told you to lay off that. I don't want to talk about what happened to my nose, Kathleen," Derek said quickly.

"My, my. Touchy, aren't we?" Kathleen laughed playfully. "Come on, I wouldn't want you to be late for rounds, Dr. Shepherd."

* * *

"Man, even lying in a hospital bed, Meredith gets all the good surgeries!" Cristina moaned, clicking her phone shut as she walked into the residents' locker room.

"What are you complaining about, Yang?" Bailey snapped at her.

"Um…nothing, ma'am. I was just commenting that it was very exciting that Meredith is going to have a sub-patellar impulse regulator implanted when she gets back to Seattle Grace," Cristina said quickly.

"She's having a what?" Izzie said, nearly spitting out her coffee. "Seriously?"

"The girl sure knows how to keep things interesting around here," Bailey said, shaking her head and laughing slightly as she left the locker room.

"Grey's getting a sub-patellar? Dude, there's only been what, a dozen of those done?" Alex said. "That's going to be one hell of a surgery. Who're they bringing in to do it?"

"Larkins is flying in for the neuro, but you want to know the kicker? Webber's letting Torres do the ortho herself. I mean, he's letting a fifth year perform a solo sub-patellar!" Cristina said.

"Callie's doing it solo? Wow, that's going to be amazing for her career," Izzie gushed. "I mean, if it works…and it's Mer, so let's face it, it has to work…so when it works, she can publish. This is going to be incredible for her. Is she getting a satellite consult?"

Cristina and Alex stared at Izzie as if she'd just sprouted another head.

"Dude, Iz, are you feeling alright?" Alex asked. "You're actually talking nice about Torres."

"It is strange, Barbie," Cristina agreed.

"Guys, I'm trying here, okay? I screwed up the first time around, I get it. I'm trying to be nice, because all Callie ever did was love George, and I messed that up because I was jealous. So this time, if they do get back together, I'm trying to be nice, because I am not going to be responsible for breaking up a marriage twice," Izzie said, trying to keep her voice from shaking.

"Aw, I think Barbie grew a brain," Cristina said.

* * *

As soon as Derek and Kathleen stepped out of the locker room, Derek found himself cornered by two interns. He knew he should know them…the woman at least looked familiar. Guzman, he was fairly certain. He was pretty sure she belonged to Izzie.

"Dr. Shepherd, are the rumors true?" the woman he presumed to be Dr. Guzman asked eagerly.

"Are you listening to nurses gossip when you should be saving lives, doctors?" Derek asked the interns sarcastically, feeling fairly certain they were talking about one of the many rumors now circulating about his love life.

"Hey man, we just figured if anyone would know, it would be you," the male intern stated. He reminded Derek a little bit of Alex Karev, only less smooth and, if possible, even more annoying.

"And why would he know anything about hospital gossip?" Kathleen asked. "Does my baby brother look like a nurse to you?" She giggled as she said it, knowing she could defend herself by saying she was only sticking up for Derek, even if embarrassing him had been a fringe benefit. Derek just glared over at her.

"Oh, we know he's not a nurse," Dr. Guzman corrected. "We just figured, he's the head neuro guy around here, so if anyone would know if we were actually going to be doing a sub-patellar impulse regulator implantation, it would be you, right? Because yeah, it's mostly an ortho thing, but they still need neuro on board."

"It would be totally awesome if it were going to happen here," the male intern agreed.

_Totally awesome?_ Derek thought, smiling slightly. _Definitely Izzie's interns_.

"So, is it true?" the interns asked together.

"I can honestly say, this is the first I've heard of it," Derek shrugged.

"Damn," Dr. Guzman muttered. "I knew it was too good to be true."

"I would kill to get in on a surgery like that," the other intern said as they walked away from Derek and Kathleen. "Then again, Stevens hates us, she'd probably stick us down in the clinic or something on the day it came in."

Kathleen laughed. "Interns are aggressive in Seattle, Derek. Very aggressive," she shook her head slightly. "I hope you have a good on staff psychiatrist for them. What the hell is a sub-patellar impulse regulator anyway? It sounds familiar, but I can't really place it."

"Yeah, I'll bet you've heard about it…that's Matt's baby," Derek said as they headed towards the nurses' station.

"Abby's Matt?" Kathleen asked. "I guess that would explain why it sounds familiar. I usually just tune him out after a few minutes…there's only so long that I can listen to him talking about cracking bones before I go insane."

"Yup, Abby's Matt," Derek laughed. "He's been working on it with a few other ortho guys. He actually called me about a year ago to do the neuro work on the procedure, but I had a lot going on out here, so I turned him down. The whole thing is very new and very experimental. Basically, the theory is that a lot of leg amputations occur because of a problem with nerve transmissions after a trauma, rather than because of any actual bone issue. It's pretty controversial, but the regulator is a little device they implant under the kneecap that supposedly reads and transmits the impulses when they hit the nerves that would have been there. I think it's only worked in about a third of the cases it's been tried on, and it's only been attempted maybe a dozen times."

"Sounds kind of strange to me…I mean, how can they be sure it's a nerve thing? And how can they be sure they're putting it in the right place for the right nerves?" Kathleen asked, intrigued by the concept.

"That's one of the reasons it's so controversial. At this point, you get in there, the neurosurgeon examines the nerves and makes his best guess, and then the ortho implants the device based on that. It's a guessing game. I'm glad the interns are wrong, too, because I know if we were doing one, the chief would want me in on it."

"And how is that a bad thing?" Kathleen asked.

"I hate experimental surgery. I like going in and knowing what I'm doing. Even if it's risky, I like knowing that I know how to do what I'm going in to do. I don't like fumbling in the dark, making guesses. Experimental surgery gets everyone's hopes up, and I don't like it."

* * *

"Good morning, ladies," Kevin smiled as he entered Meredith's hospital room the next morning. Spotting the tray by Meredith's bed, he could tell Addison and Molly were trying to convince her to eat hospital food. "You aren't seriously thinking about eating that soup they're calling scrambled eggs, are you Meredith?"

Meredith smiled coyly. "Maybe, maybe not. Did you bring me something better?"

"Well," Kevin laughed, producing a box from behind his back. "We may have had a few extra donuts at the station this morning."

"I think I love him," Meredith smiled at Molly and Addison. "Are you sure he doesn't have a brother somewhere?"

"Sorry," Addison smiled as Kevin placed the box the table and leaned over to kiss her on the cheek. "There's only one of him, and he's all mine."

"Fine. If I can't have the man, can I at least have the jelly donut, please?" Meredith laughed.

"You see? This is how I know that we are sisters," Molly giggled as she reached over and handed Meredith the donut. "You've got your priorities perfectly straight."

"Oooh, who brought donuts?" Callie asked happily as she and George entered the room.

"Kevin," Meredith said through a mouthful of sugar and jelly.

"Callie, George, I'd like to meet my boyfriend, Kevin Nelson," Addison said. "Kevin, these are my friends Callie Torres and George O'Malley, from Seattle. They came down to visit Meredith."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Kevin smiled. "I wish I could stay, but I just stopped by to drop off breakfast. I've got to get back to the station before my lieutenant figures out I'm missing."

As Kevin headed back out the door, Callie smiled mischievously at Addison. "Okay, now I definitely see why you won't come back to Seattle, Addie. He's yummy."

"Yeah, I guess he's pretty great," Addison softly.

"Oh please, just admit it, Addison," Meredith laughed. "You are head over heels in love with that man and you know it. You'd marry him right here, right now, if he asked you to."

* * *

"Morning, Chief," Derek called out as he and Kathleen walked past Richard on their way to the coffee cart later that morning.

"Derek," Richard said. "I was actually hoping to talk to you this morning. Do you have a minute?" He motioned towards his office.

"Sure, Chief. Oh, have you met my sister yet? Kathleen, this is Richard Webber, our chief of surgery. Richard, this is my sister, Dr. Kathleen Myers."

"Aren't all the Shepherd children doctors, Derek?" Richard asked with a laugh as he shook Kathleen's hand.

"Actually, our youngest sister isn't," Kathleen said. "Although her husband is, so I guess there's at least one doctor in every branch of the Shepherd family. Do you two need me to wait outside while you talk?"

"Oh, I don't think that's necessary," Richard said. "Why don't you two have a seat?"

"So, what's on your mind, Chief?" Derek asked.

"I just wanted to let you know that Charles Larkins will be coming in to perform a consult for us next week. I didn't want him to just show up and catch you off guard," Richard said.

"Larkins? Richard, I don't get it. I'm not trying to sound conceited or anything, but I'm a hell of a lot better than Larkins. Why would you call someone in over my head?" Derek asked, obviously offended by the gesture.

"On Monday, Callie Torres is going to be performing a sub-patellar impulse regulator implantation, Derek. Dr. Larkins has assisted on several of these procedures, including one successful procedure a few months ago. We need someone with experience with the procedure, since Dr. Torres herself has never performed one."

"And why exactly are you bending the rules to allow a resident to perform an experimental procedure on her own?" Derek asked. "Shouldn't you be calling in an ortho consult as well?"

"In theory, yes. And Dr. Torres is arranging a satellite consult. But Derek, the surgery…well, you see, the patient is Meredith Grey."

"Mer…Meredith? You intend to let a fifth year resident perform an experimental procedure on Meredith?" Derek asked angrily.

"Derek, there truly aren't any other good options here. Meredith specifically asked that Callie be allowed to perform the procedure; she doesn't trust anyone else. And quite frankly, this really is a last ditch effort…if this doesn't work, Meredith won't walk again, at least not with her own leg."

* * *

"So, everything is all set for the surgery," Callie filled everyone in as they hung out in Meredith's room. "Charles Larkins will fly in from Chicago on Sunday, so we'll be all set for the surgery on Monday."

"Who'd you get for the ortho consult?" Meredith asked.

"Oh, Matt Javenson in New York is going to be with us via satellite to walk me through it. He's done a couple of these procedures himself; actually, he was part of the group of surgeons who helped develop it a year ago, so he'll be a great help," Callie said.

"I'm sorry, did you say Matt Javenson?" Addison asked, to which Callie nodded. "It is a small world," Addison laughed.

"Hey, are you having a Disney sing-a-long without me? So not nice," Mark teased as he walked into the room.

"Very funny, Mark," Addison said. "No, I just think it's quite a coincidence that the ortho consult for Meredith's surgery on Monday is going to be Matt Javenson."

"Why is that so funny?" Meredith asked, thoroughly confused. "Am I the only one who doesn't get this?"

"No," Molly and Callie assured her.

"Wait, hold on, Matt Javenson, as in, little Abby's Matt?" Mark asked Addison.

"Well, I can't imagine there are too many other Matthew Javensons in New York who are also orthopedic surgeons," Addison answered.

"Excuse me!" Callie interrupted. "Would you two care to let the rest of us in on this little joke?"

"It's just…Matt Javenson went to med school with Addie, Derek and I," Mark said.

"We weren't close friends or anything," Addison said. "Just acquaintances, really, but then after graduation we all ended up in the same internship program."

"And then two years later, Matt married little Abby Shepherd," Mark said.

"Derek's youngest sister," Addison added for clarity.

As Callie and Molly looked on with stunned faces, Meredith just sank her head back into her pillow and squeezed her eyes shut. "Karma really hates me," she muttered.

* * *

"Derek, are you okay?" Kathleen asked, reaching out and touching her brother's arm as they sat in the attendings' lounge. "You haven't said a word since we left Dr. Webber's office."

"I just…it's all so real, you know? I mean, she's hurt, and there's nothing I can do about it. They won't even let me help…I could do that surgery, Kath, I know I could. I mean, Larkins worked with Matt, but he was his second choice…he only asked him because I said no. And now he gets to be the one to help her?"

"Derek," Kathleen said cautiously. "You don't always get to be the hero, you know that, right? You can't always be the one to rush in and save her. I know you want to help. You're a do-er, you always have been. You like a clear solution, do this, get that. But Derek, life doesn't always work like that. Sometimes you have to take a step back and let everyone else take care of things for a while."

"I'm really not good at that, Kathleen," Derek laughed wryly.

"Yeah, trust me, I know that. But this time, you're just going to have to get over it and deal. Now come on, chin up, Shepherd. You've got a surgery in half an hour, and I want to watch my baby brother work."

* * *

"Well, now that we've established that this is going to be one incredibly awkward satellite consult…" Callie said.

"He doesn't have to know who I am. Derek doesn't really talk to his family that much these days, so he probably only knows me as the slutty intern. I mean, really, I shouldn't mean anything to him anyway…because Derek and I are through," Meredith insisted.

"Yeah, one of these days someone really ought to tell Shepherd that," Callie said. "Regardless, I need to talk to you about who else gets to scrub in. The chief says, since this is a learning procedure, I have to have at let at least one second year resident and two interns scrub in with me."

"You want to crack my leg open, George?" Meredith asked.

"Well, when you put it that way…" George laughed. "I'd love to help, Mer. That won't be some sort of conflict of interest, will it?"

"I don't think it should be a problem," Callie said. "If we excluded everyone with a connection to Meredith, we'd be flying in a surgical team from out of state. As long as you think you can stay objective in the OR, you're in, George."

"I assume you can't let Lexie in as well, right?" Meredith asked.

"Unfortunately, no. That one still does fall under conflict of interest, I'm afraid," Callie said.

"Wishful thinking, I guess. Well, whatever happens, do not let Izzie's interns scrub in," Meredith cautioned. "I mean, I don't really think it's entirely Izzie's fault, but they aren't exactly at the top of their game."

"That's for sure," Mark said.

"Mark, you can't judge, you think all interns are idiots," Addison laughed.

"Oh, you haven't met Stevens' interns, Addie. Nice people, that's for sure, but just not the sharpest bunch out there," Callie said. "It isn't even Izzie's fault, really. I don't think I've ever met a group quite like them. Yang's got some smart interns, though."

"True, they're smart. They know all the textbook answers, but she hardly ever lets them do anything, so when they do, they're not exactly up to par. Lexie's not bad, but I taught her most of the practical stuff she knows, not Cristina. And since I can't have Lexie, I'm not sure I want one of Cristina's other ones. Mine are, of course, the best interns, right George?" Meredith asked.

"Well…" George started.

"Of course they are. My interns kick ass," Meredith stated bluntly. "But you can't have two of them scrubbing in, someone might think it was favoritism or something. Which leaves us with Alex's interns. Pierce is pretty good, if I remember correctly. George, the overeager one with the reddish hair, is that Pierce?"

"Yup, that's him," George confirmed.

"Good. So, George and Pierce will scrub in. We still need to pick a resident, though," Callie said.

"Alex," Meredith said.

"Alex?!" George and Callie asked in shocked unison.

"Yes, Alex. I can't have Cristina scrub in, she's got as much of a conflict of interest as Lexie does. I don't want things to be awkward in the OR, so Izzie's out, which leaves Alex, because let's face it, those are the only second years worth considering. Other than me, of course, and I can't exactly scrub in on my own surgery."

"Although I'd pay money to see you try that one, Grey," Mark teased as everyone laughed.


	37. Explanations

**A/N:** Lots of writing going on these last few days, as I procrastinate discovering just how much stuff I've accumulated in my little apartment over the last three years. I really hate packing...which is good news for my story, because this is an excellent procrastination method.

I hope you enjoy this chapter - this will mark the first teeny tiny steps on Derek's path to redemption. At least, I hope that's where this path leads!

* * *

"Explain to me again why I'm watching McBastard operate during my lunch break?" Lexie asked as she slipped into a seat next to Izzie in the gallery.

"Because, you're an intern. Maybe you'll learn something," Cristina said. "Besides, Hahn's working in there too. We're watching her, not McBastard."

"I really think we should stop calling him that, guys," Izzie said. "It isn't very professional."

"Seriously? Barbie wants to have a conversation about professionalism?" Cristina asked. "Miss 'I fell in love with my patient' wants to talk professionalism?"

"Seriously? Seriously? Can we not have an argument that doesn't involve Denny? Seriously?" Izzie snapped.

"Guys, not now, please?" Lexie said, trying not to laugh at their interaction. "For one thing, I'm totally out of the loop on that situation. And for another, there are other people here. You might want to hold off on the catfight until you're somewhere a little more private."

"I don't mind," Kathleen piped up from the row in front of them. Turning to face them, she smiled. "Now, McBastard, would that be Dr. Shepherd?"

"Um, yeah, McBastard is Dr. Shepherd," Izzie said, slightly taken aback.

"Can I ask why you call him that?" Kathleen asked.

"You can ask, but we aren't talking," Cristina said, earning sharp looks from Izzie and Lexie. "What? We don't even know her!"

"She has a point," Lexie said, turning back to Kathleen. "Who are you?"

Kathleen laughed. "I'm Kathleen Myers. I'm just in town for a few days from New York."

"McBastard's sister," Cristina said, quickly connecting the pieces in her head.

"Um…yes," Kathleen said. "How did you know?"

"You obviously know him, you look like him, you're both from New York," Cristina said. "It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out."

"But she doesn't seem like another McBitch," Izzie protested.

"McBitch?" Kathleen asked, laughing at their names. "That wouldn't happen to be Nancy, would it?"

"I think that was her name," Izzie said. "No offense, since I guess she's your sister and all."

"None taken," Kathleen smiled. "Nancy can be a bit…well, harsh, sometimes. Especially when she's going through personal issues. I really think that visit was more for her sake than for Derek's, quite honestly."

"Well that's still no excuse," Izzie said. "Marching in here like she knows everything, trying to scare Meredith away. McBitch totally fit her."

"Do you give everyone a name like that?" Kathleen asked.

"Nah, not everyone. But we really do like nicknames, now that I think about it. Cristina started it with the whole McDreamy thing," Izzie said.

"Who's McDreamy?" Kathleen asked.

"McBastard," Lexie said. "We changed it after the whole nurse thing. I'm pretty sure McBastard was George's creation…but don't tell him I said that, he still pretends to hate the nicknames."

"Derek is McDreamy? Oh, my sisters are going to get a big kick out of this one," Kathleen laughed.

"McSteamy's still my favorite McName," Izzie said. "Very fitting. Mer did very well when she came up with one."

"Do I even want to ask?" Kathleen laughed.

"Sloan," Cristina said.

"Mark? Oh good Lord, this gets better and better," Kathleen giggled. "I'm so glad I came in here today. Although, now I think I know why Derek didn't want me to hang out around the hospital today. Good gossip is the one thing I miss about not working in a hospital."

"Are you a doctor?" Izzie asked.

"Psychiatrist," Kathleen replied.

"Oh good, maybe you can figure out why McBastard is such a jackass," Cristina said as she rolled her eyes.

"Don't worry, we're working on that," Kathleen said. "He really doesn't do it deliberately, he's just absolutely clueless sometimes. He's got no concept of how his actions are perceived."

"Right," Lexie said sarcastically. "So calling my sister a whore was just him being clueless?"

* * *

"What time is your flight, George?" Meredith asked as he and Callie prepared to leave.

"Not until three, but Addison says traffic to LAX is a bit of a nightmare from here," George said. "I wish we could stay longer, but hey, you'll be back in Seattle day after tomorrow, so we'll see you soon."

"Well, we'd better get going," Addison said, walking into Meredith's room. "You two ready?"

George and Callie nodded, and headed over to Meredith to say their goodbyes.

"You take care, Grey. I'll have everything ready for the surgery when you get back," Callie said, leaning over to give Meredith a somewhat awkward hug.

"Thanks, Callie. I really appreciate it," Meredith said, lowering her voice just a little. "For what it's worth, I think you and George are doing a good thing with this waiting and dating."

"Waiting and dating?" Callie said, laughing slightly at the rhyme. "I like it. And thank you, Meredith, for giving us that push."

"That's what I'm here for," Meredith smiled as Callie stepped back and let George and Meredith have a moment to say goodbye.

"Be good, George," Meredith said. "I think you might like this dating thing."

"I just might, Mer," George said happily. "You take care, and try not to get into any trouble until you get back to Seattle, okay?"

"But then I can get into all the trouble I want?" Meredith teased.

"Only if you let me and Callie help," George laughed.

* * *

Kathleen was waiting for Derek in the locker room when he walked in after his surgery. He groaned slightly, knowing something bad was coming by the way she way leaning against the wall, arms crossed over her chest, with her foot tapping out a testy rhythm.

"Did you catch the surgery, Kath?" Derek asked lightly.

"I did. I met some interesting people in the gallery, too. In fact, I met Lexie Grey," Kathleen said sharply, causing Derek to wince slightly. "And I need you to clear something up for me, Derek. You see, she told me a very interesting story about a guy who looks like my brother, and has the same name as my brother, but who I'm sure can't be my brother. Because my little brother, he would never call the woman he loves a whore. So tell me, Derek, tell me that I heard that story wrong."

After a moment of silence, watching Derek carefully studying the tiling on the floor, Kathleen snapped him out of his thoughts.

"Well? I'm waiting, because I'm sure there's a wonderful explanation for all of this," she said. She wasn't yelling; no, yelling, Derek could have handled. Kathleen's voice was steady, even and completely cold. It was her "beyond angry" tone, the tone she reserved only for the worst occasions, the one that sent chills down Derek's spine.

"Look, I'm not stupid, Kathleen," Derek began.

"Jury's still out on that one, at least as far as I'm concerned," Kathleen snapped.

"I just mean, I could hear the gossip. I knew what she was doing when I was with Rose…going out, getting drunk, taking home strange guys."

"As I recall, that's how she met you," Kathleen said. "It didn't seem to bother you then."

"I know, I know…I mean, she doesn't always handle things in the most intelligent way, I knew that. But Kathleen, you have no idea how much it killed me to see her doing that. And I was angry, beyond angry, that she was doing that to herself…that I had put her in a position where she would do that to herself."

"So were you angry with Meredith, or were you angry at yourself for pushing Meredith away?" Kathleen asked, raising an eyebrow at Derek's last statement. "Projecting your anger onto her was probably very easy to do. Very inappropriate, but very easy."

"Now you're just showing off, you and your fancy psychoanalysis mumbo-jumbo," Derek said, laughing half-heartedly.

"Well, someone in this partnership has to be smart, and from what I've seen, it sure as hell isn't you these days," Kathleen said.

"No argument. I'm a stupid, stupid man," Derek said sadly.

"Well, stupid man, at least now I know where you need to start," Kathleen said, a slight smirk playing on her lips.

"Start?" Derek asked.

"For your redemption," Kathleen replied. "I know where you need to start in order to redeem yourself in this hospital."

"Where?"

"You need to apologize to Lexie Grey."

* * *

"You've got to be kidding me!" Cristina exclaimed, looking at the list Dr. Bailey had in her hands later that afternoon. "How could Callie not pick me for Meredith's surgery?"

"Don't know, don't care," Dr. Bailey replied. "I'm just the messenger, and the message is, you aren't in."

"Who'd she pick?" Izzie asked eagerly, walking up to the nurses' station to see Cristina and Bailey examining the list Callie had faxed to the chief.

"Not you," Cristina snapped.

"Well, yeah, I figured that," Izzie laughed. "We're trying this whole being friendly thing, but I think it's a little soon for her to be okay with being stuck in the OR for hours with the woman who slept with her husband, right? I mean, talk about awkward. So did she pick you?"

"No! She picked Evil Spawn. Seriously, him?" Cristina ranted. "I'll bet Bambi put her up to this."

"Cristina, really…"

"Shut up, Barbie. I need to go find something to cut," Cristina snapped as she hurried off to the pit in search of a surgical case.

* * *

"Hey, suck ups!" Alex shouted, startling his interns as he walked up behind them that evening, carrying a large pile of papers.

"Dr. Karev!" his interns jumped up, quickly grabbing the charts that they clearly had not been updating. "We were just, um…"

"I don't want to hear it," Alex said, tossing the papers at Pierce. "Read up, Pierce, you're going to need it. You and O'Malley will be scrubbing in with me on the sub-patellar implant Monday morning."

"Are you serious?" Pierce asked. "Wow, Dr. Karev, that's great, thank you so much, I…"

"Save it, Pierce. I don't want to hear it," Alex said, turning to walk away. "Just don't screw up, Dr. Grey needs this leg."

"Dr. Grey? We're operating on Dr. Grey?" Pierce asked.

"Unless you can think of another patient who needs a sub-patellar, yeah, we're operating on Dr. Grey. Get used to it or get yourself another case," Alex said quickly heading back to the residents' locker room.

* * *

"So, are you taking me out again or should I call for room service?" Kathleen asked as she tossed her purse onto the hotel bed and took a seat at the table. Noting the tired way in which Derek was leaning against her wall, she smiled softly. "Sit down, I'll order dinner. Consider it my version of cooking for you."

Derek laughed as he took a seat and watched her search for the room service menu. "Mom would be so proud that all her cooking lessons went to such good use."

"Oh be quiet, you know if I had access to a kitchen, I'd cook for you. But there isn't one here, and don't you even try to convince me that that set-up you've got in the trailer is anywhere close to an actual kitchen. You'll just have to come to New York soon and get some real home cooking."

"I might just take you up on that," Derek smiled. "Can I get the home cooking minus the side of meddlesome sisters, though?"

"You ought to know better than that, baby brother. Sisters come standard with all home cooked meals. Take it or leave it," she laughed, pausing to pull her ringing cell phone from her bag. Looking at the caller ID, she smiled. "And speaking of sisters…"

"If it's Nancy, I'm not here," Derek groaned.

"Relax," Kathleen said, flipping open the phone and transferring the call to the speaker phone. "Hi Abby!"

"My husband is a complete jackass, Kathleen," Abby's voice came over the phone. Derek smiled at his baby sister's tone. Leave it to Abby to skip all the pleasantries and get straight to the point.

"Abigail Shepherd-Javenson, that is no way to talk about your husband," Kathleen scolded. "I hope your kids aren't in the room right now."

"Maureen is at your place with Shannon, and the other two are asleep, thank you very much," Abby said. "Now can we please get back to my husband the jerk?"

"What did poor little Matt do now?" Derek asked.

"Derek! Kathleen, do you have me on speaker?" Abby asked. "You really have to warn me about things like that! Are you alright, Derek? We're all worried about you, you know."

"I'm fine, Abby, really. But I think the point of this call was to talk about your husband, not me," Derek laughed.

"Right. Well, he's been working nonstop for over a year on this impulse regulator thing-a-ma-jig," Abby began.

"And I'm sure Matt appreciates your stellar grasp of the technical terminology," Kathleen teased.

"Oh please, you know I could remember if I wanted to. I did go to med school, same as all of you," Abby protested.

"Ah, but unlike you, we all graduated," Kathleen teased. As the youngest of the five Shepherd children, Abby had, as expected, followed in her siblings' footsteps and gone to medical school immediately after finishing college. Unlike her sisters and brother, however, Abby had never really taken to medicine, and when she'd become pregnant halfway through her second year, she had shocked her family by choosing to leave school and become a full-time mother. Although at the time they had all been convinced that she would eventually return, seven years and three children later it was clear to everyone that Abby hadn't regretted her decision for a single moment.

"Hey, I had a baby!" Abby laughed. "Forgive me for raising my children instead of saving the world. Besides, if I hadn't left school, who would watch your kids while you're out curing the crazies of New York?"

"She has a point, Kathleen," Derek said. "You might have actually had to pay for childcare instead of taking advantage of our sister's generosity."

"Hey, she offered! Besides, we all know Abby would shoot me if I ever tried to pay for childcare when she lives right next door," Kathleen protested. "Now, can we get back to the husband, please? What did Matt do?"

"Right, well Matt's been obsessed with this implant thing, and almost every time the surgery has been done, he's insisted on having it done here or flying to the patient so he can supervise. Now, they're going to do one in Seattle next week, and you know what he tells me? We're not going! He's going on about how he's going to supervise via satellite or something like that. A perfect excuse to come see you, Derek, and he turns it down!"

"Wait a minute…oh God, Meredith's surgery!" Derek exclaimed, making the connection in his head. "Matt's doing the satellite on that?"

"Is it at your hospital, Derek? All he told me was that it was in Seattle," Abby said. "Don't you think it would be better if we came out so Matt could do it himself?"

"Yeah, actually, I do, Abby," Derek said. "Maybe I should talk to Matt about it."

"Would you?" Abby asked, surprised that her brother so readily agreed to the idea. "I think this means you really do miss me, Derek."

"You just keep telling yourself that, Abby," Kathleen laughed. "I hate to break it to you, but this is all about a girl."

"A girl? Who? Not that slutty intern Nancy was talking about?" Abby asked.

"Don't call her that!" Derek practically yelled.

"Woah, there," Abby laughed, slightly shocked by Derek's reaction. "What does this girl have to do with Matt's consult?"

"She's the patient," Kathleen said. "And really, Abby, spread the word, he's head over heals for this girl, no matter what Nancy said. I haven't met her yet, but she sounds perfectly lovely. They've got some stuff to deal with right now, but Abby, I've never seen him like this. He's completely and totally in love. It's pretty cute, actually."

"Aw, is Derek in love?" Abby giggled. "This is so great! Well, now we really have to come out, because I have to meet the girl that stole my brother's heart. Oh, I think I hear Matt coming in, let me see if he'll talk to you, Derek."

After a brief pause, Derek and Kathleen heard muffled voices on the other end of the line, and then finally Matt picked up the phone.

"Derek, man, how are you?" Matt said. "It's been a long time; you sort of disappeared on us for a while there."

"I know, things have been crazy out here," Derek said. "So I hear you're consulting on our sub-patellar next week?"

"Yeah, Callie Torres asked me to walk her through it via satellite. I was a little surprised Webber agreed to the whole thing, but apparently Charlie Larkins is coming out from Chicago, so you'll have a good set of eyes in that OR. Not that there would have been anything wrong with you doing the neuro part, but Charlie does have the experience on this procedure."

"I think you should come out, Matt," Derek said. "I think…well, I have a bit of a personal connection to the patient. I'd really feel better if you were here in person."

"Derek, I'd love to help you out, really I would. But my schedule is packed this coming week, I can't just drop everything for a last minute consult. And to be honest, even if I could, I wouldn't. Torres' is a great surgeon, and the chance to fly solo on this procedure is going to be a big boost for her career. If she were to ask me to come, I might consider it, but I won't just fly in to go over her head and steal her surgery. Do you have any idea how disrespectful that would be?"

"It's just, the patient…Meredith…she deserves the best, Matt. And on this procedure, you're the best," Derek said.

"And I'll be watching every move Torres makes, Derek. Larkins will too, he's assisted me on five of these procedures, so he knows how it's done. Callie's going to do great, Derek, you just have to trust her. Obviously the patient does, since she asked for her specifically, and obviously Dr. Webber does as well."


	38. Welcome Home

**A/N:** And she's finally home, everyone...yup, this is it, Meredith's big arrival back at SGH - I hope you enjoy it!

* * *

"Breathe, Derek," Kathleen laughed, watching Derek awkwardly pacing by the nurses' station the next morning. "Just walk over and apologize. It isn't that difficult."

"Right, you're not the one who got punched the last time you talked to her," Derek said, glancing over at where Lexie and her fellow interns were waiting for their residents.

"Well, I'd avoid insulting her sister this time around, then," Kathleen said. "Now, go apologize or I'm calling Mom and telling her you want her to visit."

"Are you ever going to stop threatening me with that?" Derek asked.

"Only when it stops working," Kathleen shrugged. "Now stop procrastinating and go talk to her!"

Derek took a deep breath, ran his fingers through his hair and walked up to the group.

"Dr. Grey, could I have a word with you before rounds, please?" Derek said, his nervousness evident in his unsteady voice.

Lexie glanced over at George, who shrugged, obviously as confused as she was. She nodded and followed Derek into an empty exam room.

"Make it quick, Dr. Shepherd," Lexie said, crossing her arms over her chest and staring hard at Derek. "Dr. Yang does not appreciate tardiness for rounds."

"Right…listen, I know you hate me, and I really don't blame you for that, because I've been a jerk," Derek said quickly. "I just…well, I wanted to apologize for what I said the other day. It was completely out of line and inappropriate."

"Damn right it was."

"I know I haven't exactly acted like a man who's in love with your sister, but I want you to know that I am. I really and truly am. She's the love of my life, always has been and always will be. I can't offer you a good explanation for my behavior, other than to say that I was angry, more at myself than anyone else. I was angry because I let the most incredible woman I'd ever met slip away from me…no, worse than that, I pushed her away from me," Derek leaned back against the exam table, running his hand through his hair, trying to steady his shaking voice. "I was beating myself up inside, and I was taking it out on all the wrong people. I know I hurt her, more than you probably know, and more than I can ever expect to be forgiven for. I just…I am sorry, even if it doesn't make anything better, I wanted to apologize. I needed you to know that I truly am sorry."

"I'm not talking Meredith into seeing you," Lexie said, shaking her head.

"I'm not asking you to. I'm not even asking you to tell her about this conversation…who you tell is up to you. This isn't about me trying to get back into Meredith's good graces, because I know that's going to take a hell of a lot more than an apology. This is about the fact that I was wrong, and I need to apologize for that."

"Alright then. In that case, I accept your apology, Dr. Shepherd. Let's get one thing straight, though. I still don't like you, you apologizing doesn't change that. And I still think that Meredith could do a hell of a lot better than you. But I do accept your apology."

* * *

"Okay, so I think we're all set," Molly said, pushing Laura's stroller into Meredith's room that afternoon. "Are you sure you don't need anything else before we go?"

"I'll be fine, Molly," Meredith laughed. "You go catch your plane, and I'll see in Seattle tomorrow."

Molly smiled and picked Laura up out of the stroller. Carrying her over to the bed, she stopped and place her next to Meredith's left hand, which had been unbandaged the day before.

"Say goodbye to Aunt Meredith, sweetie," Molly said softly. Meredith smiled as she reached her hand up and ran it along the baby's cheek.

"You be a good little girl for your mommy, okay?" Meredith said. "No screaming like you did for George and Callie, right?"

Molly laughed. "I really should have warned them she'd never been on a airplane before."

"They might have appreciated that," Meredith agreed. "But it was good for them, having something to do together. And now Laura's used to it, so you'll have a breeze flying with her."

"I hate to break up family bonding," Addison said as she walked into the room. "But we've really got to get going if we're going to get you to the airport in time, Molly."

"You'll call me when you land?" Meredith asked anxiously.

"Of course I will," Molly assured her. "Don't worry, we'll see you tomorrow."

* * *

"Seriously? McBastard apologized?" George asked incredulously, as he and Lexie joined the rest of their group in the cafeteria.

"Yup, it was a little weird, actually," Lexie said. "I kind of believe he really meant it."

"Maybe he feels guilty," Izzie offered. "I mean, he's not a totally evil guy, so he has to feel badly about how things ended up, right?"

"Nope," Cristina said. "He's just trying to get back in Mer's pants."

"But he told me he didn't care if I told her," Lexie protested. "I don't, he really seemed sincere. I still don't like him, but I'm thinking of cutting the guy some slack."

"Little Grey, I'm disappointed," Cristina chastised, shaking her spoon in Lexie's direction. "You've gone soft."

"I have not!" Lexie protested.

"Have too," Cristina began to argue, but was quickly interrupted by the beeping of her pager. "And on that note, I'm off to be hardcore while you stay here and be soft with Izzie."

* * *

"Mark Sloan, don't you dare," Meredith cautioned, as Mark quickly pulled his hand away from the remote he'd been reaching for. "If I have to sit through another hour of that stupid soap opera…"

"Hey, it's a good show!" Mark protested.

"What happened on yesterday's episode?" Meredith asked.

"Um…well…the guy, he…well…and that girl, she..." Mark stammered.

"Uh huh. That's what I thought," Meredith laughed. "You don't even pay attention to the show, you're just looking at the ladies' chests."

"In my defense, I built half those chests, so technically, you could just call it patient follow-up," Mark said.

"I'm sure you would," Meredith said. "Now, is this what you do when tell the chief you're doing research?"

"Sometimes," Mark smiled coyly. "Sometimes I grab a nurse and…"

"Stop! I do not want details, Mark. I would like to remain pleasantly detail-free when it comes to what you do with the nurses," Meredith said.

"So if I can't do my patient follow-ups, what do you propose we do while we wait for Addie to get back?" Mark asked.

"I don't know, we could try talking, but I haven't decided if that requires more brain cells than you're used to using," Meredith teased.

"You're a mean, mean woman, Meredith Grey," Mark laughed. "I'm hurt. Truly and deeply, I'm hurt."

"I'm sure you are," Meredith said. "So are you scrubbing in to close me up on Monday?"

"Maybe," Mark said. "It depends."

"On what?"

"Well, if I help you come out with scar free legs, will you model them in a mini skirt for me?" Mark asked, earning a sharp glare and a giggle from Meredith.

* * *

The next morning, it seemed that the entire staff of Seattle Grace Hospital had decided to arrive early. Each had their own excuse, of course, but everyone knew they were all their to await the arrival of Meredith Grey.

"Hey, anyone know which room Meredith's going into?" Izzie asked as she walked into the residents' locker room. "I want to put some flowers in their before she gets back."

"That's nurses' information," Cristina said, somewhat less harshly than normal. "Do I look like a nurse to you?"

"Well excuse me for thinking you might know where they were putting your person when she gets back," Izzie said, rolling her eyes at Cristina.

"You two do realize that you are here for no reason, right?" Alex asked. "At least I was on call last night, so I have an excuse. Meredith hasn't even left L.A. yet, you know."

"I'm here to check on a patient," Izzie protested.

"Right," Cristina scoffed. "Which one?"

"I…uh…well…" Izzie stammered.

"That's what I thought," Cristina smirked.

"Why are you here, Yang?" Alex asked.

"I'm always here early, Evil Spawn. You should know that. The early bird gets the worm or whatever…the early surgeon gets the good surgeries."

* * *

"Okay, the helicopter is ready and waiting for you, Meredith," Addison said, coming up to stand beside Meredith as she was transferred to a stretcher for the trip back to Seattle.

"I guess you'll be glad to get back to a normal schedule now," Meredith said as Addison walked her to the elevators. "You can tell the women of L.A. that they can start having babies again."

Addison laughed. "Believe it or not, I'm going to miss you, Meredith. You'll have to come back to visit me someday."

"I will," Meredith said. "And next time, I'll try not to make such a dramatic entrance."

"I'd appreciate that," Addison said.

"Where's Mark?" Meredith asked, suddenly realizing that she hadn't seen him all morning.

"Up on the helipad, waiting for you," Addison said. "He'll be riding back with you. Apparently world renowned plastic surgeons are too cheap to buy plane tickets back home."

* * *

"Derek, really, are we going to do this every morning? You need to breathe," Kathleen cautioned as they drove to the hospital.

"I know, it's just…she's finally coming back, Kathleen. She's finally coming back, and I can't even see her," Derek said.

"It'll be okay, Derek. Just trust me on this one. Give her the space she needs right now. If she's really the one – and I know you think she is – if she is, it will work out in time," Kathleen said sympathetically.

"I don't think it, Kathleen. I know it," Derek emphasized. "I know that she's the one. I just have to be patient. I will wait, forever if I have to."

"Well, let's hope it isn't that long. I can't stay here and hold you together forever. I do still have four kids and a husband waiting for me at home."

"Yeah, and I can't even imagine what Tom would do if you left him alone too long with them. I mean, he'd be fine with Connor and Shannon for a few more years, but leaving him with Nicole and Amy? I somehow can't see Tom handling a teenager and a preteen very well without you there," Derek teased.

"Shut up, I do not have a teenager," Kathleen laughed.

"Right. Because fourteen isn't a teenager these days? Face it, Kathleen, your baby is growing up. Before you know, she'll be getting married and then…" Derek stopped and laughed as he watched Kathleen's face go pale.

"You are a horrible person, Derek Shepherd, you know that, right?" she scolded him.

"Nah, if I was a horrible person I'd remind you of all the awful things we did as teenagers, let you think about all the terrible things your little baby could be doing…you know, she's only five years younger than you were when you got married," Derek jokingly pointed out.

"I hate you," Kathleen laughed. "We really were terrible teenagers…karma's got me so screwed, doesn't I?"

"Pretty much," Derek agreed.

"At least she doesn't have a partner in crime. I guess that's one good thing about her being four years older than Amy," Kathleen commented.

"What about Karl? They're only a year apart," Derek said, referring to the oldest Shepherd grandchild, Nancy's first son.

"Ah, but he's in Connecticut and we're in the city," Kathleen pointed out. "They really aren't together very often. Thank goodness too, because that boy's trouble. Did Nancy tell you he got a tattoo?"

"He did what?!" Derek asked, absolutely stunned that the little boy he remembered watching grow up would go out and do that. "God, poor Nancy. How'd he get it done without permission? He's only fifteen!"

"He skipped school and went to some back alley place on the Lower East Side. You know, the ones where they don't look too closely at the signature on the forms. Nancy only found out because the friend who went with him caved and squealed to his mom, who called Nancy to tell her to check her son's back."

"Is it awful that I really would have killed to see Nancy's face when she found out?" Derek asked, trying to contain his laughter.

* * *

"Well, there's my favorite dirty mistress!" Mark called out, shouting to be heard over the noise of the helicopter. "Our chariot awaits us, my dear."

After one final goodbye to Addison and a promise to call as soon as they reached Seattle, Mark and the flight nurses carefully loaded Meredith into the helicopter and they took off for Seattle.

After half an hour of smooth flying and idle small talk among the passengers, a quick burst of turbulence shook the helicopter.

"Sorry about that," the pilot shouted from the front. "I'll take us down a little to get away from that. Everyone alright back there?"

"We're good, man…" Mark began, but his voice trailed off as he glanced over at Meredith, who was shaking violently on her stretcher.

"Meredith?" he said, quickly moving up so that he was seated by her head. "Meredith?"

"Mark…I…I can't…oh, God, I can't…get me out…Mark get me out of here," Meredith screamed, frantically squirming on the stretcher.

"Meredith," Mark called out, gently pressing his hands on her shoulders, trying to avoid the most recent grafts while still preventing her from rubbing too hard on her recently repaired back. "Meredith, you need to calm down. It's okay, I'm right here."

"No…no…I can't be here…I…I can't breathe, Mark…get me off, get me off," Meredith continued to scream. Her screams subsided only when Meredith's hyperventilation prevented her from getting any words out.

"Meredith, look at me," Mark said urgently. "Look at me, Meredith. You need to breathe." When this too failed, Mark looked helplessly at the nurse sitting across from him. "Do you have anything to sedate her? She can't keep going like this."

* * *

"You paged, Chief?" Miranda Bailey said, walking up to Richard as he waited anxiously in front of the elevators.

"They just radioed in, they're five minutes out," Richard replied, not needing to elaborate which 'they' he was referring to.

"Well, let's go welcome them home, shall we?" Miranda smiled as the elevator doors opened and she and Richard stepped in.

A few minutes later, they found themselves standing on the roof, holding charts over their heads to shield them from the light Seattle rain that was falling. As soon as they were given the all-clear to approach the helicopter, they grabbed the stretcher and rushed over.

"Why is she out?" Bailey asked Mark as he stepped out of the helicopter right behind Meredith.

"She had a panic attack during the flight. We couldn't calm her down," Mark said. "I didn't give her a heavy dose, so she should be waking up any moment now."

As if on cue, Dr. Bailey looked down and locked eyes with a very confused Meredith Grey.

"Alright people, what are we standing around for?" the chief shouted. "Let's get Dr. Grey inside!"

Smiling broadly, Dr. Bailey leaned over the stretcher as they quickly walked towards the elevator and out of the rain.

"Welcome home, Grey," Bailey whispered. "Welcome home."


	39. Familiar Faces

**A/N:** Thank you so much for all the reviews! Now that Meredith is back at SGH, things will be happening at a somewhat quicker pace. I'll try to keep the updates coming just as quickly, but things are about to go insane here, so I won't make any promises. In the meantime, enjoy chapter 39!

* * *

As the elevator doors opened, Mark laughed at the sight that greeted him. The normally empty space near the elevators was crammed full of people. It seemed everyone from the nurses and attendings to lab techs and interns had come out to see Meredith Grey's return to Seattle Grace.

"Really guys, I know you missed me, but you didn't have to roll out the whole welcome wagon. I'm touched, really," Mark said, stepping out among the crowd.

Behind him, Miranda Bailey scoffed and stepped out of the elevator just ahead of the stretcher. She put her hands on her hips and surveyed the people in front of her, blocking the view inside the elevator.

"What are you people standing around for? Have you cured every disease? Is there no one left for you to save?" she said sternly, not needing to raise her voice to get her point across. "Get your rubber-necking behinds back to work before I let the chief off this elevator to see just what he's paying to do!"

Everyone scattered, leaving behind just the core group of Meredith's friends, as well as Molly Thompson and baby Laura, who was perched delicately on Izzie's hip.

"Where's Shepherd?" Bailey asked.

"Meredith told him to give her space, so he's giving her space," Lexie said.

"Huh. Well, I guess it was about damn time someone gave that brain surgeon a brain," Bailey mused, at last moving out of the way and letting the chief wheel Meredith's stretcher out of the elevator and down the hall to her room.

* * *

"I wish I could go see her," Derek sighed as he changed into his scrubs in the locker room.

"Have we not discussed this already, Derek?" Kathleen asked. "Patience really never has been your strongest asset, has it?"

"Not really, no," Derek agreed. "But I'll do it. I'll wait until she says she's ready. Do you still have the letter?"

Kathleen reached into her pocket and pulled out the envelope. "Right here," she said, holding it up for him to see. "Now stop worrying and go visit a patient."

"What are you planning?" Derek asked suspiciously. Kathleen raised an eyebrow and cocked her head to the side, feigning ignorance. "Don't give me that look, Kath, you've got that little glimmer in your eye, the one you always got when we were planning something. You're going to give the letter to Izzie, right?"

"Of course I am. What else would I do with it?" Kathleen asked innocently.

"I don't know," Derek said. "But I still think you're up to something."

"You are entirely too paranoid, Derek," Kathleen laughed. "Now where can I get a good cappuccino around here?"

* * *

Mark was halfway to the coffee cart in the lobby when the sight of a familiar figure stopped him dead in his tracks.

"Kathy?" Mark called out, spotting the brunette across the lobby. She smiled slightly and walked towards him.

"Mark," she said shortly, hands on her hips, eyeing him up and down.

Mark fiddled nervously with his hands. He knew he should have expected some harshness from the Shepherd family, but after Nancy had seemed so unfazed by everything, he'd gotten hopeful that maybe all the Shepherds had forgiven him, even if they didn't keep in contact the way they used to.

"You, uh, you look good, Kathleen," Mark stumbled through his words.

She nodded. "Of course I do," she said, shrugging her shoulders nonchalantly. After a few moments of awkward silence, she finally spoke again. "Mark, you know I've always loved you like another brother, right?"

"Yeah," Mark said, wondering where this was going.

"So I'm going to treat you just like I would Derek in this situation, alright?"

"Okay," Mark agreed.

Kathleen shook her head, reached her hand out and slapped Mark hard across the cheek. His hand flew to the spot and he stared at her incredulously.

"What the…" he began to speak, but was interrupted by Kathleen.

"That was for having an affair with my brother's wife. Really Mark, I didn't think that even you were that stupid," Kathleen sighed. "But now that that's out of the way, Derek says he's forgiven you, so I forgive you too."

Looping her arm through his, Kathleen led a very confused Mark in the direction of the elevators.

"Come on, you're going to buy me lunch," Kathleen said, not so much asking as ordering Mark to join her.

"Does Derek know you're here?" Mark asked, still reeling from the last few minutes.

"Of course he does," Kathleen said. "He invited me...don't give me that look, he did! He called and asked me to come, so I came. It's what we do, remember?"

"Yeah," Mark said. "Did you have to hit me so hard, Kathleen?"

"I don't do anything half-assed, Mark, you should know that after these years. Besides, I'm sure it hurt less than when Derek punched you out for talking to Meredith."

"You heard about that one?" Mark asked.

"Of course, Derek told me," Kathleen said, as Mark shot her another incredulous look. "What is with all those looks, Sloan? I've spent the last three days listening to every detail of the Derek and Meredith story. Did you really think he was going to leave that one out?"

* * *

"Aren't you all working today?" Meredith asked her friends as they hovered in her room. "Because I know you can't all have the day off."

"We just missed you is all, Mer," Izzie explained. "So now we want to spend time with you."

"Uh huh," Meredith nodded. "Well, I appreciate that, but all this hovering is freaking me out a bit, to be honest."

"Get over it," Cristina huffed. "If I'm doing the whole supportive person thing, you have to deal with it."

"You know, with everyone in here now, I'll bet Hahn's looking for a resident, and if you leave now, you could get to her before anyone else," Meredith offered, smiling as Cristina's eyes lit up just a bit.

"Right, well, page me if she does something stupid," Cristina said to Izzie as she hurried towards the door.

"Like what?" Izzie called after her.

"I don't know, like die…or talk to McBastard," Cristina snapped, closing the door behind her on her way to find Erica Hahn.

"What about the rest of you?" Meredith asked. "Seriously, the hovering is a bit much. Could you just go save lives and come back in smaller groups? Or if you come back in a big group, could you at least speak? Because really, it's the silent hovering that's most freaky."

They all laughed as they quickly made their excuses to leave, and soon only Molly and Laura were left in the room.

"Oh, I almost forgot," George said, poking his head through the door one last time. "Callie said to tell you she's sorry she wasn't here this morning when you got back, she's been in surgery, and also that she'll come by tonight after her shift to talk to you some more about the specifics of the surgery on Monday."

"Thanks George," Meredith smiled. "Hey, how's waiting and dating going?"

"It's only been a day and a half since we left L.A., Meredith," George informed her.

"Well, how many dates have you had so far?" Molly asked, having heard George and Callie's story during their visit to Los Angeles.

"Two…well, two and a half if you count the breakfast that got interrupted by the car crash this morning," George said shyly, quickly ducking back out of the room..

"That's what I thought," Meredith said, satisfied with his answer. "They are so not a getting divorce," she told Molly.

"Definitely not," Molly agreed.

"You know, you really don't have to stay," Meredith told her. "I'm sure you've got much more important things to do."

"Not really," Molly said. "Besides, I like spending time with you, and this way, you can't run away again."

Meredith laughed. "I wouldn't run away," she protested.

"Seriously? You practically bolted any time we came near you when Laura was born," Molly reminded her.

"True," Meredith said. "Well, there'll be no more running away, I can promise you that."

"That's good to hear," Molly said, smiling as Laura grabbed at Meredith's fingers from where Molly was balancing her on the side of the bed. "Because I hate to break it you, but I think Laura is becoming very attached to her Aunt Meredith, so we're going to be here every day until they kick you out."

Meredith giggled as she carefully placed a finger in Laura's hand. "Are you really going to drive all the way here every day? That's got to be an exhausting trip."

"Oh…um…yeah, well…" Molly stuttered. "We're actually…uh…Izzie sort of is letting us stay at your house right now…in your room. Just until you get released, then we'll be out of your way. Please don't be mad…we can leave if it's a problem, if you don't want us there. I just thought, it really is a hard drive, but I really want to be here for you, and then Izzie made the offer, and…"

"Molly, it's fine," Meredith said, laughing softly at her sister's ramblings. "This rambling thing really is genetic, isn't it?"

* * *

Mark and Kathleen sat quietly in the cafeteria, trading small talk and catching up on family gossip, as each tried to size up the other for their own purposes.

"What are you after, Kathleen?" Mark finally asked, growing suspicious of her intentions.

"Well, that was certainly rude, Mark," Kathleen laughed. "What makes you think I want something?"

"You ordered me to buy you lunch, but then you paid for everything. Not to mention the fact that you haven't made one single sarcastic remark about my love life the entire time we've been here," Mark said. "The only time you don't tease me about my life is when you want something, so you might as well just tell me now."

"Fine," Kathleen conceded. "I want to meet Meredith, and I want you to get me in to see her."

"What?" Mark sputtered, choking on his coffee. "Why…why do you want to meet Meredith?"

"Because Derek's in love with her, that's why," Kathleen said, shrugging as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. "I just want to see if she's as in love with him as I think she is."

"You've never even met her and you think she's in love with Derek?" Mark asked.

"Well, her actions would certainly point me in that direction, but that's why I want to meet her, to see it with my own eyes. I just need you to get me into her room."

"No can do, Kathleen," Mark said. "I'd love to help you, really I would, but there are half a dozen people who'd have me decapitated – or worse, castrated – if they caught me helping a Shepherd into Meredith's room. Actually, scratch that, I'm only really afraid of one particularly angry Asian woman. That's more than enough."

"There's nothing I could do to change your mind?" Kathleen asked, but quickly caught the potential mixed signals of her choice of words. "Besides sleeping with you, because I am definitely not doing that. I'm not Nancy, after all."

"Ouch," Mark laughed. "The rest of you Shepherd sisters are just don't know what you're missing. Sorry, Kath, there's nothing you could offer me that would tempt me to risk the wrath of Meredith's friends."

Kathleen was silent for a moment, mulling something over in her head. Finally, she sighed, cocking her head slightly to the side as she looked over at Mark and smiling slightly. "I know exactly what I can do, and you can't say no," she said smugly.

"And what exactly could you do?" Mark asked, not believing for a second that anything Kathleen could offer would tempt him.

"One phone call," she said simply.

"One call to who?" Mark asked in confusion.

"One phone call, Mark, that's all it would take, you know," Kathleen smiled at him. "I make one phone call to Mom, and you're forgiven. The whole thing with Addison goes into the distant past. You get the Shepherds back."

Mark blinked, not sure if he was hearing her correctly. "You'd call Mom and tell her to forgive me?"

Kathleen nodded. "And you know that she'd spread the word to the sisters. You have been missed, even if you've been simultaneously hated as well. Your cell would be ringing off the hook by dinnertime."

"Damn," Mark muttered. "You're good, Myers, too good. I'd forgotten how good you are. I hate that about you."

"Nah, you love everything about me," Kathleen laughed, standing up and heading towards the door. Turning around, she pulled out her cell phone and waved it at Mark. "Come on, you know you miss the Shepherds, Mark. All it takes is one little visit…"

Kathleen smirked as she watched Mark's eyes light up, knowing that she finally had him right where she wanted him. Sure enough, Mark quickly stood up and walked towards her.

As they headed out of the cafeteria, Mark shook his head and muttered, "I cannot believe I'm about to risk my manhood just to get a bunch of nosy women back in my life."


	40. A Few Conditions

**A/N:** Well, I'm finally back!! Thank you all for being so patient with me! There will (hopefully) not be any more significant gaps in posting this story, as things are now settling down a bit after the move. I can't guarantee I'll be able to get back to one a day until I get a bit more settled at the new job, but I hope to get them up at least every other day.

Also, for those who are reading my other Grey's fic, "The Last Thing She Said," I should have an update up for that one soon as well!

* * *

"I can't believe you, Mark," Meredith said angrily. "Molly, throw something at him."

Mark had just entered Meredith's room and asked her if she would be willing to meet Kathleen. He hadn't expected her to be completely open to the idea, but he also hadn't planned on her actually being angry at him about it. He darted out of the way as Molly dutifully picked up a stuffed bear from Laura's bag and hurled it at his head.

"Look Meredith, I know it might seem uncomfortable at first, but Kathleen's really a great person, and she just wants to meet you," Mark argued.

"Something harder, Molly," Meredith instructed. This time, Mark ducked just in time to avoid the empty bottle that flew past his head, but unfortunately moved straight into the path of the silver rattle that Molly threw next.

"Good Lord, Molly," Mark moaned, rubbing his shoulder at the point of impact. "Meredith, if you don't want to meet her, just say so. You don't have to do it. There's no need to get violent."

"You seriously think that's why you're getting things thrown at you?" Meredith asked. "Because I don't want to meet Derek's sister?"

"Um…yes?" Mark said, completely perplexed.

"Isn't that why I'm throwing things?" Molly asked, equally confused.

"No," Meredith said to Molly, ignoring Mark's presence. "Not that I want to meet her, because I don't really. But you're throwing things because Mark sold me out. He traded me in for something he wanted. I'm not sure what, but it probably had to do with sex."

"What are you talking about?" Mark asked.

"You know that even mentioning Derek's family in this room, you run the risk of Cristina's wrath, not to mention Lexie, or even Izzie and Alex. You would never do that if you weren't getting something in return. You traded me for something you wanted," Meredith accused, seeing from the guilt that flashed in Mark's eyes that she was correct.

"What did she do, say she'd sleep with you?" Molly asked harshly.

"I…well…" Mark stammered. "She…she definitely said she wouldn't sleep with me. It's just, she…and I…"

"Just answer the damn question, Mark," Meredith said. "What did you trade me for?"

"I didn't trade _you_ Meredith," Mark protested. "Just the chance to meet you."

"I'm not seeing much difference," Molly said, carefully turning another rattle in her hands. "And you still haven't answered the question."

"She…she's going to call the Shepherds and tell them that I've been forgiven," Mark admitted. "She's going to give me my family back."

"Give you your what?" Meredith asked, having not expected an answer like that.

"Derek's family, they've always been like a second family to me. My parents weren't exactly the involved type, and I was an only child, so when I met Derek and Kathleen in middle school, the Shepherds sort of adopted me."

"When you met Derek _and _Kathleen?" Meredith asked.

Mark laughed softly, remembering his first meeting with the infamous Siamese Shepherds. "Yeah, Derek _and_ Kathleen. They've always been a bit of a package deal, especially when they were in school; if you got one, you got the other. They used to call them the Siamese Shepherds because they were always together. I had just transferred to the school, and no one bothered to warn me about Derek before I tried to hit on Kathy."

"Figures," Meredith commented. "So, Kathleen talking to me helps you with the Shepherds how?"

"When the whole thing with Addison happened, the Shepherds pretty much stopped speaking to me. At first, I think it was out of loyalty to Derek, because things did thaw out a bit when he and Addison got back together. When it came out that we'd had an actual affair, not just a little fling, that's when they all actually got mad at me. Other than today, I haven't spoken to any of them since they found out. Kathleen thinks if she tells them that Derek has forgiven me, they'll let me back in. I miss them, Mer. I'm not trying to sell you out, I just…"

"You want your family back," Meredith filled in.

Mark nodded solemnly, a pleading look in his eyes.

Meredith squeezed her eyes shut, taking a deep breath as she made up her mind. "Okay," she said in a somewhat shaky voice. "I'll meet her."

"You will?" Mark and Molly asked simultaneously.

"I will," Meredith nodded. "But I have a few conditions."

"Go ahead," Mark encouraged.

"To start with, this hospital food is horrible," Meredith said. "So for the rest of my time here, you are buying Molly and I dinner every night from a nice restaurant."

"Every night?" Mark asked.

"Every night," Meredith confirmed. "And don't you dare forget about dessert, either."

"Dinner for two, with dessert, every night. I suppose I could do that," Mark agreed. "So, I'll just go get Kathy, then…"

"You really think that's it, Mark?" Meredith laughed. "I'm just getting started. Pull up a chair, McSteamy, and grab a pen, you might want to write these down."

* * *

Derek sighed as he aggressively scrubbed his hands over and over again. A four car pile-up had flooded Seattle Grace with traumas before he'd had a chance to find Izzie and beg for an update on Meredith. He couldn't help but wonder how she was doing, whether or not she was in pain, and whether she would ever forgive him enough to let him back in. He was so caught up in his own thoughts that he didn't even notice the door to the scrub room opening.

"You are such a damn fool," Dr. Bailey said, shaking her head and grabbing a packet of soap from the ledge next to Derek and quickly beginning to scrub in.

"Excuse me?" Derek asked, confused at being so harshly pulled from his internal thoughts.

"You heard me," Bailey said. "You think if you walk around here with that dopey look on your face long enough, someone will cave and let you in to see her."

"I do not have a dopey look on my face," Derek protested. He knew that by this point, he shouldn't be taken aback by Miranda Bailey's frankness, but he still was.

"Oh please," Bailey scoffed. "I look at you and I find myself waiting for Grumpy and Sneezey to show up. Cut it out, Shepherd, it isn't amusing. She'll see you when she's ready."

"I know that," Derek sighed. "I know it. I just…I just want to know if she's alright."

"Alright? Alright?" Bailey's voice dropped slightly. While most people's voices raise when they're angered, Derek had known Bailey long enough to know that the real trouble came when her voice was low. He cringed at what he was sure was coming. "You think that girl can be alright? Really?"

"Um…" Derek stammered, unsure if he was supposed to respond.

"Because from where I stand," Bailey said, furiously scrubbing at her hands, "it's pretty damn hard to be 'alright' after your plane falls from the sky. It's pretty damn hard to be 'alright' when you're a day and a half away from an experimental procedure that's going to determine if you ever walk on your own two legs again. It's pretty damn hard to be 'alright' when you've got almost as many broken bones as you've got unbroken ones. It's pretty damn hard to be 'alright' when you've…"

"I get it," Derek interrupted, unable to listen to anymore. "I get it."

"I don't think you do," Bailey said, shaking her head again. "If you did, you'd stop hovering."

"I am not hovering," Derek argued. "I haven't been near her once since she got back this morning."

"What do you want? A pat on the back? You've made a little progress, that's good. But that's not the hovering I'm talking about, Shepherd," Bailey scolded.

"Well, then what exactly are you talking about, Dr. Bailey?" Derek asked, growing slightly annoyed with this conversation.

"Stevens. Lexie Grey. Yang. Karev. O'Malley. You don't think I've noticed you favoring them in surgeries? You don't think I've noticed that you can't seem to function these days without keeping one of them nearby? You're trying to fill a hole, Derek, and it isn't going to work. You can't replace Meredith with her friends. You need to stop pestering my residents and interns. You need to back away, and let them come to you when they're ready."

* * *

"Okay, Karev, Stevens and Yang can scrub in on any of my surgeries they want for the next three months," Mark sighed, making a note on a slip of paper.

"Alex is probably the only one who'll really take you up on it," Meredith said. "Izzie might do one or two if they're really interesting, but Cristina only ever thinks about cardio, so it shouldn't be too big of a deal for you."

"Is that it?" Mark asked.

"Almost," Meredith smiled. "Just two more things."

"Go ahead," Mark said, eager to get Meredith's exhaustive list of conditions over with.

"For the next six months, you must let at least one of my interns scrub in on a minimum of three procedures a week. And I want you to actually teach them, not just make them stand in the back. I want them involved. And under no circumstances are they to buy your coffee, pick up your dry cleaning, or perform any other tasks usually relegated to a personal assistant. Got it?"

"Not even a small coffee?" Mark asked playfully.

"Not one drop, Mark," Meredith cautioned before letting out a small sigh. "Look, right now, my interns are being passed from resident to resident every week. Most of those residents have their own interns to look out for, so they obviously aren't going to be picking my interns for any good assignments. I know that other than George, most of them haven't left the pit or the clinic in weeks. I just want you to teach them, Mark, because right now, I can't."

"Three per week?" Mark asked to confirm.

Meredith nodded. "And I want you to rotate them, don't always pick the same one."

"What's the last condition?" Mark asked.

"I won't do this alone," Meredith said calmly. "If I'm meeting Kathleen, I'm not doing it by myself."

"Of course not," Mark assured her. "I'll be…"

"You will not be in this room," Meredith interrupted. "I don't really care where you go, but you will not be in here."

"But I…" Mark began to protest.

"You may have agreed to my conditions, but that doesn't mean that I've forgiven you yet. I will, probably sooner rather than later, but it won't be today," Meredith said.

"Then who…" Mark let his question trail off, realizing he should probably already know the answer.

"Molly," Meredith said simply. "If I'm going to meet Derek's sister, Molly is going to be there with me. I'd ask Lexie or Cristina as well, but I think they might hurt Kathleen."

"They just might," Molly finally spoke up. "But then again, I can be pretty vicious too, especially when family is involved. So don't think I won't kick the sister out on her rear if she goes too far."

"I'll be sure to warn her," Mark said. "Is that everything?"

Meredith and Molly both nodded.

"I'll go get Kathleen, then," Mark said, turning and heading out of the room as quickly as he could.

* * *

Callie Torres sighed as she walked up to the chief's office. Although she'd only been paged there a few minutes earlier, it hadn't taken more than a moment for her to figure out exactly why he wanted to see her. She knew this was not going to be a pleasant visit.

"You can go right on it, Dr. Torres," Patricia said when she saw Callie. "Dr. Webber is expecting you."

Knocking quickly on the door, Callie pushed it open and walked into the office.

"You wanted to see me, Chief?" Callie asked tentatively.

"Have a seat, Dr. Torres," Richard said, motioning to the chairs in front of his desk. "I suspect you already know why I wanted to see you."

"I have an idea, yes," Callie said.

"You ordered a closed gallery for Meredith Grey's sub-patellar implant," Richard said. "I wanted to let you know that I'm going to have to override that order."

"Chief, you can't be serious!" Callie protested. "You think I wouldn't prefer to be doing this with an audience? You think I wouldn't prefer that everyone get to watch this? But honestly, hasn't Meredith been through enough? She's a hot enough gossip topic as it is. She deserves at least this little bit of privacy."

"Dr. Torres, I respect that. But this surgery is a learning opportunity for everyone in this hospital, and to close the gallery would shut much of our staff off from this opportunity," Richard responded.

"Dr. Webber, the OR team is already much larger than it needs to be. I sat by and let you assign countless unnecessary staff to the procedure, but I draw the line here. I would think that you of all people would want to help protect Meredith's privacy."

"What exactly is that supposed to mean, Dr. Torres?" Richard asked.

"Your secret brain surgery last year, sir. Think of all the reasons you wanted that done privately. I can assure you that Meredith feels the same way. Would you really have wanted all those prying eyes watching Shepherd move around inside your brain?"

"My situation was completely different from Dr. Grey's!" Richard argued, angered by Callie's persistence. "The gallery will be open for the procedure, Dr. Torres, and that is final."

"Fine," Callie mumbled, turning and quickly leaving the office without bothering to say goodbye.

As she moved down the halls, she knew she had to find a way to keep the gallery closed. After all, Meredith was already living in a fish bowl, and she deserved whatever little bit of privacy she could get.

As she walked up to the nurses' station, Callie suddenly had an idea. Looking around, she was relieved to spot Debbie just down the hall.

"Debbie!" Callie called out, hurrying to catch up with the head nurse. As Debbie turned to face her, Callie smiled. "Just the woman I wanted to see. I need your help with something."


	41. Conversations

**A/N:** Again, thank you all for your patience with my slower updates! Things will remain hectic for the next week or two, and then should be calming down considerably. I hope you all enjoy the Kathleen/Meredith scenes, which make up most of this chapter. Have fun reading!

* * *

"Okay, this is where I leave you, Kath," Mark said as the two of them approached Meredith's room.

"You aren't coming in?" Kathleen asked.

"No, I…well…I've sort of been temporarily banned," Mark admitted.

"What for?"

"Asking her to talk to you," Mark said. "But don't worry, she can't stay mad at me for too long. I'm much too good looking. Besides, I'm her doctor, so I've got an excuse to go see her and beg forgiveness every day."

"Well, thank you, Mark," Kathleen smiled, standing on her tip-toes to reach up and kiss him lightly on the cheek.

"Yeah, yeah," Mark laughed. "Just get in there and don't say anything stupid, okay?"

"You know me," Kathleen said, heading off towards Meredith's room.

"That's what I'm talking about!" Mark called out after her, smiling to himself as he headed off toward the nurses' station to see if any of them had changed their minds about him while he was away.

* * *

"Hi," Kathleen said softly, stepping cautiously into Meredith's room.

"Kathleen?" Meredith asked, although it was more of a statement than a question. Despite the fact that Meredith had only briefly seen a picture of Derek's sisters, Kathleen was, unlike Nancy, practically a carbon copy of Derek. They had the same eyes, the same hair, the same bright smile, and no one who knew either one would ever doubt the relationship between the two.

Kathleen nodded. "And you must be Meredith," she said, taking in the image of the young woman lying in front of her. She'd seen many pictures of Meredith over the last few days, but it was difficult to reconcile the vibrant, happy young woman in those photographs with the battered woman lying in this hospital bed.

Meredith nodded. "And this is my sister, Molly," she added, as Molly waved slightly from her seat at Meredith's side. "And my niece, Laura," Meredith said, motioning to the baby sleeping in the carrier on the chair next to Molly.

"Hello," Kathleen said, stepping a little further into the room.

"You can sit down if you want," Meredith offered, motioning towards the chair opposite Molly.

"Thanks," Kathleen said, taking a seat and nervously playing with the edge of her shirt. She wasn't quite sure where all her nerves were coming from. Kathleen was not a woman who got nervous often. She was a take charge kind of woman, the one who would march into any situation without hesitation. For some reason, however, she wanted so desperately for this meeting to go well that she was almost overwhelmed by the butterflies in her stomach.

"I don't mean to sound rude," Meredith said. "But what exactly do you want?"

Kathleen smiled. "I know, I must seem way out of line, wanting to meet you like this. It's just, I've never seen my brother so completely in love with someone before. I know things aren't great between the two of you right now, but I just really wanted to meet you for myself. Nancy didn't exactly have a lot to say after her visit."

Meredith let out a dry laugh. "I find that hard to believe. I'm sure Nancy had plenty to say about the slutty intern who corrupted her little brother and stole him away from his perfect wife."

"Nancy's more bark than bite, to be honest. She sure had a lot to say about Addison and Mark, but she didn't really say much about you. And for the record, I think Derek was an idiot to take relationship advice from her," Kathleen said, smiling at Meredith.

"What relationship advice?" Meredith asked.

"She told him that he needed to learn how to be alone. Gave him some speech about how he'd gone from living at home to being with Addison to being with you, back to being with Addison, and he'd never learned to be alone."

Meredith nodded silently. Although she had figured that Derek's sudden desire for space had had something to do with Nancy's whirlwind visit, she'd never had any confirmation of her suspicions before that moment.

"Anyway, I told him it was a stupid move to take advice from a woman working on her fourth divorce," Kathleen continued.

"Fourth?" Molly asked in shock.

Kathleen nodded. "You'd think eventually she'd figure it out, but each one seems to find a new way to implode."

"Such as?" Meredith asked curiously, eager to learn that at least one member of the Shepherd family wasn't as perfect as they all seemed to be.

"Well, there was her third husband, who embezzled millions from his brokerage firm. She divorced him pretty quickly after that came out. The current divorce, I'm still working on figuring that one out."

"And the first two?" Meredith asked.

"Well, Luke, the second one, was a serial cheater. It took six years and two babies before Nancy finally wised up and realized that no matter how many second chances he got, Luke was always going to cheat. The last time, she walked in on him with his secretary."

"Ouch," Molly muttered. "Yet another reason I'm glad my husband doesn't have a desk job."

"I'm sure if it hadn't been the secretary, he'd have found some other woman to fill her shoes. The first one, though, that was the biggest shocker. Nancy was 23 and definitely not ready for marriage, but Steve was older and he talked her into it. They had problems right from the start, and it didn't take long for Nancy to slip up."

"Slip up?" Meredith asked.

"Steve walked in on her in bed with Mark," Kathleen said, quickly covering her mouth when she realized what she'd said. "Oh God, you can't tell anyone that…no one but me, and obviously Mark, knows that that's why he divorced her. Really, she'll kill me if the rest of the family finds out. Please don't tell Derek. Please?"

"We won't," Meredith assured her. "Right Molly?"

"As if I'd actually speak to the man anyway," Molly said. "Don't worry, the Grey sisters are usually the target of the gossip, not the gossipers."

"Who's gossiping about you?" Meredith asked. "I mean, I know I'm an interesting subject, but, no offense, your life seems pretty drama free."

"You didn't know me in high school," Molly laughed. "Lexie was the studious older sister, while I was rebellious child. I even had green hair for a while."

"Mine was pink," Meredith offered, causing Molly to giggle just a bit. "Kathleen, have you ever dyed your hair? I'm guessing not, right?"

"I have four kids," Kathleen laughed. "The only reason you don't see gray is because of dye. Although if you're only asking about unnatural colors, then I'm afraid I haven't. Not that I didn't do a lot of crazy things in my teenage years…hell, I still do a lot of crazy things. But really, the look on my mother's face would have been too much for me if I had ever dyed the famous Shepherd hair."

"I could see that," Meredith agreed. "I'm not sure I can even picture you touching that hair."

"You really don't seem like the rebellious type, though," Molly added. "What could you possibly have done that was so crazy?"

"Oh, there were a lot of things," Kathleen assured them. "Let's just say Derek and I were very familiar with the cops at our local jail. And the icing on the cake was the Vegas wedding at nineteen. My mother nearly had a coronary."

* * *

"Okay, I don't mean to interrupt, but I know you didn't come here just to have a random conversation my sister and I," Meredith said. She, Molly and Kathleen had been talking easily for nearly an hour before Meredith realized that she still wasn't quite sure what exactly Kathleen had hoped to get out of this meeting.

"No, I suppose I didn't," Kathleen admitted. "I guess I'm just trying to understand what's going on between you and Derek, because I know my brother loves you, and I'm pretty sure you love him too. Yeah, he's been a real jackass, I won't deny that. Most women wouldn't forgive all the crap he's put you through, but you did. I'm just trying to understand why everything is so different this time, because something tells me it's about more than just him showing the house to that nurse."

Meredith looked at Kathleen, amazed at her ability to see straight through to the heart of the issue. "It's about trust," she said simply.

"You don't trust him?" Kathleen asked.

"It's not as though he's given her very much reason to," Molly piped up.

Kathleen nodded. "I know. It's just, he's my little brother, and to me he's always been one of the most trustworthy men I've ever known, so it's hard to put the two Dereks together in my mind."

"It isn't that I don't trust him," Meredith told them. "I do trust him, as a doctor, as a friend, as a basic human being, I do trust him. It's just…I have a hard time trusting him as a partner, as a lover. I don't trust his love for me."

"He does love you," Kathleen tried to assure her.

Meredith sighed. "It's just…this has always been our problem, on some level. I can't trust that he loves me because I don't know who exactly he thinks he loves. I don't really know myself, so how can I trust that the me he says he loves is who I actually am?"

"I'm afraid I'm not following," Kathleen said.

"All my life, I've let myself be defined by other people. I've been Ellis Grey's daughter, I've been the little girl with the father who abandoned her, I've been the intern who slept with her boss, I've been the dirty mistress, I've even been the jilted woman…but I've never been just Meredith. I've never been known for who I am, just who I'm associated with. I'm tired of everything about me being because of someone else. I want to figure out what I like, what I want, what I need. How can I possibly trust that he loves me if I don't figure out exactly what it is he's supposed to love?"

"That actually makes a lot of sense," Kathleen said.

"It's just, I can't define myself like this way anymore. I mean, I've always worn my hair long because my mother told me short was the only sensible style for a professional woman. I bought new sheets a few months ago, and I couldn't even look at any color other than red, because Derek always said he liked red sheets. I've been all over Europe, but I've never been to Paris, because right before I went backpacking after my college graduation, my mother told me that I was wasting my time and Paris was the only place in Europe that a civilized young woman should consider visiting. I had pink hair in high school because it was the only color my mother truly hated. I started eating Muesli for breakfast because that's what Derek eats," Meredith paused for a moment. "And now I'm rambling again. Sorry."

"That's a family trait," Molly informed Kathleen. "My husband usually kisses me to make me shut up."

"That's what Derek used to do," Meredith said softly, more to herself than anyone else.

"I know you don't want to see him," Kathleen said, taking advantage of the lull in the conversation to bring out Derek's letter. "And he's going to respect that, he really is. But he wrote you this letter," she handed the thin envelope to Meredith. "I don't expect you to take him back after one letter, but I just hope you'll be willing to at least read what he has to say."

"I will," Meredith said, playing nervously with the edge of the envelope.

"Thank you," Kathleen said. She opened her mouth to continue, but was interrupted by a knock at the door.

"Hi Meredith," Callie said, stepping into the room. Noticing Kathleen, she smiled at her, unsure who she was, but instantly noticing her physical similarities to Derek. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

"No, of course not," Meredith said, quickly handing the letter to Molly, who tucked it into her bag. "Callie, this is Kathleen Myers. Kathleen, this is Callie Torres. She'll be performing my surgery on Monday."

"It's nice to meet you," Kathleen said as she shook Callie's hand. "I should probably get going now. It was really nice to talk to you, Meredith."

"You too, Kathleen," Meredith said, pleasantly surprised with how sincere that statement felt.

* * *

Soon after Kathleen left, Molly took Laura out to get some fresh air, leaving Callie and Meredith alone to talk.

"So, who exactly is Kathleen?" Callie asked, fairly certain she already knew the answer. She'd been back long enough to hear rumors of Derek's sister's presence circulating among the staff.

"Derek's sister," Meredith confirmed for her.

"You actually let Derek's sister into this room?" Callie asked, somewhat confused at Meredith's actions.

"It's a long story," Meredith sighed. "But, it really wasn't all that bad. She's sort of nice, and even she admitted that Derek's been acting like a jackass, so she can't be all bad, right?"

"I suppose so," Callie agreed. "She wasn't like the other sister?"

"No," Meredith said, relief evident in her voice. "Definitely not McBitchy."

Callie laughed. "Good to hear. I might have had to break her leg for you otherwise."

"I'm so glad I have such kind and gentle friends," Meredith teased.

"Hey, in my line of work, kind and gentle just doesn't cut it, you know," Callie responded. "Which reminds me, I wanted to talk to you a bit about your surgery. I know you're familiar with the basics of what we'll be doing in the OR, but I wanted to go over some last minute things about what to expect afterwards, just in case I don't make it by tomorrow. I've got a bunch of cases piling up from the car crash this morning."

Meredith nodded. "What do I need to know?"

"Well, first of all, if anyone outside your circle of friends asks, the surgery is Monday afternoon."

"But I thought it was Monday morning?" Meredith asked.

"It is," Callie confirmed. "Just go with me on this one, okay?"

"Okay," Meredith said, trusting that Callie had her reasons for being so secretive.

"Now, the most important thing I want you to keep in mind for after the procedure is that this is what I call an immediate response procedure. What that means is that if we're successful, you'll notice a return of sensation very soon after we're finished, usually within twenty four to forty eight hours. If there hasn't been any return within that time frame, there most likely won't be any at all."

"So it will all be back within forty-eight hours?" Meredith asked, amazed at the rapid results she was hoping would be in her future.

"Not necessarily all of it," Callie corrected. "But if you are going to get any sensation back, you'll start feeling it during that time period. You may continue to get more back over the next seven to ten days. Measuring that sensation is what's going to be tricky in your case."

"How so?"

"Well, usually we'd ask the patient to move their toes to start with, and we'd move on to greater and greater movement. In your case, we're much closer to the actual accident than they were after any of the other patients, which means your leg fractures haven't healed enough to handle that kind of movement. In fact, I don't want you to try to move the leg at all after the procedure, because we will be putting you back into another cast."

"Damn," Meredith muttered. "I was hoping that could go away."

"I'm afraid not," Callie said apologetically. "What we'll be looking for in your case is a sensation of pain in the leg."

"Well, I can't wait to feel it," Meredith smiled confidently.


	42. I'll Wait For You

**A/N:** As a heads up, I have to go on a training retreat for work this weekend, so I probably won't have computer access on Saturday and Sunday. I'll try to get up another chapter before I leave on Friday, but if I don't, I'll definitely have one for you when I get back on Monday!

* * *

"So, Kathleen," Derek said as they climbed into his car after breakfast the next morning. "Are you ever going to tell me where you disappeared to yesterday afternoon? I looked everywhere for you after my surgery, and couldn't find you."

"Well, obviously you didn't look everywhere, because I didn't leave the hospital," Kathleen said, smiling mischievously.

"Ah, but that look in your eyes tells me that you were doing something you probably shouldn't have. You might as well tell me now, because you know I'm going to find out sooner or later," Derek argued. "You know you can't keep a secret from me."

"Yes I can," Kathleen countered.

"In that case, I suppose you can explain why Mom called me this morning, wanting to know if I had really forgiven Mark for his affair with Addison?"

"Oh…um…Mom called you about that, did she?" Kathleen asked, trying to play it cool.

"She did," Derek confirmed.

"And what did you tell her?"

"I told her that I had," Derek said. "I told her that we certainly aren't back to where we were before, but that I was at least working on things with him."

"Well that's good," Kathleen said.

"I'd still like to know what prompted that phone call," Derek said. "And I know that that's not the only thing you're hiding from me, Kathleen Michelle."

Kathleen glared at him. "You had to bring out the middle name, didn't you? Fine, if you must know, I paid a little visit to Meredith yesterday."

"You did what??" Derek shouted, steering the car onto the shoulder, slamming on his brakes and turning to stare at his sister. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"I wanted to meet her," Kathleen shrugged. "I think she's quite nice, Derek. You picked well this time. She seems more your type than Addison. More laid back. Her sister was nice too. And that niece of hers, Laura, my goodness, what a gorgeous baby. Kind of makes me want another."

"I repeat, what the hell were you thinking? Did you just barge in there, force a visit on her? She doesn't want to see me, what possessed you to think that she would want to see my sister?"

"Do I look stupid, Derek? I'm a psychiatrist, I think I know enough not to just force my way into a patient's room, especially one who has just been through a traumatic accident. I had permission first," Kathleen defended herself.

"And just how did you get permission?" Derek asked, not believing that even Izzie would dare to ask Meredith to meet his sister.

"Mark talked to her," Kathleen said simply.

* * *

"So, you met McBastard's sister," Cristina said, taking a seat next to Meredith and pulling a set of charts out of her bag.

"Yes," Meredith confirmed. "I met Derek's sister."

"She's not McBitch," Cristina said, not looking up from the chart she was reading.

"No, she's definitely not," Meredith agreed. "I kind of liked her. Besides, it was definitely worth it to get the dinners McSteamy's bringing me."

"Is that what he was doing with all that food last night?" Cristina asked.

"Yup. Molly and I get dinner every night for the rest of my time here."

"You and Molly? You couldn't ask to include your person in this deal?" Cristina pretended to be offended by Meredith's actions.

"I wouldn't want food to go to waste because you're in some big surgery, and Molly's the only one who I know will be here every night," Meredith reasoned. "If it makes you feel any better, Mark has no concept of how much food dinner for two actually entails, so there are plenty of leftovers. Molly's bringing them in today. I'm sure you could snag some for lunch if you stop by at noon."

"I'll keep that in mind," Cristina said, finally looking up from the charts she'd been studying. "Should I try to get in on the coronary artery bypass or the aortic valve replacement?"

"Valve replacement," Meredith suggested. "Izzie wants in on the bypass, so if you let her, then you don't look as greedy, and have a better chance of shining in today's surgery, thus giving you a greater chance of being asked to assist on the Ross procedure Hahn's doing on Tuesday."

"Hahn's doing a Ross procedure? Damn it, Meredith, you're lying in a hospital bed and you still know about all the good surgeries before I do! What are you, psychic or something?"

Meredith laughed. "Now Cristina, I have to have some secrets, don't I? What fun would it be if I told you all my ways?"

* * *

Mark Sloan was leaning against the nurses' station, trying to get one of the nurses to at least look at him. If he were to tell the truth, however, his heart wasn't really in it that morning, even if he had been able to garner some interest. He'd spent most of the night staring at his cell phone, willing it to ring. He knew Kathleen was a woman of her word. If she said she'd call her mother, she would. He just hoped she wasn't mistaken about them accepting him back into the family.

At just that moment, he felt the phone vibrate in his pocket. Pulling it out and glancing at the caller ID, he could barely contain his excitement at the name he saw. Taking a deep breath, he flipped open the phone and pressed it to his ear.

"Dr. Mark Sloan speaking," he said as calmly as possible.

"That is the lamest greeting I've ever heard, you big loser," the female voice rang out over the line. "Did you come up with that on your own, or did someone have to think it up for you?"

"Nah, that came straight out of the genius that is Mark Sloan's brain," Mark teased, feeling instantly at ease. "But I have missed your kindness, Bethie."

"You getting all sappy on me, Sloan?" Beth McNamara asked jokingly. "Because if you are, I will hang up this phone and immediately unforgive you."

Mark laughed heartily. Only two years younger than Derek and Mark, Beth had always been the Shepherd sister Mark was the closest to. Even though he had spent more time with Kathleen growing up, mostly because of her close relationship with Derek, Beth had somehow become his anchor and his confidante back east. It didn't surprise him, therefore, that she had been the one elected to make the first contact.

"Never, baby girl, never," Mark replied. "But you have to admit, you have missed me."

"It's actually been quite peaceful around here, what with you not rolling in and causing a big ruckus in my house every weekend," Beth countered.

"Hey, you know those kids are horribly lonely without their favorite uncle coming around to spoil them."

"You're right, they do miss Derek a lot," Beth laughed.

"Hey! I'm their favorite uncle and don't you let them forget it," Mark pouted. "How is the tribe anyway?"

"Can you keep a secret?" Beth asked mischievously.

"Do you even need to ask? How many secrets have I kept for you over the years? I think I should be insulted that you feel the need to ask that."

"Oh please, you never know," Beth laughed. "Seattle could have changed you."

"Nothing changes the great Mark Sloan, my dear, nothing. Now what is this secret?"

"The tribe's about to get a bit bigger," Beth said, giggling at Mark's audible gasp on the other end of the line. "Don't tell anyone yet, I'm just barely six weeks, so Sean's the only one who knows right now. We want to wait a few more weeks before we tell everyone."

"My God, Bethie, are you trying to breed your own army?" Mark teased. "How many kids does this make, nineteen? Twenty?"

"Six, Sloan," Beth corrected. "This one will make six."

"Well, this had better be the one that gets named after me," Mark stated.

"Not a chance. I've got a feeling this one's a girl, and my feelings haven't been wrong yet. Although," Beth paused for a moment. "Last week, I was sure it was a boy, and the only time by feelings ever wavered in the past was when I was pregnant with the twins."

"Hey, the more the merrier, that's the motto in your household, isn't it?" Mark teased. "And your husband sure must be merry."

"You little pervert," Beth pretended to be shocked. "I tell you wonderful, fabulous news and you turn it into something dirty. You really haven't changed, Sloan."

"You wouldn't love me if I did," Mark protested.

"I'm not sure I love you as you are, to be honest," Beth said, her insult lost in the laughter that accompanied it. "But the kids do miss you, so you'd better be dragging your butt back here soon, mister."

"I will, I promise," Mark assured her. "As soon as Mom gives me the go ahead, I'll be at the dinner table first chance I get."

* * *

"So, I've still got this letter in my bag," Molly commented later that afternoon, as she and Meredith finished off the leftovers of the previous night's dinner.

"I know," Meredith sighed. "I know I should read it, at least see what he has to say. But…I just don't know if I can do it. I don't know if I can handle reading his words."

"Do you want me to read it to you?" Molly asked. "I mean, I know you could read it yourself…but this way, you could stop me if you didn't want to hear anymore, and I can interject all sorts of comments to distract you. You know, point out when what he just wrote is bull, or tell you that it's so romantic that you ought to climb out bed and go ravish him in a supply closet. Things like that."

Meredith laughed slightly. "That sounds like a good idea. Except for the last part. If you tell me something like that, I can guarantee you the only thing I'm getting out of this bed to do is strangle you. And Laura needs a mother, so I suggest you don't say that."

"Got it, no comments about ravishing hot doctors," Molly said as she dug through her bag. "I know I stuck it in here somewhere…aha! Here it is," she cried triumphantly, pulling the thin envelope from the bag. Carefully breaking the seal, she pulled out the piece of paper waiting inside. "Are you ready?"

"No," Meredith said, her voice breaking ever so slightly. "But you'd better do it, because I don't think I'm ever going to be ready."

Molly nodded, and began slowly reading out the contents of the letter.

_Dear Meredith,_

_I know you probably didn't want to open this letter, but I am grateful that you did, because I need the chance to explain things to you, to let you know one more time how I feel. I hope that you will at least read through what I have to say, even if I am probably the last person in the world you want to hear from right now._

"Well, now that's not true," Molly said as she lowered the letter slightly and looked over at Meredith.

"And who would I be less thrilled to hear from?" Meredith asked.

"Dad."

"Good point," Meredith agreed. "Someone should tell Derek he still ranks one above Thatcher in my life. He'll be so pleased."

Molly giggled and continued reading.

_I want you to know that this isn't going to be what you think it is. This isn't the start of some long, drawn out battle for me to get to see you. I have every intention of respecting your request for space after this letter. I won't hover, I won't harass you, I won't try to see you in any way until you tell me that you are ready. I can't say that I'm happy about it, or that it doesn't hurt me, because to say that while loving you the way I do would be impossible. So, as much as it hurts me to do so, I will keep my distance and give you whatever space you need to heal._

_Nothing hurts me more than knowing that I made you lose faith in my love for you. Ever since I met you, that has been the one constant in my life – the fact that I am, and always will be, madly in love with you. I can try to push it down, I can try to cover it up, but that love always makes its way back out. There are so many things about the past year and a half that I regret. The only thing that I know I can never, and will never, regret is loving you._

_I realized the other day that I never truly apologized to you for everything that I have put you through. I am so sorry that I never told you I was still married to Addison when we began our relationship. I am truly sorry that you had to find out about it from her, and not from me, when I should have been the one to tell you. I am sorry that I put my sense of obligation to Addison above the love that I felt for you from the moment I first saw you. If I had just stopped and listened to my heart, I could have avoided making the mistake of thinking that our love was another feeling that would pass in time. I am so sorry that I doubted what we had enough to not fight for us._

_I am sorry that I debased our love when I turned it into adultery. Something that should have been so pure and perfect was tainted by that stain, and I will forever regret having done that to you. I am also sorry that it has taken me this long to realize just how much I hurt you with my actions. I should have said these things long ago. You have no idea how much I wish I could turn back time and make things right with you._

_I could go on for pages and pages with apologies. It seems that as I look back at our relationship thus far, at every turn I make a mistake, at every turn I have something to apologize for. I know you've always said you're the one who isn't any good at relationships, but in looking at ours, I think I'd have to say that I'm the one who didn't know what he was doing. I have messed up in so many ways, and I can only pray that one day, you'll be able to forgive me._

Molly paused and looked up from the letter, taking Meredith's hand in hers as she noticed the silent tears running down her face.

"Do you want me to stop, Meredith?" she asked gently.

"No," Meredith whispered. "I need to hear the rest. Keep reading, I'll be alright."

Molly nodded, not letting go of Meredith's hand as she continued with the rest of the letter.

_I know you thought that I was moving on without you. On some level, I thought that I could at least try to move on. But time and again, I come back to you. For me, Meredith, there is no future without you. I want marriage, and a house, and kids, but I don't want to share that future with anyone but you. With anyone else it would just feel wrong. If a future with you doesn't involve those things, that's fine with me, as long as it involves you. Because as much as I do want those things, the only thing I really need in my future to make me happy is you._

_I know you thought that I was moving on with Rose. On the outside, that's what I told everyone…that I was moving on. But my heart, Meredith, my heart was always with you. You told me that you saw me showing Rose the house plans. I won't deny that I did that, but Meredith, it wasn't what you think. Do you remember what I talked about when I showed it to you? The kids' rooms, the view we'd wake up to every morning, the porch to curl up on and watch the sun set together? I never talked about that with Rose. We never talked about the future, because I just couldn't picture one without you in it. Even trying to think about any other future, it just felt so wrong to me._

_I decided that I want to build this house, even if we aren't doing it together like I had hoped. When Rose found out I was building a house, she asked to see the plans. I showed them to her, but it wasn't how it looked. I wasn't sticking someone else in your place. I didn't talk to her about kids' rooms, I talked about guest rooms. When I talked about the porch, I talked about barbeques with my friends, I didn't talk about watching the sunsets. I didn't talk to her about 'our' house, I talked to her about 'my' house, because I can't see myself ever sharing it with someone who isn't you._

_You may not expect me to wait for you, but I will. I will wait weeks, months, years if I have to. I would forever for us, Meredith, because the truth is, I am head over heels in love with you. You are it for me, no one could ever take the place that you occupy in my heart. You are the one great love of my life, the only person I want to spend my future with. However long I have to wait, I will, because you are my one and only, Meredith._

_I want you to take whatever time you need, and whatever space you need. I haven't given you much reason to trust me in the past, but I promise you, I will wait for you. I will never give up waiting for you. So while you are healing, I want you to know that I'll be waiting. If and when you're ready, I'll be here, ready and waiting for you, because I love you, Meredith Grey, I really do._

_Love always,_

_Derek_

"Wow," Molly whispered, folding the letter and placing it on the bedside table.

Meredith leaned her head back into her pillow and bit her lip to stem the flow of tears. "Yeah," she whispered back. "Wow."


	43. Reminders and Repairs

**A/N:** I am so sorry for taking so long to get this chapter up! You know what happens when two of the six people who work in an office get sick, and then a third goes on an early maternity leave? And you're left with the new girl and two part-time job sharers? Yeah, all hell breaks loose, that's what happens. So, I apologize that this chapter is late, and I'm sorry that it is shorter than usual - I really haven't had more than two spare seconds at a time to write this week!

As a warning, we are nearing the end of what I had planned for this story. There will probably be two or three more regular chapters, plus what is looking to end up as a two (maybe even three) part epilogue, which will help transition the story into the sequel I am planning to write.

* * *

"Do you want to talk about it?" Molly asked, gently squeezing Meredith's hand in support. As much as Meredith was trying to hide it, Derek's letter had obviously had an affect on her, and she was having a very difficult time holding back her tears.

"Do you…do you think he meant it?" Meredith whispered, her voice shaking with emotion. "Everything he said…do you think it was real?"

"I don't know," Molly said. "The letter certainly sounds sincere, but it's a letter, so it's hard to tell. These are usually the type of things you need to hear in person to know."

"I can't," Meredith said quietly. "I can't see him yet."

"I know," Molly said soothingly. "I know. I guess the real question is, do you believe he meant it?"

"I want to," Meredith said, leaning back heavily onto her pillow. "I really want to believe him. I want to be able to believe in him. It used to be so easy, so natural, but I just don't know how to do it anymore. I don't know how to trust his words."

"Then don't," Molly said, earning a confused look from Meredith. "If you can't trust his words, don't try to right now. What is that old saying, actions speak louder than words? Let his actions speak for him. From what you've told me, he hasn't exactly been stellar on following through with his promises in the past. So give it some time, see if he actually does what he says he will. See if he waits, see if he stays away."

"You mean like test him?" Meredith asked.

"If you want to think of it that way, sure," Molly shrugged. "I just think, anyone can write a beautiful letter, right? If he really loves you like he says he does, you'll know it for sure when he shows it by following through on his promises to you."

* * *

"Mark!" Derek shouted, rushing down the hall to catch up with his friend.

"Hey Derek," Mark said, somewhat nervous at the look on Derek's face. "Long time, no see."

"What the hell were thinking, Mark?" Derek asked angrily. "What on earth would possess you to think that asking Meredith to see Kathleen would be a good idea?"

"Um…Kathleen can be very convincing, in case you've forgotten," Mark said simply.

"Of course she can, but come on, Mark, grow a backbone for once in your life!" Derek shouted, pausing at the look on Mark's face. "Are you smiling, Mark? Do you think this is funny?"

"What? No, no, definitely not," Mark backpedalled quickly. "It's just…well, man, you just sounded an awful lot like Mom right there."

"You did not just say that," Derek scoffed. "I am going to pretend for your sake that you did not just say that."

"Whatever you say, Mommy," Mark teased. "If you'll excuse me, this dinner is getting rather cold." Mark held up a large plastic bag filled with take-out containers.

"That's an awful lot of food, Mark. Big appetite?"

"It's not for me," Mark smirked. "It's for the girls."

"Trying to impress the nurses again?" Derek laughed. "I think you'll need more than a nice meal to do that."

"Not for the nurses," Mark countered. "For Meredith and Molly."

"Why exactly are you buying Meredith dinner?" Derek questioned suspiciously.

"Um…well…let's just say I'm returning a favor, shall we?" Mark smiled and quickly walked away before Derek could respond.

* * *

"Are you sure about this?" George whispered to Callie as they hovered near the elevators that evening. "It feels sort of wrong."

"Do you want half the hospital watching Meredith's surgery?" Callie whispered back.

"No," George conceded. "But lying to the chief…can't we get in trouble for that?"

"We're not lying, George," Callie argued. "We're…I don't know, stretching the truth a little. After all, we did move the time of the surgery."

"Yeah, but in the other direction," George reminded her.

"Hey, you can back out if you want, but I'll make sure Debbie knows you did," Callie cautioned, instantly quieting George. "We all know how Debbie loves to torture interns."

A few minutes of awkward silence followed before Callie lightly smacked George in the arm. "There he is," she hissed. "Let's go."

The two of them silently walked up to the elevators and stepped inside the open doors just behind the chief.

"So, George," Callie said casually, pressing the button to take them to the lobby. "Are you ready to scrub in tomorrow?"

"Um…yes, I think so," George muttered nervously. "It should be an exciting procedure."

"It will be," Callie agreed. "Did you get a chance to pass on the schedule changes to Dr. Karev and his intern?"

"Yes, I did," George replied. "Why did we change again?"

"Dr. Javenson had a family matter to take care of at our original time," Callie said. "The afternoon worked much better for him." Callie didn't even flinch as she said this, because truth be told, Matt had told her that the afternoon would work best, but they had eventually compromised and settled on an earlier morning time.

Richard watched in confusion as George and Callie walked out of the elevator and into the lobby. No one had mentioned anything to him about changing the time of Meredith's surgery, but then, things seemed to slip by him these days. Sighing, he reached out and hit the button to return the elevator to the surgical floor. Debbie would be able to tell him what was going on.

* * *

The next morning, a small group of doctors walked silently into Seattle Grace Hospital much earlier than most would have expected them to. George and Pierce quickly went up to the surgical floor to begin prepping Meredith for surgery, Alex went to go check the technical set-up for the satellite consult, and Callie made one final stop at the nurses' station to confirm with Debbie that everything was running according to schedule.

Standing outside the hospital a few minutes later, she smiled as a somewhat confused Charles Larkins walked up to the doors. "Dr. Larkins, thank you so much for coming," she called out as he approached.

"Dr. Torres, I presume?" he smiled as he shook her hand. "I must admit, I almost didn't make it in time. I was under the impression that we were doing this later in the morning."

"Slight change in plans," Callie said, not missing a beat. "Some sort of scheduling conflict on Dr. Javenson's side. I believe he mentioned something about a family obligation."

"His wife does like to keep him busy," Dr. Larkins laughed. "Is the patient being prepped?"

Callie nodded. "The interns should be finishing up as we speak."

"Well then, let's not waste any time. If you'll point me in the direction of the locker room, I'll get changed and we can get this show this show on the road."

"Good morning, everyone," Callie said, stepping into the OR and greeting the waiting surgical team. "Thank you all for coming out so early this morning."

Glancing up at the gallery, she smiled as she saw only Cristina Yang, Izzie Stevens and Lexie Grey looking down at her. _Thank God it worked_, she thought to herself as she watched the tech team turn on the satellite equipment.

"Dr. Torres?" Matt Javenson said questioningly as his face flickered onto the television screen next to the operating table.

"Good morning, Dr. Javenson," Callie said. "How's that camera angle looking for you? Do you need it adjusted at all?"

"Everything looks good on my end," Matt assured her. "I'll let you know as we progress if I need any adjustments. Is everyone there and ready to begin?"

"We're still waiting for our plastic surgeon," Callie said, a hint of annoyance in her voice. "But he only needs to be here to close, so we can start without him."

At just that moment, the doors to the OR flew open and Mark Sloan rushed into the room. "Sorry I'm late, I got accosted by the chief on the way over here. Does that man ever leave the hospital?" Mark laughed at the horror stricken look on half the team's faces. "Would you people relax, I didn't give away your little secret." Looking over at the television screen, Mark waved at the camera. "Hiya Mattie, how's life in the city?"

Matt laughed, noting that Mark seemed to have not changed a bit despite the change of scenery. "Much quieter now that you've abandoned ship," Matt teased. "And much safer for the ladies."

"Very funny," Mark pretended to be insulted.

"If you boys are done," Callie interrupted. "I came here to perform a surgery, not have a transcontinental happy hour."

* * *

Derek was standing by the nurses' station, absentmindedly staring at the OR board. Meredith's surgery was still up, which meant Callie hadn't finished yet. He couldn't help but feel a bit nervous. He figured by now she'd have read his letter. He wasn't sure what sort of response he had been expecting, but he had certainly been expecting something, even if it was just an acknowledgement that she had read it.

He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn't even notice Molly walking towards him, pushing Laura's stroller in front of her. She paused when she saw Derek, taking a moment to consider her words before walking up and standing in front of him.

"You write one hell of a letter," Molly said, leaning against the counter next to Derek, who looked over at her in surprise.

"Excuse me?" he asked, still trying to figure out why the young woman looked so familiar.

"I want to one thing perfectly clear, though," Molly continued, turning and staring straight into Derek's eyes. "If you're just screwing with my sister's head again, you better back off now, because if you break her heart even a little bit, I will crush you like a bug, and I won't even think twice about it. Meredith's been hurt enough. She wants to believe you, hell, I want to believe you after reading that letter. So you'd better not be messing with her, because so help me God if you do, I will make you regret ever being born."

Derek couldn't find the words to respond coherently before Molly turned around, grabbing the handles of the stroller and marching away. Derek shuddered. He found himself wondering why was it always the ones you least suspected who scared you the most.

* * *

"And we're done," Mark said, placing the last stitch in Meredith's leg as the OR team applauded. "Good work everyone. Way to sit there and look pretty, Javenson."

"Stuff it, Sloan," Matt laughed over the satellite connection. "Good work, Callie. Send me the latest scans when you get them this afternoon, and let me know how things go once she wakes up. As I said, it shouldn't be long once she wakes up."

"Thanks, Matt. How'd things look on your end?" Callie asked, trying to get some feel for what to expect once Meredith woke up.

"I don't want to give anyone false hope, but that's one of the cleanest procedures I've seen in quite a while," Matt said. "I'd be cautiously optimistic if I were you."


	44. Does It Hurt?

**A/N:** This will be the second to last chapter for this story, I think. I'll have one last "real time" chapter up sometime in the coming week (no promises on when given the way the schedule looks), and then as I promised, a two to three part epilogue, which is mostly written already, so once the final chapter is up, that should follow shortly. Thank you so much to everyone who has stuck with this story, I appreciate it so much!

I've fallen a bit behind on replying to reviews, but I will try to catch up and get at least one reply to each of you in the coming days - my focus the last few days has been on getting these chapters ready for you guys!

* * *

Callie Torres was hiding. It wasn't that she was afraid, more that she was just avoiding. Putting off the inevitable as long as possible, perfecting her excuses, fine-tuning her defense arguments.

In the twenty-four hours since Meredith's surgery, Callie had spent most of her time either in surgery or hovering in supply closets and on call rooms, trying to stay where the chief couldn't find her. The nurses had been her saviors during the past day, pushing her into open rooms, feigning ignorance when the chief demanded her whereabouts.

She'd expected some of the residents and interns to be angry with her. She had, after all, denied them the opportunity to watch a groundbreaking surgery take place. Instead, she'd been surprised by the amount of protection they too were showing her. It seemed that everyone knew the reasons behind her decision, and if Callie had learned one thing in her time at Seattle Grace, it was that you should never underestimate the staff's affection for Meredith Grey. The attendings and her fellow residents respected her because they saw her potential to be the best of the best, the interns admired her because she was by far the best teacher of her class, the nurses loved her because she treated them with respect and consideration.

Still, there was only so long a fifth year resident could hide from the chief of the surgery if he was intent in finding her, and Richard Webber was determined to give Callie Torres a piece of his mind. Rather than wait for him to find her, Callie finally decided to take matters into her own hands and seek him out. Taking a deep breath to steel her nerves, she set her shoulders back and walked confidently up to the nurses' station, where the chief was once again interrogating Debbie.

"Good afternoon, Chief Webber," she said pleasantly, handing her charts off to the nurses. "Debbie, Mrs. Carson in 4312 will need a new MRI in about an hour. Do you think you could take of it, or find an intern for me?"

"Of course, Dr. Torres," Debbie said, quickly walking just far enough away that she was considered out of the way, but close enough to the pair of doctors that she would still hear every juicy, gossip-worthy word.

"Dr. Torres, I've been looking for you," Richard began.

"Have you, Dr. Webber?" Callie asked, feigning ignorance. "I've been quite busy the last few days, lots of emergency surgeries. I hadn't heard anyone was looking for me."

Richard nodded skeptically. "I'm sure you know why I want to speak with you."

"I'm afraid not, Chief. We don't have any results from Dr. Grey's surgery yet, so I really can't think of what you'd want to discuss."

"Don't play dumb, Dr. Torres, it doesn't suit you," Richard cautioned, his annoyance growing. "You deliberately disobeyed my orders that Dr. Grey's surgery be performed with an open gallery. I've been a bit lax in the past, Dr. Torres, but you've taken this one step too far, lying to me and denying the whole hospital a valuable learning opportunity."

"Dr. Webber, I don't know what you're talking about. The gallery was open during Dr. Grey's surgery. I saw several residents and at least one intern up there when I started," Callie said casually, leaving out the fact that Debbie and Olivia had all the other interns running labs and doing rectals most of the morning. "There was some confusion over the scheduling, but really, that's the only trouble we had."

"Scheduling? You mean telling me the surgery was moved to the afternoon and then performing it early in the morning?" Richard said angrily.

"I don't recall ever telling you that the surgery was going to be performed in the afternoon, Chief, despite what you may have overheard. That was the original plan, but after I informed the interns, Dr. Javenson had an opening in the morning, and we figured it was best to get the surgery in as soon as possible, so we took it."

Richard opened his mouth to protest, but was interrupted by the beeping of Callie's pager.

"911, gotta run, Chief," Callie said, taking off at a spring. "We'll talk later," she shouted back at him as she entered the stairwell.

* * *

"What happened?" Callie asked breathlessly as she burst into Meredith's room. Lexie and Izzie were standing at Meredith's side, laughing, while Cristina stood at the foot of the bed, shaking her head at the two of them, with just a slight smile playing on her lips. Molly was holding tightly to Meredith's hand, tears streaming down both their faces.

"It hurts," Meredith said through her tears. "It hurts like hell, Callie."

"It hurts? Wait, the leg hurts?" Callie asked hopefully.

Meredith nodded and smiled as Callie let out a yell of excitement.

"What happened?" George and Alex rushed into the room at the same time, having both received the same 911 page Callie received.

"It worked," Callie said. "Oh my God, it actually worked." Without thinking, she turned and threw her arms around a shocked George, while Alex stood by and smirked as he watched George and Callie celebrate the good news.

"This had better be good, I was this close to getting that new scrub nurse to go out with me," Mark said as he entered the room. "What, are you having a party without me?" he asked, noticing all the people crowded into the room.

"It worked," Callie said again, still in a state of disbelief. "We did it."

"Well, hot damn," Mark said. "You're going to be famous, Grey."

"Can I have painkillers now?" Meredith asked, causing everyone to laugh. "We've established that it hurts, now can we do something about it?"

Callie smiled. "I'll have Debbie start a new IV," she said.

* * *

"Hey, where's Kathleen?" Mark asked as he came up behind Derek a few hours later.

"She's at the hotel, packing," Derek said. "She's taking a red-eye back to New York tonight."

"You scare her off already, Shep?" Mark teased.

"Very funny," Derek replied. "She wants you to join us for dinner tonight, if you're free."

"Wouldn't miss it," Mark said, glad to finally have an opportunity to maybe get back in Derek's good graces.

"What's got you in such a good mood, anyway?" Derek asked curiously. "You haven't stopped smiling since you walked up."

"Grey's surgery worked," Mark said happily.

"Meredith's surgery worked? You mean, she's going to walk again?" Derek asked. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt this relieved.

"It'll be a while, but probably," Mark said. "She's got to wait for the fractures to heal, then she can start physical therapy to get the muscle strength back."

Derek nodded. "How much longer will she be here?"

"Probably another month or so, I'd expect. Torres doesn't want her released until she's out of at least the arm casts and working her way towards crutches," Mark said.

"She hasn't…I mean, I don't expect her to…but has she asked about me at all?" Derek asked hopefully.

Mark shook his head and placed a hand on Derek's shoulder. "Sorry, man, I'm afraid not. Give her some time, let her heal."

* * *

Meredith breathed a sigh as Molly carried Laura out of her room that evening. It was always strange when the end of the day came and she found herself alone. Usually at this point, whichever of her friends were on call would be popping their head in, pretending that they had nothing better to do.

So she wasn't surprised when, after a few minutes, there was a knock on her door. Looking up, the sight in the doorway surprised her just a bit.

"You'd better have tequila in that bag," Meredith said, smiling at the two men who walked into her room.

"Now, Yang told me you were giving that up," Joe teased as he and Walter entered the room.

"Don't believe everything you hear," Meredith laughed. "Although I may be taking a bit of a break for a while."

"Well, you sure have been missed at the bar, that's for sure," Joe said. "Things just aren't the same without whatever crazy thing you're doing that week."

"I'm still hearing about the time you decided to try knitting in a bar," Walter added.

"Ah, those were the days," Joe laughed. "Meredith at her finest."

"Hey, you know it isn't nice to waltz into my room and start making fun of me just because I can't walk away," Meredith pouted.

"Although I hear that's going to be changing real soon," Joe said. "The celebration's already roaring across the street."

"Well, I'm glad I can help boost business even when I'm not drowning in tequila," Meredith smiled. "So, if it's not tequila, what is in that bag you've got?"

"We thought you might be getting a little bored in here," Walter said. "So we picked up a few things to help you pass the time."

Joe pulled out the items and began showing them to Meredith.

"I had no idea what your tastes were, so you've got everything from the first season of _Friends_ to Walter's favorite John Wayne movies. Plus, some survival necessities. Cosmo," Joe laughed as he pulled it out. "Definitely Walter's idea, that one. Let's see, my favorite chocolates…just stay away from the ones in the left corner, they're these nasty caramels, I don't understand who eats them. The rest of them definitely make up for those few, though."

"Are you trying to fatten me up, Joe?" Meredith teased.

"Of course," Joe said. "Why else would I be here? To prove it, we've also got some of this caramel popcorn stuff that Walter likes, to go with the movies you've got."

"You guys are too much, you know that? What did you do, win the lottery or something?" Meredith joked.

"Nah, Karev finally paid his tab," Joe said.

* * *

"So, Mark," Kathleen said as they sat down to dinner that night. "I hear Matt has another success for his implant."

"Well, we've still got to wait a few months to see just how much functions she recovers once the bone heals, but yeah, it looks really good," Mark said.

"I'm glad to hear it," Kathleen said, smiling as the waitress offered the wine list. "None for me, thank you."

"I don't think I've seen you drink this whole visit," Derek commented. "You feeling alright, Kath?"

"Oh, nothing that won't pass in another seven months," she said casually, smiling to herself at the looks of shock on Mark and Derek's faces.

"Oh my God, why didn't you tell me sooner?" Derek asked, pulling Kathleen into a hug. "Does Tom even know?"

"Of course he knows, do you honestly think I'd tell you before I told him?" Kathleen scolded.

"You did the first time," Derek reminded her.

"Must be something in the water back there," Mark commented as he took a sip of his wine.

"Why? Who else is pregnant?" Kathleen asked. "Who've you been talking to?"

"Me? No one, absolutely no one," Mark quickly backpedaled. "I'm just saying…every time I open a magazine, another one of my old clients is pregnant. Definitely going around."

"I don't believe you," Kathleen said accusingly, pulling out her cell phone to do her own snooping. "I figure Beth would be the one you talked to first, so I could just call her and tell her you told me…"

"Stop," Mark practically shouted, grabbing Kathleen's phone out of her hand. "Are you trying to get me killed? You win, alright, Beth is pregnant too. Happy now?"

"How far along is she?" Kathleen demanded to know.

"Six weeks, how far are you?" Mark replied.

"Eight weeks," Kathleen said happily. "Oh this is great! Now if only Abby were pregnant too, it would be just like when Connor, Emma and Amelia were born!"

Mark and Derek both groaned, remembering the full week five years earlier that they'd spent in the maternity ward when the three Shepherd sisters had all decided to have their babies one after the other, Abby on Monday, Beth on Wednesday and Kathleen on Thursday.

"Just space them out a little better than that, alright? Like when Mo and the twins came," Mark said, referring to Abby and Beth's seven year old children. "Three weeks between them was great. Feel free to do that with these babies."

* * *

"May I just say, I rock," Cristina said happily as she walked into Meredith's room late that night. "Completely and totally _rock_. Forget Izzie Stevens…I am a cardio god."

"I take it you got the Ross procedure?" Meredith inquired.

"Not just got," Cristina emphasized. "I totally rocked it."

"Well, that's good to know," Meredith said. "I hear you've got Megan this week, how's she doing?"

"Who?" Cristina asked.

Meredith sighed. "Megan Parker, my intern? Cristina, you have to pay attention to the interns, let them do something every now and then. Otherwise, you're not teaching them anything."

"Are you seriously giving me a lecture on how to do my job?"

"Hey, you know, if your interns are good, it looks better for you…and right now, you're not looking so hot when the attendings have your interns alone," Meredith said. "I'm just saying, as your person, I think you'd get more surgeries if you let your interns do more things. Let them reflect well on you."

"Interesting theory," Cristina said. "If my interns do more, I do more?"

"Exactly," Meredith said. "Think about Dr. Bailey…her reputation rose and fell because of what we did. The people you train reflect upon you as a surgeon, Cristina. Give it a shot, it can't hurt you."


	45. The Bigger Picture

**A/N: **Here it is, the final "real time" chapter of this story. The epilogue will likely be either a really, really long chapter, or split into two regular length chapters. The first half of it is nearly complete, so hopefully the wait for it won't be too long. I once again apologize for all the unexpected delays in the posting of this story. Sometimes I wish life were a bit more predictable, but then, where would all the fun be in that?

Before you say anything in the reviews, I know things aren't really wrapped up in this chapter. They aren't meant to be, they're just meant to reach a natural pause before we jump forward a few months for the epilogue. Things will be wrapped up a little more neatly in the epilogue, but when you read that, keep in mind it is also a segue to the sequel, so not everything will be tied up in a perfect little package with a bow on top. And in terms of the sequel, I already have eight chapters written (not all in order, but hey, it's a start), so I'll probably be able to start posting in a few weeks. I want to take some time and make some serious progress on my other Grey's fiction, which is currently on hiatus because of my crazy schedule, before I start posting that.

* * *

"So, Grey, I hear you're beating the odds again," Miranda Bailey said as she walked into Meredith's room the next morning.

"You know me, Dr. Bailey," Meredith smiled. "I've just got to be dramatic about things. Making my mark and all that."

"One of these days, you're going to learn how to stay out of trouble, Grey," Bailey laughed.

"Nah," Meredith said. "Then what would you have to worry about?"

"Oh trust me, Grey, the rest of your whiny friends give me fits enough as it is," Bailey groaned. "Not to mention the fact that my son is apparently hitting other kids and my husband didn't think it was important to tell me, but hey, I'm only his mother, why should I know?"

"Still having problems with your husband, Dr. Bailey?" Meredith asked sympathetically.

"Do I look like I want to talk about my love life, Grey? Do I look like your little girlfriend?"

"I'm just saying, you seem like maybe you could use some advice," Meredith said. "A little help seeing the big picture or something like that."

"I see the big picture just fine, Grey," Bailey assured her. "The big picture is what my husband refuses to see. The big picture is that while he's complaining about not getting enough attention, I'm running a free clinic that is saving the lives of this city's less fortunate. While he's complaining I'm not home for dinner, I'm making sure the residents don't kill anyone under my watch. While he's complaining that I'm not spending enough time with my son, I'm in an OR, elbow deep in guts, saving lives. I am a surgeon, Grey, and if he refuses to see that, then that's his problem, not mine."

Meredith sighed and glared at her chief resident.

"What is that look for, Grey?"

"I just never thought you'd turn into my mother, that's all," Meredith said. "I never thought you'd make the same mistakes she did."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Bailey demanded.

"Look, I know you love Tucker and I know you love your son," Meredith said. "Which in and of itself makes you different than my mother, because I'm fairly certain she never really loved my father. But beyond that, have you listened to yourself speak, Dr. Bailey? You're a surgeon, but you're not superwoman, for God's sake. There's only so much of you to go around, and if you give it all to this hospital, what's left for you at the end of the day? A hospital doesn't have dinner waiting you get home. You can't kiss the hospital good night. When you're having a bad day, you can't give the hospital a hug."

"I get it, the hospital isn't a person," Bailey interrupted. "What's your point?"

"I just think you need to decide if it is more important for you to be seen as superwoman in the medical arena, or if it's more important for you to save your marriage and keep your family together."

"You think I can't do both?" Bailey asked. "Be a surgeon and be a good wife and mother?"

"I didn't say that," Meredith said. "But you have to make sacrifices, Dr. Bailey. My mother made all her sacrifices in her family life. If it's worth it to you to save your family, you have to make sacrifices in other areas. Just think about this…when was the last time you spent an entire uninterrupted hour in the clinic?"

"This morning," Bailey said, wondering just where this was going.

"And working on the residents' schedules?"

"Last night," Bailey said.

"And in surgery?" Meredith asked.

"Two hours ago," Bailey replied.

"And the last time you spent an uninterrupted hour with your husband?" Meredith asked.

Bailey paused as she pondered the question before sighing heavily and sinking into the chair by Meredith's bed. "Good Lord, Grey, maybe you should have been a lawyer…or a shrink, perhaps."

Meredith smiled sadly. "Can't remember, can you?"

"How do I fix this?" Bailey asked, sounding uncharacteristically broken.

"Do you really need to do everything that you do?" Meredith prompted. "No one doubts that you're a fabulous surgeon, you've already established an impeccable reputation. Hospitals are going to be fighting tooth and nail to get you when you start getting attending offers at the end of the year. Hell, you'll probably be chief of surgery someday. But do you need to be chief resident, run the clinic, supervise residents and operate, every hour of every day of the week? Because you're running yourself into the ground, and I just think if you want time with your family, you need to establish a different set of priorities and stick to them."

"I think I see what you're saying," Bailey said. "I've got to see the bigger picture."

"Exactly," Meredith said, smiling as Bailey walked out of her room.

* * *

"Okay, something totally weird is going on in this hospital," Lexie announced as she walked into Meredith's room later that afternoon.

"Are you sure it isn't just you?" Molly asked jokingly.

"Very funny," Lexie said, rolling her eyes at her younger sister before turning back to Meredith. "No, seriously, something strange is going on."

"Oh my God, what is going with this hospital today?" George exclaimed as he walked into the room a few seconds later.

"You noticed it too?" Lexie asked, eager to confirm her point.

"Um, it's sort of hard to avoid," George said. "I swear, I was talking to Bailey about a patient, and she didn't listen to a word I said. Just mumbled something about looking for the bigger picture and stared straight on ahead."

Meredith giggled from the bed. "You might want to give her a little space today," she advised. "She'll figure it out soon enough and be back to her same old self."

"Okay, that is strange," Lexie agreed. "But I think mine is weirder."

"Try me," George dared her.

"Megan and I were down in the pit, and this trauma came in. The guy needed a tracheotomy, but I'd never done one before…Megan had, but she was in the other room, working on another trauma. So I paged Dr. Yang, because this guy needed the tracheotomy, and I had no clue how to do one. So she gets in there, and she gets all the equipment ready, and then…and this is the freaky part," Lexie warned as she paused for effect. "She handed me the scalpel. _Me_. She actually let me do it. I mean, she was there, telling me what to do, but she let me do it. I think she was actually trying to teach me something."

"Cristina Yang?" George asked in shock. "Cristina actually let you do a procedure? Are you sure?"

"I was there George," Lexie insisted. "I did it."

"Miracles do happen," Meredith laughed.

"Seriously, you spend all day lying in a hospital bed, Mer," George said. "So why is it you're never surprised by these things we tell you? It's like you know what we're going to say before we say it."

"Hasn't she ever told you?" Alex said from the doorway. "Grey's a psychic. I'm planning on renting her out for parties to make some extra cash if anyone's interested."

"Oh, shut up, Alex," Meredith laughed. "You'd be surprised what you hear when you just stay in one place and let all the information come to you. Plus, it helps when you're nice to the nurses."

"I'm very nice to the nurses," Alex protested.

"Sleeping with them does not count as being nice to them," Meredith said. "It just doesn't work that way. And really, you don't have to get all the nurses to like you. Just get Debbie, and you're set for life."

"Oh. My. God," Izzie gasped as she rushed into Meredith's room, barely noticing that it was already full of people. "You will never believe what just happened!"

"Take a number," Molly laughed. It had taken her only a few days to realize that she shouldn't be surprised that everyone came running to her sister whenever anything happened. In fact, she was fairly certain that's where most of Meredith's so-called "mystery" information came from.

"Does it involve Bailey or Cristina?" Meredith asked curiously.

"Seriously, what are you, psychic?" Izzie asked in awe. "It is about Bailey."

"Did she hit you with that big picture mumbo-jumbo?" George asked.

"You know, she did mention something about that," Izzie said, pausing to think about what had just happened. "Yeah, she definitely made some comment about how she'd been looking all day and she'd finally seen the bigger picture. Then she told me how I was the most caring resident she had, and how she trusted me, and how she knew I'd make her proud…and then she just gave me the clinic. Seriously, she handed me the keys and told me that it was now my clinic to run. Oh my God, how exciting is this, guys! Oh, George, Alex, Lexie, I brought a new clinic schedule, I hope you don't mind being the first to sign up," Izzie said, smiling widely as she pulled out a bright pink binder, which she had already jammed full with schedules and supply re-order forms.

"I guess she finally saw that big picture," Meredith thought aloud as she smiled to herself.

* * *

"Do I look like a daycare provider?" Callie complained as she walked into Meredith's room later that afternoon, a chart in one hand, Bailey's son on her hip. "Do I have a sign that says, 'Hey, I'd love to take your kid for a few hours?' Is that what it is?"

"Hi Tuck," George smiled, happily taking his namesake from Callie's arms.

"I thought we agreed we weren't baby people yet," Callie protested as George began playing with Tuck.

"I have to make an exception for Tuck," George explained. "You do know this baby is named after me, don't you?"

"Miranda Bailey named her son after an intern?" Callie asked skeptically, looking at Meredith for confirmation.

"That she did," Meredith agreed. "I was off with my hand on a bomb at the time, so I wasn't there, but apparently George helped convince her to deliver even though her husband wasn't there."

"Okay, but that still does not make me a babysitter," Callie said. "And would one of you please explain to me why Bailey was running out of here in the middle of the afternoon anyway?"

"Um, what exactly happened?" George asked in confusion.

"I'm just walking down the hall, minding my own business, when she comes up out of nowhere and sticks the kid in my arms," Callie explained. "She said, 'Dr. Torres, you're a woman who's got a second chance at marriage, I know you'll understand my bigger picture here. I've got to go set my priorities, so watch Tuck while I go do that, okay?' And before I could tell her I was absolutely no good at babysitting, she just walked away."

* * *

"People in this hospital are just weird, man," Mark said as he walked into Derek's office that evening. "I mean it, just really weird."

"Which is why you fit right in," Derek said absentmindedly as he half-heartedly concentrated on the paperwork in front of him.

"Okay, what's eating you?" Mark asked, flopping down on Derek's couch. "And how come you get the comfy couch in your office, and I get that awful excuse for a couch in mine?"

"I was here first," Derek shrugged, not looking up from his papers.

"Is this about Meredith again?" Mark guessed, knowing almost everything had to do with her these days.

"I don't know how to do it," Derek sighed, leaning back in his chair. "This waiting thing is killing me."

"What are you going on about?" Mark asked. "Please don't tell me you screwed this up already, Shepherd, because I swear to God, you're my brother and I love you but if you messed with her again, I will kick your ass so badly Maggie won't even recognize you when you finally drag yourself back to New York."

"Okay, no, I didn't screw it up, but I appreciate your faith in my abilities, Mark, I really do. And what is with everyone threatening me these days?" Derek asked.

"Who else threatened you?" Mark asked curiously.

"Meredith's sister," Derek said.

"I think Lexie did a bit more than threaten you, Derek," Mark laughed.

"Not Lexie, the younger one. The one with the baby," Derek said.

"Molly? Molly threatened you?" Mark said. "Now that I find amusing. Although, come to think of it, the girl throws a mean rattle. My shoulder still hurts from it."

"I won't even ask," Derek said.

"I appreciate that," Mark said. "So, if you didn't screw things up, what's the problem?"

"I miss her," Derek said sadly. "She's just on the other side of the floor, I know that, but I can't see her. I can't get anywhere near her. I just…all the times before, I've been able to see her everyday, to hear her voice, even if all she did was yell at me. I didn't know how much it would hurt to miss her like this."

"Oh man, Grey has turned you into a little girl," Mark said playfully as he sat up to stare at his friend. "Really, Derek, you're just going to have to figure this thing out, because this isn't a quick fix situation. You're going to be waiting for a while."

"I know," Derek sighed. "I just don't know how to get through it."

"One day at a time," Mark suggested. "You get up, you do what you need to do, and you repeat the next day. I'm not saying that eventually it'll get easier, because I don't know that it will. I just think, you've got to do this for her, Derek. If you can't, I really don't think you two will get another chance. And look at the bigger picture...in the grand scheme of things, how much is a few months or a year going to matter if you get the rest of your life with the woman you love?"

"One day at a time," Derek repeated quietly, processing the idea. "One day at a time."


	46. Epilogue, Part 1

**A/N: **Didn't I tell you I'd get this up much more quickly than the last few chapters? I guess that shouldn't be a surprise to me, seeing as I've had most of this half of the epilogue written for weeks. The other half isn't nearly as complete, but I know exactly what I want to have happen, so it shouldn't take more than a few days to get it down in writing.

A quick note on the timing - the last "real time" chapter of this story (chapter 45) took place during the first week of February. For the epilogue, we've jumped forward a little over three months and are now at the end of May. I think that's all you need to know, the rest should become apparent during the two chapters. Enjoy, and please review to let me know what you think!

* * *

Derek Shepherd smiled as he slipped into a pew in the middle of the church, adjusting his tie slightly as he sat back in his seat. Derek had always loved weddings. They were full of hope, brimming with the promise of the future and all the happiness it would bring to the couple. He loved the optimism of a wedding, and there had been a time when he had made it a point to attend as many as he possibly could. So it came as a surprise to him when the invitation for this ceremony had arrived and he realized that he had been to only two weddings in the last six years.

It certainly wasn't as though he hadn't been invited to any in that time. After all, he and Addison had been quite the 'it' couple in the New York medical community, and as such had received countless invitations to the weddings of fellow attendings, residents and even a few overeager interns. After a while, though, with his own marriage strained, it had all started to feel a bit forced to Derek. With their busy schedules, Addison had barely noticed when he began sending their regrets in response to every invitation that came their way. The last wedding they'd attended together had been his sister Nancy's latest, and Nancy's weddings had long ago stopped feeling full of hope for the future, at least for those witnessing the occasion for the third or fourth time.

After he had moved to Seattle, the invitation stream had let up significantly, but he'd still received a few. He'd even thought about attending one or two of them, but had always decided against it, first because he couldn't bring himself to celebrate marriage with Addison at his side, and later because he simply couldn't bring himself to celebrate love without Meredith at his side. He had made an exception for Burke and Cristina, but that wedding hadn't exactly done much to inspire optimism in him either.

When he first saw the invitation for this wedding, though, he couldn't help but smile, because he knew Meredith had approved his invitation. Derek had never been accused of being lacking in the ego department, but even he knew better than to think that he was important enough to either the bride or the groom to receive an invitation over her objection. In fact, he was fairly certain that he wouldn't be sitting in that pew without her explicit approval. That invitation had been a sign that she was ready, if not to take him back, at least to see him again. And it was that thought that brought a smile to his face as he looked around the church.

* * *

Izzie Stevens stood in the reception hall adjacent to the Catholic church, admiring her handiwork. _Definitely something to be proud of,_ she thought as she placed the final tier on the elegant wedding cake she'd spent the last three days slaving over. _At least I know if surgery doesn't pan out, I can still be a kick-ass baker_.

"Barbie, what the hell are you doing?" Cristina shouted as she rushed into the hall.

"Um, working on the wedding cake," Izzie laughed. "Duh."

"Yeah, well, Meredith sent me to find you. The bridesmaids are all getting dressed and if you don't get over there soon, she's threatening to stick me in your dress and make me walk down the aisle." Cristina grimaced at the thought.

"Good heavens, we certainly wouldn't want that, now would we?" Izzie teased sarcastically. "Just give me a second, I'm almost finished here," she said, putting away her equipment. "Okay, let's go, it's wedding day!"

"Do you have to be so damn peppy?" Cristina asked as she and Izzie walked next door to the church.

"Do you have to be so grumpy? I mean, really, it's a wedding, Cristina, not a funeral! Just because you weren't asked to be a bridesmaid…"

"Um, correction, I made it perfectly clear before any asking could take place that I would not, under any circumstances, put on a frumpy dress and stand in front two hundred guests. Did it once as a bride, I sure as hell don't intend to repeat the experience as a bridesmaid."

* * *

"It's about time you got back, we were getting worried you weren't going to show!" Addison exclaimed as she ushered Izzie into the changing room and handed her dress to her.

"Sorry, the last touches on the cake took a bit longer than expected. I think they're really going to like it, though," Izzie said, smiling as she slipped easily into the floor length emerald green gown. "Can you give me a hand with this sleeve here?" she asked as she attempted to pull down the fabric.

"Sure," Addison said, easing the long sleeves into place. "Who had the bright idea of long-sleeved dresses, anyway? It seems so old-fashioned. And it's May, shouldn't we be wearing something a bit more summery?"

"They match the wedding dress," Izzie shrugged. "And it's Seattle, it's cloudy and rainy all the time, so we don't do summery. Besides, you have to admit, they are sort of elegant. Very tasteful."

"Tasteful?" Erica Hahn asked, stepping into the room in her gown. "You've got to be kidding me, Stevens. I mean, really, who wears long-sleeved bridesmaid dresses these days?"

"You'd be unhappy in any dress, Dr. Hahn," Izzie said, slightly frustrated by all the negativity in the room. "Can't we all just not complain for one day? Our friend is getting married, and all anyone can do is complain. For crying out loud people, this is a freaking happy day, so act like it!"

"I suppose we should just be grateful," Addison said. "They could be much, much worse…were you ever a bridesmaid in the eighties?"

"I managed to avoid that particular form of torture," Erica laughed. "Heck, I didn't even have bridesmaids when I got married."

"I didn't know you were married, Dr. Hahn," Izzie said in surprise.

"Apparently, neither did my ex-husband, judging by the way he jumped into bed with his secretary at the first opportunity," Erica said nonchalantly. "At least we didn't waste any money on some over-done ceremony. I wore a suit to my wedding. We had a simple city hall ceremony, two witnesses, definitely no hoopla. Now that was my kind of wedding."

"Okay, explain to me again how the hell you manage to not get along with Cristina Yang," Izzie demanded. "I swear, you two are the same freaking person!"

* * *

Callie Torres smiled as she stood in front of the full length mirror, taking in a reflection she hadn't been sure she'd ever see. In fact, she hardly recognized the woman staring back at her. Her hair was swept back in a simple twist, with just a few strands left loose to frame her face. A long, off-white gown clung to her torso and flowed loose around her legs. The full length sleeves loosened into a bell-shape below her elbows and hand embroidered lace graced the ends of the sleeves and covered the torso. Her mother had objected to the dress, claiming it wasn't fashionable enough for her only daughter. Callie had fallen in love with the dress, though, and she wouldn't be swayed by her mothers arguments.

"Callie?" Meredith's voice pulled her from her thoughts. "Everyone's here, and ready to go when you are. Are you ready?"

"I…I think so," Callie said. "I shouldn't be nervous, right? I mean, we're already married. This is just…I don't know, icing on the cake or something like that, right?"

"Callie, you'll be fine," Meredith assured her. "I could offer you a rousing rendition of the kick-your-ass-down-the-aisle maid of honor speech I gave to Cristina, but I really don't think you need it. You and George, you guys are meant to be, as stupid and cliché as that sounds."

"I think I like cliché today," Callie laughed, before noticing the way in which Meredith was leaning heavily on the door frame. "Are you alright?"

"Don't worry about me," Meredith smiled. "I'm great. Today is all about you. You finally get to be the bride, and I promise, no Elvis impersonators this time around."

"Oh, I don't know, I thought Elvis would be sort of fun at the reception," Callie teased, causing both women to burst into laughter.

* * *

As the organist began to play, the guests in the church quickly quieted down and turned toward the doors in the back, watching with smiles on their faces as George O'Malley entered the church and escorted his mother down the aisle to her seat in the front pew before continuing on to his place beside the altar. Louise O'Malley could barely contain her happiness as she sat down and smiled at her son. It seemed inconceivable to her that less than a year ago, she had found herself kneeling in this same church, the church she had raised her children in, the church in which she and her husband had been married nearly forty years earlier, praying for forgiveness for her son's indiscretions, convinced that his marriage was in ruins. Now, everything felt so right as she sat there, watching her son stand in front of his friends and family, ready to renew his vows with the woman he loved.

Erica Hahn, meanwhile, could not even try to smile as she walked down the aisle on the arm of George's brother Jerry. All of her energy was directed towards the effort it took for her to not fall flat on her face as she walked. Erica was not a woman who wore heels often. In fact, she was quite certain she hadn't even bothered to wear a pair to her own disastrous wedding. If Callie wasn't the closest thing she'd ever had to a best friend, there wouldn't have been money enough in all of Seattle to convince her to put on a pair. As it was, though, Callie was her friend, and so she had swallowed her objections, slipped on the floor length gown and two inch heels, and was now tottering her way down the aisle.

Addison Montgomery, on the other hand, was never more comfortable than when she was in heels, so her energy was free to focus on the event at hand. As she walked down the aisle on the arm of Ronny O'Malley, she marveled at the fact that both of the younger O'Malley brothers, normally immature and difficult to control, seemed to be on their best behavior that day. She had a sneaking suspicion that Louise O'Malley had spent most of the last week threatening them with severe harm if they dared to set one foot out of line that day. Addison smiled softly at Derek as they walked past, trying to hold back the giggle she felt rising up in her throat as she saw the shock on his face at seeing her there.

* * *

"Relax, Stevens, things won't go well if you forget to breathe," Mark Sloan whispered as he and Izzie Stevens stood at the back of the church, waiting for their cue to head down the aisle.

"It just seems so strange, that's all," Izzie said. "A year ago, I was trying to hide an affair from Callie, and now she and George are renewing their vows and I'm a bridesmaid. A freaking bridesmaid, Mark! Seriously, why wasn't I ever nice to her? I'm pretty damn sure I wouldn't have been this forgiving."

"You think this is any less awkward for me?" Mark asked. "I can honestly say, this is the first time I've been in the wedding party of one of my one night stands."

"You had a one night stand with Callie?" Izzie gasped. "One, how did I not know this? And two, what the hell was George thinking when he asked you to be his groomsman?"

"Hey, you can't change the past," Mark shrugged. "You can only change what you do about it in the future. I'm Callie's friend and you're George's friend. That's why we're here. O'Malley and Torres, they're getting a second chance…and you and I, we get a second chance to be the friends we should have been back then. And by that, I mean the 'without-benefits' kind."

"Okay, well, let's do this thing, then, shall we?" Izzie smiled as she slipped her arm into Mark's, took a deep breath, and headed down the aisle. She smiled softly as she thought about Mark's words, and the fact that now, he was mistaken. Because as much as she had resisted, she wasn't just George's friend anymore, she was Callie's as well. As she walked, she couldn't help but think about the moment that had completely transformed her relationship with Callie.

"_Oh come on, just try a few more, we've got find one that works," Callie laughed as Izzie stepped out of the dressing room in what must have been the fiftieth bridesmaid dress she'd tried on that afternoon. She silently found herself wishing that she hadn't been the only one available for shopping that afternoon. Callie had it down to two wedding dresses, but she insisted she couldn't choose until they had picked a bridesmaid dress._

"_Oh my God, this is it," Izzie exclaimed as she stepped out in a floor length, strapless red gown._

"_It's perfect," Callie agreed as she stepped up to look at the dress._

"_It'll be great with Dr. Hahn's skin tone," Izzie commented. "And can you picture with Addison's bone structure? It will be breathtaking. And Meredith's hair color is a perfect match to the dress. This is so great, Callie…wait, what's wrong?" Izzie frowned as she watched Callie's smile falter._

"_It won't work," she said quietly. "No, we need a different style."_

"_What are you talking about?" Izzie asked in confusion, trying to figure out what Callie's problem was. "This dress is perfect."_

"_No, it's not," Callie insisted. "It needs to have sleeves, at least three-quarters length. And the neckline, it needs to be higher. The back as well, I think."_

_Izzie couldn't quite figure out what was going on as she watched Callie call the saleswoman over and request every long-sleeved gown they had in stock. Suddenly, it hit Izzie, and she couldn't believe Callie had thought of it and she hadn't…Meredith's scars hadn't faded yet, and she wasn't comfortable enough with them to show them. She'd been wearing turtle-necks almost every day since she had come from the hospital._

_As Izzie watched Callie shifting her wedding plans to make her friend more comfortable, Izzie finally realized what she was seeing. Callie wasn't an outsider anymore. She wasn't just some woman who was married to George. No, Izzie could see it now, and only regretted that she hadn't seen it or let it happen sooner…Callie was definitely part of the family._

* * *

Derek felt his heart rise in his throat as he watched the final pair of the wedding party come into view. For the first time in months, she was close enough that he could see her chest rise and fall as Meredith Grey walked down the aisle on the arm of Alex Karev. She was leaning heavily on his arm, but in a practiced, deliberate way so that no one who wasn't familiar with her every minute detail of her movements would notice. Derek could also see the faint red lines snaking along her jaw line and down the side of her neck, barely noticeable beneath the layers of make-up she had on. The untrained eye would glance straight over them, fooled by the combination of Mark's brilliant surgery and Meredith's newfound talent with cosmetics. As with her walk, though, Derek was familiar with every inch of her body and the changes were clear to him. In spite of it all, he couldn't help but think that she looked as beautiful and radiant then as she ever had.

Just as his mind began to wander back to memories of their last visit with one another, Derek noticed everyone around him standing up and turning towards the back of the church. He quickly followed suit and rose to his feet as the organist began to play the wedding march.

* * *

Callie Torres stood in the back of the church, holding tightly to her father's arm.

"Dad?" she whispered. "We have to walk down the aisle now."

"Are you sure you want to do this, baby?" Mr. Torres leaned over and whispered to his daughter. "I can have a car brought around, get you on a plane by tonight, have you back in Florida by sunrise."

"Dad, we've had this talk a thousand times," Callie whispered, letting go of her father's arm. "Now, I'm walking down this aisle and renewing my vows to George O'Malley right now. There will be no divorce, no annulment, no running away. You can come with me and smile while you do it, or you can stay back here and face Mama's wrath later. I don't care which you choose, but you have exactly two seconds to decide before I march off down that aisle."

Mr. Torres sighed as he looked at his daughter. "Okay then, let's get you down to your husband," he smiled at Callie, sticking out his elbow for her to loop her arm through as they slowly walked down the aisle towards the altar where George was waiting.

When they reached the altar, Mr. Torres leaned in and kissed Callie gently on the cheek before placing her hand in George's and stepping into the front pew next to his wife, who hadn't even made it to the start of the ceremony before breaking into the pack of tissues she had stuffed into her purse.

"Dearly beloved," the priest began, but his words went unheard by the pair standing hand in hand before him, lost in each others' eyes as they smiled and realized that this was finally it. This was the moment their lives began anew. This was their second chance, and they fully intended to seize it and hold on with everything they had in them.


	47. Epilogue, Part 2

"So, why aren't you two dancing?" Addison asked as she sat down between Cristina and Meredith. The reception had been in full swing for several hours, and it was obvious that Callie's parents had spared no expense on the event. From the live band to the roses on the tables to the wine and hors d'oeuvres being passed by the tuxedoed waiters, everything was top of the line.

"Do I really look like I do this whole dancing thing?" Cristina asked. "They're lucky I'm here at all. This is so not my idea of a good time."

"Now Cristina, just because no one's bleeding, doesn't mean you have to be all depressed," Meredith laughed before turning to Addison. "We have to keep reminding her this is a wedding, not a funeral."

"And what's your excuse?" Cristina asked. "Shouldn't you be off twirling around the dance floor with Officer McSexy?"

Addison nearly choked on the water she'd just sipped. "Officer McSexy? Seriously?"

"Don't look at me, it wasn't my idea," Meredith said, throwing up her hands in mock protest. "But come on, it is kind of a good McName."

"Fine," Addison laughed. "Kevin is getting me another drink. I still can't believe you McNamed my fiancé. If I told the boys down at the station, oh he'd never this down."

"Hold it right there," Meredith said. "Did you just refer to Officer McSexy as your fiancé? Addison Montgomery, is there something you want to tell me?"

Addison smiled coyly and nodded. "He proposed last week. I just figured I'd wait and tell everyone later. This week is supposed to be about George and Callie."

"So where's the ring?" Cristina asked. "I assume he bought you a rock."

"It's being resized," Addison explained. "I couldn't even get it over my knuckle. I swear, he must have bought a child-sized ring, because my fingers aren't _that_ big."

* * *

"Are you sure we have to do this?" Meredith asked as she and Alex walked toward the stage. "I mean, who's idea was this anyway? I ramble and you…well, you have to be threatened to get you to say something nice. Who thought we'd be good candidates to make speeches?"

"I'm pretty sure it's part of the standard best man/maid of honor duties, Mer," Alex laughed. "We've just got to suck it up and get this over with."

"Fine," Meredith grumbled as Alex took her arm and helped her up onto the stage. "Let's just do it quickly."

Alex laughed as someone tapped a knife against a champagne flute to quiet the crowd down.

"Seriously, I have a much better way to get people to be quiet," Alex whispered to Meredith as he grabbed the microphone from its stand and turned toward the crowded room. "Hey people, it's speech time, so shut up!" he shouted.

"Much better," Alex said as everyone instantly quieted down and turned toward the stage. "So, apparently as best man I'm supposed to give a little speech, offer up some great insight into the history of the happy couple, crap like that. But I'll leave the sentimental stuff to the maid of honor, because she does it so better than I do." Alex grinned at Meredith and was rewarded with a sharp glare and a roll of the eyes.

"So, those of you who were around for the beginning of our internship might be a bit surprised to see me standing here today. I guess you could say that George and I didn't exactly get off on the right foot. Actually, I didn't exactly get off on the right foot with anyone, come to think of it. But George was the only one responsible for a certain shiny black eye I sported for a few weeks." The hospital crowd laughed heartily, while everyone else just chuckled, certain their was an inside joke they were being left out of. "I tell you, the kid can throw a punch. It didn't take long, though, to see that O'Malley really was a good guy…I think it actually took a lot longer for him to see that I wasn't such a bad guy. You sometimes hear people say that there are many types of families, but that the one thing they all have in common is that you don't really get to pick them, they're just sort of there. When George, Meredith, Izzie, Cristina and I started at Seattle Grace, I'm pretty sure none of us were expecting to find a family. But, through some crazy twist of fate, that's exactly what we became, whether we wanted it or not. And over the past two years, we've been through some pretty crazy stuff together. The one constant, no matter how much we all fight, no matter how much we proclaim to hate each other, is that we'll always be there, ready a moment's notice…and, I have to say, a family like that, well, it's a pretty damn cool thing to have. So, on behalf of all of us, I want to say to Callie, welcome to the family. And be ready, because we're one hell of a roller coaster to be part of. So," Alex said, raising his champagne flute as he wrapped up his toast. "I'd like you all to join me in toasting to family, in all its wacky forms, and to the newest member of our family, the woman who now has quite possibly the coolest name in all of Seattle, to Callie O'Malley."

Meredith laughed as she listened to the cheers from the crowd. "I'm impressed, Evil Spawn," she whispered to Alex.

"Yeah, well, I do sentimental about once a year, so don't expect it again for a long while," Alex laughed. "It's your turn now, Grey."

Meredith sighed and took the microphone from Alex. "Okay, so apparently I really have to do this speech thing too," Meredith sighed as she steadied her nerves. Public speaking was definitely not her thing. "Those of you who've known me for a while know that I know a thing or two about heartbreak. The thing about that, though, is that I also know a thing or two about true love. I used to think that it was the stuff of fairytales, something that only existed in a dream world, not something that would ever happen to real people. But really, all you have to do is look around to see that, even if you haven't found it yet, it isn't a fairytale. Love is the force that brings two people back together when everything they know is telling them to run in the opposite direction. Love is what keeps us up at night, and brings tears to our eyes. But at the same time, love is what makes us smile those smiles that go straight to the eyes. Love is what makes you throw caution to the wind and laugh like you've never laughed before. Love is one hell of a ride, and it doesn't ever really end. In the fairytales, they all end with happily ever after. But a story about real love, that's where it should start, not where it should end. Because as anyone who's ever looked for it knows, happily ever after is pretty damn hard to find, even if you think you're living it. And I think the problem is that we have too many expectations. We don't expect that Prince Charming will screw up. We don't expect that we'll be fighting over the dishes and laundry. We don't expect to be annoyed and frustrated. But you know what? That stuff happens in happily ever after too. In that regard, I think the fairytales are wrong. Happily ever after isn't perfect. It's far from it, actually. I think when love it at its truest, though, we can make our own happily ever after. And it may not fit with what Disney would have us believe, but it fits for the two people living it. So, my toast is to George and Callie…may you make your own happily ever after, whatever that might be to you."

* * *

Meredith couldn't help but smile as she sat at her table and looked around at her friends and family. Now that her speech was over, she could relax and enjoy the party. Cristina and Alex were seated at a nearby table, bickering over something. Meredith wasn't quite sure what, but was fairly certain it had to do with one their cases. It always did with those two.

Mark was leaning against the bar, flirting shamelessly with one of Callie's cousins. _Some things never change_, Meredith thought to herself as she shook her head.

Addison and Kevin were happily twirling around on the dance floor, lost in their own world. Not too far away, Meredith spotted the chief and his wife, Adele, in a similar position. She smiled as she watched the recently reconciled couple enjoy each others' company. She knew that Richard had carried around the guilt of his affair with her mother for far too long, and that it had had a disastrous effect on his marriage. She couldn't help but hope that this was a sign that, after all these years, he had finally put the memory of her mother to rest.

Lexie was sitting on the other side of the room, her head resting on Pierce's shoulder. Meredith shook her head as she watched the two interns. She hadn't quite been sure what to make of Pierce when Lexie had started dating him about a month earlier. He had seemed a bit too arrogant, a bit too much like Alex, his resident, when she had first met him. No doubt he was an excellent intern, that was why she had picked him for her leg surgery, but still, it had taken a while for her to warm to the idea of him as a boyfriend for her sister. Lexie had just laughed the whole time, telling Meredith it was fun to finally see her overprotective big sister drive kicking in.

Bailey and her husband were nearby, chatting with Erica Hahn and George's mother. Meredith had been thrilled that Miranda Bailey and Tucker Jones had finally been able to work out their differences and salvage their marriage. She knew things weren't perfect for them, but they were trying and they were making progress every day.

"Hey," Derek's voice startled Meredith out of her thoughts. She looked up to see him standing in front of her, his hands shoved into pockets in a way she knew he only did when he was really nervous.

"Hi," she said, suddenly feeling butterflies in her stomach that she hadn't felt in a long.

"I…um…well, I was just wondering if maybe you wanted to dance?" Derek asked.

Meredith paused for just a moment before answering. Rationally, she knew she should say no. Not because she didn't want to, but because today hadn't exactly been the best day for leg strength, and she wasn't sure just how well she could dance at that point. On the other hand, though, she desperately wanted to be in his arms again, even if it was just for a few minutes.

"Okay," she said, holding out her hand as a signal for him to help her up.

Derek grinned and pulled Meredith to her feet as he led her out onto the dance floor.

* * *

Across the dance floor, Callie smiled and nudged her husband. "Look," she whispered, pointing to where Meredith was now wrapped in Derek's arms.

"Well, maybe it's about time she started looking for her happily ever after, too," George smiled. "But if he hurts her again…"

"He won't," Callie assured him.

"How do you know that?" George asked.

"The same reason I know you won't hurt me again…he loves her too much to risk losing what they have again."

"I really do love you," George said. "And I won't hurt you again."

"I know," Callie smiled as she leaned over and kissed her husband. And somewhere deep inside, they both knew that it was true.

* * *

Derek couldn't help but notice the way Meredith leaned heavily into his arms, as if she needed him to help hold her up as they moved slowly around the dance floor. If he were being honest, he'd have to admit that it was a bit uncomfortable, but after all the months apart, he was fairly certain he would have carried her all night long if it meant her could have her close to him.

"I've missed you," he whispered, hoping he wasn't taking a wrong step, but not being able to stand not telling her how he felt.

"I missed you too," Meredith whispered back, her head leaning on his shoulder, not daring to look up into his eyes for fear he would see the tears forming in hers.

They danced on in silence for a few more minutes, both reveling in the feel of the other's body pressed against theirs.

As the song wound to a close, Meredith finally looked up into Derek's eyes. "Do you think we could take a walk?" she asked him tentatively. "Just into the garden outside…I guess we kind of need to talk."

Derek nodded, hoping she couldn't feel his heart pounding rapidly as he instinctively slipped an arm around her waist and offered her his support as he led her out to the garden behind the reception hall, eventually finding a bench

"So, um, how've you been?" Derek asked nervously.

"Good...things are getting better," Meredith said, pausing for a moment before adding, "I'm getting better."

"That's great," Derek said. "I know you asked me not to, so I didn't, but I've wanted to call you so many times, to just stop by the house and see you."

"I probably wouldn't have been there anyway," Meredith said.

"Why not?" Derek asked in confusion.

"I'm not exactly living there right now," Meredith admitted. "When I was released from the hospital, I was still in a wheelchair for about a week, and then I was on crutches until just a few weeks ago. It just wasn't going to work, me staying at the house like that, especially with Alex and Izzie at the hospital so much. It would have too difficult to go up and down the stairs by myself."

"So where have you been staying?" Derek asked.

"Believe it or not, I'm living with my sister Molly right now," Meredith said. "She's got a one story house, so it was easier after I was released, plus she's a stay at home mother, so she's always around if I need help. Strange, isn't it? I never thought I'd do the whole sister thing…but it's kind of nice, in a weird way."

"I'm really glad you've got your family around," Derek said.

"I do worry that sometimes I'm a bit of a burden to Molly, but she insists it's what sisters do…I guess she'd know better than I would," Meredith admitted. "I still can't drive, so she takes me to all my physical therapy appointments, she takes me to my therapist, to visit my friends…I don't know what I'd do without her."

"Therapist?" Derek asked.

"I told you I had issues to deal with," Meredith said, shrugging her shoulders. "So I'm dealing with them. Therapy is part of that."

Derek nodded and they sat in silence, staring up at the stars, for a few more minutes before Meredith once again spoke up.

"Are you…are you happy, Derek?" she asked.

Derek paused for a moment before he answered. "Right now, in this moment, yes, I'm happy," he said.

"But in general? When you wake up in the morning, when you go to work, are you happy?" Meredith asked.

Derek sighed. "No, I guess not. I mean, I love my work, the house is nearly finished, my relationship with my family is getting a lot better, but no, I'm not happy. Satisfied, maybe, but not happy…not without you."

Meredith nodded. "Me neither…I've tried, but it's almost as if I don't know how to be really happy without you. I have moments, times when I do feel happy…when Laura laughs, when Molly and I pull out the cookbooks and try not to burn her house down, things like that, but it's not the same sort of happy."

"We could have that, Meredith…we could be happy again," Derek said hopefully.

"We will be," Meredith smiled, smiling softly. "Someday, we will be. I'm just…I'm getting ready, but I'm not there yet. I still have a lot of things to work out."

"So where do we go from here?" Derek asked.

"You don't have to wait for me," Meredith said.

"I do," Derek interrupted. "I need to wait for you, Meredith. Because I'm not settling, I'm not going to just make do with satisfied when I know you're the only one who can make me truly happy."

"Okay," Meredith said. "Then you wait. I'm just…I'm taking things one day at a time, Derek. And one of these days, one day in the not too distant future, I'm going to be ready, and I'll let you know."

"And in the meantime?" Derek asked.

"In the meantime, we do what we've been doing," Meredith said, standing up slowly and turning to face Derek. "And every night, when you go to bed, you know that I'm one day closer to you."

And with that, Meredith leaned down and kissed Derek softly on the lips, lingering just a moment longer than she felt she should have, before she smiled softly and turned away, walking slowly back into the reception as Derek watched her walk away.

As he sat there, her words echoed in his head. _One day at a time_, he thought to himself. For the first time in months, Derek had hope. She had told him she was coming back. She had given him something to look forward to. And he would wait. As long as it took, he would wait. He smiled at the thought as he got up from the bench and followed Meredith back into the reception.

_Got the rest of my life to look forward to, 'cause every day is one day closer to you._

* * *

**A/N:** Eek...it's over! 47 chapters, and there it is. All finished. I hope you liked it! I want to thank everyone who has been reading this, and especially everyone who has left me a review - I appreciate them so much! They really did keep me motivated and updating as quickly as I could. I hope that you will all take a moment and leave me one last review to let me know what you thought of the ending. For the record, I know it was a bit open ended - keep in mind that there will be a sequel coming soon. I'm not entirely sure when I will start posting it...I could, in theory, be ready to start posting as soon as next week, but I want to take some time to work on my other Grey's story before I start posting anything else. Plus, I'll be leaving on a two week vacation the first of July, and I don't really want to get to the good stuff just to leave you hanging for that long! So, expect the sequel by mid-July, but don't be surprised if I get impatient and post at least the first few chapters sooner!

As far as the sequel goes, that last line that Meredith says to Derek, that's actually the working title of the sequel - "One Day Closer To You". I, of course, reserve the right to change it as more of the story gets written, but for now, I think that's what I'm going with. It's a reference to a really great song by Carolyn Dawn Johnson, if anyone is interested. The main focus of the sequel will be on Meredith and Derek and them rebuilding their relationship, but it will also include lots of great stuff with the other characters as well. If there is anything you really want to see, or any character that you are dying to see me write more of, please let me know! I've already got tons of great stuff planned, including lots of scenes with the Shepherd family, for those of you who liked them in this story. I'm also planning to deal with Thatcher at some point in the sequel, although I'm not sure how yet, and I think I'll probably be introducing Molly's husband as well. And don't worry, Addison will be back, as will Kevin.

And for those of you who had wanted to this story to be Mer/Mark...I've just started writing a Mer/Mark story, so maybe that will make up for this becoming a Mer/Der? I probably won't be posting it for a while, but just a little something for you to look forward to!


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